The Culture Cup Round x - Adam is a naughty naughty boy

First topic message reminder :

kingraf wrote:I watched it. It buffered every five seconds due to the awful Internet reception on the farm... I can't decide whether that made it better or worse like. Was awful nonetheless

Wrong thread.

Speaking of SA, going there with Galtova in February.
Return from London to Joburg = £600
Return from Joburg to Phalaborwa (a 1-hour flight) = £265

What a phucking rip-off. Might be forced to shoot a few rhinos.

rick_dagless wrote:

sean wrote:You have just described one of my best mates who is a saffa. He's just returned home after 7 years. Got a whatsapp from him yesterday saying he likes to check in to BBC to see how sh!t the weather is here.

Did you reply by stating you like to log in to google earth to see how sh!t the shanty towns are there?

It is a group whatsapp (so not my words as such) but I think the reply was something along the lines of hurry up and catch aids....

Phalaborwa is middle of nowhere... you're lucky they even have an airport. You're going to get killed and thrown into the open pit, never to be found

Aids is a poor persons problem, also genetic, much like baldness and necrophilia.

kingraf wrote:Phalaborwa is middle of nowhere... you're lucky they even have an airport. You're going to get killed and thrown into the open pit, never to be found

You reckon?

Galted has many pockets on his cargo shorts. Each one of those pockets has an implement for surviving in the wild. He's a forager.

Bear Grylls
Steve Backshall
Ray Mears Galted

All legends of the wild.

Yeah, he's probably gonna die. Need more than pockets to survive small town South Africa. A gun, some luck and the ability to negotiate on the spot.

AIDS genetic? That's a new one!

kingraf wrote:Yeah, he's probably gonna die. Need more than pockets to survive small town South Africa. A gun, some luck and the ability to negotiate on the spot.

Cargo shorts! Galted wears cargo shorts!

And sandals!

And Gore-Tex! F*cking Gore-Tex! That is basically bullet proof.

He's got nothing to fear.

Tino wrote:He's got nothing to fear.

Apart from the AIDS

rick_dagless wrote:

Tino wrote:He's got nothing to fear.

Apart from the AIDS

You can only get the AIDS if you are gay.

Or are prone to cheap prostitutes

So we are still talking about Glated then.

A couple of the cricket guys dabble in women of the night. i didn't realise how easy it was to get one. bit pricey though and not many do 5 min rates

seanmichaels wrote:A couple of the cricket guys dabble in women of the night. i didn't realise how easy it was to get one. bit pricey though and not many do 5 min rates

It's on my list of 1001 things you must do before you die, but I also have 1001 books to read, 1001 films to watch, 1001 albums to hear, 1001 paintings to see and 1001 places to visit, so I'm quite busy.

JuliusHMarx wrote:

seanmichaels wrote:A couple of the cricket guys dabble in women of the night. i didn't realise how easy it was to get one. bit pricey though and not many do 5 min rates

It's on my list of 1001 things you must do before you die, but I also have 1001 books to read, 1001 films to watch, 1001 albums to hear, 1001 paintings to see and 1001 places to visit, so I'm quite busy.

You're very near the top of my 1001 people I want to meet list.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

JuliusHMarx wrote:

seanmichaels wrote:A couple of the cricket guys dabble in women of the night. i didn't realise how easy it was to get one. bit pricey though and not many do 5 min rates

It's on my list of 1001 things you must do before you die, but I also have 1001 books to read, 1001 films to watch, 1001 albums to hear, 1001 paintings to see and 1001 places to visit, so I'm quite busy.

You're very near the top of my 1001 people I want to meet list.

I'm thinking about having a 50th birthday party later in the year. You're all invited.

JuliusHMarx wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

JuliusHMarx wrote:

seanmichaels wrote:A couple of the cricket guys dabble in women of the night. i didn't realise how easy it was to get one. bit pricey though and not many do 5 min rates

It's on my list of 1001 things you must do before you die, but I also have 1001 books to read, 1001 films to watch, 1001 albums to hear, 1001 paintings to see and 1001 places to visit, so I'm quite busy.

You're very near the top of my 1001 people I want to meet list.

I'm thinking about having a 50th birthday party later in the year. You're all invited.

Can we come in fancy dress?

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

kingraf wrote:Yeah, he's probably gonna die. Need more than pockets to survive small town South Africa. A gun, some luck and the ability to negotiate on the spot.

Cargo shorts! Galted wears cargo shorts!

And sandals!

And Gore-Tex! F*cking Gore-Tex! That is basically bullet proof.

He's got nothing to fear.

You phucking tell them, Tino. As a token of appreciation I will devote much of my holiday to the study of arthropods.

Ps - I don't wear cargo shorts. I do have some sandals, which I bought in Houston. Can't wait to give them a go.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

JuliusHMarx wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

JuliusHMarx wrote:

seanmichaels wrote:A couple of the cricket guys dabble in women of the night. i didn't realise how easy it was to get one. bit pricey though and not many do 5 min rates

It's on my list of 1001 things you must do before you die, but I also have 1001 books to read, 1001 films to watch, 1001 albums to hear, 1001 paintings to see and 1001 places to visit, so I'm quite busy.

You're very near the top of my 1001 people I want to meet list.

I'm thinking about having a 50th birthday party later in the year. You're all invited.

Can we come in fancy dress?

Depends - do you want to embarrass yourself?

Galted wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

kingraf wrote:Yeah, he's probably gonna die. Need more than pockets to survive small town South Africa. A gun, some luck and the ability to negotiate on the spot.

Cargo shorts!  Galted wears cargo shorts!  

And sandals!

And Gore-Tex!  F*cking Gore-Tex!  That is basically bullet proof.  

He's got nothing to fear.

As a token of appreciation I will devote much of my holiday to the study of arthropods.

I would love that. You can PM me with your findings when you return.

Or better still, do it on the main board so everyone else can join in.

Can I have some pictures of Galtova in a bikini on the beach?

I come to all fancy dress parties dressed as Tarzan.

JuliusHMarx wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

JuliusHMarx wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

JuliusHMarx wrote:

seanmichaels wrote:A couple of the cricket guys dabble in women of the night. i didn't realise how easy it was to get one. bit pricey though and not many do 5 min rates

It's on my list of 1001 things you must do before you die, but I also have 1001 books to read, 1001 films to watch, 1001 albums to hear, 1001 paintings to see and 1001 places to visit, so I'm quite busy.

You're very near the top of my 1001 people I want to meet list.

I'm thinking about having a 50th birthday party later in the year. You're all invited.

Can we come in fancy dress?

Depends - do you want to embarrass yourself?

I'd embarrass myself if I met you anyway. I'd get all nervous and mumble my words.

That's what happens when I meet my heroes. I took two of the kids to see Steve Backshall at a book signing once. I got all nervous the shorter the queue got and started sweating.

I don't even like him as much as I like you.

JuliusHMarx wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

JuliusHMarx wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

JuliusHMarx wrote:

seanmichaels wrote:A couple of the cricket guys dabble in women of the night. i didn't realise how easy it was to get one. bit pricey though and not many do 5 min rates

It's on my list of 1001 things you must do before you die, but I also have 1001 books to read, 1001 films to watch, 1001 albums to hear, 1001 paintings to see and 1001 places to visit, so I'm quite busy.

You're very near the top of my 1001 people I want to meet list.

I'm thinking about having a 50th birthday party later in the year. You're all invited.

Can we come in fancy dress?

Depends - do you want to embarrass yourself?

I'll come as Count Dracula... or Steve Irwin. Haven't decided which one yet. Definitely not Bindi though.

I had a friend who rocked up to a pirates and prozzies party dressed as a Somalian...

It went down a storm.

That is good. How does one dress Somalian, though? Some rags and shave some hair to create the illusion of a large forehead?

You'd have to 'black up' but apparently it is not that PC anymore.

Raf wrote:That is good. How does one dress Somalian, though? Some rags and shave some hair to create the illusion of a large forehead?

Pretty much, toy AK47 over the shoulder etc Maybe a grenade belt...

Somalian aren't really black though. They get quite offended at the term. They are bloody Arabs..

Never been to Somalia. Always wanted to go, but much like Sudan I can't go anywhere inherently violent where I can't blend in.

Mo Farah? He's a proper malteser head.

Liam Williams (Wales Rugby international) recently blacked up for a fancy dress party and got in trouble.

Where does Julius live? Is it Hampton on the Thames?

Maybe come as ourselves to avoid any confusion. Would be a great party.

When are you sending out the invitations, Julius?
Need to know roughly... so I can dust off the canoe and plan the route.

Adam D wrote:Liam Williams (Wales Rugby international) recently blacked up for a fancy dress party and got in trouble.

Where does Julius live? Is it Hampton on the Thames?

Tee-hee. He said 'Hampton'.

The Loaded Dog wrote:Maybe come as ourselves to avoid any confusion. Would be a great party.

When are you sending out the invitations, Julius?
Need to know roughly... so I can dust off the canoe and plan the route.

The invite is already out there to everyone. It will be one Sunday in the summer, at my house. Need I say more?

Adam D wrote:Liam Williams (Wales Rugby international) recently blacked up for a fancy dress party and got in trouble.

Where does Julius live? Is it Hampton on the Thames?

I think he lives near Birmingham somewhere? Not far from Hampton Lane, Solihull from memory...

The Loaded Dog wrote:

Adam D wrote:Liam Williams (Wales Rugby international) recently blacked up for a fancy dress party and got in trouble.

Where does Julius live? Is it Hampton on the Thames?

I think he lives near Birmingham somewhere? Not far from Hampton Lane, Solihull from memory...

Tee-hee. He said 'Hampton'.

Are you looking forward to your 50th? I bet you still feel 20-something... in a way?

He lives here:

https://www.google.co.uk/maps/@53.3153302,-1.3109363,3a,75y,109.24h,51.05t/data=!3m4!1e1!3m2!1sSq6PRtUbi88pdiWx4GpILQ!2e0!6m1!1e1

The Loaded Dog wrote:Are you looking forward to your 50th? I bet you still feel 20-something... in a way?

I'm not looking forward to it at all. I've been worried about it for over a year. I woke up on Jan 1st 2014 and thought "F*ck, I'll be 50 next year". I look in the mirror trying to work out if I look that old. I wonder if friends I have in their 20s/30s look at me as a old fossil they indulge with their company. I could quite easily be dead in the next 15 years. Should I continue to play tennis as before, pushing my body as if I think its 25 years old, or should I stick to walking instead of running during the points? It's sh!t basically and a bit distressing to be honest.

You don't look a day older than 49, Jules.

You underestimate my sensitivity on the subject 'fly.

If it is any consolation, Julius, I had you down as much older than 50.

You underestimate my sensitivity on the subject Cane.

My old man is 53 this year Jules, he doesn't look a day over 40 if you ignore the grey facial hair and potbelly. Not being hungover every day like Sean will go a long way to ageing like George Clooney, and not George Bush.

I quite enjoy getting older. I am finally getting an age to match my grumpiness. Being this grumpy, generally snippy and miserable at 20 is just plain odd. Now I am in my 40s it is not quite viewed as badly by folk.

JuliusHMarx wrote:

The Loaded Dog wrote:Are you looking forward to your 50th? I bet you still feel 20-something... in a way?

I'm not looking forward to it at all. I've been worried about it for over a year. I woke up on Jan 1st 2014 and thought "F*ck, I'll be 50 next year". I look in the mirror trying to work out if I look that old. I wonder if friends I have in their 20s/30s look at me as a old fossil they indulge with their company. I could quite easily be dead in the next 15 years. Should I continue to play tennis as before, pushing my body as if I think its 25 years old, or should I stick to walking instead of running during the points? It's sh!t basically and a bit distressing to be honest.

Try not to stress out too much, mate. Just enjoy life... go for those tennis shots but stretch and warm up properly beforehand. And keep your posture.

I have this thing: I'm always comparing ages. For instance... take say someone who was 21 in 1969... they would be 67 or so now. Frightening thought how people seem to age so quickly. Some age better than others though. I'm always doing the mental arithmetic; regardless of the time in which they lived. So in 1979 they would have been 31, in '89; 41, etc.

When I'm looking at historical documentaries, I'm often comparing someone's age with my own time scale. It's an obsession. However, it's purely out of some sort of quirky point of interest/curiosity type of thing.

Look on the brightside Jules. You can sh@g a 50 year old without a) your mates laughing at you, b.) sh@gging your mate's girlfriend's mum.

You can always rely on sean to bring it down to earth with some philosophical perspective.

seanmichaels wrote:Look on the brightside Jules. You can sh@g a 50 year old without a) your mates laughing at you, b.) sh@gging your mate's girlfriend's mum.

You must be looking forward to it then.

JuliusHMarx wrote:

seanmichaels wrote:Look on the brightside Jules. You can sh@g a 50 year old without a) your mates laughing at you, b.) sh@gging your mate's girlfriend's mum.

You must be looking forward to it then.

Not sure. I think I'm on the turn. I'm increasingly finding that my gazes are focused on younger women (18+)