The Azzrentice! Week 4

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Week 4

Myself and Lady Viva have this week won £100m on the Euromillions lottery. After much discussion, we have decided to keep £50m for personal use, and to use the remaining £50m for an exciting business opportunity.

We want to own our own football club, and take it to the Premier League. Your task is three-fold:

- Choose a current non-league team to takeover, giving consideration to the fans, the town, and the history of the club;
- Plot our future course - stadium improvements, fan buy-in, sponsorship deals, player purchases, promotion planning etc;
- Come up with a club ethos - how will our club be known around the world in its principles and style? Factor in expectation of the players, the media, playing and coaching styles etc

Remember to cost up all your parts of the submission so we know how you're spending our money.

I realise this could be a HUGE task, so I will take that into account if you don't write 6 pages of text.

The winner will be the team that comes up with the more exciting portfolio. From the losing team, one of you will be fired.

Team Scholes:
Hero - CAPTAIN - FIRED
Trebs - FIRED
Gregers - IN THE FINAL

Team Wilshere:
Soddy - CAPTAIN - IN THE FINAL
Marky - IN THE FINAL

Team Wilshere may choose to ask for help from either GSC or Afro, their choice (and if GSC/Afro wish to do so). The remaining person will be my assistant for the week.

Questions when you're ready

I won it once, back on 606v1. That's why I'm da boss

If you need a job Nando I think Trebs needs a full-time carer.

We've moved on from the 1980's Azzy

Im the future your the past time to let it go and let the big boys take charge

It's time to go to the retirement home where Viva will fit you into a diaper

Right, so you've not really clarified if I deserve to go based on this task, or generally throughout the whole process. Either way, it's a joke and I'll address both.

On this task alone, I contributed far more than either of my team members. Hero just left us to it, and obviously had to be fired. Twice, apparently.
Before I address the issues you raised, and I will cover those, I want to say something. It was me that got the ball rolling on this task. If it wasn't for me, then we wouldn't have had a submission. Wednesday night was when Gregers finally did something and made it available for me. He didn't do anything before that and a couple of times I said that I want to get something going. I planned this task, I took the reigns on it.

I asked Gregers for the information he said he had already done, which was a nice introduction but hardly anything which was going to win us the task. I replied with most of the ideas for the task, I suggested finding Cornish-based businesses such as Cornish Pasties and such. I also split the whole task into sections to ensure nothing was missed out of what was asked.

Gregers wanted a famous Cornish footballer to get behind the project, I went through all of the famous ones and the only one who was a household name was Nigel Martyn, which Gregers wanted to use. I then did the players, managers, ethos and a lot of the stuff which requires the thought. Gregers looked up the stadiums and how the plan would work for promotion. He did look at Cornish stadiums fair enough but the how we will rise up the leagues wasn't really amazing, just some alright work.

He then said that he thought we had a great submission. If he's read the submission, and there are truly massive flaws with my work then he should have spotted them there, he didn't bring them up. Which brings me onto the main points of why we lost this task.

The manager
"He will be given a chance for the first season at least. He has a wealth of experience in the football league and immediately changing the manager loses fans."
My words in the submission. You seem to think I would replace him after 4/5 games. I've stated above he'd have a season at least. I also said we'd give him a budget of £100,000. He can find new players there. That is a huge budget for a team in that sort of league. How is that not supporting him? I don't think you read my submission properly. I said we stand behind the manager unless he is doing a bad job then we have to get rid of him. Surely that's what any team would do?

Nigel Martyn
This was Gregers idea. Ask him. He merely asked for a famous Cornish footballer to get on board, the only one I'd heard of from a list of Cornish footballers I'd found was Nigel Martyn.

The transfers bit was fine
Good. I wrote it.

Luke McCormick
He made a mistake years ago. He served his time and if we can help him to become a better man then that is no bad thing. You get all sorts of role models in society who are ex-criminals who have changed their lives for the better. He is remorseful for his actions, as he has previously said and he deserves a second chance at life doing the thing he loves. You cannot discriminate against people purely for having a criminal record, in any case when they are looking for jobs. It's also worth noting that he's willing to play for free.

Entertaining football
Sorry, so does that mean every single team in the lower leagues play boring football? Maybe I should have said we'll just be boring and that would have gone down much better? It's not a very good reason. Teams sell tickets by being entertaining.

So, I have established that none of the points which you have made are particularly valid. I will now move onto the previous tasks:

The first task was a joke sort of task. Pretty much everyone who tried got through, I can't really comment on that, I'm not much of a comedian which I admitted but I am better in other areas. I didn't make any mistakes, but didn't do anything well either to be fair.

The second task I lead. And I lead it well in my opinion. I did good things, I listened to everyone's opinions but ultimately I was in charge so over-ruled where necessary but I took all of the viewpoints into account. I stood up for my colleague Olly until the bitter end against the dastardly Viva who tried at every turn to twist the screw into whoever he could, and he should have been fired in my opinion.

The third task was one which I took charge of for the second week, alongside Marky despite having half a team we still won it, we worked very well together and thought about everything.

This task I once again lead for the third week in a row and still maintain I got most things right, as previously explained.

To prove a point, I am willing to face the final alone, with no help from anyone to prove that I can work better than any other person in this process. They can have their teams of past players, four or however many each. I don't care, I will win alone.

Except you wont win alone, because you lost and were fired

Trebs, I'll take your points on a step-by-step basis (didn't see this over the weekend so apologies for the late reply):

"Right, so you've not really clarified if I deserve to go based on this task, or generally throughout the whole process."

It is a combination of the mistakes in this task, allied with those committed in previous tasks.

"On this task alone, I contributed far more than either of my team members. Hero just left us to it, and obviously had to be fired. Twice, apparently."

Hero was fired, the second time obviously a joke Trebs...

"Before I address the issues you raised, and I will cover those, I want to say something. It was me that got the ball rolling on this task. If it wasn't for me, then we wouldn't have had a submission. Wednesday night was when Gregers finally did something and made it available for me. He didn't do anything before that and a couple of times I said that I want to get something going. I planned this task, I took the reigns on it."

Which was part of what made it difficult, because you showed good commitment.

"I asked Gregers for the information he said he had already done, which was a nice introduction but hardly anything which was going to win us the task."

On the contrary, your intro was far better than theirs, I liked the logo touch too.

"I replied with most of the ideas for the task, I suggested finding Cornish-based businesses such as Cornish Pasties and such. I also split the whole task into sections to ensure nothing was missed out of what was asked."

I think you could have gone for 'bigger' sponsor myself, we're making this a big club so bigger companies would love to be involved in the project. The aim is to reach the Premier League, not make Cornwallites love us.

"Gregers wanted a famous Cornish footballer to get behind the project, I went through all of the famous ones and the only one who was a household name was Nigel Martyn, which Gregers wanted to use."

You told me that Nigel Martyn was your idea, and that Gregers typed it out. Matthew Etherington is a famous footballer from Cornwall, not available for obvious reasons. Tony Kellow might have been a better choice, if getting someone from Cornwall was that important, get someone beloved down there.

"I then did the players, managers, ethos and a lot of the stuff which requires the thought."

The players bit was fine. I wasn't happy with the managers bit, because it read like you would use the current manager to get to the big leagues, then replace him with Stuart Pearce (or equivalent). And the ethos was sketchy and not ideal for lower league football either - teams that try to play pretty football on a frozen pitch in February get beaten.

"Gregers looked up the stadiums and how the plan would work for promotion. He did look at Cornish stadiums fair enough but the how we will rise up the leagues wasn't really amazing, just some alright work."

The stadium bit was good, saved me money actually. Needed the finance on it obviously, but so did other parts of the submission.

And the rise up the leagues bit was on a par with the other team's bit.

"He then said that he thought we had a great submission. If he's read the submission, and there are truly massive flaws with my work then he should have spotted them there, he didn't bring them up."

Every single task this season has seen someone say this. He was being supportive, and why should he point out the deficiencies in your part if it'll help make him safe? I wouldn't have mentioned anything.

"You seem to think I would replace him after 4/5 games. I've stated above he'd have a season at least. I also said we'd give him a budget of £100,000. He can find new players there. That is a huge budget for a team in that sort of league. How is that not supporting him? I don't think you read my submission properly. I said we stand behind the manager unless he is doing a bad job then we have to get rid of him. Surely that's what any team would do?"

Detailed above.

"Nigel Martyn - this was Gregers idea. Ask him. He merely asked for a famous Cornish footballer to get on board, the only one I'd heard of from a list of Cornish footballers I'd found was Nigel Martyn."

Again, detailed above.

"The transfers bit was fine - Good. I wrote it." Indeed you did.


"Luke McCormick - he made a mistake years ago. He served his time and if we can help him to become a better man then that is no bad thing. You get all sorts of role models in society who are ex-criminals who have changed their lives for the better. He is remorseful for his actions, as he has previously said and he deserves a second chance at life doing the thing he loves. You cannot discriminate against people purely for having a criminal record, in any case when they are looking for jobs. It's also worth noting that he's willing to play for free."

I couldn't care less if he paid me £100m per day, I would not want him at my club. He's a disgrace to himself, his family and anyone who employs him, and no matter how sorry he is, he should never be forgiven. The family of those children hasn't forgiven him, how on earth can we?

I'm not running a recruitment campaign, he's not 'applying' for a job, so I absolutely CAN 'discriminate' against his criminal record.

"Entertaining football - sorry, so does that mean every single team in the lower leagues play boring football? Maybe I should have said we'll just be boring and that would have gone down much better? It's not a very good reason. Teams sell tickets by being entertaining."

I want promotion, and it's more likely if you play non-league style with better players than try to Barca your way through the leagues.

"So, I have established that none of the points which you have made are particularly valid."

Au contraire, I think you've clarified for all of us exactly why I was right to fire you.

"I will now move onto the previous tasks: The first task was a joke sort of task. Pretty much everyone who tried got through, I can't really comment on that, I'm not much of a comedian which I admitted but I am better in other areas. I didn't make any mistakes, but didn't do anything well either to be fair."

That was an opener to see who wanted to do it. It didn't really come into my thinking much.

"The second task I lead. And I lead it well in my opinion. I did good things, I listened to everyone's opinions but ultimately I was in charge so over-ruled where necessary but I took all of the viewpoints into account. I stood up for my colleague Olly until the bitter end against the dastardly Viva who tried at every turn to twist the screw into whoever he could, and he should have been fired in my opinion."

Olly did nothing that week, you made some mistakes, as did Viva. If I hadn't fired Olly it would have been you, so lcuky for you I did fire him.

"The third task was one which I took charge of for the second week, alongside Marky despite having half a team we still won it, we worked very well together and thought about everything."

You called me Sir Azzy in this one

This was a very close task, and you and Marky did well. Had it been 4-on-4, I might have chosen the other team instead though.

"This task I once again lead for the third week in a row and still maintain I got most things right, as previously explained."

Sorry, I disagree.

"To prove a point, I am willing to face the final alone, with no help from anyone to prove that I can work better than any other person in this process. They can have their teams of past players, four or however many each. I don't care, I will win alone."

You're fired Trebs. I aprpeciate you feel hard done by, but in light of the above, and the fact that others haven't made such mistakes, I had no choice.

You'll be a great asset to whoever picks you in the final.

Still love you

Hello,

I found the logo, and I know it was a joke you fired Hero twice.

Coca-Cola and the other massive companies won't sponsor a Blue Square league team. Nigel Martyn is the only Cornish footballer on the list I'd heard of. Tony Kellow's dead, so wouldn't have been a great choice. If a manager is losing games we should fire him, it's that simple.

However, there are two key points which I think you need to take a long hard look at:

1. I think you fired me purely because you massively disagree with me on the Luke McCormick issue. Had I not put McCormick in, I think it would have been different and I think that's down to personal taste. So that's unjust. Also, what are you meant to say to him when you come in?
'Sorry, you've been playing great for us, but you killed people years ago so we're getting rid of you'
Instead he's meant to go the rest of his life doing nothing? What use is that to anyone if he's never forgiven? You're blinded by your hatred of this guy.

2. If you see mistakes another member of the team has made, you should pick up on it. I have done since the start, I told Viva to change Torres's tactics as I was unhappy with them just to name one example off the top of my head. If you win the task you don't get fired. Playing a tactical game is no better. You think people should sneak around just looking out for themselves rather than the team's interests?

I disagree with quite a few other points, but I'll just stick to these two and leave it there.

Love you too x
But I don't think you're worthy of being called Sir Azzy anymore.

"Tony Kellow's dead, so wouldn't have been a great choice"

That was deliberate by the way, there literally is no-one besides NM and ME.

In response to your two points, 1) that was but one part of the reasoning, not the whole part. And you'd say 'I want you out of my club', asap. We're a club with a bright future, great prospects, and we employ a guy like that? I'd not want Jermain Defoe either, he went clubbing the night after his brother died. I don't want that kind of person at my club.

At the end of the day, we want to project a positive vibe from the club - there is nothing positive to come from McCormick. I don't want to go on about it, because it makes me sad

2) Yes I do, help your team to a certain extent, but if you want to win the Azzrentice you have to play the game. Viva tried and got fired

I haven't been Sir Azzy since 606v1, I'm Lord Azzy now

xx

Well you're just mr. azzy in my book now.

I won't continue to argue but i still believe you're wrong.

I understand Trebs. I have to fire two people in the final, imagine how much bickering that's going to generate.

Just fire the right people and it's fine.

Or do a task which is quantitative. then it's fact who wins.

I always fire the right person, it's all based on my interpretation of the tasks

It will be quantitative though, to a certain extent.

I'm beginning to question why I didn't run another Apprentice. I've made myself miss out on all this fun.

How different would your decisions have been afro?

Afro please take over, all these women do is cry when they're fired. Besides Viva, who is all man.

Azzy i wouldn't have cried if i deserved to be fired

Not hugely different to be honest Trebs.

It is tricky at this point and I think people should cut Azzy some slack. he is making his decisions honestly on what he sees, and how he judges things.

Anyone who puts effort in is unlucky to be fired. I appreciate everyone's contributions, and don't like it when people can't be bothered. It's not like the Azzrentice is a time-consuming task.

If I didn't fire Olly, I'd have been firing you or Viva. Both of you would have felt hard done by. If I'd not have fired Viva, someone else would have been aggrieved.

Sadly every week I have to disappoint someone. This week was your turn. After Christmas two people get to feel hard done by. At least Lord Sugar has £££ to go home to, I get online chastisement as my fallback

Viva had to be fired that week i thought.

But moving on....

Thanks Afro, you're a good man.

Olly blatantly deserved to be fired that week, he did NOTHING except agree with other people. All the good ideas came from you others.

Here we are, nearly a month later, still going on about it