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Pal Joey wrote:

Galted wrote:

alfie wrote:A nice try by Galted and his shark to reinvigorate this thread ; but judging by the last six day's work I am beginning to suspect my ill-advised attempt to stick my head in has effectively killed it  : apologies all round  

Of course PJ and Tino (maybe he really was eaten by a bear ?) seem to be missing so perhaps all is not lost yet ...

Rick's the one with the shark, I've got a cat.

Tino often dies but I'm starting to worry about PJ, hope he hasn't been eaten by a wombat.

I did get cornered in the garden but I managed to negotiate my release with the offer of some old carrots... which I just happened to have in my pockets at the time.
I was warned, however, to make sure I brought fresh broccoli next time... or else.

Bit disturbing, I think PJ's mind's been taken over by a Ophiocordyceps unilateralis. This one likes broccoli.

Sh*t on here today.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:Sh*t on here today.

That's what I said.

My thoughts at the moment.

Galted wrote:My thoughts at the moment.

...are with the families and friends of the victims.

I hope we can come together as a community.

Maybe Starmer can send some volunteers to help
Fist.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:This is all too soon. I really didn't have Superfly down as a boy band member.

Does explain all his celebrity anecdotes though. My favourite being his sister getting bummed by one of The Proclaimers. That zinger had a midget involved as well but I can't recall in what capacity.

I'm not a boy band member and nor am I Alex Salmond (and Rick is correct that I didn't meet Salmond as I was too 'cool' to go to any of the Law Balls - I can't remember specific reasons as to why I didn't go, but I was probably too busy watching soft porn on Bravo or Granada Men & Motors).

As far as I'm aware my sister has never been bummed by one of the Proclaimers (or two of the Proclaimers for that matter) and neither has any of my immediate family. Although I don't speak to my sisters and dad all that often so I can't be absolutely certain. My mum prefers Wet Wet Wet.

She was a dwarf and not a midget and to my knowledge, no one engaged in sexual relations with that woman (god rest her soul) except one (or possibly both if they pulled the old switcheroo) of the Proclaimers.

superflyweight wrote:My mum prefers Wet Wet Wet.

She certainly did when I met her.

JuliusHMarx wrote:

superflyweight wrote:My mum prefers Wet Wet Wet.

She certainly did when I met her.

Quite frankly - I'd be disappointed if any of you had missed that open goal (and that one).

superflyweight wrote:
She was a dwarf and not a midget.

What's the difference?

Galted wrote:

superflyweight wrote:
She was a dwarf and not a midget.

What's the difference?

I don't think midget-tossing is an official sport.

alfie wrote:

Galted wrote:

superflyweight wrote:
She was a dwarf and not a midget.

What's the difference?

I don't think midget-tossing is an official sport.

It is up north - it went professional in the early 1900s when it split from the more traditional dwarf-tossing.  It was played in most working-class northern towns until the 80s until the when advances in technology and labour relations led to many northerners becoming work-shy drunken b*stards.  Although numbers of participants have dropped significantly, the sport is still practised in villages such as Rotherham, Runcorn and Newcastle though instead of being thrown at a traditional target mounted on a wall, the midgets are set alight and hurled at hostels housing immigrants.

I can't remember anybody going on about budgies all the time so I don't think anybody was Geoff Capes

Rare fist

Galted wrote:

alfie wrote:

Galted wrote:

superflyweight wrote:
She was a dwarf and not a midget.

What's the difference?

I don't think midget-tossing is an official sport.

It is up north - it went professional in the early 1900s when it split from the more traditional dwarf-tossing.  It was played in most working-class northern towns until the 80s until the when advances in technology and labour relations led to many northerners becoming work-shy drunken b*stards.  Although numbers of participants have dropped significantly, the sport is still practised in villages such as Rotherham, Runcorn and Newcastle though instead of being thrown at a traditional target mounted on a wall, the midgets are set alight and hurled at hostels housing immigrants.

Interesting. Could then be a possible addition to a future Commonwealth Games , should one be held in Runcorn ?

Dwarves have big heads a la Dinklage, midgets are proportioned, a la Mini Me.

Fist.

So what's an elf?

Fist.

Depends on the universe and associated lore..

Fist

Thursday punch up?

lostinwales wrote:Thursday punch up?

Until the when.

lostinwales wrote:Thursday punch up?

I couldn't possibly get into a fight with Galt's, it would be like being savaged to death by the Andrex Puppy.

rIck_dAgless wrote:

lostinwales wrote:Thursday punch up?

I couldn't possibly get into a fight with Galt's, it would be like being savaged to death by the Andrex Puppy.

I'd smash you over the head with a bottle of kale-based smoothie.

Galted wrote:

rIck_dAgless wrote:

lostinwales wrote:Thursday punch up?

I couldn't possibly get into a fight with Galt's, it would be like being savaged to death by the Andrex Puppy.

I'd smash you over the head with a bottle of kale-based smoothie.

Fate worse than death, I'll pass.

rIck_dAgless wrote:Dwarves have big heads a la Dinklage, midgets are proportioned, a la Mini Me.

Fist.

Not only does Dinklage have a big head ,he has a big brain, if you have ever heard him weigh in on social issues over the last few years.

Gnome Chomsky, as it were

Top work.

rIck_dAgless wrote:Top work.

Great stand-in grooming, Rick, seeing as our regular groomer appears to be dead again.

Lesh is (no) more.

Bet he's grateful for that.

Galted wrote:

alfie wrote:

Galted wrote:

superflyweight wrote:
She was a dwarf and not a midget.

What's the difference?

I don't think midget-tossing is an official sport.

It is up north - it went professional in the early 1900s when it split from the more traditional dwarf-tossing.  It was played in most working-class northern towns until the 80s until the when advances in technology and labour relations led to many northerners becoming work-shy drunken b*stards.  Although numbers of participants have dropped significantly, the sport is still practised in villages such as Rotherham, Runcorn and Newcastle though instead of being thrown at a traditional target mounted on a wall, the midgets are set alight and hurled at hostels housing immigrants.

Delightful to see Runcorn described as a village. It has plenty of idiots so you could be on to something. It only has marginally less nonces than Rotherham but I'm happy we are famous for sh*te tv shows with Ralf Little, a sh*tty bridge that has the audacity to deliver you to a town actually worse than the one you're leaving in either direction and Luke Littler who we consider an 'athlete'.

I've actually just been there for a few days hence the latest death. Met up with Captain Andy on one occasion. I can't confirm whether he is still sticking his fingers up girls bums but I suspect he is. With or without their consent. I avoided shaking his hand to be safe.

Popped into Frodsham and delighted to see rICk'S phone number is still scribbled on the toilet door in The Bears Paw. He hasn't answered my message so must be adhering to the rules.

More of a Bulls Head/Cholmondeley Arms guy, but glad to see the traditions going strong.

Fist

This was nothing to do with me either

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c0qdzqjlq2ko

But does go to show that you shouldn't f*ck around with anyone from Runcorn. Even our MPs are double hard b*stards.

It is only the Scots who I fear in a straightener. Although I suspect Supes would fight like a 6 year old girl.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:This was nothing to do with me either

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c0qdzqjlq2ko

But does go to show that you shouldn't f*ck around with anyone from Runcorn. Even our MPs are double hard b*stards.

It is only the Scots who I fear in a straightener. Although I suspect Supes would fight like a 6 year old girl.

Yeah, but a Scottish 6 year old girl!

superflyweight wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:This was nothing to do with me either

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c0qdzqjlq2ko

But does go to show that you shouldn't f*ck around with anyone from Runcorn. Even our MPs are double hard b*stards.

It is only the Scots who I fear in a straightener. Although I suspect Supes would fight like a 6 year old girl.

Yeah, but a Scottish 6 year old girl!

I once saw a girl not much older than 10-11 huffing glue on the Lawhill

superflyweight wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:This was nothing to do with me either

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c0qdzqjlq2ko

But does go to show that you shouldn't f*ck around with anyone from Runcorn. Even our MPs are double hard b*stards.

It is only the Scots who I fear in a straightener. Although I suspect Supes would fight like a 6 year old girl.

Yeah, but a Scottish 6 year old girl!

Well played.

rIck_dAgless wrote:

superflyweight wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:This was nothing to do with me either

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c0qdzqjlq2ko

But does go to show that you shouldn't f*ck around with anyone from Runcorn. Even our MPs are double hard b*stards.

It is only the Scots who I fear in a straightener. Although I suspect Supes would fight like a 6 year old girl.

Yeah, but a Scottish 6 year old girl!

I once saw a girl not much older than 10-11 huffing glue on the Lawhill

10 or 11 but with the lungs of a 67 year old.

rIck_dAgless wrote:More of a Bulls Head/Cholmondeley Arms guy, but glad to see the traditions going strong.

Fist

Is that pronounced Cholomondeley or Cholmondeley, chum?

Well that michaelsing lasted longer than the loaf of bread I bought on Tuesday.

Fistus.

Good work on the double-michaelsing PJ, sean would be so proud if he wasn't lying sh*tfaced next to a ride-on mower.

Fist.

Galted wrote:Good work on the double-michaelsing PJ, sean would be so proud if he wasn't lying sh*tfaced next to a ride-on mower.

Fist.

Thanks Big G.

I was worried all of you had gone on holidays together to Valencia.

Pal Joey wrote:

Galted wrote:Good work on the double-michaelsing PJ, sean would be so proud if he wasn't lying sh*tfaced next to a ride-on mower.

Fist.

Thanks Big G.

I was worried all of you had gone on holidays together to Valencia.

I was in Tenerife, so it was a close call. Not enough people feel sorry for me when they see the flood devastation.

Galted wrote:

Pal Joey wrote:

Galted wrote:Good work on the double-michaelsing PJ, sean would be so proud if he wasn't lying sh*tfaced next to a ride-on mower.

Fist.

Thanks Big G.

I was worried all of you had gone on holidays together to Valencia.

I was in Tenerife, so it was a close call.  Not enough people feel sorry for me when they see the flood devastation.

I was in Venice. The water was everywhere.

JuliusHMarx wrote:

Galted wrote:

Pal Joey wrote:

Galted wrote:Good work on the double-michaelsing PJ, sean would be so proud if he wasn't lying sh*tfaced next to a ride-on mower.

Fist.

Thanks Big G.

I was worried all of you had gone on holidays together to Valencia.

I was in Tenerife, so it was a close call.  Not enough people feel sorry for me when they see the flood devastation.

I was in Venice. The water was everywhere.

I was in Birmingham, there was even more.

rIck_dAgless wrote:

JuliusHMarx wrote:

Galted wrote:

Pal Joey wrote:

Galted wrote:Good work on the double-michaelsing PJ, sean would be so proud if he wasn't lying sh*tfaced next to a ride-on mower.

Fist.

Thanks Big G.

I was worried all of you had gone on holidays together to Valencia.

I was in Tenerife, so it was a close call.  Not enough people feel sorry for me when they see the flood devastation.

I was in Venice. The water was everywhere.

I was in Birmingham, there was even more.

I was in Mrs Superfly. It was relatively moist.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

rIck_dAgless wrote:

JuliusHMarx wrote:

Galted wrote:

Pal Joey wrote:

Galted wrote:Good work on the double-michaelsing PJ, sean would be so proud if he wasn't lying sh*tfaced next to a ride-on mower.

Fist.

Thanks Big G.

I was worried all of you had gone on holidays together to Valencia.

I was in Tenerife, so it was a close call.  Not enough people feel sorry for me when they see the flood devastation.

I was in Venice. The water was everywhere.

I was in Birmingham, there was even more.

I was in Mrs Superfly. It was relatively moist.

Strange. She's usually sopping wet.

I don't think the local rugby team had turned up yet.

What a load of b*llocks, everyone knows that Venice is a mythical city. Julius must think I'm pretty f*cking thick.

Went to Venice for a conference once. It was in July. I wouldn't go back there in July again

Galted wrote:What a load of b*llocks, everyone knows that Venice is a mythical city. Julius must think I'm pretty f*cking thick.

He's not alone.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Galted wrote:What a load of b*llocks, everyone knows that Venice is a mythical city. Julius must think I'm pretty f*cking thick.

He's not alone.

I should hope not, loneliness amongst the elderly is no joking matter.

lostinwales wrote:Went to Venice for a conference once. It was in July. I wouldn't go back there in July again

I imagine it must be fairly popular with mosquitoes.

Galted wrote:

lostinwales wrote:Went to Venice for a conference once. It was in July. I wouldn't go back there in July again

I imagine it must be fairly popular with mosquitoes.

I believe they fly backwards after biting you.

(sorry... an old WW1 joke)