Complete the sentence

First topic message reminder :

This is a game where you complete the sentence of the previous post and start off a new sentence for the next poster to complete.

Its not to make a story, just a load of random sentences.

To start you off:

The fridge door wouldnt open so I............

She had.............been giving herself a kidney transplant.

I shook my head sadly and said to her........................

I shook my head sadly and said to her...........it would be easier with a knife rather then a spoon .

It was as if a light went off in her head as she .........................

It was as if a light went off in her head as she ................. stitched herself back up and got dressed.

As she bent over to put on her shoes I couldn't resist.............................

As she bent over to put on her shoes I couldn't resist.............................& flicked her on the @rse with a rolled up towel.
Jumping, she squealed and.......................

Jumping, she squealed and.........with pleasure

Which was all i need to slip ...............

Which was all i need to slip ........... my purple love truncheon in.

We were startled after about 23 minutes by a..................................

We were startled after about 23 minutes by a..............clap of thunder

To my surprise she jumped off me and ran screaming for the door ...........

To my surprise she jumped off me and ran screaming for the door ...........knob. "Oi" I said, "what's wrong with mine" but she.................

"Oi" I said, "what's wrong with mine" but she................. ignored me and introduced herself to the door.

Almost simultaneously however, the door burst open and in came................

Almost simultaneously however, the door burst open and in came..............a strip o gram

" So who's birthday is it ? " she asked ....................

" So who's birthday is it ? " she asked ...................."P1ss off mum" I snapped.
She p1ssed off and I felt.............................

She p1ssed off and I felt..............sorry

But then i remembered my schlong was still throbbing , so i .................

But then i remembered my schlong was still throbbing , so i ............... jacked off near a box of fruit.

'Product of Panama" it said on the box and it occurred to me that...............

'Product of Panama" it said on the box and it occurred to me that.........i was missing home

After wiping myself on a banana leaf i decided to ring .....................

After wiping myself on a banana leaf i decided to ring ...................... the neck of an insanely large turkey.

After being shamed against my will by Michael Jackson's monkey I decided to make..........

After being shamed against my will by Michael Jackson's monkey I decided to make......a film about it

As the director shouted " Action " i .................

As the director shouted " Action " i ................. just stood there under the harsh studio lights; staring ahead with my arms up above my head in a sort of v-shape.

My white make-up started to trickle down my neck like...................................

My white make-up started to trickle down my neck like........warm spunk

Then i just flipped , i couldn't control myself and ......................

Then i just flipped , i couldn't control myself and ................. began the dance routine as per my choreographed script.

The director was lost for words and I even got a small round of applause from the Korean cleaners up the back of the hall who incidentally.................

The director was lost for words and I even got a small round of applause from the Korean cleaners up the back of the hall who incidentally..............were trained monkey jugglers

"If you have never seen anyone juggle monkeys then you are missing out and these ladies are at the head of there class " said the director , so he invited them onto the stage and .....................

"If you have never seen anyone juggle monkeys then you are missing out and these ladies are at the head of there class " said the director , so he invited them onto the stage and .......... the monkeys were brought out on leads by the window cleaner.

"이를테면 바비 제니에게 분노하는 사람이 있... 지영준은 조심!" [ http://translation.babylon.com/english/to-korean/ ]

"Hang on, Bobby is still angry with Jenny...be careful Ji Young!" but the juggler didn't seem to think this was a problem until....................................

"Hang on, Bobby is still angry with Jenny...be careful Ji Young!" but the juggler didn't seem to think this was a problem until.............................Bobby lunged at her

The fight that happened next was of biblical proportion .................

The fight that happened next was of biblical proportion ........... and the rest of the monkeys joined in the vicious attack on Ji Young.

It was all over in under a minute and unfortunately.................

It was all over in under a minute and unfortunately........Ji Young lost an arm and both ears

The monkeys were out of control , and it looked like .......................

The monkeys were out of control , and it looked like ........... it would never end.

Booby had swung from a curtain rail directly onto Jenny's..................

Booby had swung from a curtain rail directly onto Jenny's.........head

She ran around screaming with her arms flying everywhere , but that only ............

She ran around screaming with her arms flying everywhere , but that only ...... excited Booby who approached her from behind.

After a brief attempt to discourage him they were soon................

After a brief attempt to discourage him they were soon.........banging away

I had never seen such a thing in my life , yet seemed to be drawn to it ...........

I had never seen such a thing in my life , yet seemed to be drawn to it ...... like a moth to a flame.

"I hope you're enjoying watching the monkeys get it on" said........................

"I hope you're enjoying watching the monkeys get it on" said..............a voice from the back .

As i turned round i saw a man wearing ..............................

As i turned round i saw a man wearing ................ a large grin. It was Jose.

"Man, we've been looking for you everywhere. Your Mum seems to have upset the bikies again and they're.......................................

"Man, we've been looking for you everywhere. Your Mum seems to have upset the bikies again and they're..........looking for her .

Mum had gone on the run , and now Jose needed me to help find her .................

Mum had gone on the run , and now Jose needed me to help find her .......... and he was completely clueless to her whereabouts it seemed.

"Have you checked the salon?" I asked. "...........................................................

"Have you checked the salon?" I asked. "............She may gone there "

We set off to the airport for the long journey home , but were stopped by .............

We set off to the airport for the long journey home , but were stopped by ...... some illegal windscreen washers at a set of lights.

When one of them held his filthy squeegee over the car bonnet, Jose reacted quickly by...................................

When one of them held his filthy squeegee over the car bonnet, Jose reacted quickly by............slamming his foot on the gas pedal

We were soon at the airport and then on a flight back home , but when we landed we ...................................

We were soon at the airport and then on a flight back home , but when we landed we .................. realised that we had forgotten about Mum.

However a quick phone call assured us everything..........................

However a quick phone call assured us everything...............was still up in the air

Mum was still missing and now the Triad were looking for her , we decided to look at the salon for her and as we opened the door ..........................

Mum was still missing and now the Triad were looking for her , we decided to look at the salon for her and as we opened the door ......................... there was Mum getting a pedicure... completely oblivious to the impeding danger.

"Quick, we need to get to a safe house!" I said. "But my nails..................

"Quick, we need to get to a safe house!" I said. "But my nails............are still wet !"

I grabbed her hand and .....................

I grabbed her hand and ............. we hopped into Jose's side car attached to his rented Maxi-scooter.

"Where did you find this?" I asked "Well, it's a long story but....................

"Where did you find this?" I asked "Well, it's a long story but.........theres this thing called a phone !" said Jose

After i slapped him for being sarcastic , we sped off in the direction of ...............

ter i slapped him for being sarcastic , we sped off in the direction of ............... east.

No, west.......................

No , west ............................. oh i dont know ?

The bloody sat nav wasn't working !! , just then Mum said " .......

The bloody sat nav wasn't working !! , just then Mum said " ....... how about that hotel there. The sign says they have vacancies..."

There was nobody at the reception desk but Jose noticed the keys in the rack so he leant over the counter to.....................................

There was nobody at the reception desk but Jose noticed the keys in the rack so he leant over the counter to..........grab them

Just then a ghostly hand reached out and ........................

Just then a ghostly hand reached out and .............. grabbed Jose's arm.

It was the Receptionist. She had been tied up (during an apparent robbery) but had just managed to loosen the ropes and her first words were "....................................

It was the Receptionist. She had been tied up (during an apparent robbery) but had just managed to loosen the ropes and her first words were "................Dont just stand there , get me untied you fools !!! "

I looked at Jose , Jose looked at me and we both knew what that other was thinking ................ we both turned to her and said "...........

I looked at Jose , Jose looked at me and we both knew what that other was thinking ................ we both turned to her and said "...........we need a quiet room out the back, please"

"Well then, Room 701 should be ready soon. In the meantime I suggest you go to the...................................

"Well then, Room 701 should be ready soon. In the meantime I suggest you go to the.........conference room , it's empty "

We made our way there , only to find ........................