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This site has stopped rendering properly on my laptop, odd.

Fist.

JuliusHMarx wrote:We had a local bat fly into the house a few weeks ago, as we'd left the back door open. Caused quite a flap (haha) as it toured the lounge, then went upstairs, before flying back down and out.

That must have caused a fright. They look bigger (our ones) close up. They have a big wing span. Did it move quickly?

The poor thing was probably only trying to get a closer look at some sharper productions... and grab some fruit on the way out perhaps?

Bat lives matter. I hope it found its colony... or cloud as they are sometimes known.

It moved very quickly, flitting about so much we couldn't really get a good look at it, as we only had a couple of lamps on.

Probably not that big - we often see them outside in the evening, following a specific flying route. One of our cats killed one once and left it on the patio.

alfie wrote:
I would contribute occasionally to this thread but for the fact that I somehow haven't quite managed to get the feel of it yet.  Will keep watching...

Hi Alfie. Please do contribute, especially now one of the senior members has died.

I would say the feel of the place is one of culture, education, intellect and erudition. Also, we like to debate if its possible to eat a bag of chips off a girls back whilst doing her doggy style.

There are few rules - I was the big dog round here until sadly I died. I have returned but dead people, which Rick is about to find out, don't have the gravitas they once had. So it is basically a bun fight between the rest for the top role. If you want my opinion, it is probably Galted as he was the founder member alongside myself but he is a bit retarded so anyone with half a brain (rules out a few of us) could make a play to be the Silverback.

And don't try to take Jules on in any intellectual debate. That cat is as sharp as a knife. But he is very, very old so may join me in the afterlife soon.

Welcome to the team.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

alfie wrote:
I would contribute occasionally to this thread but for the fact that I somehow haven't quite managed to get the feel of it yet.  Will keep watching...

Hi Alfie. Please do contribute, especially now one of the senior members has died.

I would say the feel of the place is one of culture, education, intellect and erudition. Also, we like to debate if its possible to eat a bag of chips off a girls back whilst doing her doggy style.

There are few rules - I was the big dog round here until sadly I died. I have returned but dead people, which Rick is about to find out, don't have the gravitas they once had. So it is basically a bun fight between the rest for the top role. If you want my opinion, it is probably Galted as he was the founder member alongside myself but he is a bit retarded so anyone with half a brain (rules out a few of us) could make a play to be the Silverback.

And don't try to take Jules on in any intellectual debate. That cat is as sharp as a knife. But he is very, very old so may join me in the afterlife soon.

Welcome to the team.

We also point out grammatical errors by half-wits.

JuliusHMarx wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

alfie wrote:
I would contribute occasionally to this thread but for the fact that I somehow haven't quite managed to get the feel of it yet.  Will keep watching...

Hi Alfie. Please do contribute, especially now one of the senior members has died.

I would say the feel of the place is one of culture, education, intellect and erudition. Also, we like to debate if its possible to eat a bag of chips off a girls back whilst doing her doggy style.

There are few rules - I was the big dog round here until sadly I died. I have returned but dead people, which Rick is about to find out, don't have the gravitas they once had. So it is basically a bun fight between the rest for the top role. If you want my opinion, it is probably Galted as he was the founder member alongside myself but he is a bit retarded so anyone with half a brain (rules out a few of us) could make a play to be the Silverback.

And don't try to take Jules on in any intellectual debate. That cat is as sharp as a knife. But he is very, very old so may join me in the afterlife soon.

Welcome to the team.

We also point out grammatical errors by half-wits.

I'm only a quarter-wit, Jules so I'll take that as a compliment.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

alfie wrote:
I would contribute occasionally to this thread but for the fact that I somehow haven't quite managed to get the feel of it yet.  Will keep watching...

Hi Alfie. Please do contribute, especially now one of the senior members has died.

I would say the feel of the place is one of culture, education, intellect and erudition. Also, we like to debate if its possible to eat a bag of chips off a girls back whilst doing her doggy style.

There are few rules - I was the big dog round here until sadly I died. I have returned but dead people, which Rick is about to find out, don't have the gravitas they once had. So it is basically a bun fight between the rest for the top role. If you want my opinion, it is probably Galted as he was the founder member alongside myself but he is a bit retarded so anyone with half a brain (rules out a few of us) could make a play to be the Silverback.

And don't try to take Jules on in any intellectual debate. That cat is as sharp as a knife. But he is very, very old so may join me in the afterlife soon.

Welcome to the team.

Lol out loud.

superflyweight wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

alfie wrote:
I would contribute occasionally to this thread but for the fact that I somehow haven't quite managed to get the feel of it yet.  Will keep watching...

Hi Alfie. Please do contribute, especially now one of the senior members has died.

I would say the feel of the place is one of culture, education, intellect and erudition. Also, we like to debate if its possible to eat a bag of chips off a girls back whilst doing her doggy style.

There are few rules - I was the big dog round here until sadly I died. I have returned but dead people, which Rick is about to find out, don't have the gravitas they once had. So it is basically a bun fight between the rest for the top role. If you want my opinion, it is probably Galted as he was the founder member alongside myself but he is a bit retarded so anyone with half a brain (rules out a few of us) could make a play to be the Silverback.

And don't try to take Jules on in any intellectual debate. That cat is as sharp as a knife. But he is very, very old so may join me in the afterlife soon.

Welcome to the team.

Lol out loud.  

It should be l*l out loud.

I make my own rules. People see me, and they see the suit, and they go: "you're not fooling anyone", they know I'm rock and roll through and through. But you know that old thing, live fast, die young? Not my way. Live fast, sure, live too bloody fast sometimes, but die young? Die old. That's the way- not orthodox, I don't live by "the rules" you know. And if there's one other person who's influenced me in that way I think, someone who is a maverick, someone who does that to the system, then, it's Ian Botham. Because Beefy will happily say "that's what I think of your selection policy, yes I've hit the odd copper, yes I've enjoyed the old dooby, but will you piss off and leave me alone, I'm walking to John O'Groats for some spastics."

superflyweight wrote:I make my own rules.  People see me, and they see the suit, and they go: "you're not fooling anyone", they know I'm rock and roll through and through. But you know that old thing, live fast, die young? Not my way. Live fast, sure, live too bloody fast sometimes, but die young? Die old. That's the way- not orthodox, I don't live by "the rules" you know. And if there's one other person who's influenced me in that way I think, someone who is a maverick, someone who does that to the system, then, it's Ian Botham. Because Beefy will happily say "that's what I think of your selection policy, yes I've hit the odd copper, yes I've enjoyed the old dooby, but will you piss off and leave me alone, I'm walking to John O'Groats for some spastics."

L*l out loud.

Who would we all be if we were Office characters?

I'm calling Galted as Gareth straight away. As the kids would say, FACT.

Jules is Malcolm.

Sean is Finchy.

Shah is Sanjay (or is it the other "one").

I'd say Super is Finchy. Tino is Jeff Lamp.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:Jules is Malcolm.

l*l out loud

Galted wrote:I'd say Super is Finchy.  Tino is Jeff Lamp.

L*L out loud.

I reckon Sean is Jimmy the Perv.

Look at Jeff Lamp, 42 and owns his own Porsche.

superflyweight wrote:Look at Jeff Lamp, 42 and owns his own Porsche.  

Funnily enough, one of those facts is bang on.

I think you want to be Tim, Super, but the truth is closer to The Ogmonster.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

superflyweight wrote:Look at Jeff Lamp, 42 and owns his own Porsche.  

Funnily enough, one of those facts is bang on.

I think you want to be Tim, Super, but the truth is closer to The Ogmonster.

Yeah, I thought I remembered that you're a few months older than me. I'm not a goggle eyed freak.

Everyone wants to be Tim, but I'll settle for Neil's right hand man in Swindon. Bloody good man, ex Army.

superflyweight wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

superflyweight wrote:Look at Jeff Lamp, 42 and owns his own Porsche.  

Funnily enough, one of those facts is bang on.

I think you want to be Tim, Super, but the truth is closer to The Ogmonster.

Yeah, I thought I remembered that you're a few months older than me.  I'm not a goggle eyed freak.

Everyone wants to be Tim, but I'll settle for Neil's right hand man in Swindon.  Bloody good man, ex Army.  

You're rolling out some pretty niche quotes now. Good work.

In his absence, I'm calling it that Rick is Eric "I don't agree with that in workplace" Hitchmough from the Coventry conference.

superflyweight wrote:In his absence, I'm calling it that Rick is Eric "I don't agree with that in workplace" Hitchmough from the Coventry conference.  

Quite often, an amateur will upstage the professional.

Agree with Tino, some excellent quoting there. Rowley would've been greatly pleased if he were humble enough to remember where he started out.

For some reason the "replace a word in a film title with Willy" thread popped into my head the other day. Was probably thinking about hamptons.

Scent of Willy still makes me laugh a lot.

superflyweight wrote:For some reason the "replace a word in a film title with Willy" thread popped into my head the other day.  Was probably thinking about hamptons.  

Scent of Willy still makes me laugh a lot.  

Sorry to keep harping on about Tw*tter but a similar but more pompous one was doing the rounds yesterday, you had to replace a word in a film title with 'vagina'.  Read a few of them, were along the lines of the 'willy' thread but nowhere near as funny.  Impressed to find out though what great innovators we were Tino was.  Maybe Jeff nicked some material to become a Tw*tter superstar.

Harry Vagina and The Chamber of Secrets.

Pretty much how it was.

Vagina: First Blood & A Dry White Vagina did come to mind.

Beer never pops in any more, since he left his Alastair username behind

Just realised 'Harry Vagina' is a pun on 'hairy Vagina', belated l*l out loud.

Phew - for a minute there I thought I was the only one with such a puerile mind.

Return of the fist.

Morning

Success, we have channelled Rick through Tino.

Tird. Rick wasn't away long enough for him to officially be declared dead. More likely, as we grammar police like to say, he was in a comma.

Reminds me of the time our inquisitive cat got 'accidentally' locked in a neighbour's garage for 5 days; however, Rick's absence was almost twice as long! He was so glad to see us (when someone heard a faint miaow and opened the door) but the more I think about it... he was probably just very, very hungry. He vomited up his dinner that night from memory.

What's going down guys? Have I missed much? Anyone else back from the dead?

superflyweight wrote:For some reason the "replace a word in a film title with Willy" thread popped into my head the other day.  Was probably thinking about hamptons.  

Scent of Willy still makes me laugh a lot.  

That was so funny that thread. The glory days of v2.

A Fistful of Willy was a standout for me.

Morning rICk. I was hoping you were dead so I had some company.

I'm dying to make a smart-arsed quip on the "Performing Under Pressure" thread in the golf section.

Jules, he specifically mentions "in front of large crowds". How about Bowie and Freddie during Live Aid? What do you think? It's not golf I know...

Sorry Tino, not checked in to the great Floatel in the sky yet.

Were you quarantined in a hotel, rick... or just taking a well-earned break?

Pal Joey wrote:I'm dying to make a smart-arsed quip on the "Performing Under Pressure" thread in the golf section.

Jules, he specifically mentions "in front of large crowds". How about Bowie and Freddie during Live Aid? What do you think? It's not golf I know...

You want a snappy comeback for something somebody wrote a week ago?

JuliusHMarx wrote:

Pal Joey wrote:I'm dying to make a smart-arsed quip on the "Performing Under Pressure" thread in the golf section.

Jules, he specifically mentions "in front of large crowds". How about Bowie and Freddie during Live Aid? What do you think? It's not golf I know...

You want a snappy comeback for something somebody wrote a week ago?

What's time got to do with it?

Pal Joey wrote:

JuliusHMarx wrote:

Pal Joey wrote:I'm dying to make a smart-arsed quip on the "Performing Under Pressure" thread in the golf section.

Jules, he specifically mentions "in front of large crowds". How about Bowie and Freddie during Live Aid? What do you think? It's not golf I know...

You want a snappy comeback for something somebody wrote a week ago?

What's time got to do with it?

What's time but a second hand emotion?

Pal Joey wrote:Were you quarantined in a hotel, rick... or just taking a well-earned break?

Was just daft busy for a week mate, back to (the new) normal, now.

rick_dagless wrote:

Pal Joey wrote:Were you quarantined in a hotel, rick... or just taking a well-earned break?

Was just daft busy for a week mate, back to (the new) normal, now.

You could at least have faxed us to let us know you weren't dead.

Apologies, Jules, I will train a pigeon in the appropriate manner in case of global apocalypse.

I'm toying with the idea of introducing a post-lunch fist.

Post-lunch self-unmichaelsing fist! Get in there!

JuliusHMarx wrote:I'm toying with the idea of introducing a post-lunch fist.

Great, just when I was ready to go public with my evening-fist idea.

There is no such thing as a stupid Fist, Fist.

Thanks Rick, good to have your free legal advice back with us.

Got your back as always, Galts.

How you keeping?