The Culture Cup Round x - Adam is a naughty naughty boy

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Jeff's Manbag

See if you can break out Il Gia from the stockade while you're in the region. We are partially at fault for his imprisonment. It sits poorly with me that we abandoned him to his fate.

ShahenshahG wrote:See if you can break out Il Gia from the stockade while you're in the region. We are partially at fault for his imprisonment. It sits poorly with me that we abandoned him to his fate.

If I knew he was still alive I would happy pop up to Shanghai (I think that's where he was?) and rescue him. I miss Il Gia. Terribly amusing chap. He reminded me of Galted, only without the appalling dress sense.

I think he off trekking somewhere though wasn't he? In Nepal or something. He is almost certainly dead or at the very least he has joined ISIS. Can you make some inquiries with your jihadi mates?

I've asked but you know how it is, if he's joined out of fear (his previous history with potential threats makes this the most likely option) then he'll keep his head down and if he joined out of religious conviction he has probably shed his humour and is of no real worth to us anymore.

ShahenshahG wrote: he has probably shed his humour

He'd fit right in then.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

ShahenshahG wrote: he has probably shed his humour

He'd fit right in then.

Yes but I think you should discuss this with Mrs Windows before you adopt him

ShahenshahG wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

ShahenshahG wrote: he has probably shed his humour

He'd fit right in then.

Yes but I think you should discuss this with Mrs Windows before you adopt him

Funny you should say that. Mrs Windows has declared that she wants to foster a child now. I sh*t you not.

She's f*cking mad. I'm stretched to breaking point. I can't be taking on someone elses kid as well. It won't make a difference though, once she makes her mind up, she ain't for turning.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-asia-india-35230388

Blimey. Raf has been scoring freely these days.

I wonder what sin she committed to be stuck with you, you whiny c*nt. 5 kids and wants to adopt more. Heart of gold. Can skin a bear and hunt for food and survive in sub zero temperatures. Sounds like a dream ...or fiction.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-asia-india-35230388

Blimey.  Raf has been scoring freely these days.

Fifteen-year-old Pranav 'Raf' Dhanawade broke the previous record of 628 set by Arthur 'Coxy' Collins in 1899 on Monday.

Union Cane wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-asia-india-35230388

Blimey.  Raf has been scoring freely these days.

Fifteen-year-old Pranav 'Raf' Dhanawade broke the previous record of 628 set by Arthur 'Coxy' Collins in 1899 on Monday.

Great Spot

Morning all.

Anyone catch the comments from Chris Gayle yesterday? Poor bloke has been fined now.

Is coxy still in residence here?

Morning Alistair, not caught the comments, but he was trying to woo a presenter was he not?

Yeah, some crappy one liner that's had him labeled a sexist.

Anyone seen sean? I'm a bit worried he may have drunk himself to death over the festive period.

Yeah the possibility has occurred to us. Hopefully he's being bummed by an ostrich or something.

Unless of course he is Robert Stigwood...

I could have had him down as Lemmy to be fair

rick_dagless wrote:I could have had him down as Lemmy to be fair

Difference being that Lemmy's stories of sexual conquests are true.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

rick_dagless wrote:I could have had him down as Lemmy to be fair

Difference being that Lemmy's stories of sexual conquests are true.

Same dishevelled look and drinking though

rick_dagless wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

rick_dagless wrote:I could have had him down as Lemmy to be fair

Difference being that Lemmy's stories of sexual conquests are true.

Same dishevelled look and drinking though

Plus he wrought passion out of dave on several occasions. Contemptuous passion but passion nonetheless. Obituaries in by tonight lads.

Shah wrote:Obituaries in by tonight lads.

I may just submit a Wisden, covered in sick, with a man sausage drawn on the inside cover...

Im thinking a picture of a french woman in expedition clothing wearing a strap on and holding a copy of ''journey to the centre of the earth''.

Afternoon all. I'm not sean.

Well that's a relief. Only one possible dead drunkard. Happy new year mate.

Afternoon supes and happy hogmany and whatnot...

Happy New Year Shah and Rick and everyone else.

First day back at work today (we get an extra day in Scotland). Horrific beyond all description.

Is it an extra day's drinking or an extra day to recover?

Started off as the latter and ended up as the former. Quite apt considering seans demise.

Those two things are not mutually exclusive.

I shall eat chips of the back of some random stunner who is definitely up for it in tribute to Sean.

Will also dedicate the MOTORHEAD song, "On Your Feet or on your Knees" to him or possibly "Liar"

In fact...

Shah can have "Bomber"
Tina can have "Don't let Daddy Kiss Me"
Rowley can have "I ain't No Nice Guy"
Adam can have, "Just Cos You got the Power (That Don't Mean You Got the Right)"
Rick can have "In the Black"
Jules can have "1916"

Sean's definitely dead then?

Was looking forward to the story he tantalisingly dangled in front of us in his last post...

sean wrote:Got a great drink related story to share at some point. Beats monster munch on pepperami in terms of a low....

/quote]

SERIAL wrote:
Shah can have "Bomber"
Tina can have "Don't let Daddy Kiss Me"
Rowley can have "I ain't No Nice Guy"
Adam can have, "Just Cos You got the Power (That Don't Mean You Got the Right)"
Rick can have "In the Black"
Jules can have "1916"

lol out loud...

Initially It surprised me that sean dying has energised the cup again but when you dwell on it a bit. It doesn't surprise at all.

When the venerable Windy passed over there was a special Boxing Vault, for specialised knowledge on the subject.

Wonder what we should do for sean?

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

ShahenshahG wrote:Business trip or escapism?

Business, but it amounts to the same thing.

I've said it before and I'll say it again, it's sex tourism.

[quote="rick_dagless"]When the venerable Windy passed over there was a special Boxing Vault, for specialised knowledge on the subject.

Wonder what we should do for sean?/quote]

I think we should mark it by all making up an outlandish tale of sexual or drinking misadventures (the creative can combine the two if they wish) and maybe make a similar vault to store them in. As long as we remember to qualify them with GOSPEL all is good.

Alternatively we can all smash through 8 cans of Orangeboom tonight and try and get kicked out by the missus. I am genuinely easy either way.

rick_dagless wrote:When the venerable Windy passed over there was a special Boxing Vault, for specialised knowledge on the subject.

Wonder what we should do for sean?

I can rename the lost and found box which contains mostly Heros soiled underpants.

Jeffers wrote:I think we should mark it by all making up an outlandish tale of sexual or drinking misadventures (the creative can combine the two if they wish) and maybe make a similar vault to store them in. As long as we remember to qualify them with GOSPEL all is good.

Alternatively we can all smash through 8 cans of Orangeboom tonight and try and get kicked out by the missus. I am genuinely easy either way.

The GOSPEL vault does sound good, though anyone casually searching for stories about evangelist music may get some eye openers...

Haha rick that would be brilliant.

How about a vault of threads that have been michaelsedsed?

A fitting tribute to the great man.

Union Cane wrote:How about a vault of threads that have been michaelsedsed?

A fitting tribute to the great man.

Would there be room on the interwebthingy for something that large?

Adam D wrote:

rick_dagless wrote:When the venerable Windy passed over there was a special Boxing Vault, for specialised knowledge on the subject.

Wonder what we should do for sean?

I can rename the lost and found box which contains mostly Heros soiled underpants.

Sean would have loved those soiled underpants.

DAVE667 wrote:

Union Cane wrote:How about a vault of threads that have been michaelsedsed?

A fitting tribute to the great man.

Would there be room on the interwebthingy for something that large?

We could have him buried upside down and store it in his bum?

supes wrote:Sean would have loved those soiled underpants.

He could've invented a story for every stain...

rick_dagless wrote:

supes wrote:Sean would have loved those soiled underpants.

He could've invented a story for every stain...

He would have changed the lyrics of a song to match it.

"And they say that Hero can save us
I'm just going to bend over and wait
And it's the love of hero
That's why these are covered in poo"

ShahenshahG wrote:

rick_dagless wrote:

supes wrote:Sean would have loved those soiled underpants.

He could've invented a story for every stain...

He would have changed the lyrics of a song to match it.

"And they say that Hero can save us
I'm just going to bend over and wait
And it's the love of hero
That's why these are covered in poo"

In honour of the Gun's and Roses reunion, Sean's version of one of their hit songs. Probably the actual lyrics originally..

'Welcome to my bumhole;
It's full of sp*nk and aids;
I'll do anything you want;
Cause i've got no f**king shame.'

If you like a bumhole, I tell you I'm your man
You win some, lose some, all the same to me
The pleasure is to play, makes no difference what you say
I don't share your greed, the only card I need is the Arse of Spades
The Arse of Spades
Playing for the high one, dancing with the devil
Messing up the quote function, it's all a game to me
Seven or eleven, snake eyes watching you
Double whiskey or quit, double stake or split, the Arse of Spades
The Arse of Spades
You know I'm born to lose, and Oranjeboom's for fools
But that's the way I like it baby
I don't wanna live with her for ever
And don't forget the joker!
Pushing up the flowers, I know you gotta see me
Read 'em and weep, the dead man's hand again
I see it in your eyes, take one look and die
The only thing you see, you know it's gonna be the Arse of Spades
The Arse of Spades

I would've changed 'split' to 'spit' but other than that, bravo. Superb.

You know I'm born to lose, and Oranjeboom's for fools

That's my favourite line...lovely work