The Culture Cup Round x - Adam is a naughty naughty boy

First topic message reminder :

5. Civic

I hate being disturbed when I am reading, when I used to get the tram to work I always read, and wore my Ipod, to me that makes it fairly obvious I am occupied and happy with my own company, apparently not everyone thinks the same.

I sit in my car for lunch. Have eaten in the canteen once in 7 and a half years.

Car is always the best choice. Everyone else can "chat" but I am not interested in their weekend adventures into the garden centre.

I hate people who eat at their desks. Got an old bird who looks like family guy sat next to me now. She has it all set up now. Tuppaware box full of salad and another full of fruit. Fat c*nt is kidding no one.

Rowley wrote:I hate being disturbed when I am reading, when I used to get the tram to work I always read, and wore my Ipod, to me that makes it fairly obvious I am occupied and happy with my own company, apparently not everyone thinks the same.

Whereas everyone else thinks you have a severe cause of autism

If that is sufficient to make them leave me alone Dave I have no issue with that.

I find that farting and w*nking usually creates a spacious zone of exclusion in work canteens and on public transport.

People....

1. Tell me tell me tell me the answer, You may be a lover but you ain't no dancer

2. When I have nothing to say, my lips are sealed. Say something once, why say it again?

3. Every time just like the last, On her ship tied to the mast. To distant lands, Takes both my hands....

4. You've got beautiful eyes, you've got beautiful thighs, You got a beautiful chin, you got beautiful skin, you've got a beautiful face, you've got taste

5. Conquering myself Until I see another hurdle approaching, Say we can, say we will. Not just another drop in the ocean

Beatles helter skelter

Talking heads psycho killers

ShahenshahG wrote:Beatles helter skelter

Talking heads psycho killers

correct mr shah.

Stranglers golden brown

Chas and dave jack rabbit?

The last one is cutters by echo

DAVE

Very good. Cheat.

Who needs to cheat when youve picked some pretty commonly known ones and you figure out the answer after the second clue

Phew - the thread had been michaelsed all the way to f*ck and back.

What are we all up to over the weekend. TSMR is out tomorrow so I play with my 2inch cock for me I suspect.

Got to go to my daughter's ballet show tonight. That will be like death. Other than that, I plan to get quietly drunk.

Working tomorrow in Hatfield then getting quietly high Sunday and Monday.

Rowley wrote:What are we all up to over the weekend. TSMR is out tomorrow so I play with my 2inch man sausage for me I suspect.

Swear filter really stitchced me up then!

Didn't really need comment just an effort to muffle laughter

superflyweight wrote:Got to go to my daughter's ballet show tonight.

Not sure Tina has ever posted anything quite so middle class on here.

Rowley wrote:

superflyweight wrote:Got to go to my daughter's ballet show tonight.

Not sure Tina has ever posted anything quite so middle class on here.

What about the time he let his woman go abroad without him and left him with the kids

Annual "Race for Life" event at the local park. I get to lug all our gear around whilst shouting incredibly supportive things like "get a f*cking move on, I'm hungry"

More importanly excuse (not that they f*cking need one) for chronically unfit and desperately unattractive women to dress up like fairies, giggle like silly tarts and take the moral high ground because they're doing their bit for charity. Best part is watching some of these grotesques frantically swigging energy drinks beforehand to compensate for not having done ANY training then ambling round and being overtaken by people on crutches then watching them have a cigarette by the park gates afterwards.

"It's a day dedicated to raising awareness and funding for cancer charities are you're here having a smoke you f*cking c*nt?!?!!"

Get my knife!

DAVE667 wrote:Annual "Race for Life" event at the local park. I get to lug all our gear around whilst shouting incredibly supportive things like "get a f*cking move on, I'm hungry"  

More importanly excuse (not that they f*cking need one) for chronically unfit and desperately unattractive women to dress up like fairies, giggle like silly tarts and take the moral high ground because they're doing their bit for charity. Best part is watching some of these grotesques frantically swigging energy drinks beforehand to compensate for not having done ANY training then ambling round and being overtaken by people on crutches then watching them have a cigarette by the park gates afterwards.

"It's a day dedicated to raising awareness and funding for cancer charities are you're here having a smoke you f*cking c*nt?!?!!"

Get my knife!

Poetry.

I went with TSMR to one the other year. I'd love to put your mind at ease Dave and tell you it won't be as bad as all that. It will, and then some.

I'm sure "Race For Life" will undergo a serious review when the participant's limbs and torsos start turning up in suitcases fished out of canals.

fist

Michaelising the thread with the very first post is some acheivement Sean.

RACE FOR LIFE every bit as bad as anticipated with the added bonus of having to get p!ss wet through as my mother-in-law took over a f*cking HOUR to get round the course. Wife then kicked off with a steward as they refused to let my three old daughter have a medal for completing the course. She quickly realized that shouting at the staff at a charity event made only one of them look an utter c*nt so she walked round to another steward (the pair of them f*cking eyeballing each other like some kind of Bollywood standoff) and, sweet as you like, asked if my daughter could have a pair of cheap commemorative dog tags. Prize handed over, wife grinning in(s)anely at everyone. Probably banned from next year's event...only problem is we'll have to drive over to Lancashire for it instead.

Still, not as bad as last year, event held on Father's Day and I'm left looking after my sister-in-law's dog (take it WITH you you silly c*nt) and my nephew. Bump into an old school mate who asks if this is my son and then looks at me oddly when I say "no" as he's already made his mind up about me before I have chance to add that's it's my nephew and my actual family are plodding around the park.

This year full of elderly blokes with camcorders who don't appear to be with anyone. Also seemed to be even more even fatter women who'd decided not to invest in a sports bra.

Absolutely f*cking horrific experience but my daughter enjoyed it and spent all day reminding me that she'd won....she didn't!

Dave, do you want my therapists number? I believe she could help with your anger.

Suffering quite a severe hangover today.

How? Has she expressed* a desire to be gutted like a fish?

* either verbally or with a certain look in her eye...the untrained amongst you may be unable to spot it.

Rowley wrote:Suffering quite a severe hangover today.

Radox and jazz binge?

Guinness and Tequilla.

Rowley wrote:Suffering quite a severe hangover today.

Monday morning hangovers are dreadful. Remember back in the day flatmate and I would get a cab to the pub to pick up our cars on a Sunday morning. It would always be 'just a quick pint before the meat raffle guy turns up'. 9pm we'd still be there.

Ha. Tequila on a Sunday!

Do you also want my therapists number Jeff? She does alcohol referrals.

Mate has got a new job, we were out celebrating. He was worse than me, he was on Stella and Tequilla. TSMR did not enjoy the drive home with us very much.

seanmichaels wrote:Do you also want my therapists number Jeff? She does alcohol referrals.

The fact she is your therapists means the second sentence was pretty unnecessary.

I wouldn't mind your therapist's number, michaels. Visited a few immaculate yet lush gardens yesterday as Galtova insists on buying tickets to the annual Open Gardens Day. It was c0ck-softeningly depressing seeing how the other tenth live. Was worried Julius would launch some buckshot in our direction but seems he wasn't visiting any of his London residences yesterday.

Galted wrote:I wouldn't mind your therapist's number, michaels. Visited a few immaculate yet lush gardens yesterday as Galtova insists on buying tickets to the annual Open Gardens Day. It was c0ck-softeningly depressing seeing how the other tenth live. Was worried Julius would launch some buckshot in our direction but seems he wasn't visiting any of his London residences yesterday.

She is quite fit if you like the hippy look.

Is the open gardens thing RHS? Promised to take the missus to RHS Wisley yesterday but managed to convince her she needed to have a lazy day prior to her week in Berlin.

Life is a caberet, old chum.

Is it not.

Don't think it's RHS.

Good manipulating skills. I managed to wriggle out of Saturday by selflessly agreeing her friend could use my ticket but they just went shopping/eating/drinking instead and I got roped in yesterday.

Gardens? Who can be bothered. Got rid when I bought my house and got the lot leveled and turfed. Massively over-grown due to the pensioners who lived there before me thinking they were sprightly old things when in fact they were nothing of the sort. The guy we got to do the garden was asked by my wife what sort of tree one particular specimen was....he said it was a wildly out of control bush.

F*ck gardening and gardeners/gardening enthusiasts.

Tell me about it Dave. I'm like you. I've had enough of taming jungles to last several lifetimes.
You should have seen the tree roots dug up in this place. Very scary indeed.

However, I will be planting a small arid type garden (or maybe Japanese style?) in spring here. Low maintenance stuff for me.

Before I got married I lived in a flat (which is like an apartment but nowhere near as pretentious or poncy) It had communal gardens that someone else sorted out....perfect!

seanmichaels wrote:Dave, do you want my therapists number? I believe she could help with your anger.

I thought she only dealt with sexual trauma?

DAVE667 wrote:Before I got married I lived in a flat (which is like an apartment but nowhere near as pretentious or poncy) It had communal gardens that someone else sorted out....perfect!

Prison? Poacher turned Gamekeeper?

Bloke who split up with his ex, house sold, cheap flat rented close to work.

Good afternoon.

Afternoon Tina, popped in to set the next question in the CC?