Random Factor... Like A Tractor

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Random factor, like a tractor...
by luckless_pedestrian on Sat 28 May 2011, 5:06 pm

Hello. Following its roaring success on the old 606 (winner of six Luckies*) I thought I'd provide a space on 606v2 for you to post any irrelevant little things you fancy sharing.

I'll start: I've always had trouble with the line 'Love grows where my Rosemary goes.' If they'd chosen another name like Anne or Susan there'd be no problem, but rosemary's a herb so it could be 'Love goes where my rosemary grows.'

And it's no less annoying now than it was the first time isn't it.

I notice the music but not what they're saying over it. They could be saying all sorts and I wouldn't know.

And here's Beyonce with her new single, 'Let me Bellow at you.'

Lovely bellows on her. In fairness.

"Those aren't bellows!"

Blow me a kiss then.

OMG. LOL. That was sooo wrong.

Just blow me then. Please.

Ah ya sweet talkin' basterd

Anyting it takes PJ. Im feicin there man.

Love da bones of yer jib, big man.

Its not proper I tell ya. Not proper atall atall atall

Wrong on so many levels, and yet feels so right.

Like pokin yer sister-in-law.

Or so I've been told like.

Back at ya soulman.

Abusing yer sister-in-law, is normally just a virtual mental condom, to really get the Facts of Life across to yer bro.
Everyone knows that don't they?

Thank phhok this is a random tractor. Otherwise, Id look silly without a straw-hat. Id have to jump off and run. Phew!

Straw feckin hat! Man that's off the feckin wall. Love ya like a brother ya loon.

I wandered lonely... as a cloud...


You basterds! Get off my personal cloud man.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O3F4GmbHl5g&feature=player_detailpage

I know we didn't see eye to eye all the time, but he wasn't a bad old fecker...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qE66txjCJYM&feature=player_detailpage

Pleased to meet you Sir.

Hope you guessed my name...

Im yer bad bro come home to roost. My name is Mary. Ive changed since. Just dont call me a girl. Or early in de mornin. I kill people who wake me up before my time.

I loved her though. Didn't mean it Osscifer. Honest.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v0if87pp8m8&feature=player_detailpage

Damn good hands on the boy Gallagher, he could play the guitar like ringin' a bell...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rx07A9LWBJA&feature=player_detailpage

Love it. Shagged to that man... But, I was quicker then

So many X-Factor kids listening to bad tribute bands now. YOU tell em!

But, what the phhok has this to do with tractors anyway?

OK, I get it. Its random... but, where's me tractor?
Is that me arse? Where's me elbow?

Luckless Pedestrian Rocks. Ive met him. Top alternative geezer.

This is for the Man. And his thread.

I love De Dan.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tllhmK9g4G4&feature=player_detailpage

If you weren't here - you'll never know.

Happy Happy Happy Happy talk. Talkin bout tings we like to do...

You're right brudder from anudder mudder, scratch my last post (cue bugles) and it's gone.

PJ. How are you at quizes mo chara?

For later Ron...
https://www.606v2.com/t14004p150-quiz-questions

Chewbacca the net.

My bad (grammar)

Prince Charles turned up at the horse races in Ayr wearing a red, furry headpiece with a rodent like snout and tiny claws sticking out.

A bloke came up to him and asked him what he was wearing.

He replied: "when I told mumsie I was going to Ayr, she said "wear the fox hat"".

Are you suggesting Her Majesty doesn't know where Ayr is? I'm going to tell her and she's going to chop your bullocks off.

Food Halls

Dishes from the four corners of the World! Left half-eaten, on paper plates, stacked up, on formica tables.

The food hall, or food court: the most monstrous part of the already desperate shopping centre experience. It's like a horrible accident at an MSG factory.

And always, as well as the usual suspects, there are outlets that you will never see outside of food halls. Singapore Sam Express. Quinzo's Sub. What is that? Who is this Quinzo? What is this for? Who are these people? WHAT DO THEY WANT FROM ME?

And don't even get me started on IKEA!


(c) Is It Just Me or is Everything Schit? (amended to bypass Moderators!) by Steve Lowe and Alan MCarthur

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yl2rU09KIdg&feature=player_detailpage

IKEA? That paragon of the home furnishing retail experience?

The one with the shop right by the exit selling dodgy Swedish produce?

"Would you like to try our Swedish meatballs sir?"

"Errrr no as it happens, I've just spent 2 hours being systematically herded through 3 acres of your shop which doesn't appear to cater for anyone with the remotest element of free will or desire for self-determination. "

"Furthermore, in treading the pre-defined pathway you've provided for me after having satisfied yourself I'm not intelligent enough to make my own way through your shop, I've been repeatedly hindered on my journey by moronic low-lifes so incredibly slow and obese that they would surely atomise the cheap sticks of tat you're purveying should they even think for a second that they might alight themselves upon it."

"Given that this is a home furnishings store and the home furnishings within in are of a particularly cheap and unsuitable quality AND the fact that I only came here because the missus wanted to buy some cheap feckin tealights, why the feck would I want some cruddy feckin meatballs?! If they were any feckin good I could get 'em in FECKIN TESCOS!!!"

"The rugby starts in 10 minutes, so if you and your offending meatballs don't step aside this second, I shall flense the very flesh from you bones with my teeth. Good day!"

That IKEA? Or am I thinking of something else?

The very same one. Its a dehumanising experience. Lab-rats being led through a tacky furniture maze. And all I ever ended up with are light bulbs! Phhokin light-bulbs.

But in fairness, those meatballs are unique. I think they cook em in sump-oil from the SAAB factory. The sump-oil being the best part of it.

I just give de missus the go ahead on the geld now, lurch off for a beer and tell her to have a nice trip. She loves me for it.

As long as she buys nothing I have to put up with assembling, like a tacky wardrobe - come camode, called Sven, with instructions, designed by some phhoking sadist in Botswana.

Well you ain't as green as yer grass looking Mr G.

Managed to get meself barred by Mrs Holybloke some 3 years ago now, she wouldn't take me shopping if I paid her!

Sorted.

luckless_pedestrian wrote:Are you suggesting Her Majesty doesn't know where Ayr is? I'm going to tell her and she's going to chop your bullocks off.

She loves the gee gees. Of course she knows.
And I was born 15 miles from Ayr, so I know as well.

You can tell from Princess Anne's face that the Queen might have loved the gee gees a bit too much in the past.

I think it was all a bit of horse-play really. Nothing much in it.

It's true that Her Madge loves the gee gees, but she absolutely detests the Bee Gees. Remember when she glove-slapped Barry Gibb at the Royal Variety Performance? That's where it all started.

Tragedy.

Hah.. Hah... hah... hah... stayin alive... stayin alive...

And the Lights... all went down ... in massive chewsets...

Sorry... lost it there for a bit. Do not adjust your

Glas a du wrote:Tragedy.

That was it, Glas. She wanted them to play 'Tragedy,' they insisted on playing 'You Win Again.' Well, it all kicked off. It was worth it, though, just to see Robin Gibb kick Prince Phillip in the nuts.

"narwhal man"

Crumpets and cheese - massively underated supper.

Crumpet and sauce.

Red or brown?

Brown Sauce beats Red Sauce.

Mayo be so bold as to suggest red is king?

Brown, everytime ref! Everytime.

The HP bit always it me off.

The only acceptable topping for crumpets is syrup. Put anything else on them and you'll go to hell, where Lucifer himself will force-feed you HP sauce for eternity.

I like butter and jam. Luci can take a hike.

Lucifer Sam, Siam cat,
Always sitting by your side, always by your side.
That cat's something I can't explain!

I love Status Quo.

Whatever you want.

Except HP sauce on crumpets.