The Culture Cup Round x - Adam is a naughty naughty boy

by Guest Fri 06 Nov 2015, 12:22 pm

First topic message reminder :

The Loaded Dog wrote:I haven't seen Altar of Plagues but my dentist reckons they're OK.

It's disappointing on so many levels, LD.

by **seanmichaels** Wed 25 Nov 2015, 2:06 pm

Obviously there would be a gun at your father's head forcing you to choose one option.

by Mind the windows Tino. Wed 25 Nov 2015, 2:08 pm

You really are a massive bender.

by **seanmichaels** Wed 25 Nov 2015, 2:09 pm

It is a philosophical question.

by Guest Wed 25 Nov 2015, 2:24 pm

seanmichaels wrote:
DAVE667 wrote:
seanmichaels wrote:Was watching the Freddie Mercury tribute concert last night and forgot they did Bohemian Rhapsody with Elton John and AXL ROSE. Thought about Dave when he was letting rip.
Thought you'd be too busy thinking about being noshed off by Freddie and Elton dressed as tramps to pay attention to someone breaking wind onstage

As the house div at Uni I was often bombarded with silly questions about bummery. ie would I rather get your backdoor smashed in for a minute off Barrymore, or spend the whole night being kissed and carressed by John and furnish (but no penetration). I said I'd love to be the victim of a massive celebrity gangr*pe and be left for dead whilst celebrity bummers queued up to take turns with my still twitching corpse. They all laughed at me again so I went upstairs for a sh!t and managed to p!ss all down my leg. "What a c*nt that sean is" they'd all shout after I'd left the room.

by **seanmichaels** Wed 25 Nov 2015, 2:36 pm

What would you do Dave? If you had to?

by 1GrumpyGolfer Wed 25 Nov 2015, 2:52 pm

Probably kill all three of them to avoid bummery and caressing and then leave the dismembered body parts across three counties

by Guest Wed 25 Nov 2015, 3:06 pm

As I'm confident I could beat the f*ck out of Barrymore, John and Furnish, I doubt it's anything I'd ever have to worry about. My main concern would not be anal trauma, it would be the horror of having to choose between listening to Elton singing or Barrymore doing his "hilarious" comedy routine

by **seanmichaels** Wed 25 Nov 2015, 3:13 pm

So you don't think MB would strike it lucky?

by Guest Wed 25 Nov 2015, 3:18 pm

Nor would he be awiiight at the back!

by **Galted** Wed 25 Nov 2015, 7:06 pm

The company at which I work employs four people by the name of Manmeet. One of them is in Pune.

by **Galted** Wed 25 Nov 2015, 7:08 pm

JuliusHMarx wrote:
Galted wrote:And REM and INXS.

Morning all.

Nice one Galted. Didn't want it to be overlooked.

Thanks, Julius. It is a bit risking quoting it as it might annoy certain posters.

by **JuliusHMarx** Wed 25 Nov 2015, 10:26 pm

Galted wrote:
JuliusHMarx wrote:
Galted wrote:And REM and INXS.

Morning all.

Nice one Galted. Didn't want it to be overlooked.

Thanks, Julius. It is a bit risking quoting it as it might annoy certain posters.

No risk for me G-man. You need to remember who I am.

by **ShahenshahG** Thu 26 Nov 2015, 6:38 am

Fist.

End of days or rather, the week

by **ShahenshahG** Thu 26 Nov 2015, 7:15 am

He believes
he's cursed
because his bum dispersed
Michaels
Michaels

by **ShahenshahG** Thu 26 Nov 2015, 7:22 am

Might
is Right
So pity Tino's plight
Junior
Junior

by **ShahenshahG** Thu 26 Nov 2015, 7:23 am

He's Off
Tommorow
so he's wondering what to "Borrow"
Rowley
Rowley

by **rIck_dAgless** Thu 26 Nov 2015, 7:24 am

Morning mate, long weekend?

Sick

by **ShahenshahG** Thu 26 Nov 2015, 7:27 am

Short one sadly. Just tommorow. then 15 hour shifts on sat, sun and a 16 hour one on Monday. Same for next three weekends.

by **rIck_dAgless** Thu 26 Nov 2015, 7:36 am

Lame...

I am off monday but mainly for shopping, would prefer to be in work.

Any plans for the morrow?

by **ShahenshahG** Thu 26 Nov 2015, 7:41 am

Get mashed tonight then sleep it off tommorow. Then take my daughter out to mcdonalds or maybe an ice cream shop. You?

by **rIck_dAgless** Thu 26 Nov 2015, 7:46 am

not much this weekend mate, football (playing) on Saturday is probably the highlight

May imbibe alcohol at some point I expect and indulge in PS4 but thats about it, rock and roll baby

by Rowley Thu 26 Nov 2015, 7:50 am

Morning all. Cleaning the house and playing poker tomorrow night. Sleep off the hangover Saturday and then round to mate's to watch fury get beat Saturday. Lovely stuff.

by **ShahenshahG** Thu 26 Nov 2015, 7:51 am

I have been craving hot fish and chips on a cold cold night but opportunity hasn't come yet

by Mind the windows Tino. Thu 26 Nov 2015, 8:01 am

Why are we talking about the weekend on a Thursday morning.

Does nobody adhere to the CC rules these days?

I'm not telling you what I am doing at the weekend. I will tell you tomorrow afternoon, as per the handbook/rules.

Although I am slightly perturbed that Jeff is going round his mates for the fight when he clearly, and on record, invited me round to his.

This can only mean one of two things:

a) he wasn't serious about the invite. Which hurts, Jeff. Actually hurts a lot.
b) he is setting me up with TSMR. In which case everyone wins.

by **ShahenshahG** Thu 26 Nov 2015, 8:04 am

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:Why are we talking about the weekend on a Thursday morning.

Does nobody adhere to the CC rules these days?

I'm not telling you what I am doing at the weekend. I will tell you tomorrow afternoon, as per the handbook/rules.

Although I am slightly perturbed that Jeff is going round his mates for the fight when he clearly, and on record, invited me round to his.

This can only mean one of two things:

a) he wasn't serious about the invite. Which hurts, Jeff. Actually hurts a lot.
b) he is setting me up with TSMR. In which case everyone wins.

Can't be b as she's round mine getting retrained after she was exposed to corrupting influences

by Mind the windows Tino. Thu 26 Nov 2015, 8:05 am

ShahenshahG wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:Why are we talking about the weekend on a Thursday morning.

Does nobody adhere to the CC rules these days?

I'm not telling you what I am doing at the weekend. I will tell you tomorrow afternoon, as per the handbook/rules.

Although I am slightly perturbed that Jeff is going round his mates for the fight when he clearly, and on record, invited me round to his.

This can only mean one of two things:

a) he wasn't serious about the invite. Which hurts, Jeff. Actually hurts a lot.
b) he is setting me up with TSMR. In which case everyone wins.

Can't be b as she's round mine getting retrained after she was exposed to corrupting influences

Must be 'a' then.

You think you know someone and then they kick you in the teeth.

Thanks Jeff. Thanks a lot.

by Rowley Thu 26 Nov 2015, 8:06 am

It is very much the latter Tina. I have done a sex at least twice this yrar. I'm done for, however i don't want to deprive her and who would I rather have step into the breach than my great friend Tina.

by **ShahenshahG** Thu 26 Nov 2015, 8:08 am

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
ShahenshahG wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:Why are we talking about the weekend on a Thursday morning.

Does nobody adhere to the CC rules these days?

I'm not telling you what I am doing at the weekend. I will tell you tomorrow afternoon, as per the handbook/rules.

Although I am slightly perturbed that Jeff is going round his mates for the fight when he clearly, and on record, invited me round to his.

This can only mean one of two things:

a) he wasn't serious about the invite. Which hurts, Jeff. Actually hurts a lot.
b) he is setting me up with TSMR. In which case everyone wins.

Can't be b as she's round mine getting retrained after she was exposed to corrupting influences

Must be 'a' then.

You think you know someone and then they kick you in the teeth.

Thanks Jeff. Thanks a lot.

You should have learnt that the first 5 times it happened

by Mind the windows Tino. Thu 26 Nov 2015, 8:09 am

Rowley wrote:It is very much the latter Tina. I have done a sex at least twice this yrar. I'm done for, however i don't want to deprive her and who would I rather have step into the breach than my great friend Tina.

Well that has turned my frown upside down, Jeff.

What a cracking start to the day. Enjoy the fight. Don't worry about things at home.

by Mind the windows Tino. Thu 26 Nov 2015, 8:10 am

ShahenshahG wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
ShahenshahG wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:Why are we talking about the weekend on a Thursday morning.

Does nobody adhere to the CC rules these days?

I'm not telling you what I am doing at the weekend. I will tell you tomorrow afternoon, as per the handbook/rules.

Although I am slightly perturbed that Jeff is going round his mates for the fight when he clearly, and on record, invited me round to his.

This can only mean one of two things:

a) he wasn't serious about the invite. Which hurts, Jeff. Actually hurts a lot.
b) he is setting me up with TSMR. In which case everyone wins.

Can't be b as she's round mine getting retrained after she was exposed to corrupting influences

Must be 'a' then.

You think you know someone and then they kick you in the teeth.

Thanks Jeff. Thanks a lot.

You should have learnt that the first 5 times it happened

I will only take so much from you, Shah. You and your cronies don't scare me you know.

by **ShahenshahG** Thu 26 Nov 2015, 8:17 am

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
ShahenshahG wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
ShahenshahG wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:Why are we talking about the weekend on a Thursday morning.

Does nobody adhere to the CC rules these days?

I'm not telling you what I am doing at the weekend. I will tell you tomorrow afternoon, as per the handbook/rules.

Although I am slightly perturbed that Jeff is going round his mates for the fight when he clearly, and on record, invited me round to his.

This can only mean one of two things:

a) he wasn't serious about the invite. Which hurts, Jeff. Actually hurts a lot.
b) he is setting me up with TSMR. In which case everyone wins.

Can't be b as she's round mine getting retrained after she was exposed to corrupting influences

Must be 'a' then.

You think you know someone and then they kick you in the teeth.

Thanks Jeff. Thanks a lot.

You should have learnt that the first 5 times it happened

I will only take so much from you, Shah. You and your cronies don't scare me you know.

People are weird like that not scared of terrifying terrorists but afraid to go home during the day in case their child is bunking school.

by **seanmichaels** Thu 26 Nov 2015, 8:17 am

Morning. I am joining a gym tonight.

by **seanmichaels** Thu 26 Nov 2015, 8:18 am

I shall by some lycra at lunch.

by **seanmichaels** Thu 26 Nov 2015, 8:27 am

Is Karrimor a chav make?

by Mind the windows Tino. Thu 26 Nov 2015, 8:33 am

ShahenshahG wrote:

People are weird like that not scared of terrifying terrorists but afraid to go home during the day in case their child is bunking school.

I let Mrs Windows worry about that. She is from a hunting and fishing village. She can kill and skin a bear in seconds.

She'd bend you right over and stuff your IED up where Sean likes to go.

by **ShahenshahG** Thu 26 Nov 2015, 8:47 am

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
ShahenshahG wrote:

People are weird like that not scared of terrifying terrorists but afraid to go home during the day in case their child is bunking school.

I let Mrs Windows worry about that. She is from a hunting and fishing village. She can kill and skin a bear in seconds.

She'd bend you right over and stuff your IED up where Sean likes to go.

Would end the constipation rather spectacularly

by **JuliusHMarx** Thu 26 Nov 2015, 8:55 am

Rowley wrote:It is very much the latter Tina. I have done a sex at least twice this yrar. I'm done for, however i don't want to deprive her and who would I rather have step into the breach than my great friend Tina.

It's not her first choice, I can tell you that.

by **seanmichaels** Thu 26 Nov 2015, 8:58 am

JuliusHMarx wrote:
Rowley wrote:It is very much the latter Tina. I have done a sex at least twice this yrar. I'm done for, however i don't want to deprive her and who would I rather have step into the breach than my great friend Tina.

It's not her first choice, I can tell you that.

Thanks Jules.

by **ShahenshahG** Thu 26 Nov 2015, 9:18 am

Not even plausible as a fiction Sean.

by **rIck_dAgless** Thu 26 Nov 2015, 9:44 am

Firewall change is knacking my interweb today, I will attempt quality, not quantity...

This one doesn't count...

by **seanmichaels** Thu 26 Nov 2015, 10:03 am

Got a wedding invite this morning. It is in the South of France next August. No suits, just summer chic. What is summer chic?

by **JuliusHMarx** Thu 26 Nov 2015, 10:05 am

Thongs

by **seanmichaels** Thu 26 Nov 2015, 10:13 am

No thongs (flipflops) on the invite.

If Galted was here, he would know.

by Mind the windows Tino. Thu 26 Nov 2015, 10:15 am

Galted would wear cargo shorts and sandals. The same thing he would wear if the invite was 'winter chic', 'autumn chic' or 'spring chic'.

If someone sent me a wedding invite with the words 'summer chic' on it for the dress code, it would go straight in the bin. Pretentious c*nts.

by **seanmichaels** Thu 26 Nov 2015, 10:17 am

WTF?????

Spoiler:

by Mind the windows Tino. Thu 26 Nov 2015, 10:18 am

He looks like Dermot O'Leary.

by **seanmichaels** Thu 26 Nov 2015, 10:22 am

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

If someone sent me a wedding invite with the words 'summer chic' on it for the dress code, it would go straight in the bin. Pretentious c*nts.

Yes, although he's one of my best friends he likes to think he's a bit of a hipster.

Should be an interesting do. Probably my first run in with the ex 'in laws'. My track record of behaviour at weddings is also not that great.

by **Pal Joey** Thu 26 Nov 2015, 10:22 am

and a nice hat.

Someone gave me an unexpected compliment on my flip-flops the other day.
FFS... they are your middle of the road, off the shelf surf brand. Can buy them anywhere here.
They do look kind of stylish for casual summer wear though.

Seany, I was at a (summerish, smart casual) wedding recently. Marriage ceremony was in an orthodox Russian church so quite traditional in there - suit/tie, many wore sunnies mingling outside beforehand. Between there and the reception venue all the blokes dressed down... it was very hot but take the cue from the bride/groom's folks... see how casual they go and follow suit. The women wore phuck all as the night wore on... max cleavage spilling out on the dancefloor.

by Mind the windows Tino. Thu 26 Nov 2015, 10:29 am

seanmichaels wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

If someone sent me a wedding invite with the words 'summer chic' on it for the dress code, it would go straight in the bin. Pretentious c*nts.

Yes, although he's one of my best friends he likes to think he's a bit of a hipster.

My best mate (not Andy Captain Poofinger) would be more likely to insist on shell suits rather than summer chic. Although he is an ugly b*stard with serious personality disorders so the chances of him marrying are slim.

'Summer chic'? What a w*nker.

by **seanmichaels** Thu 26 Nov 2015, 10:35 am

Do they have weddings up north? I thought they just swapped livestock?

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