Lions limericks

by AsLongAsBut100ofUs Wed 19 Jun 2013, 7:52 am

First topic message reminder :

As we wait anxiously for Thursday's announcement of the test 23, how about some Lions limericks to pass the time:

There once was a Lion called Halfpenny,
Whose kicks, he did not miss many,
His defense was robust,
He attacks if he must,
Under the high ball, he'll contest any.

Do your worst!

by GloriousEmpire Fri 21 Jun 2013, 5:38 pm

There once was a coach named Clive
Who Claimed he'd return with the prize
But on reaching down under
His plans came asunder
Despite taking every man, woman and child.

by Guest Fri 21 Jun 2013, 5:46 pm

There was once a poster called Grey Ghost
Who was banned from this site the most
Back as Glorious Empire
He refuses to tire
But soon he will once again be toast

by **Galted** Fri 21 Jun 2013, 5:49 pm

it's a bitch trying to rhyme words with "lions"
it would help if the squad had more Brians
it gives me the sh1ts
that they're Irish & Brits
I wish they were f*****g Hawaiians

by GloriousEmpire Fri 21 Jun 2013, 5:55 pm

A poster named Risca Rev
Grew an enormous head
Not able to moderate
He espoused random hate
At strangers on every thread

That poster named Risca rev
Not able to post in red
His suspicion did grate
Still he continued to skate
On thin ice, on Every thread

by GloriousEmpire Fri 21 Jun 2013, 6:12 pm

They claimed that Jonny was best
So he lined up in every test
So much faith shown by Clive
In 2005
They'll be quiet next time, I'd suggest

by furra_linee Fri 21 Jun 2013, 6:21 pm

For a certain musical prop,

Matt Stevens gambled with a plectrum;
Plumbed the sublime-ridiculous spectrum.
But he still made Gat's bus
With skills. Much to discuss
But less to be said for his septum.

by GloriousEmpire Fri 21 Jun 2013, 6:52 pm

They claim they are always the best
In press before the first test
But when history beckoned
They always come second
So why don't they give it a rest?

by Breadvan Fri 21 Jun 2013, 7:11 pm

The captaincy in 2005 BOD did deserve
He took the job on with the upmost verve
Mealamu and Umanga took exception
To give him a nasty reception
Promptly drove his poor body into the turf!

by Breadvan Fri 21 Jun 2013, 7:40 pm

A username by the name of Glorious
His opinions were often quite spurious
He claimed to be English
We all knew that was pure pish
Yet the posts he wrote were hilarious.

by IanBru Fri 21 Jun 2013, 8:47 pm

For Mr Dan Lydiate:

For the Dragons he looked like an elf
And had no silver cups on his shelf
But when he played for his nation,
He gained his reputation
While Jon Davies was touching himself.

by Breadvan Fri 21 Jun 2013, 9:12 pm

IanBru wrote:For Mr Dan Lydiate:

For the Dragons he looked like an elf
And had no silver cups on his shelf
But when he played for his nation,
He gained his reputation
While Jon Davies was touching himself.

by t1000advancedprototype Fri 21 Jun 2013, 9:17 pm

There once was a man called Quade
All fans were amazed how he played
He was in with a shout
But Deans left him out
& oh how the poor Oz team paid!

by kingraf Fri 21 Jun 2013, 9:46 pm

There once was a team Lions
Who were overly reliant on a fella named Brian.
They forgot he was old
Then got caught cold
And the Aussies beat them without tryin'!

by t1000advancedprototype Fri 21 Jun 2013, 10:12 pm

So far mine is the only one that rhymes AND has the correct amount of syllables.

Cmon it's not difficult!

by GavinDragon Fri 21 Jun 2013, 10:29 pm

There are men who will post on this forum,
Some have wives but they'd only bore'em,
But the lions they'll view,
With one beer or two,
and there will be sore heads in the morning

by hjumpshoe Sat 22 Jun 2013, 12:31 am

There once was an import called Warren
Who was spurned by a scotch lass called Lauren
So one jock he selected
who's a kiwi rejected
And he wipes his fat 4rse with a sporran

by Dim Sat 22 Jun 2013, 12:03 pm

Let's hope the series ain't marred,
By penalties within the five yard
Where referee Pollock
Loses his boll*cks
And forgets to reach for a card.

by wales606 Sat 22 Jun 2013, 12:04 pm

Dim wrote:Let's hope the series ain't marred,
By penalties within the five yard
Where referee Pollock
Loses his boll*cks
And forgets to reach for a card.

Nice

by Guest Sun 23 Jun 2013, 2:09 am

There once was a ref called Pollock
who dropped a bit of a bullock
Kept pinging one side
Lions wouldn't be denied
But Gatland didn't give him a rollock

by GloriousEmpire Sun 23 Jun 2013, 11:19 am

The Lions believed that their scrum
Would pave the way if they won
But as it came to pass
They ended up on their ass
Lucky for them Kurtley fell on his bum

by Welshheritage Sun 23 Jun 2013, 12:36 pm

The Australian test team's surreal
As a look at the squad will reveal
A foul stamper for skipper
A prop who's named Slipper
The real slipper's their kicker named Beale.

by t1000advancedprototype Sun 23 Jun 2013, 1:27 pm

There once was a man called Gatland.
Who won the first test.

by wales606 Sun 23 Jun 2013, 1:32 pm

Welshheritage wrote:The Australian test team's surreal
As a look at the squad will reveal
A foul stamper for skipper
A prop who's named Slipper
The real slipper's their kicker named Beale.

Great first post!

by Welshheritage Sun 23 Jun 2013, 6:14 pm

Thanks mate. In the days before iPads etc, I used to spend rainy days on cricket tour writing limericks about the other players. Great fun.

So Horwill's been cleared today
Not really surprising I'd say
With injuries such
It wouldn't take much
Before Kylie gets called up to play.

by Welshheritage Sun 23 Jun 2013, 8:07 pm

With hangovers surely now mended
A slender lead barely defended
If it hadn't been wet
Underfoot, then I'd bet
Kurtley's boot would have seen our dreams ended

by wales606 Sun 23 Jun 2013, 8:20 pm

Welshheritage wrote:With hangovers surely now mended
A slender lead barely defended
If it hadn't been wet
Underfoot, then I'd bet
Kurtley's boot would have seen our dreams ended

Last line needs work, I like it though thumbsup

by SecretFly Sun 23 Jun 2013, 10:58 pm

Cor Blimey, big POC is owth,
Now whose gonna scream and shout?
Gray is okay,
But hope it's not a cloudy day,
Or he won't be able to see his legs run about.

by Welshheritage Mon 24 Jun 2013, 8:11 am

Here is a short back-row quiz
How did Croft make the number 6 his?
And please tell me how
Our man Faletau
Is not picked when your man Heaslip is?

by Welshheritage Mon 24 Jun 2013, 8:21 am

Young Farrell had heard all the gags
Of how far behind Sexton he lags
The irony was
He was only in Oz
To give daddy a hand with his bags

by wales606 Mon 24 Jun 2013, 8:23 am

You're my new favourite poster

5 posts and only lyrical WUMs - it's a record!

by **LondonTiger** Mon 24 Jun 2013, 8:24 am

When Lions win it is luck,
Aussies lose, and then it is pluck,
We all scream and shout,
Stamp our feet and then pout,
At least we still give a f.......maybe not

by Welshheritage Tue 25 Jun 2013, 7:52 am

Kurtley's penchant for liquor is very
Well-known and he's frequently merry
No-one knows if its this
That caused him to miss
Or him copying kicks off John Terry.

by **LondonTiger** Tue 25 Jun 2013, 8:01 am

Two coaches called Rowntree and Farrell,
Chose Stevens, whose built like a barrel ,
Do not worry I say,
Bowe and Gray save the day,
Leaving English and Welsh to just quarrel.

by Welshheritage Tue 25 Jun 2013, 8:54 am

England's press seem to have a new darling
It's the giant lock "Beardy" Geoff Parling
Prince Charles isn't keen
And nor is the Queen
Am I confused with the other guy, Carling?

by doctor_grey Tue 25 Jun 2013, 8:56 am

Welshheritage wrote:England's press seem to have a new darling
It's the giant lock "Beardy" Geoff Parling
Prince Charles isn't keen
And nor is the Queen
Am I confused with the other guy, Carling?

Don't use foul language on here!

by Welshheritage Wed 26 Jun 2013, 1:32 pm

Mike Phillips, Ben Youngs, or choose Murray?
I reckon that Mike has to worry
He didn't look fit
His kicking was poor (ahem)
I reckon we pick Youngs in a hurry.

Has everyone stopped with these now? I joined up late.

by IanBru Wed 26 Jun 2013, 1:45 pm

No mate, keep it going - great stuff!

I'll be back with something this afternoon...

by Submachine Wed 26 Jun 2013, 2:43 pm

The six shirt was washed and is drying
On the wing worn by Croft it was flying
But now it's all change
And we don't need his range
This week it must go to O'Brien

by Dim Wed 26 Jun 2013, 4:25 pm

There was a Lions flanker named Tom,
But there's something we've known all along,
He thinks he's a back,
With an eye for a gap,
And forgets he's a part of the scrum.

by offload Wed 26 Jun 2013, 6:26 pm

Kurtley Beale has been out on the p*ss
Contemplating his last minute miss
It may not be cricket
To hope he can't kick it
But a test series win would be bliss

by **Galted** Wed 26 Jun 2013, 6:29 pm

offload wrote:Beale has been out on the p*ss
Remembering his last minute miss
It might not be cricket
To hope he can't kick it
But a test series win would be bliss

by AsLongAsBut100ofUs Wed 26 Jun 2013, 7:33 pm

There was a young flanker called Tom,
But there's something we've known all along,
FatMan thinks he'll cover lock,
But he's in for a shock,
However he does winger with aplomb

by offload Wed 26 Jun 2013, 10:01 pm

Stamping Horwill has ridden his luck
With Joubert will he come unstuck?
When the boots start flying
Near the ball, don't be lying
So stay on your feet at the... "RUCK"

by wales606 Wed 26 Jun 2013, 10:10 pm

"You've got to watch Genia" they say
Or simple play it your way
Against Green and Gold
You have to be bold
And win it before the last play.

by RubyGuby Wed 26 Jun 2013, 10:10 pm

The Aussies have all come unstuck
Resorting to stamps in the ruck
Amongst the confusion
Deans is under no illusion
That Quade just doesn't give a fxxk !

by Cyril Wed 26 Jun 2013, 10:14 pm

A burger at four in the morning
When really he should have been yawning
He might have given up drink
But his boot's on the blink
And he's bound to be getting a warning

by wales606 Wed 26 Jun 2013, 10:17 pm

You've got to keep hold of the ball,
Or win it at the ruck or the maul,
But right at the end,
A prayer you must send,
That their kicker will slip and will fall.

by offload Wed 26 Jun 2013, 10:38 pm

Possession will be key on the day
"Can't win without ball" so they say
If you play 'up n under'
You'll get stuffed, no wonder
So don't kick the damn thing away!

by Cyril Wed 26 Jun 2013, 10:41 pm

There was a young(ish) lad named Brian
Who now is a quadruple Lion
BOD is his name
He's already got fame
But don't let this be one to sigh on

by Cyril Wed 26 Jun 2013, 10:57 pm

As a spook that was grey he did post
And yet never did up the ghost
He posted on Lions
With each of his scions
But one day he may yet be toast

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