Complete the sentence

First topic message reminder :

This is a game where you complete the sentence of the previous post and start off a new sentence for the next poster to complete.

Its not to make a story, just a load of random sentences.

To start you off:

The fridge door wouldnt open so I............

I never knew Conchita had an interest in ......................rapid riding

But i was willing to give it a try , so the next day we all headed to the airport were we.....................

But i was willing to give it a try , so the next day we all headed to the airport were we......... waited for our plane to the Iguacu Falls in Brazil.

There seemed to be a mix up with our accommodation booking because we soon discovered..........................................

There seemed to be a mix up with our accommodation booking because we soon discovered............that i was in a different hotel to the rest .

At first i was upset but then i realised i had the case with all the money in , so i ..................................

At first i was upset but then i realised i had the case with all the money in , so i .............. bribed the doorman at the Blue Spray Hotel to get me into the other hotel through the delivery dock.

Conchita's room was huge and had spectacular views out over the falls. I now knew why they called this hotel: .............................

Conchita's room was huge and had spectacular views out over the falls. I now knew why they called this hotel: .......The White foam

And looking at Conchita in that floral dress i was thinking of a different type of foam .......................

And looking at Conchita in that floral dress i was thinking of a different type of foam ............... more like some of my DNA foam; ejected at a staggering velocity of 1192 km/h and leaving serious gooey white skid marks on the ceiling especially.

Having sized up the impact potential of the mirrors, lampshades, bed linen and curtains, I proceeded..................................

Having sized up the impact potential of the mirrors, lampshades, bed linen and curtains, I proceeded...............use some old sheets and masking tape to try and lessen the damage

All I needed now was ..............................

All I needed now was .................... a video camera and a time gun which at first seemed to stop my plan in it's tracks.

Then I noticed the suite of the balcony next to Conchita's had an open door so I crept along the ledge and hopped over the handrail only to see...........................................................

Then I noticed the suite of the balcony next to Conchita's had an open door so I crept along the ledge and hopped over the handrail only to see..............................Chonchita in bed with someone else !

In a rage i ...............................

In a rage i ........................ threw the bucket of champagne & ice at them and there was a loud scream from under the sheets.

"Mum, I thought you were in the salon? I'm looking for a camera... can I borrow yours because..............................

"Mum, I thought you were in the salon? I'm looking for a camera... can I borrow yours because...mines broken

With the photos now taken i decided i needed to get away from everyone so i booked i flight gathered all the money and headed .....................

With the photos now taken i decided i needed to get away from everyone so i booked i flight gathered all the money and headed ..................... to Tokyo.

After checking into my hotel room I decided to go for a walk around the notorious red-light district of Shinjuku. The African touts were out in force and I must have looked like.....................

After checking into my hotel room I decided to go for a walk around the notorious red-light district of Shinjuku. The African touts were out in force and I must have looked like...........a easy target

They swarmed at me trying to sell me everything from a ...........................

They swarmed at me trying to sell me everything from a ............... fake Rolex to a baby elephant named Bobo.

Just as my patience was running out I was confronted with................

Just as my patience was running out I was confronted with................the realisation of my baldness & own mortality. I sat down on the kerb and had a big.......

I sat down on the kerb and had a big....car drive over my feet, in fariness I shouldnt have been sitting there but...

in fariness I shouldnt have been sitting there but...jesus im big enough to see

In a rage i jumped up and chased after the car , only to........................

In a rage i jumped up and chased after the car , only to......................realise the bloody thing had run over my feet so I couldnt run anywhere. I did get my revenge however....

I did get my revenge however....in another way

Having taken down the number plate i tracked them down to their house and ............

Having taken down the number plate i tracked them down to their house and ..... after checking their names on some of their mail in the letter box; snooped around their home.

Looking through some paper curtains, I saw the driver arguing with his wife about something, most likely it was.....................................

Looking through some paper curtains, I saw the driver arguing with his wife about something, most likely it was......about me

I knocked on the door , and when it opened i ..............................

I knocked on the door , and when it opened i ............ saw a angry pekinese dog snarling at me.

In one swift movement I.......................................

In one swift movement I...........scooped it up and snapped it's neck

I ran into the house i a ........................

I ran into the house in a ............... commando style move crashing through more paper walls.

The driver was standing there carrying a .........................................

The driver was standing there carrying a .........................................stuffed armadillo. So I grabbed him by the nipples and....................................

So I grabbed him by the nipples and......swung him around the room

There was armadillo Poopie all over when i finished , but ......................

There was armadillo Poopie all over when i finished , but ............... that was the least of my concerns.

My feet were feeling a little sore so I went out to the ..........................

My feet were feeling a little sore so I went out to the ..........garden

And i .................................

And i ........................... dipped my feet in the carp pond.

Looking at the reflection behind me I noticed.........................

Looking at the reflection behind me I noticed.........................to my horror that the sign didn't say carp pond but cr@p pond.
I shrieked and............................

I shrieked and................... pulled my now 'burning' feet out.

You should have seen the crap on them - faeces, worms, maggots... not to mention..................................................

You should have seen the crap on them - faeces, worms, maggots... not to mention............the blisters

I spent the next few hours with a pin popping them , when i was done i ..........

I spent the next few hours with a pin popping them , when i was done i .......... hobbled off to the airport, glad to be leaving the country.

One of things I like about arriving home is the.......................

One of things I like about arriving home is the...............smell of my own home

Just walking in the door brought back so many................................

Just walking in the door brought back so many.............. miserably, horrific memories.

That time when I was locked up in a...................................

That time when I was locked up in a...................................trunk with my neighbour's granny. She kept trying to grab my............................

She kept trying to grab my............................ testicles wearing a pair of dirty old garden gloves.

Luckily, my sack............................................................

Luckily, my sack............................................................was swollen with static electriciy. With a yelp she...................................

With a yelp she............................... let go and crashed backwards through the trunk and landed awkwardly near the basement wall.

I then noticed an old 80s porn magazine on the floor entitled: "....................................................

I then noticed an old 80s porn magazine on the floor entitled: "....................................................Slags with Mullets & Legwarmers". I roared "phwooaaaarr" and grabbed..........................

I roared "phwooaaaarr" and grabbed.......................... what I thought was a can of multi-purpose car lubricant.

The industrial solvent had an immediate affect. At first........................................

At first........................................I had to Google "industrial solvent". My interest soon waned & I found myself looking at pictures of........................

My interest soon waned & I found myself looking at pictures of............shaved goats

The way their horns were far more prominent was such a turn on that i just had to ........................

The way their horns were far more prominent was such a turn on that i just had to .............. experience one in the flesh.

Finding one was going to be difficult however, so instead I.......................

Finding one was going to be difficult however, so instead I.......................snuck into the local mortuary instead hoping for a bit of gratification. Imagine my disgust when.............................

Imagine my disgust when..................... I realised I had walked into the local abattoir which shared the same back entrance.

There were carcasses hanging everywhere from meat hooks but what caught my eye was....................................................

There were carcasses hanging everywhere from meat hooks but what caught my eye was....................................................Linebreaker's using the phrase "back entrance". I chuckled to myself then realised.......................

I chuckled to myself then realised....................... he was very good at double innuendo and the like.

I had never seen so many hookers in the one place. This old sow looked a bit.......................

I had never seen so many hookers in the one place. This old sow looked a bit.............ham fisted

So i fisted her more ..................................

So i fisted her more ....................... until my fingers cramped up.

I heard a groan behind one of the carcasses and it was Conchita. She had.............