The Culture Cup round 6

First topic message reminder :

I said it would be Monday morning and, like my milkman, I always deliver.  So here is round 6 of quite possibly the most exciting tournament ever.  Before we move on to round 6 and the poll for 'The best song ever with 3 or more words in the title' lets have a look at what you could have won in round 5.

Round 5 saw the poll for 'Best piece of literature with a name in the title' and threw up some classic works of literature and no small measure of controversy with the 'missing' and 'reappearing' votes scandal throwing the integrity of the whole competition into doubt.  With the mystery still unsolved and the 'missing' votes no closer to being found, I have made the decision to move on, forget the past and continue the competition.  At least I am a man of extremely high integrity and moral fibre so we can proceed safe in the knowledge that the Culture Cup is still on the level.  I have my finest man (Wingrove) on the case to try and find out what happened but until then, lets move forward in peace.

Round 5 was an interesting one with the votes being split across the board resulting in many posters claiming a decent points haul.  Using my complicated results algorithm, you would have only needed to get 1 vote in this round to get 7 points.  Sot its bad luck to Union who received no votes, no points and has subsequently seen his already slim chance of winning almost certainly disappear for good.  What makes it worse it that he had some votes before 'votegate'.  Life can be so cruel.  Hero continues to be Mr Consistent and remains on top of the Christmas tree, just as a fairy should be.  Julius had a stunning reversal in fortune with his pick of Macbeth claiming top spot for this round.  A fair few posters picked up 10 points and at the half way point, the league is still within grasp for a fair few posters.  Here are the runners and riders;

Hero (A Streetcar Named Desire): (10) 46
compelling & rich (Schindler's List): (9): 42
seanmichaels (Oliver Twist): (9) 38
Adam (A Christmas Carol): (10) 37
Azzy (The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes): (10) 33
onlytreblewinners (Frankenstein): (10) 32
TopHat (Romeo and Juliet): (10) 32
Galted (The World According to Garp): (7) 30
The Womble (Matilda): (10) 31
Rowley (The Picture of Dorian Grey): (10) 29
superflyweight (The Great Gatsby): (9) 29
Dolphin (Winnie the Pooh): (9) 26
The Boss (Gulliver's Travels): (10) 26
bhb (Hamlet): (7) 25
ChequeredJersey (The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn): (8) 24
jbeadlesbigrighthand (Count of Monte Cristo): (8) 23
Julius ( Macbeth): (12) 22
Union (Horace) (0) 19

Round 7 is back to films and the question is this: Name the greatest film actor or actress born in the same year as you Best film originally released in the decade of your birth.  You can, of course, lie if you want to but I doubt any of you are that precious.  I will leave it up to your conscience but please PM a couple of choices.

Here is the poll for round 6 and remember, it is open for the whole forum to vote!

PLEASE ONLY VOTE FOR 2 NOMINATIONS  I don't think it will survive another voting scandal.

PLEASE SEE EDITED QUESTION FOR THE NEXT ROUND

I'm provisionally in love with this lady, she's not fat is she?  If she's thin and her fanny's velcroed together she'd be my ideal lady companion apart from Ryder.

Regarding the smoothies, they can't replace coffee but can replace the chewing of fruit which is a bit disgusting.

Galted wrote:I'm provisionally in love with this lady, she's not fat is she?  If she's thin and her fanny's velcroed together she'd be my ideal lady companion apart from Ryder.

She wasn't fat. Quite slender actually, probably due to all the walking, but I can't comment on her fanny. I didn't see it.

She had very short hair. Doesn't automatically mean she is a rug-muncher but something to keep in mind before you provisionally fall too deeply in love with her.

Might be to avoid getting brambles stuck in it when she sleeps rough, there's definitely potential there.

I'll stay provisionally smitten until her preferences are made clear. If you see her again tell her my gayness was just a phase (or sham) and that I'm over it.

Galted wrote:Might be to avoid getting brambles stuck in it when she sleeps rough, there's definitely potential there.

Good point.  Didn't think of that.  There is the difference between you and I.

Galted wrote:I'll stay provisionally smitten until her preferences are made clear.  If you see her again tell her my gayness was just a phase (or sham) and that I'm over it.

If I see her again I will try and get her number.  If she rejects me, at least it will answer any lingering doubts over her sexuality.

She sounds like a tree hugger and they smell of cabbage.

seanmichaels wrote:She sounds like a tree hugger and they smell of cabbage.

I imagine you smell of p*ss. We don't treat you any differently though.

Anyway, I don't think she was a 'tree hugger'. She was dressed perfectly normally under the practical coat and hiking shoes.

Maybe she's a sniper who makes a living shooting tree huggers.

Galted wrote:Maybe she's a sniper who makes a living shooting tree huggers.

Perhaps she is better suited to Wingrove then?

Possibly, though he prefers sagging Aussie skanks who've murdered and eaten their husbands/boyfriends/anyone.  He's pretty fussy is Wingrove.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

seanmichaels wrote:She sounds like a tree hugger and they smell of cabbage.

I imagine you smell of p*ss.  We don't treat you any differently though.

Anyway, I don't think she was a 'tree hugger'.  She was dressed perfectly normally under the practical coat and hiking shoes.

Why have you been imagining what I smell like?

seanmichaels wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

seanmichaels wrote:She sounds like a tree hugger and they smell of cabbage.

I imagine you smell of p*ss.  We don't treat you any differently though.

Anyway, I don't think she was a 'tree hugger'.  She was dressed perfectly normally under the practical coat and hiking shoes.

Why have you been imagining what I smell like?

Dunno. Just something I do.

You smell of p*ss, Galted smells of fresh trainer, Jeff smells of lard and Julius smells of dusty old books.

This may be of some interest to you as a coffee drinker, Tino, then again, as a b'stard, it may not.

I stopped drinking coffee for a few weeks in October and drank only tea, consuming up to 8 cups of green, camomile and peppermint tea a day. There is a rubbish bin situated about 4 metres away into which I fling the teabag. While not drinking coffee I'd quite often have runs of 14 or 15 successful flings into the bin.

Since I've started drinking coffee again I only have a maximum 4 cups of tea a day, and my success rate of getting the tea bag into the bin is down to about 2 in 5.

Do you think that this is because I'm a bit jumpier drinking coffee or because I have less practice flinging teabags as there are less teabags to fling?

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

seanmichaels wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

seanmichaels wrote:She sounds like a tree hugger and they smell of cabbage.

I imagine you smell of p*ss.  We don't treat you any differently though.

Anyway, I don't think she was a 'tree hugger'.  She was dressed perfectly normally under the practical coat and hiking shoes.

Why have you been imagining what I smell like?

Dunno.  Just something I do.

You smell of p*ss, Galted smells of fresh trainer, Jeff smells of lard and Julius smells of dusty old books.

It's true, I do.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

seanmichaels wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

seanmichaels wrote:She sounds like a tree hugger and they smell of cabbage.

I imagine you smell of p*ss.  We don't treat you any differently though.

Anyway, I don't think she was a 'tree hugger'.  She was dressed perfectly normally under the practical coat and hiking shoes.

Why have you been imagining what I smell like?

Dunno.  Just something I do.

You smell of p*ss, Galted smells of fresh trainer, Jeff smells of lard and Julius smells of dusty old books.

I think michaels smells of a combination of Stella, fenugreek and A&E wards.
Rowley smells of a farmyard on a wintry morning.
Julius smells of the Byzantine Empire
Don't really assoicate you with a smell, Tino.  Sorry.

Galted wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

seanmichaels wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

seanmichaels wrote:She sounds like a tree hugger and they smell of cabbage.

I imagine you smell of p*ss.  We don't treat you any differently though.

Anyway, I don't think she was a 'tree hugger'.  She was dressed perfectly normally under the practical coat and hiking shoes.

Why have you been imagining what I smell like?

Dunno.  Just something I do.

You smell of p*ss, Galted smells of fresh trainer, Jeff smells of lard and Julius smells of dusty old books.

I think michaels smells of a combination of Stella, fenugreek and A&E wards.
Rowley smells of a farmyard on a wintry morning.
Julius smells of the Byzantine Empire
Don't really assoicate you with a smell, Tino.  Sorry.

Funnily enough the Poudre De Colombo spice mix I rustled up last thursday had a heavy dose of fenugreek. I kept getting whiffs of it through Friday into Saturday. Not a big stella man though.

My oriental colleague consistently smells of ginger/garlic. Her clothes also sometimes smell of frying. It can be a bit of an abrasive experience first thing in the morning.

Galted wrote:This may be of some interest to you as a coffee drinker, Tino, then again, as a b'stard, it may not.

I stopped drinking coffee for a few weeks in October and drank only tea, consuming up to 8 cups of green, camomile and peppermint tea a day.  There is a rubbish bin situated about 4 metres away into which I fling the teabag.  While not drinking coffee I'd quite often have runs of 14 or 15 successful flings into the bin.

Since I've started drinking coffee again I only have a maximum 4 cups of tea a day, and my success rate of getting the tea bag into the bin is down to about 2 in 5.

Do you think that this is because I'm a bit jumpier drinking coffee or because I have less practice flinging teabags as there are less teabags to fling?

Interesting. I would say the main reason is the lack of practice. If you were an air traffic controller or something then I would say the stress, coupled with the jumpiness would be a factor, but I don't think just flinging tea-bags by themselves is stressful enough to be effected by your coffee intake. You just need to do a few days of controlled experiments where you go back to consuming up to 8 cups of various teas again. I am willing to bet your accuracy increases.

I would offer to do the same experiment but we have gone all 'green' here and don't have rubbish bins anywhere near our desks. We have to walk to the kitchen and recycle things in the correct bin. I can't be bothered to keep walking up there and testing it out.

One question, does the wall next to the bin have splash marks all over it?

Don't have to worry about the wall getting splashmarks, there are a couple of piles of laptops protecting it.

Not entirely true to say there's no stress involved throwing teabags, my colleagues notice my unerring accuracy from time to time and pile great mental pressure on me to miss.

Galted wrote:
Not entirely true to say there's no stress involved throwing teabags, my colleagues notice my unerring accuracy from time to time and pile great mental pressure on me to miss.

Rock and roll.

Galted wrote:Julius smells of the Byzantine Empire

That's because I wear Byzantine Empire by Paco Rabanne

Galted wrote:Don't have to worry about the wall getting splashmarks, there are a couple of piles of laptops protecting it.

 

I see Tom Daley has come out. Reckons he still fancies women though so it could just be a Glated phase.

seanmichaels wrote:I see Tom Daley has come out. Reckons he still fancies women though so it could just be a Glated phase.

I like Glated. He fancies me.

Galted calls me a b'stard and gets all passive aggressive.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

seanmichaels wrote:I see Tom Daley has come out. Reckons he still fancies women though so it could just be a Glated phase.

I like Glated.  He fancies me.

Galted calls me a b'stard and gets all passive aggressive.  

I'd quite happily be a wooftie if there was no physical contact and he liked sport / fine turf care. I don't really like farting either, and he'd have to be tidy.

seanmichaels wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

seanmichaels wrote:I see Tom Daley has come out. Reckons he still fancies women though so it could just be a Glated phase.

I like Glated.  He fancies me.

Galted calls me a b'stard and gets all passive aggressive.  

I'd quite happily be a wooftie if there was no physical contact and he liked sport / fine turf care. I don't really like farting either, and he'd have to be tidy.

So basically you just want a male companion who shares your interests.

Is it farting in general or females farting that you have a big issue with?

Glayted is an anagram of T G Daley. Anyone know Tom Daley's middle name?

Bob.

Sarah

I just made my first ever contribution to the boxing forum but it's been shot down in flames.

Galted wrote:I just made my first ever contribution to the boxing forum but it's been shot down in flames.

They can be rough on there. It was a valid post. Don't be despondent.

Cheers, Tino. I feel a little bit brutalised.

Greggs at lunch. Sausage roll, surprisingly good. Pepperoni pizza slice, not surprisingly bad.

Two ham and cheese rolls. Brought in from home. In a plastic bag from Asda.

Packet of salt and vinegar crisps, a braeburn apple and a conference pear. Also had 3 or 4 chunks of Toblerone that someone brought back from holiday.

Galted wrote:I just made my first ever contribution to the boxing forum but it's been shot down in flames.

Come along to the tennis section. I'm sure you'll be made most welcome.

JuliusHMarx wrote:

Galted wrote:I just made my first ever contribution to the boxing forum but it's been shot down in flames.

Come along to the tennis section. I'm sure you'll be made most welcome.

Cheers, Julius, though I do have a suspicion that this is a bit of Byzantine chicanery, I've heard rumours of the vicious fighting that's gone on there.

Galted wrote:

JuliusHMarx wrote:

Galted wrote:I just made my first ever contribution to the boxing forum but it's been shot down in flames.

Come along to the tennis section. I'm sure you'll be made most welcome.

Cheers, Julius, though I do have a suspicion that this is a bit of Byzantine chicanery, I've heard rumours of the vicious fighting that's gone on there.

That's all in the past Galted. We're all so much more mature now.

You need to look after this thread a bit better, Tino, it's so close to 1000 posts and you seem to have lost interest.

Galted wrote:You need to look after this thread a bit better, Tino, it's so close to 1000 posts and you seem to have lost interest.

The issue I have is that when it gets there, it gets split off into separate threads and that will leave me with a desperately empty feeling. I am not sure I am strong enough to cope with it.

I was upset enough when the Reykjavik thread got split off and that wasn't even mine.

It was hugely anticlimactic, a bit like the millennium bug and that Austrian not plummeting to his death from outer space.

I'm searching for some words of inspiration but they're not forthcoming so here are some of my favourite forms of precipitation:
rain
fog
hail
etc

What did you have for breakfast? That should generate a bit of interest.

A quarter of a smoothie, muesli, one of those bacteria-filled yoghurts and a couple of cup of coffee.

How's your smoothie adventure going?

Galted wrote:A quarter of a smoothie, muesli, one of those bacteria-filled yoghurts and a couple of cup of coffee.

How's your smoothie adventure going?

It's not really. I did enjoy the one I had but Mrs Windows wasn't impressed that I took it without asking. They are 'hers' apparently.

I do need to go to Tesco tonight so I am going to buy a pack of my own and really commit myself to the smoothie world.

I had a Nature Valley Canadian maple syrup breakfast bar and a banana.

I think you want to take your little Ukrainian chum home for dinner a couple of times a week to drive some sense into Mrs Windows.

I'd recommend buying the 750ml carton, takes me four mornings to finish one and they're cheaper in the long run than the smaller bottles (I assume, haven't actually checked how much the smaller ones are). Don't pay more than £2 per carton though, if they're more than that a consumer boycott is normally generated automatically and they come down in price soon enough.

Not too familiar with Nature Valley Canadian maple syrup breakfast bars though I am familiar with bananas, they make my throat itch so I consume them in smoothie form.

I have decided she is a lesbian.

I was planning on buying the smaller ones as I can bring them to work with me and leave them in the fridge. One a morning will be a terrific reward for making it into work safely everyday.

I don't actually think the Nature Valley bars are all that good for you. They taste alright though, apart from the ginger one that taste like sh*t. Sh*t laced with ginger, but sh*t nonetheless.

I could, of course, bring a big carton in and leave it in the fridge but I fear people in the office will start taking swigs out of it due to curiosity. We have never had a carton of smoothie our office fridge before. At least I can monitor small cartons easier.

If you're planning on leaving them in the fridge at work the carton may be a better bet as it's less likely to be stolen/accidentally taken as it'll be open.

I saw your last post making this one look a bit stupid but it took so long to type this one out I'm going ahead with it.

On the subject of food, I finally managed to pull my wisdom tooth out after a few days of vigorously wobbling it. For the cost of 4 cans of cider (£2.69) and a bottle of red wine (£4.99), I managed to do exactly what the dentist was going to charge £150 for.

seanmichaels wrote:On the subject of food, I finally managed to pull my wisdom tooth out after a few days of vigorously wobbling it. For the cost of 4 cans of cider (£2.69) and a bottle of red wine (£4.99), I managed to do exactly what the dentist was going to charge £150 for.

My wisdom teeth have never come through. I have good teeth though. No fillings and the dentist told me I have excellent enamel that keep 'em strong.

Drink far too much coffee though so I have to work hard to keep them white.

This one broke about 4 years ago. Has been driving me mad ever since. Now I've had everything done I have a deep clean and whitening booked. I'll be smiling like Joey Essex this time next friday

seanmichaels wrote:This one broke about 4 years ago. Has been driving me mad ever since. Now I've had everything done I have a deep clean and whitening booked. I'll be smiling like Joey Essex this time next friday

I'll have to get Catweazle out of my mind and get an up to date mental image for you.

Had just about run out of cereal so had to venture down to the in-house deli. A portion of mushrooms, 2 fried eggs and 2 soggy hash browns for £3.05, f*****g laughable.

I'm now simmering at my desk. Feel a bit nauseous but a peppermint tea should soon put that right.

£3.05 my a*se.