The Culture Cup round 6

First topic message reminder :

I said it would be Monday morning and, like my milkman, I always deliver.  So here is round 6 of quite possibly the most exciting tournament ever.  Before we move on to round 6 and the poll for 'The best song ever with 3 or more words in the title' lets have a look at what you could have won in round 5.

Round 5 saw the poll for 'Best piece of literature with a name in the title' and threw up some classic works of literature and no small measure of controversy with the 'missing' and 'reappearing' votes scandal throwing the integrity of the whole competition into doubt.  With the mystery still unsolved and the 'missing' votes no closer to being found, I have made the decision to move on, forget the past and continue the competition.  At least I am a man of extremely high integrity and moral fibre so we can proceed safe in the knowledge that the Culture Cup is still on the level.  I have my finest man (Wingrove) on the case to try and find out what happened but until then, lets move forward in peace.

Round 5 was an interesting one with the votes being split across the board resulting in many posters claiming a decent points haul.  Using my complicated results algorithm, you would have only needed to get 1 vote in this round to get 7 points.  Sot its bad luck to Union who received no votes, no points and has subsequently seen his already slim chance of winning almost certainly disappear for good.  What makes it worse it that he had some votes before 'votegate'.  Life can be so cruel.  Hero continues to be Mr Consistent and remains on top of the Christmas tree, just as a fairy should be.  Julius had a stunning reversal in fortune with his pick of Macbeth claiming top spot for this round.  A fair few posters picked up 10 points and at the half way point, the league is still within grasp for a fair few posters.  Here are the runners and riders;

Hero (A Streetcar Named Desire): (10) 46
compelling & rich (Schindler's List): (9): 42
seanmichaels (Oliver Twist): (9) 38
Adam (A Christmas Carol): (10) 37
Azzy (The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes): (10) 33
onlytreblewinners (Frankenstein): (10) 32
TopHat (Romeo and Juliet): (10) 32
Galted (The World According to Garp): (7) 30
The Womble (Matilda): (10) 31
Rowley (The Picture of Dorian Grey): (10) 29
superflyweight (The Great Gatsby): (9) 29
Dolphin (Winnie the Pooh): (9) 26
The Boss (Gulliver's Travels): (10) 26
bhb (Hamlet): (7) 25
ChequeredJersey (The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn): (8) 24
jbeadlesbigrighthand (Count of Monte Cristo): (8) 23
Julius ( Macbeth): (12) 22
Union (Horace) (0) 19

Round 7 is back to films and the question is this: Name the greatest film actor or actress born in the same year as you Best film originally released in the decade of your birth.  You can, of course, lie if you want to but I doubt any of you are that precious.  I will leave it up to your conscience but please PM a couple of choices.

Here is the poll for round 6 and remember, it is open for the whole forum to vote!

PLEASE ONLY VOTE FOR 2 NOMINATIONS  I don't think it will survive another voting scandal.

PLEASE SEE EDITED QUESTION FOR THE NEXT ROUND

Galted wrote:
£3.05 my a*se.

Not sure anyone will give you that to be honest Galted.

I was offering the £3.05.

Galted wrote:I was offering the £3.05.

I don't think that's enough either

Tend to agree Jules, decimal point would have to disappear before even the truly desperate would consider it.

Sod both of you then. Don't know why I bother wiping it every other go and washing it on Saturday mornings.

Galted wrote:Had just about run out of cereal so had to venture down to the in-house deli.  A portion of mushrooms, 2 fried eggs and 2 soggy hash browns for £3.05, f*****g laughable.

I'm now simmering at my desk.  Feel a bit nauseous but a peppermint tea should soon put that right.

£3.05 my a*se.

mushrooms eggs and hashbrowns? Why no meat, you some kind of vegetarian pu$$y??

TopHat24/7 wrote:

Galted wrote:Had just about run out of cereal so had to venture down to the in-house deli.  A portion of mushrooms, 2 fried eggs and 2 soggy hash browns for £3.05, f*****g laughable.

I'm now simmering at my desk.  Feel a bit nauseous but a peppermint tea should soon put that right.

£3.05 my a*se.

mushrooms eggs and hashbrowns? Why no meat, you some kind of vegetarian pu$$y??

To be fair top hat, given your girth not sure somebody elses diet is a glass house you want to throw too many stones in.

Rowley wrote:

TopHat24/7 wrote:

Galted wrote:Had just about run out of cereal so had to venture down to the in-house deli.  A portion of mushrooms, 2 fried eggs and 2 soggy hash browns for £3.05, f*****g laughable.

I'm now simmering at my desk.  Feel a bit nauseous but a peppermint tea should soon put that right.

£3.05 my a*se.

mushrooms eggs and hashbrowns? Why no meat, you some kind of vegetarian pu$$y??

To be fair top hat, given your girth not sure somebody elses diet is a glass house you want to throw too many stones in.

Your missus should be keeping that to herself.....

Would she be able to even see it under your gut?

I want to know more about Galted's dates.....

I don't think 'seeing' it is the part you've to worry about Rowls.....

Not much of interest to report, michaels, didn't get her into the sack but didn't get slapped or told to stop following her either so it was a moderate success.

Galted wrote:Not much of interest to report, michaels, didn't get her into the sack but didn't get slapped or told to stop following her either so it was a moderate success.

Have you used the internet? I went on a couple of dates back in the day after signing up to match.com . More of a laugh than anything. Both times I had a Brent-style 'Oh for f### sakes' when they turned up 5 stone heavier than their picture. Still did one though.

seanmichaels wrote:

Galted wrote:Not much of interest to report, michaels, didn't get her into the sack but didn't get slapped or told to stop following her either so it was a moderate success.

Have you used the internet? I went on a couple of dates back in the day after signing up to match.com . More of a laugh than anything. Both times I had a Brent-style 'Oh for f### sakes' when they turned up 5 stone heavier than their picture. Still did one though.

 

Was on one of those sites for a while at the end of last year into the beginning of this year. Went out with a few - the quality wasn't bad but just turned out to be pleasant evenings and a polite text or mail the next day instead of hitting it off.

Had a non-stop week-long texting session with one, they'd go on until about 2 in the morning which was annoying as I get up about 5.  She was pretty fit from the photos but insisted on seeing a second photo of me before we went out as the only one she'd seen was me in the distance in b&w.  She massively lost interest when I finally sent her a clear one in colour.

Women are so shallow....

seanmichaels wrote:Women are so shallow....

Bit rich coming from you Sean, I have stood in puddles with more depth than you.

Rowley wrote:

seanmichaels wrote:Women are so shallow....

Bit rich coming from you Sean, I have stood in puddles with more depth than you.

You are very defensive of the lesser half. You've obviously never been wronged.

seanmichaels wrote:Women are so shallow....

Fickle as well. My only criterion is that they can't be fat which I think is fair enough, pretty much anything else goes.

Galted wrote:

seanmichaels wrote:Women are so shallow....

Fickle as well.  My only criterion is that they can't be fat which I think is fair enough, pretty much anything else goes.

Not a fan of a little extra cushion for the pushin'??

A little extra is tolerable but I draw the line way before gunt level.

seanmichaels wrote:I want to know more about Galted's dates.....

The only dates Galted knows about are the ones that get chopped into his granola.

Et tu, Julius?

Galted wrote:Et tu, Julius?

I'm too old to go on dates. I have 'business transactions'.

I meant it more in an "et tu, Brute?" context but your response deserves an "".

That's just given me an idea for the willy icon.

""

I don't mind big women. They were great for when I couldn't afford to have the heating on. One random was however probably a step too far, she was so big I couldn't see the telly next to my bed.

Tino's been a bit quiet today. I hope he's not dead.

Galted wrote:Tino's been a bit quiet today.  I hope he's not dead.

Probably nursing another shoeing from one of his kids.

Went northern again at lunch. Chips and curry sauce from the local chippy. Dirty old place it was.

KFC's as northern as I go. Used to get a chicken and mushroom pie and chips occasionally but last time the whole effort was so soggy I think it would've been classed as "gravy" up north.

Galted wrote:KFC's as northern as I go.  Used to get a chicken and mushroom pie and chips occasionally but last time the whole effort was so soggy I think it would've been classed as "gravy" up north.

Jeff may be able to confirm whether this is widespread throughout Yorkshire, but my abiding memory of growing up there was the sunday roast at either my Gran's or my Uncles. The starter would be a giant Yorkshire pudding served with onion gravy. The main would be roast beef with Yorkshire puddings. The desert would be Yorkshire puddings with either lemon curd or jam.

seanmichaels wrote:

Galted wrote:KFC's as northern as I go.  Used to get a chicken and mushroom pie and chips occasionally but last time the whole effort was so soggy I think it would've been classed as "gravy" up north.

Jeff may be able to confirm whether this is widespread throughout Yorkshire, but my abiding memory of growing up there was the sunday roast at either my Gran's or my Uncles. The starter would be a giant Yorkshire pudding served with onion gravy. The main would be roast beef with Yorkshire puddings. The desert would be Yorkshire puddings with either lemon curd or jam.

THANK YOU!!

One of the things that really pees me off is that, as I love eating Yorkshires with almost any sunday dinner type accompaniment, it really narks me that people go "eww, no, that's wrong, that's not proper, you're only allowed to eat Yorkshires with beef, that's the tradition".

No, it is not. Yorkshires were born out of the need to have a big filling cheap 'starter' so that the expensive bit (beef joint) could be spread as far as possible. So the 'traditional' way to eat Yorkshires is as a starter with gravy and now't else. Anyone who has them with their main meal is already breaking tradition therefore can stuff it up their jacksies if they don't think they should be eaten with chicken, lamb, ham etc.

My wife's family are from Lancashire and treat Yorkshire puddings as garnish in the same way I treat salad...which is awkward when I have a salad.

Lettuce leaves on my plate are about as close to the countryside as I like to get despite living in perhaps THE most beautiful part of England which is essentially the most beautiful place on Earth by extension (BTW I'm referring to the Yorrkshire Dales as opposed to Bradford)

Glad you clarifed Dave, as you know I will defend Yorkshire to the hilt but even I would have had to leave you to fight your corner alone were you arguing Bradford was the most beautiful place on earth.

Saw a couple of very funny Christmas/Birthday cards in Scribbler in Cambridge yesterday.

They had legitimate dictionary definitions of the South and North and various nouns and abbreviations etc etc

Then it said;

Southerner (south•ern•er): Talk sh!te, likely to start fights they can’t finish and drink like f*cking fairies.

The Northern version simply said:

Northerner (north•ern•er): Likely to p!ss in your sink.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:Saw a couple of very funny Christmas/Birthday cards in Scribbler in Cambridge yesterday.

They had legitimate dictionary definitions of the South and North and various nouns and abbreviations etc etc

Then it said;

Southerner (south•ern•er): Talk sh!te, likely to start fights they can’t finish and drink like f*cking fairies.

The Northern version simply said:

Northerner (north•ern•er): Likely to p!ss in your sink.

Quite intriguing, I'm not averse to urinating in sinks when north of London.  When I lived in Birmingham in the 90s the bathroom and bedroom of my flat were separated from the lounge/kitchen area by a shared landing so when I was on a bender I'd live in the lounge (as it had a gas heater) and use the kitchen sink as a urinal, I lived on chicken kebabs so I didn't ever cook.  When I did a clean-up before I left the sink had more pubes than a public bog.  I blamed my wayward thinking on the fact that I hadn't heard of Gore-Tex back then and wore Docs instead of Hi-Tecs, didn't know that I could use being in the north as an excuse.  I'd really hate to think what I'd have used sinks for if I'd been in the proper north instead of the midlands.

Welcome back, by the way, Tino.  The place pretty much fell apart yesterday.  Have to admit that you're the sh1t that holds the 606 v2 dingleberry together.

Galted wrote:Welcome back, by the way, Tino.  The place pretty much fell apart yesterday.  Have to admit that you're the sh1t that holds the 606 v2 dingleberry together.

You're too kind. I read some of the shizzle that was going down yesterday whilst pretending to the wife that I was working. I particularly enjoyed your discussion with DAVE about the different stages of your ringpiece.

Thought I was being quite clever with the use of keyboard characters then the 667Killer blew my effort right out of the water.

Galted wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:Saw a couple of very funny Christmas/Birthday cards in Scribbler in Cambridge yesterday.

They had legitimate dictionary definitions of the South and North and various nouns and abbreviations etc etc

Then it said;

Southerner (south•ern•er): Talk sh!te, likely to start fights they can’t finish and drink like f*cking fairies.

The Northern version simply said:

Northerner (north•ern•er): Likely to p!ss in your sink.

Quite intriguing, I'm not averse to urinating in sinks when north of London.  When I lived in Birmingham in the 90s the bathroom and bedroom of my flat were separated from the lounge/kitchen area by a shared landing so when I was on a bender I'd live in the lounge (as it had a gas heater) and use the kitchen sink as a urinal, I lived on chicken kebabs so I didn't ever cook.  When I did a clean-up before I left the sink had more pubes than a public bog.  I blamed my wayward thinking on the fact that I hadn't heard of Gore-Tex back then and wore Docs instead of Hi-Tecs, didn't know that I could use being in the north as an excuse.  I'd really hate to think what I'd have used sinks for if I'd been in the proper north instead of the midlands.

I did p*ss in the sink a few times when I was younger. I even did it on Christmas day. Must have been around 1997 or something like that. Went out in Runcorn for Christmas eve. That was my first mistake. Second one was drinking so much I could barely stand. Third one was trying to sneak back in the house and realising I wasn't going to make it up stairs so I p*ssed in the kitchen sink. Mum walked down just as I had finished and caught me hooking my leg back down from the sink unit. To this day we don't talk about it, but I am convinced she thinks I was w*nking in the sink.

 

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