Friday Fun - Boxing Limericks

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I'll lick any SOB in the room
Said Jordan, lifting the gloom

Boss-eyed binman Monroe
Went to Japan and had a good go
Too much, in the end
He lost to our slope eyed friend
This is getting rather racy-"Ah, so!"

Fleet fingered Union was quickest

Fleet fingered Union was quickest
However, Fists was the slickest

Fleet fingered Union was quickest
However, Fists was the slickest
So, perhaps a dead heat ?

Fleet fingered Union was quickest
However, Fists was the slickest
So, perhaps a dead heat ?
Amongst some of V2's elite

Fleet fingered Union was quickest
However, Fists was the slickest
So, perhaps a dead heat ?
Amongst some of V2's elite
And also some of V2's thickest

Union, you have a cheek

Fleet fingered Union was quickest
However , Fists was the slickest
So, perhaps a dead heat?
Amongst some of V2's elite
And also for some of its thickest.

Gaaah,damn you Union Cane!( Got there first...)

Union, you have a cheek
He said, while taking a leak

Union ,you have a cheek
He said, taking a leak
Said Cane, "Don't mind if I do"

Union ,you have a cheek
He said, taking a leak
Said Cane, "Don't mind if I do"
But I'll also take a poo

Union ,you have a cheek
He said, taking a leak
Said Cane, "Don't mind if I do"
But I'll also take a poo
You don't take a poo, you leave one, you freak!

The best Ian Dury record is "New Boots and Panties!!"

The best Ian Dury record is "New Boots and Panties!!"
It's getting very difficult to chant these

The best Ian Dury record is "New Boots and Panties!!"
It's getting very difficult to chant these
And they're not making sense

The best Ian Dury record is "New Boots and Panties!!"
It's getting very difficult to chant these
And they're not making sense
Aren't consistent, in tense

The best Ian Dury record is "New Boots and Panties!!"
It's getting very difficult to chant these
And they're not making sense
Aren't consistent, in tense
We should form a group of Limerick Vigilantes

Well Windy's a cunning old linguist

Well Windy's a cunning old linguist
But no longer able to sling fists

Well Windy's a cunning old linguist
But no longer able to sling fists
Just sits in his chair

Well Windy's a cunning old linguist
But no longer able to sling fists
Just sits in his chair
With a nostalgic air

Well Windy's a cunning old linguist
But no longer able to sling fists
Just sits in his chair
With a nostalgic air
Sipping his brandy, he's constantly p****d

"He ain't so pretty no more"

"He ain't so pretty no more"
Said the warden, showing Floyd the cell door

"He ain't so pretty no more"
Said the warden, showing Floyd the cell door
A distinct lack of class

"He ain't so pretty no more"
Said the warden, showing Floyd the cell door
A distinct lack of class
Now he's down on his ass

"He ain't so pretty no more"
Said the warden, showing Floyd the cell door
A distinct lack of class
Now he's down on his ass
He'll not fight again, that's for sure

Mr Shavers, a Liverpool doorman

Mr Shavers, a Liverpool doorman
Packed a wallop greater than Foreman

Mr Shavers, a Liverpool doorman
Packed a wallop greater than Foreman
Many a contender

Mr Shavers, a Liverpool doorman
Packed a wallop greater than Foreman
Many a contender
Considered surrender

Mr Shavers, a Liverpool doorman
Packed a wallop greater than Foreman
Many a contender
Considered surrender
A moment before Earnie floored 'em

Azania drank creatine

Azania drank creatine
As his physique was like a runner bean

Azania drank creatine
As his physique was like a runner bean
Ripped, he was not

Azania drank creatine
As his physique was like a runner bean
Ripped, he was not
Like a big drip of snot

Azania drank creatine
As his physique was like a runner bean
Ripped, he was not
Like a big drip of snot
Oh how he wished he could be a teen

Trussman, our resident Yank

Trussman, our resident Yank
Enjoys a nice Sauvignon Blanc

Trussman, our resident Yank
Enjoys a nice Sauvignon Blanc
Numerous he sunk

Trussman, our resident Yank
Enjoys a nice Sauvignon Blanc
Numerous he sunk
As he calmly debunked

Trussman, our resident Yank
Enjoys a nice Sauvignon Blanc
Numerous he sunk
As he calmly debunked
Rolled like a drunk to the bank

I spent half an hour with Lloyd Honeyghan

I spent half an hour with Lloyd Honeyghan
In the casino, when I left all my money gone

I spent half an hour with Lloyd Honeyghan
In the casino, when I left all my money gone
We chatted about Curry

I spent half an hour with Lloyd Honeyghan
In the casino, when I left all my money gone
We chatted about Curry
Told me he preferred a McFlurry

I spent half an hour with Lloyd Honeyghan
In the casino, when I left all my money gone
We chatted about Curry
Told me he preferred a McFlurry
Then he announced he must run again

A slippery customer, was Pernell

A slippery customer, was Pernell
Nice wife he had, knew her well

A slippery customer, was Pernell
Nice wife he had, knew her well
Used to go round, when he was out