Music Section Morning Tea Society

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Quickest thread split since December '63. Great work Frankie.

JuliusHMarx wrote:

rIck_dAgless wrote:(they still have Sheriff's up there)

Objection Your Honour. May it please the court, that counsel ensure the correct use of grammar.

If you ever put a legal documents through a grammar check, it comes out like a rainbow,

rIck_dAgless wrote:

JuliusHMarx wrote:

rIck_dAgless wrote:(they still have Sheriff's up there)

Objection Your Honour. May it please the court, that counsel ensure the correct use of grammar.

If you ever put a legal documents through a grammar check, it comes out like a rainbow,

If you ever put a rainbow lorikeet through a shredder, it comes out like a bloody rainbow.

Every month, Mrs D gets a box full of snacks from a random country (it is a subscription box) which apparently has some of the more famous snacks from the respective place.

Last month was Denmark, this month is your neck of the woods peej, good old Oz. Yes there were Tim Tams

Bloody Tim Tams. They are just Penguins without any fun.

You can't even pick them up.

Carlos, who abandoned us so cruelly, has delivered a truly great putdown to a truly trying pest on the rugby boards.

King_carlos wrote:whatahitson - were you involved with Peter Jackson's adaption of The Hobbit by any chance?

200 pages of children's fantasy writing painstakingly crammed into 10 hours of cinema bears a striking resemblance to many of your meandering posts on here.

I don't mind the odd tim tam but some people tend to severely overate... and overeat them. It's embarrassing. I prefer the choc wheaten which is basically a poor man's hobnob with a thin layer of chocolate on top.

April the fist

Silly sicond.

Don't know how to take LIW's tumour that the king's been spotted alive in the rugby boards. Admirable putdown though could've done with a sneaky cussword in the edit line.

I've got lots of work to do with it being the first of the month so I'm currently standing at the front door waiting for the cat to finish licking its anus clean in the hallway.

When I get back to the pc I'll very likely have a remote thrust into my face and be ordered to search for another Postman Pat.

April the Tird

Free of one job, now a couple of weeks before being trapped into another.

I took 5 weeks off between jobs in 2019, thanks to a generous redundancy package. It was glorious!

2011 they had a voluntary redundancy scheme running at the University I was working at. With the years I had done the offer worked out as about a year's salary.

Wasn't that relaxing as I didn't have a job to go to, and finding one took 9 months (the one I have just left). But it was good to have a break.

I was lucky - got offered another job less than a week after my old one ended. 20% pay increase as well.

JuliusHMarx wrote:I was lucky - got offered another job less than a week after my old one ended. 20% pay increase as well.

My old industry was notorious for that. Trading used to be right up there with football managers in as much as sh*t performance is zero barrier to getting other jobs.

Certainly back through the 2000's anyway. Probably changed now with all the super bright kids writing algo's but in the "old" days, you could f*ck up monumentally, take a golden goodbye, walk into another job with a golden handshake and then repeat the process. Mind boggling. I'm sure it's different now.

I might ask Mrs Windows if I can take voluntary redundancy. See if she will pay me off.

Saving Tina from an Easter michaelsing.

You're too kind. I mean that literally.

Who is he trying to kid though. He wants the Easter Michaelsing for himself.

Do I f*ck.

You're fooling no one, champ.

Pointless - Galted is going to steal it away from us when he gets up to pee in the middle of the night.

Don't know why an Easter michaelsing is such a big deal

Me neither. Bit pathetic really.

Been some time since Guildford dropped by. What did Tino do?

Dolphin Ziggler wrote:Been some time since Guildford dropped by. What did Tino do?

I made it very clear the meet would be on his terms and we wouldn't do anything he wasn't comfortable with.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Dolphin Ziggler wrote:Been some time since Guildford dropped by. What did Tino do?

I made it very clear the meet would be on his terms and we wouldn't do anything he wasn't comfortable with.

So you tried to involve him in a planned meet? Flagrant disrespect to the rules of the CC.

Or he was just giving you space to start a new CC round.

Bit confused with the clocks changing as to when I should make my Easter michaelsing charge.

Galted wrote:Bit confused with the clocks changing as to when I should make my Easter michaelsing charge.

Does it always take you five days to adjust to the clock change?

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:Me neither. Bit pathetic really.

Isn't it just

JuliusHMarx wrote:

Galted wrote:Bit confused with the clocks changing as to when I should make my Easter michaelsing charge.

Does it always take you five days to adjust to the clock change?

Depends how long it takes me to change the times on the oven and the microwave.

Galted wrote:

JuliusHMarx wrote:

Galted wrote:Bit confused with the clocks changing as to when I should make my Easter michaelsing charge.

Does it always take you five days to adjust to the clock change?

Depends how long it takes me to change the times on the oven and the microwave.

6 months?

I guess its not actually a michaelsing if people keep posting

JuliusHMarx wrote:

Galted wrote:

JuliusHMarx wrote:

Galted wrote:Bit confused with the clocks changing as to when I should make my Easter michaelsing charge.

Does it always take you five days to adjust to the clock change?

Depends how long it takes me to change the times on the oven and the microwave.

6 months?

L*l out loud.

lostinwales wrote:I guess its not actually a michaelsing if people keep posting

That was some sly manoeuvring.

Finally worked out what the growing smell in the dining room was. One of our cats must have brought in a live mouse, which then escaped to under the sideboard, only to expire there - not sure how long ago.

What were you doing under the sideboard?

You do realise that is the high altar for cats where they leave their offerings for The Big Whisker.

If your cat's anything like mine, it's testing out hiding places to find the perfect one for your corpse when the time comes.

My cats are nothing like yours, but that's probably more a reflection of me.

Frogs.

I hate it when the cats catch birds, although I have a certain respect for one of mine when he left a sparrow's head on the floor of the kitchen just staring at the ceiling last year.

Mice are sort of OK but then I am used to that having grown up with another cat that liked to make the most of her crunchy snacks under my bed at night

But frogs. They scream, and they are rubbish at hiding except under furniture where they die, only for their dried up corpses to be discovered months or years later. Cats don't want to eat them. Pre kids me and the wife were woken up at 6AM one time by a commotion under the bed, which was due to a cat with a frog. At that time we shut the cats in overnight.

The most impressive feat I'll ever see a cat do in an effort to catch a bird occurred many years ago out on a verandah with a high ceiling... which was about 3.5 metres or 11½ feet high. The old owner, who'll I call EB, was a tough bugger who'd not hesitate to shoot at anything that he thought shouldn't be on his property. Hard and cruel in the old-fashioned Australian farmer way.

So I was very surprised when he told me that he'd let a semi-feral cat with only 3 legs and one eye (not joking) stay at the homestead. The poor thing probably got caught in a rabbit trap and it's anyone's guess as to how it lost an eye. So EB called it Sailor, which was kind of ironic given this sprawling property was a few hundred miles from the sea near Boorowa. Sailor was a lovely cat... very friendly and always rubbing its fat head on your legs. I can still hear its loud purring... like a 2-stroke engine running smoothly. He was quite muscly (now being well fed) and obviously a survivor with superb natural killing instincts.

We were standing on the verandah with EB talking about some hair-brained scheme to grow wine or something (this was '88) and Sailor was hovering about acting a little agitated. Turns out there were these little sparrows (or swallows) flying in and out of the exposed verandah ceiling - there must have been a nest high up on a beam near the wall of the house. It was certainly a flurry of activity at that time.

Suddenly Sailor leapt up on EB's shoulder (he was about 6'5") and then sprang up another metre or so and snatched a swallow in mid air. Lightning fast with the most immaculate timing. And he did this with only three legs and one eye! He must have been waiting for that exact moment when EB was in the right position to be used as a springboard and just as an unfortunate swallow was either going in or out. We all just looked at each other completely stunned with amazement.

Fist!

Never seen a fist so late. Nor a sicond. This'll go down in history.

If I time this right it could be tird or fist

Fist!

Just got up to have a w*nk on the balcony and thought I'd get a fist in.  Very disappointed.

Tird twice in 9 hours

Must be the biggest gap between a fist and a tird but the smallest gap between two tirds so far.

Galted wrote:Just got up to have a w*nk on the balcony and thought I'd get a fist in.  Very disappointed.

I'm shocked - you have a balcony?!

Good morning, gentlefolk.