It's not 'Send', it's the 'Culture Cup', stupid.

First topic message reminder :

A booze-pilfering drunken feral pig has caused chaos by running amok at an Australian campsite and starting a fight with a cow.

The belligerent porker went on a drunken bender after stealing and drinking three six-packs of beer that had been left out by campers at the DeGrey River campsite in Port Hedland, Australia.

In the predictable series of events that followed the animal went on to ransack rubbish bin bags to find some late-night snacks before starting a fight with an innocent eyewitness cow.

Following the boarish rampage the pig decided to swim out into the middle of a river before collapsing drunk under a tree and falling asleep.

One camper named Merida recounted the tale to the ABC network: "It was in the middle of the night and it was these people camping opposite us and they heard this crunching of the can and they got their torch out and shone it on the pig and there he was scrunching away at their cans."

"Then he went and raided their rubbish that they had sort of covered over with a bin as well.

"And then there was some other people camped right on the river and they saw him running around their vehicle being chased by a cow.

"It was going around and around and then it went into the river and swam across to the middle of the river.

"The people that were camped on the river went across and crept up on it and it was hiding and sleeping under a big log right on the edge of the water."

"It was sort of coming from there for a couple of days but we didn't see it this morning or last night."

Feliz Ano Nuevo Notches

FIST

All well infidels?

Morning, heathen, happy new year dear boy, all good?

F*cking shattered, had a nice hot shower about 9ish yesterday and instead of knocking me out like a normal person it kept me awake until 3 then I gave up trying to sleep and started w*nking. Other than that not bad, got a bit of rest in. What bout you?

Mainly drink, food and sleep mate, so all in all, a good one to be honest.

Back here for a few weeks before I change job so hopefully just coasting until the end now.

Let's see how that works out! Still I get to laugh at all the people who have had the whole festive period off, which is nice. Wonder if we will get any new members in 2017?

I doubt it. All the ones with normal healthy relationships remain here all year round and the ones with unstable/violent/non-existent (i'm looking at your a*sehole Sean because that's all we can see) have been absent for chunks of the year. Alistair. Rowley. Tino. TLD. Sean. Looks like it'll be a year of struggle as we come to terms with brexit, Trump and Sean's new drink and drug induced hallucination relationship. Each more unlikely than the next. We might get some old posters back but I doubt we can attract new ones in this semi-comatose state.

Have you been called to interview for a new job or applied for any?

I start a new role in Feb mate, different company etc.

Last few weeks are always a pain in the behind though.

You do tend to get whiny and repetitive in the end days, it shall be a treat for us to go through it again with you.

Thanks man, though having people I have little time for, continually wishing me a happy new year is already whiny and repetitive, c**ts.

And I don't know what will be worse, new people in the gym, or people moaning about new people in the gym, we didn't moan when they came into our pubs over Christmas.

You should point out loudly and condescendingly to them that its people like these - who sign up for a year and only bother you for a month that allow you such cheap memberships. If they charged pay as you go, you'd be either fat or poor. Then drop a banana skin on the new guy using a treadmill when the coast is clear.

I don't mind everyone going to the gym, as long as they do more exercise than photographing, and last more than a day.

I have no idea what I am doing in a gym so have no business mocking folk, but then most of the gym bunnies have no idea what they are doing in a pub over the festive period, and that annoys me more.

rick_dagless wrote:Thanks man, though having people I have little time for, continually wishing me a happy new year is already whiny and repetitive, c**ts.

Happy New Year rick!

And you Shah!

I always have time for you, Jules, so no worries there.

Happy new year to you too!

JuliusHMarx wrote:

rick_dagless wrote:Thanks man, though having people I have little time for, continually wishing me a happy new year is already whiny and repetitive, c**ts.

Happy New Year rick!

And you Shah!

Beatus anni Iulio, ut ante moriaris falso pluries in anno.

Latin does tend to kill a thread to be fair Shah.

Sometimes but I think either Julies has misread it or Google translate has fecked me over and I've mortally insulted him in some way

"Blessed is the year of July, on a false die before me a number of times in the year."
"Blessed is the year of July, several times a year to die before me a false."

Maybe - Happy New Year Jules, I wish you many false deaths.

Cheese savoury sandwich, beef crisps, and my first mince pie of the festive period. 6/10

rick_dagless wrote:Cheese savoury sandwich, beef crisps, and my first mince pie of the festive period. 6/10

You must have used a very different translator than the ones I tried.

I used "Bing" Jules, explains a lot,

Probably not to Jules, Rick, probably not to Jules.

Happy New Year Shah
Happy New Year Rick
Happy New Year Julius
Happy New Year Rowley
Happy New Year Galted
Happy New Year Dolphin
Happy New Year Fly
Happy New Year Tino
Happy New Year TLD
Happy New Year Serial
Happy New Year Sean
RIP Dave

So my missus of 10 years, who's been busting my balls about getting married up until 8 months ago, when she started telling (shouting) me that the ship had sailed etc etc, completely sucker punched me by accepting my proposal on Christmas day.

Didn't quite go to plan.

I trust everyone had a great break, is fully refreshed and raring to tear into 2017 like Alan Carr into Sean's rusty bullet hole?

Tattie Scones RRN wrote:Happy New Year Shah
Happy New Year Rick
Happy New Year Julius
Happy New Year Rowley
Happy New Year Galted
Happy New Year Dolphin
Happy New Year Fly
Happy New Year Tino
Happy New Year TLD
Happy New Year Serial
Happy New Year Sean
RIP Dave

So my missus of 10 years, who's been busting my balls about getting married up until 8 months ago, when she started telling (shouting) me that the ship had sailed etc etc, completely sucker punched me by accepting my proposal on Christmas day.

Didn't quite go to plan.

I trust everyone had a great break, is fully refreshed and raring to tear into 2017 like Alan Carr into Sean's rusty bullet hole?

Blwyddyn newydd dda, Tattie, Mai gyd bar un eich breuddwydion yn dod yn wir.

Tattie Scones RRN wrote:Happy New Year Shah
Happy New Year Rick
Happy New Year Julius
Happy New Year Rowley
Happy New Year Galted
Happy New Year Dolphin
Happy New Year Fly
Happy New Year Tino
Happy New Year TLD
Happy New Year Serial
Happy New Year Sean
RIP Dave

So my missus of 10 years, who's been busting my balls about getting married up until 8 months ago, when she started telling (shouting) me that the ship had sailed etc etc, completely sucker punched me by accepting my proposal on Christmas day.

Didn't quite go to plan.

I trust everyone had a great break, is fully refreshed and raring to tear into 2017 like Alan Carr into Sean's rusty bullet hole?

Happy new year to you Tattie Scones (and to everyone else for that matter).

I got intimidated into marriage last May. It's not so bad except the wedding ring rubs against my middle and little fingers and they have a bit of a rash at the moment.

Well done (I think) Tattie, good luck in your new life of servitude whilst your current partner gets bigger and stops giving a f**k.

All the sage advice you will need for the big day can be found on here.

Morning all.

Gutentag Rick, the circus goes on and on. All good in the hood?

All good here my man, and you?

Pretty good. Got my car sorted after the VED feckers took ages sorting it out. 8 weeks i've been without my own car. Just catching up on the latest brexit madness. How is operation wind down going?

Wind down is going well, but I can make the days drag on a bit to be honest.

Need to find a work hobby, like an angry Kiwi or something.

JuliusHMarx wrote:

rick_dagless wrote:Cheese savoury sandwich, beef crisps, and my first mince pie of the festive period. 6/10

You must have used a very different translator than the ones I tried.

Forgot to lol out loud at that yesterday. Apologies.

Galteded to high heaven,

Morning brethren.

Fist for once.

Daglessed. I think we should extend the period of non michaelsing beyond Christmas. Morning Rick the brick.

Morning mate, are you well?

Oh dear. Sorry about yesterday's michaelsing, very embarrassing for, not only me, but the people of Greater London Hope this post doesn't have a similar effect.

Galted wrote:Oh dear. Sorry about yesterday's michaelsing, very embarrassing for, not only me, but the people of Greater London Hope this post doesn't have a similar effect.

Probably would have done but for the missing full stop after London. I felt compelled to point it out.

Sorry Rick, feckin chaos at work as water mains burst. Freezing in here so running around with heaters. My request to use a flamethrower has been denied. Dull b*stards.

You must be able to "improvise" a device Shah...

rick_dagless wrote:You must be able to "improvise" a device Shah...

How do you think the water main 'burst'?

JuliusHMarx wrote:

Galted wrote:Oh dear. Sorry about yesterday's michaelsing, very embarrassing for, not only me, but the people of Greater London Hope this post doesn't have a similar effect.

Probably would have done but for the missing full stop after London. I felt compelled to point it out.

It was more than likely nicked by... Trussman for... one of his posts...

If I come across it on the off-topic section I shall claim it and put it back where it belongs

Lunch. 7/10

Blimey! I also had lunch. What are the chances?

Galted wrote:Blimey! I also had lunch. What are the chances?

7/10

Once bitten twice shy eh rick?

Fist notches. All good in the hood?

Morning mate all is good and a happy Friday to you dear boy.

And to you dear uncle rick? Someone has driven into the barrier. This is going to be a chaotic year.

The security Barrier? Much damage?

Will try and get a pic up mate. Fecking disaster. Caved in the bottom of the car.

Fist

Sickened.

Fist Notches

Knackered.

morning mate, why so tired?