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The Azzrentice! Week 4

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Gregers
sodhat
Trebs
GSC
Marky
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Post by Guest Mon Dec 03, 2012 9:42 pm

Week 4

Myself and Lady Viva have this week won £100m on the Euromillions lottery. After much discussion, we have decided to keep £50m for personal use, and to use the remaining £50m for an exciting business opportunity.

We want to own our own football club, and take it to the Premier League. Your task is three-fold:

- Choose a current non-league team to takeover, giving consideration to the fans, the town, and the history of the club;
- Plot our future course - stadium improvements, fan buy-in, sponsorship deals, player purchases, promotion planning etc;
- Come up with a club ethos - how will our club be known around the world in its principles and style? Factor in expectation of the players, the media, playing and coaching styles etc

Remember to cost up all your parts of the submission so we know how you're spending our money.

I realise this could be a HUGE task, so I will take that into account if you don't write 6 pages of text.

The winner will be the team that comes up with the more exciting portfolio. From the losing team, one of you will be fired.

Team Scholes:
Hero - CAPTAIN - FIRED
Trebs - FIRED
Gregers - IN THE FINAL

Team Wilshere:
Soddy - CAPTAIN - IN THE FINAL
Marky - IN THE FINAL

Team Wilshere may choose to ask for help from either GSC or Afro, their choice (and if GSC/Afro wish to do so). The remaining person will be my assistant for the week.

Questions when you're ready OK


Last edited by Azzy Mahmood on Sat Dec 15, 2012 2:24 am; edited 5 times in total

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Post by Marky Sat Dec 08, 2012 2:33 am

Does it matter where in non-league the club currently are? There's a big difference between Conference/Blue Square Premier and County Leagues.

Marky

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Post by Guest Sat Dec 08, 2012 3:30 am

Not at all Marky, that'll be your choice. Obviously your valuation of a Conference team would be higher than for a BSP side.

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Post by GSC Sun Dec 09, 2012 12:03 am

Who be I following
GSC
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Post by Guest Tue Dec 11, 2012 12:36 am

GSC wrote:Who be I following
Sorry mate, I missed this Laugh

Please follow Team Wilshere Hug

Task 5 will be lighter in terms of thought required. Give you guys a week off after such a difficult task.

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Post by Trebs Tue Dec 11, 2012 8:09 am

Hey,

After this week can we have a break till after New Year please as I won't be around?

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Post by Guest Wed Dec 12, 2012 11:09 pm

Azzrentice reminder - deadline is 2359 tomorrow.

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Post by Guest Wed Dec 12, 2012 11:09 pm

onlytreblewinners wrote:Hey,

After this week can we have a break till after New Year please as I won't be around?
And yes, we can. We'll need it!

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Post by sodhat Thu Dec 13, 2012 11:33 pm

Dear Lord Azzy,

Please find enclosed our submission for week 4 of The Azzrentice. Marky and I have enjoyed it immensely, and we hope you find it an enthralling read.

Spoiler:

With compliments of the season,

Team Wilshere

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

(most of those kisses are from Marky)

sodhat

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Post by Guest Fri Dec 14, 2012 1:10 am

Paddy Power latest odds on the Azzrentice:

Marky 1/4
Soddy 11/1

Here comes your latest bets, on your screen now:

Next batch of kisses: Marky 5/1, Soddy 1/100*








*if he knows what's good for him

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Post by Marky Fri Dec 14, 2012 1:13 am

£10 on me.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Yay, £60 returns The Azzrentice! Week 4 3559488474

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Post by Guest Fri Dec 14, 2012 1:14 am

Marky wrote:£10 on me.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Yay, £60 returns The Azzrentice! Week 4 3559488474
Ray Winstone hates you right now Laugh

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Post by Gregers Fri Dec 14, 2012 8:31 am

Team Scholes present their submission to your Lord Azzy

Team Scholes - Week 4:

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Post by Guest Fri Dec 14, 2012 10:04 am

Thank you to both teams, another two outstanding submissions.

Azzrentice will start at 1200 tomorrow.

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Post by Guest Fri Dec 14, 2012 10:55 pm

Good morning ladies and gentlemen.

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Post by sodhat Fri Dec 14, 2012 10:58 pm

Morning Lord Azzy

I managed to wake up

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Post by Trebs Fri Dec 14, 2012 11:00 pm

Afternoon Lord Azzy.

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Post by Guest Fri Dec 14, 2012 11:01 pm

Thank you for two very good submissions. It's a tough call. Let's look at the task, of which there were four key parts:

1. Choose a current non-league team to takeover, giving consideration to the fans, the town, and the history of the club;
2. Plot our future course - stadium improvements, fan buy-in, sponsorship deals, player purchases, promotion planning etc;
3. Come up with a club ethos - how will our club be known around the world in its principles and style? Factor in expectation of the players, the media, playing and coaching styles etc
4. Remember to cost up all your parts of the submission so we know how you're spending our money.

Team Wilshere, let's start with you - Soddy, good team captain? How did you go about the task? Get back to me by 1210 please.

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Post by sodhat Fri Dec 14, 2012 11:04 pm

I was alright as captain, but it wasn't so important because Marky and I worked very well together.

We went about the task by discussing it throwing ideas back and forth, and agreeing decisions.

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Post by Guest Fri Dec 14, 2012 11:05 pm

And whose idea was it to spend £1m of my money each year on media consultants?

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Post by sodhat Fri Dec 14, 2012 11:05 pm

That was me

I work in the private sector, we love to spend on consultants

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Post by sodhat Fri Dec 14, 2012 11:06 pm

In hindsight that was a massive overestimation of their role Laugh

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Post by Guest Fri Dec 14, 2012 11:07 pm

What would spending £2m on a youth setup get me? A training ground with top facilities but no kids to play at it? Or average facilities with great kids?

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Post by sodhat Fri Dec 14, 2012 11:09 pm

We'd focus on top facilities

The kids would come from the local area, and there is a large catchment for players. No guarantees that they are great, but equally you can't dismiss them as average yet.

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Post by Guest Fri Dec 14, 2012 11:10 pm

Okay, that's enough. Shame Marky isn't here.

Team Scholes - Hero, good team leader? How did you go about the task? And in particular, whose idea was it to retain a convicted child killer at my football club?

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Post by Trebs Fri Dec 14, 2012 11:12 pm

Hero contributed nothing, so he was a terrible PM.

And it was my idea on retaining a convicted child killer.

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Post by Guest Fri Dec 14, 2012 11:12 pm

We'll finish your bit at 1220 btw.

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Post by Guest Fri Dec 14, 2012 11:12 pm

Hero contributed nothing - really? That's why Gregers made the submission?

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Post by Trebs Fri Dec 14, 2012 11:13 pm

Yes, Hero didn't do anything. Me and Gregers had to act without him, I think I was more in control but we worked well in the short period of time we had.

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Post by Gregers Fri Dec 14, 2012 11:13 pm

Hero wasn't a very good leader, he made it clear he wasn't in to the task and then buggered off.

The task was split up between me and trebs.

Publicity and getting his career back in track, trebs idea as he was in charge on players

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Post by Guest Fri Dec 14, 2012 11:15 pm

So whose idea was it to keep the current manager until someone better becomes available?

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Post by Trebs Fri Dec 14, 2012 11:16 pm

Mine OK

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Post by Gregers Fri Dec 14, 2012 11:17 pm

If you look at clubs that get taken over, keeping the current manager is always a way of getting in with the fans. If he doesn't perform then we will get rid.


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Post by Guest Fri Dec 14, 2012 11:18 pm

You're on fire today Trebs Laugh

Last question, why were there no real costs supplied? I have the spending on players there, but not much else. Are you planning on absconding to the Scilly Isles with my money?

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Post by Gregers Fri Dec 14, 2012 11:19 pm

Putting monetary values is always a tricky one as realistically they have to be plucked out of the air. For example saying it will cost x amount to do something is irrelevant when it can't be backed up with actual figures.

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Post by Guest Fri Dec 14, 2012 11:21 pm

Team Wilshere managed it.

I've made my decision.

Team Scholes...

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Post by Guest Fri Dec 14, 2012 11:23 pm

You have lost this round. At 1400 we will analyse the reasons for this, and at least one of you will be fired.

Team Wilshere - congratulations on making the Final (yes you heard, the week we come back will be the Final The Azzrentice! Week 4 3559488474). Your treat this week is to get down your local swimming pool and practice your Santi Cazorla dives.

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Post by Trebs Fri Dec 14, 2012 11:23 pm

Damn, you're on to us.

In all seriousness, I thought we should hold onto McCormick for a couple of reasons. He has done his time, been in jail and is fully regretful of what happened and people change over time. He can be a role model for our club. Secondly, he is probably the best goalkeeper who would be willing to play at this level and brings a lot of experience from the football league.

As for the managerial issue, whenever managers are immediately changed as owners take over, it doesn't tend to work out especially if they are under-achieving. We wanted to give the manager time to see what he can achieve, but then if the success isn't coming then bring in someone fresh, as we highlighted before ideally someone who has coached at a high level and wants to prove themselves.

Not providing the costs was maybe an oversight on this task, but I did put a spending plan for the players which was my bit. It is very difficult to project figures in many years time, you can guess and maybe we should have done so.

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Post by sodhat Fri Dec 14, 2012 11:24 pm

Thank you Lord Azzy

Marky, wherever you may be, thank you to you too

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Post by Trebs Fri Dec 14, 2012 11:24 pm

Would it be possible to do the boardroom now? I'm not here at 1400, I'm off out in a bit till tonight?

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Post by Guest Fri Dec 14, 2012 11:25 pm

Trebs, 1400 is the time and place for your excuses. I'll be looking at what you and Gregers did and deciding whether either of you deserve to go through.

Well done Marky and Soddy though. I had you as winners on all four points OK

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Post by Guest Fri Dec 14, 2012 11:26 pm

Sorry Trebs, have a 1230 meeting to go to then a 1300 lunch date. Put all I need here and I'll decide based on that xxxxxxx

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Post by Trebs Fri Dec 14, 2012 11:26 pm

Will do OK

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Post by Guest Sat Dec 15, 2012 12:45 am

Gregers - you have until 1415 to tell me why you shouldn't be fired.

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Post by Guest Sat Dec 15, 2012 1:13 am

Nearly 1415, let's get cracking.

I've made my decision...

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Post by Guest Sat Dec 15, 2012 1:23 am

Hero is fired for not contributing to the task. Which is a real shame, because he's been a strong contender all throughout the process with some good ideas.

As for you Gregers...

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Post by Guest Sat Dec 15, 2012 1:25 am

You are in the final. Just. You've been quietly building a good rep in the Azzrentice, and the final will be your big chance to shine.

As for Trebs...

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Post by Trebs Sat Dec 15, 2012 1:41 am

Come on azzy i'm following on.my phone. the.suspense.is killing me.

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Post by Guest Sat Dec 15, 2012 2:18 am

My boss came in...but regretfully Trebs, you're fired. Most weeks you've made mistakes, and I think it's one too many this time. I love your passion for the game mate, it really stands out OK

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Post by Guest Sat Dec 15, 2012 2:25 am

Guys you've all been great in this first season of Azzrentice - thanks for all your efforts so far clap

The final, taking place in our first week back in January, will be:

Marky vs Soddy vs Gregers

And, as always, they will welcome back their former adversaries to assist them in their efforts The Azzrentice! Week 4 3559488474

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