Random Thoughts.....

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Kevin Nash stated on RAW last night that from the moment he met Triple H he wanted to kick his ass. He refrained from doing so because Shawn Michaels told ‘Big Grandaddy Cool’ that he “saw something in this kid”.

Yeah, excellent bag-carrying skills.


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John Morrison won a match this week on RAW.

Melina celebrated by boffing the milkman, the postman, the butcher, the baker, the candlestick maker, the tinker, the tailor, the soldier, the spy, the gypsy, the tramp, the thief, the wardrobe repair man and Dolph Ziggler.


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I’ve figured out the reason Kevin Nash took out Triple H with a sledgehammer, it’s so the Game-uhh can return to RAW in a wheelchair. We all know he’s a mark for Ric Flair so now he’s going to take the NAITCHA F**KING BWAAAAH!’s greatest gimmick and claim it as his own.

This will all lead to a comeback by Wheelchair Flair where he confronts Wheelchair Hunter and they have a 60 Minute WOOOO-off.

“WOOOO!”

“WOOOO-uhh!”

“WOOOO!”

“WOOOO-uhh!”

“WOOOO!”

“WOOOO-uhh!”

“WOW! THAT’S MY LINE!”

“THAT’S MY LINE-uhh!”


RAW is WHEELCHAIR!


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Brodus Clay’s re-debut on RAW was delayed, attributed to Johnny Charisma being a mega heel and stating that he didn’t want to waste Clay’s big comeback on the audience in Liverpool.

I’m hoping that they save his return until Jim Ross is back on commentary, cos you just know he’s going to say something along the lines of:

“IT’S TAZZ! IT’S TAZZ! BAH GAWD KING TAZZ HAS RETURNED! THE HUMAN SUPLEX MACHINE! FROM THE RED HOOK SECTION OF BROOKLYN NEW YORK! GOOD GAWD ALMIGHTY WHAT A MOMENT! IT’S TAZZ! BEAT HIM IF YOU CAN! SURVIVE IF HE LET’S YOU BAH GAWD! TAZZ! TAZZ! TAZZ!”

“It’s not Tazz JR, it’s Brodus Clay”

“TAZZ! TAZZ! TAZZ!”

“JR get down off the announce table, it’s not Tazz”

“BUT......IT’S............TAZZ. BAH GAWD!”

“No JR, it really isn’t”

~Whimpering~ “Tazz.......it’s.........Tazz.........Tazz.............Suplex...........Machine..............Tazz”

Now that’s the way to re-debut Brodus Clay.


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It’s been announced that Randy Orton and Wade Barrett will captain teams in a traditional elimination match at Survivor Series. Barrett as a captain makes about as much sense as handing a WWE Diva a microphone. Surely the gig should have gone to Cody Rhodes (you know, the guy who’s currently feuding with Orton) or Christian, the senior member of the team.

I only hope that WWE go totally old school and give each team a cheesy name. Seeing as the most obvious choice for Orton’s team’s name (The Vipers) has already been done, I suggest they go by the moniker The Stupid, Stupid, Stupids given Randy and Kofi Kingston’s previous shenanigans.

As for Team Barrett, you could have The Hub, The Nucleus, The Crux, The Cannon Fodder, The Sacrificial Lambs or The Making Up the Numbers.


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Evan Bourne is the latest WWE Stupidstar (did he just say Stupidstar?) to get Wellnessed. At the height of the biggest push of his career, one of half the tag team champions has earned himself a 30 day suspension for smoking ecstasy or injecting marijuana or whatever it is these crazy kids get up to nowadays.

This never would have happened with Jefferson Impact.


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Idea for the Diva’s division – A proper faction. I’m not talking about a team like Beth Phoenix and Natalya, what WWE needs is the Four Horsewomen!

Eve Torres, being the most charismatic, most technically gifted and most over, shall be repackaged as the ‘Nature Girl’ Eve Flair, the undisputed leader of the group. Kelly Kelly will become the ‘Enforceress’, Double K - Kelly Kelly. She’d be the heavy of the group, always there to back up her fellow Horsewomen. She could form a tag team with her ‘cousin’, the repackaged Kaitlyn, who will henceforth be known as Ole Kelly. Finally, rounding out the group would be the perennial upper mid-carder; Tully Mendes.

With this group running roughshod over the WWE, the Diva’s division would overtake their male counterparts and finally become the focal point of the company.

Mark it doooooooown!


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Mick Foley has returned to the WWE, making his first appearance at a house show in Dublin. I give it 2 weeks before he starts writing another autobiography.


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I was watching the ‘OMG Top 50 Moments’ DVD the other night and all I can say is that Evan Bourne should not be allowed to speak at any time, at any place. Ever.

It was like; “So Evan, what did you think of the Undertaker throwing Mankind off the top of cell?”

Cue cheesy grin: “It was really wow because I was like amazing and he did that to him with the throwing off of Mankind and the Undertaker was there so I was so amazed that he would do that to him with the throwing and the cell and it was amazing because Undertaker threw him off the cell and I didn’t think he’d do that to him but he did and it was amazing”.

“Umm.......okaaaaaaaay. What about Sable’s boobs?”

Cue cheesy grin: “Wow I mean Sable had hands instead of boobs and they were black hands but Sable’s white so I was amazed that she’d have hands there instead of boobs because all women have boobs there but no Sable had hands and it was amazing that she had no boobs but hands there instead and I always used to like Sable and her boobs but then I found out she has hands down there and I didn’t like her any more because having hands instead of boobs isn’t amazing it’s weird. I don’t like hands”.

“Alright thanks”.


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James Storm didn’t exactly carry himself like a World champion when he came out for his promo at the beginning of (Jefferson) Impact. He looked like he’d nicked the belt backstage and was waiting for a bunch of stage hands to come running out to try and take it back off him.

His promo was a little strange as well, in the midst of all the references to him being a beer drinker, he came out and said he WASN’T going to be defending the belt 24/7. Now obviously he wouldn’t be doing that anyway, but isn’t it better for your World champion to say he’ll take on anyone, anytime?

Steve Austin famously once said “I could kick your ass any day of the week, twice on Sunday”. James Storm’s version would be more like “I could kick your ass any day of the week.....well not on Monday because my daughter’s recital is on Monday.........and Tuesday’s out because I have to drink beer........Wednesday’s no good because my wife’s parents are coming over......Thursday could be a problem because I’ve got to scold my dog..........Friday’s out because it’s BBQ and beer night........there’s college football on Saturday and Sunday’s for church and beer.......maybe I could fit you in on Saturday afternoon. Yeah that’s it, I could kick your ass Saturday between 2pm and 3pm!”

Now THAT’S fighting talk!


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Garrett Bischoff made a MASSIVE stride forward on the latest episode of (Jefferson) Impact – he kept his shirt on the entire time.

Aside from that, all I can say is that Garrett Bischoff has ‘it’........sorry that was Autocorrect in full effect there, I was meant to say Garrett Bischoff is sh*t.


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Crimson and Matt Morgan set up what they claimed is the match that EVERYBODY wants to see at Turning Point. Correct me if I’m wrong, but it seems to me that Crimson and Morgan are confusing the word ‘every’ with the word ‘no’.

I haven’t been this underwhelmed since Savio Vega was unveiled as Shawn Michaels’ replacement in the 8 man tag team match at No Way Out in 1998.


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On a side note, what does Crimson’s undefeated streak currently stand at? I can’t recall anyone putting a figure on it, they just harp on about the fact he’s undefeated.

Fair enough, it’s easier than trying to keep tabs on how many wins he’s had, and it stops TNA going the WCW route of falsely adding wins to the streak to make it seem more impressive, to the point where one week it stands at 62-0 then by the next it’s magically risen to 78-0.

I just get the feeling that when it gets to the point where people genuinely give a toss about Crimson’s undefeated streak, Eric Bischoff will tweet; “He’s not ACTUALLY undefeated! He lost in Podunk, Oklahoma to Kazarian in like his second or third match! Hahahaha! Sucks to be you, you bunch of clueless marks! We fooled you ALL!”


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Kid Kash threatened to take a knife to Jesse Sorensen after the rookie, the blue chipper, the stud, the hoss, the kid with bags of potential but potential don’t buy you the groceries defeated the X Division champion Austin Aries in a non-title match. Maybe he could borrow Samoa Joe’s machete from the ‘Nation of Paint a Dick on My Face’ days. We all know how effective that was, just look at the hideous scar on Scott Steiner’s face from when Joe ‘cut’ him.

Kash could at least have come up with something a bit more original, I mean Christopher Daniels is already doing the whole stabby gimmick with the screwdriver. Options Kash could have gone for instead include;

• Feeding Jesse Sorensen Quorn until he throws up.
• Forcing Jesse Sorensen to wear a pair of wrestling trunks that are 3 sizes too small (He may already have done this one).
• Kidnapping Jesse Sorensen’s football and holding it hostage.
• Tying Jesse Sorensen up then having Karen Jarrett read ‘War and Peace’ to him.

Each one more heinous and hellacious than the last.


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TNA has reached a deal with OVW to become their developmental territory. Good move by TNA to link up with the group that gave us such luminaries as Brock Lesnar, John Cena, Randy Orton, Batista and Shelton Benjamin.

Look out for future TNA shows where we’ll see the debuts of ‘The Subsequent Large Object’ Lock Bresnar, ‘The General Practitioner of Gangsteranomics’ Cohn Jena, ‘The Adder’ Ondy Rarton, ‘The Creature’ Abtista and ‘The Finest Untainted Competitor in TNA’ Belton Shenjamin.

OVW is also where WWE sent the Big Show and Mark Henry to lose weight, and just look at the results! Can’t wait for TNA to send Mickie James there to slim down, she’ll come back looking like 10lbs of sh*t stuffed into a 5lb bag.


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Melina’s 90 day no-compete clause has now expired and she’s free to join TNA should she/TNA wish.

John Morrison is said to be thrilled at the prospect, as it gives him a glut of new wardrobes to furiously fapp on top of.

Not as good as previous efforts Y2D2, i expect more next week!!

Y2 i hope the game-uhh returns 2 weeks before the rumble to announce that hes returning at the rumble to win and go onto face nash

I thought it was excellent again

2 random thoughts (no gimmick infringement intended) about impact this week were sting saying he'd known Garrett since he was about 6 (if that's the case, why did he not think to point out about a year ago that the young ref making all the bad calls was Bischoff's son) and Eric repeating calling his Garrett a son of a bitch, which surely isn't the best insult to fire at your own son

Anyway this thread seemed as good a place as any to point these things out

Loved the fourhorsewoman idea!!!

I can actually see TNA do that with Crimson before Bischoff puts me in my place for being a stupid mark

Excellent once again! Love the wheelchair bound Flair and HHH thought!

You should be a booker, and then you'd get my new hero, Jefferson Impact wrestling!

love the woo- off in wheel chairs bewteen HHH and Flair.
also the Four Horsewomen is great!

The Random thoughts on Flair always make me laugh. A whole thread of Flair random would have me in stiches!

Really liking the name Jefferson Impact...what would his finisher be called? And what would it be??