Music Section Morning Tea Society

First topic message reminder :

Quickest thread split since December '63. Great work Frankie.

Pal Joey wrote:That's great news, Guildford. Let us know if there are any side effects.

Nice morning here. I'm just about to leave and replace a broken garden hose nozzle across town. Or at least try and determine what's causing the uneven spray and water trickling problem. I'm sure it's nothing I can't fix with the help of Skippy.

If Skippy can't help, call Flipper.

JuliusHMarx wrote:

Pal Joey wrote:That's great news, Guildford. Let us know if there are any side effects.

Nice morning here. I'm just about to leave and replace a broken garden hose nozzle across town. Or at least try and determine what's causing the uneven spray and water trickling problem. I'm sure it's nothing I can't fix with the help of Skippy.

If Skippy can't help, call Flipper.

What would Garry Pankhurst be doing with Flipper?

Thanks, Joey. See what you did there.

PS Should I be saying fist now?

guildfordbat wrote:

JuliusHMarx wrote:

Pal Joey wrote:That's great news, Guildford. Let us know if there are any side effects.

Nice morning here. I'm just about to leave and replace a broken garden hose nozzle across town. Or at least try and determine what's causing the uneven spray and water trickling problem. I'm sure it's nothing I can't fix with the help of Skippy.

If Skippy can't help, call Flipper.

What would Garry Pankhurst be doing with Flipper?

Thanks, Joey. See what you did there.

PS Should I be saying fist now?

Yes, Flipper's stranded at present. Even if he hopped on a plane right now there's still 14 days of quarantine in an authorised Government aquarium.

Problem fixed. A cracked washer. Luckily Dad kept some spares. Also hung a few more pictures, repaired some jewellery (hopefully) and watched a spider cocoon an unlucky beetle in its huge web. Tino would be impressed with it. The radius is huge... about one meter and perfectly circular to the naked eye.

What shape is it if your eye is clothed?

Sticky fist.

Moist Sicond

Spring like tird.

Missed the f*cking podium again.

Galted wrote:Missed the f*cking podium again.

You snooze you lose

Morning, chaps, wonder if peej is busy booing the vaccine roll-out at the tennis?

rIck_dAgless wrote:Morning, chaps, wonder if peej is busy booing the vaccine roll-out at the tennis?

I saw that last night... odd behaviour. Perhaps they were booing Chairman Dan?

Up here, in Emerald City, they'd probably boo Gladys for chopping down too many Moreton Bay fig trees to make way for her rapidly expanding ego.
A mate of mine went to primary school with her. Apparently they went to the same church... Armenian Orthodox. She was always very quiet and shy back then - but not now. Her voice can cut through steel. She's never done anything wrong in her life. That's really amazing when you think about it.

Sh*t on here today. Had an eventful morning myself. Some f*cking moron left the back door open and one of dogs decided to take itself off for a walk.

I've spent 2.5 hours this morning walking round the farmers fields and through the woods looking for the b*stard thing. Found it in the end covered in mud and looking sorry for itself. Took the twins with me and called it a geography lesson.

I was stumped by PJ's post to be honest. Left thinking who the feck is Gladys and is Emerald City an actual place or a nickname?

When I was growing up we had a Dachshund and I used to walk him around some meadows. Any time the little fecker wanted some time to himself he would just swim across the river. He would come home eventually, that or the woman who ran the local riding stables would bring him back.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:Sh*t on here today. Had an eventful morning myself. Some f*cking moron left the back door open and one of dogs decided to take itself off for a walk.

I've spent 2.5 hours this morning walking round the farmers fields and through the woods looking for the b*stard thing. Found it in the end covered in mud and looking sorry for itself. Took the twins with me and called it a geography lesson.

There won't have been a better Geography lesson taught today.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:Sh*t on here today. Had an eventful morning myself. Some f*cking moron left the back door open and one of dogs decided to take itself off for a walk.

I've spent 2.5 hours this morning walking round the farmers fields and through the woods looking for the b*stard thing. Found it in the end covered in mud and looking sorry for itself. Took the twins with me and called it a geography lesson.

One of our dogs (a mastiff/boerboel cross) went for a walk on its own back in the day.  After much panic I figured out, with help from the odd passerby, that she was taking the exact route we'd normally take when we took the dogs for a stroll.  At the end of it was a police dog training facility and a sign saying 'no dogs past this point' (which presumably meant civilian dogs).  Found her sitting peacefully under the sign.

On another occasion I was off for a fishing trip with my Dad and brother.  We were due to leave about 4 in the morning and our other dog, a little mongrel, escaped.  Chased her around the neighbourhood for nearly an hour before I got hold of the little bitch and held her upside down and swore at her as punishment on the walk home.  Ocassionally a car would pass, don't know what they thought of the lunatic out torturing his dog in the dark.  Spent the whole fishing trip worried that the dog or I might die and her last memory of me would be me being a c*nt.

Galted wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:Sh*t on here today. Had an eventful morning myself. Some f*cking moron left the back door open and one of dogs decided to take itself off for a walk.

I've spent 2.5 hours this morning walking round the farmers fields and through the woods looking for the b*stard thing. Found it in the end covered in mud and looking sorry for itself. Took the twins with me and called it a geography lesson.

One of our dogs (a mastiff/boerboel cross) went for a walk on its own back in the day.  After much panic I figured out, with help from the odd passerby, that she was taking the exact route we'd normally take when we took the dogs for a stroll.  At the end of it was a police dog training facility and a sign saying 'no dogs past this point' (which presumably meant civilian dogs).  Found her sitting peacefully under the sign.

On another occasion I was off for a fishing trip with my Dad and brother.  We were due to leave about 4 in the morning and our other dog, a little mongrel, escaped.  Chased her around the neighbourhood for nearly an hour before I got hold of the little bitch and held her upside down and swore at her as punishment on the walk home.  Ocassionally a car would pass, don't know what they thought of the lunatic out torturing his dog in the dark.  Spent the whole fishing trip worried that the dog or I might die and her last memory of me would be me being a c*nt.

Did you console yourself with a quick sh@g with a local hooker?

JuliusHMarx wrote:

Galted wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:Sh*t on here today. Had an eventful morning myself. Some f*cking moron left the back door open and one of dogs decided to take itself off for a walk.

I've spent 2.5 hours this morning walking round the farmers fields and through the woods looking for the b*stard thing. Found it in the end covered in mud and looking sorry for itself. Took the twins with me and called it a geography lesson.

One of our dogs (a mastiff/boerboel cross) went for a walk on its own back in the day.  After much panic I figured out, with help from the odd passerby, that she was taking the exact route we'd normally take when we took the dogs for a stroll.  At the end of it was a police dog training facility and a sign saying 'no dogs past this point' (which presumably meant civilian dogs).  Found her sitting peacefully under the sign.

On another occasion I was off for a fishing trip with my Dad and brother.  We were due to leave about 4 in the morning and our other dog, a little mongrel, escaped.  Chased her around the neighbourhood for nearly an hour before I got hold of the little bitch and held her upside down and swore at her as punishment on the walk home.  Ocassionally a car would pass, don't know what they thought of the lunatic out torturing his dog in the dark.  Spent the whole fishing trip worried that the dog or I might die and her last memory of me would be me being a c*nt.

Did you console yourself with a quick sh@g with a local hooker?

Fist.

Nope, I'm more likely to console myself by fishing or torturing dogs after a quick sh@g with the local hooker.

But only after a marathon drinking session with a former housemate near Shoreditch.

Sicond.

Pal Joey wrote:But only after a marathon drinking session with a former housemate near Shoreditch.  

I think we can all agree that when when Galted says "housemate", he means the voices in his head.

Unseasonably early tird for me.

Tied up on the Covid boards leading to a late entry here. Morning all.

lostinwales wrote:Tied up on the Covid boards leading to a late entry here. Morning all.

Morning champ. Hope you wore a mask on your commute from the bedroom to the "office".

Stay safe kids.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Pal Joey wrote:But only after a marathon drinking session with a former housemate near Shoreditch.  

I think we can all agree that when when Galted says "housemate", he means the voices in his head.

Unseasonably early tird for me.

My housemate told me to skin you alive.

Galted wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Pal Joey wrote:But only after a marathon drinking session with a former housemate near Shoreditch.  

I think we can all agree that when when Galted says "housemate", he means the voices in his head.

Unseasonably early tird for me.

My housemate told me to skin you alive.

Wingrove? Is that you?

I see ONETWO has got himself all confused on the boxing board and thinks that Windy is posting from beyond the grave.

Afternoon all, combo of PDR and f***ing e-learning are the reasons i am late.

rIck_dAgless wrote:Afternoon all, combo of PDR and f***ing e-learning are the reasons i am late.

I did all my e learning in the 90's. Learned how to grind my teeth anyway.

superflyweight wrote:I see ONETWO has got himself all confused on the boxing board and thinks that Windy is posting from beyond the grave.  

A long dead Windy still makes more sense than ONEBALL ever did.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

rIck_dAgless wrote:Afternoon all, combo of PDR and f***ing e-learning are the reasons i am late.

I did all my e learning in the 90's. Learned how to grind my teeth anyway.

The View?

rIck_dAgless wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

rIck_dAgless wrote:Afternoon all, combo of PDR and f***ing e-learning are the reasons i am late.

I did all my e learning in the 90's. Learned how to grind my teeth anyway.

The View?

Many times! Only way to get through a night there occasionally.

Should have tried the Reading Rooms in Dundee - they practically sold them behind the bar.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

superflyweight wrote:I see ONETWO has got himself all confused on the boxing board and thinks that Windy is posting from beyond the grave.  

A long dead Windy still makes more sense than ONEBALL ever did.

Onepunch was always the superior user with "one" in his name. He claimed to be able to knock out any living person with one punch.

That's how you end up with big red hands.

rIck_dAgless wrote:That's how you end up with big red hands.

That was a genuinely funny wind-up post. Up there with Spring.

Got my PDR in a few weeks - am thinking of going in hard and adopting a bombastic Amercian based approach e.g. clients don't chase me, I chase them.  You fear my methods, but I get resuts goddammit!

superflyweight wrote:Got my PDR in a few weeks - am thinking of going in hard and adopting a bombastic American based approach e.g. clients don't chase me, I chase them.  You fear my methods, but I get results goddammit!

If they ask you what your unique approach to dealing with clients is, tell them "Laughter and lunches and tickets and fun."

superflyweight wrote:Got my PDR in a few weeks - am thinking of going in hard and adopting a bombastic Amercian based approach e.g. clients don't chase me, I chase them.  You fear my methods, but I get resuts goddammit!

Got mine soon as well. Going to give myself a glowing appraisal. Not really sure there is anything I can improve on.

Will be recommending a massive pay rise as well. Unfortunately we don't have any money coming in so going to have to defer it for a few years.

I've been doing my teams, and generally if they don't give f**k neither do i and we just polish it to get through HR.

rIck_dAgless wrote:I've been doing my teams, and generally if they don't give f**k neither do i and we just polish it to get through HR.

Are you the big dog at your firm then? I am now picturing you as the Al Pacino character in Devils Advocate.

Some good quotes from "Industry" for you, Tino:

I try to replace the alibis of exceptionality that masquerade as self-knowledge. (on how you deal with younger staff)

The only agency I have in a stagnant system are the single choices that I make, and the cumulative effect of making the correct ones more often than not.

I try to prevent making unilateral decisions in airless rooms.

Well, as you are all aware; we have answered "Too Big to Fail" by making bigger banks.

In the interests of time - let’s move on... shall we?

Put your phone away! (say this to an underling if you see them look down towards their lap at any time)

Avoid the use of the following words and phrases:

Team Player
Add Value
At the end of the day… to be honest with you
Paradigm shift
Synergy
The bottom line
Let's peel back the onion
We don't need to reinvent the wheel
Just thinking outside the box...
Thought leadership
Raise the bar
Optics
Efficacy


I'm sure there are others....

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

rIck_dAgless wrote:I've been doing my teams, and generally if they don't give f**k neither do i and we just polish it to get through HR.

Are you the big dog at your firm then? I am now picturing you as the Al Pacino character in Devils Advocate.

Very much a bang average dog, I'm afraid Tino.

French Poodle fist.

Shih Tzu sicond.

Dog tird.

Good morning gentlemen, are we all well?

All's good. Sunny day, cricket on the tv and a cat biting away at my feet. How are things in the savage north?

What is with all the early morning activity?

Cricket is not going that well...

I've been invited for my first vaccine next week. I'm only 43 and neither unwell or a bloater. No idea why I've been selected this early.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:I've been invited for my first vaccine next week. I'm only 43 and neither unwell or a bloater. No idea why I've been selected this early.

I'm going for mine later today, I'll ask them why you've been selected.

I'm not England's chances of winning the series in India.