The Culture Cup round 6

by Mind the windows Tino. Mon 07 Oct 2013, 11:17 am

First topic message reminder :

I said it would be Monday morning and, like my milkman, I always deliver. So here is round 6 of quite possibly the most exciting tournament ever. Before we move on to round 6 and the poll for 'The best song ever with 3 or more words in the title' lets have a look at what you could have won in round 5.

Round 5 saw the poll for 'Best piece of literature with a name in the title' and threw up some classic works of literature and no small measure of controversy with the 'missing' and 'reappearing' votes scandal throwing the integrity of the whole competition into doubt. With the mystery still unsolved and the 'missing' votes no closer to being found, I have made the decision to move on, forget the past and continue the competition. At least I am a man of extremely high integrity and moral fibre so we can proceed safe in the knowledge that the Culture Cup is still on the level. I have my finest man (Wingrove) on the case to try and find out what happened but until then, lets move forward in peace.

Round 5 was an interesting one with the votes being split across the board resulting in many posters claiming a decent points haul. Using my complicated results algorithm, you would have only needed to get 1 vote in this round to get 7 points. Sot its bad luck to Union who received no votes, no points and has subsequently seen his already slim chance of winning almost certainly disappear for good. What makes it worse it that he had some votes before 'votegate'. Life can be so cruel. Hero continues to be Mr Consistent and remains on top of the Christmas tree, just as a fairy should be. Julius had a stunning reversal in fortune with his pick of Macbeth claiming top spot for this round. A fair few posters picked up 10 points and at the half way point, the league is still within grasp for a fair few posters. Here are the runners and riders;

Hero (A Streetcar Named Desire): (10) 46
compelling & rich (Schindler's List): (9): 42
seanmichaels (Oliver Twist): (9) 38
Adam (A Christmas Carol): (10) 37
Azzy (The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes): (10) 33
onlytreblewinners (Frankenstein): (10) 32
TopHat (Romeo and Juliet): (10) 32
Galted (The World According to Garp): (7) 30
The Womble (Matilda): (10) 31
Rowley (The Picture of Dorian Grey): (10) 29
superflyweight (The Great Gatsby): (9) 29
Dolphin (Winnie the Pooh): (9) 26
The Boss (Gulliver's Travels): (10) 26
bhb (Hamlet): (7) 25
ChequeredJersey (The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn): (8) 24
jbeadlesbigrighthand (Count of Monte Cristo): (8) 23
Julius ( Macbeth): (12) 22
Union (Horace) (0) 19

Round 7 is back to films and the question is this: ~~Name the greatest film actor or actress born in the same year as you~~ Best film originally released in the decade of your birth. You can, of course, lie if you want to but I doubt any of you are that precious. I will leave it up to your conscience but please PM a couple of choices.

Here is the poll for round 6 and remember, it is open for the whole forum to vote!

PLEASE ONLY VOTE FOR 2 NOMINATIONS I don't think it will survive another voting scandal.

PLEASE SEE EDITED QUESTION FOR THE NEXT ROUND

by **seanmichaels** Thu 28 Nov 2013, 1:11 pm

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:Yep. Well done.

Good stuff. There's some top shelf clowt around the office today. Had to subtly change gear in the canteen as a result.

by Mind the windows Tino. Thu 28 Nov 2013, 1:13 pm

seanmichaels wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:Yep. Well done.
Good stuff. There's some top shelf clowt around the office today. Had to subtly change gear in the canteen as a result.

I'm not in the office. I am at the local supermarket. I have just drilled a hole through the girls toilet wall.

by **Galted** Thu 28 Nov 2013, 1:16 pm

Just knocked over the big tower of brand new pcs he'd made and two of them are pretty badly f****d. Now he's really got the hump with me.

by Mind the windows Tino. Thu 28 Nov 2013, 1:17 pm

Galted wrote:Just knocked over the big tower of brand new pcs he'd made and two of them are pretty badly f****d. Now he's really got the hump with me.

Towers of PC's. Boxes of memory delivered.

Your office sounds rock and roll.

by **seanmichaels** Thu 28 Nov 2013, 1:20 pm

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
Galted wrote:Just knocked over the big tower of brand new pcs he'd made and two of them are pretty badly f****d. Now he's really got the hump with me.
Towers of PC's. Boxes of memory delivered.

Your office sounds rock and roll.

What are Robert Dyas doing for their staff this Christmas?

by **Galted** Thu 28 Nov 2013, 1:20 pm

It's mental. Each of us has a Wasp scanner. And I've got two staplers.

by **Galted** Thu 28 Nov 2013, 1:21 pm

seanmichaels wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
Galted wrote:Just knocked over the big tower of brand new pcs he'd made and two of them are pretty badly f****d. Now he's really got the hump with me.
Towers of PC's. Boxes of memory delivered.

Your office sounds rock and roll.
What are Robert Dyas doing for their staff this Christmas?

Giving them overtime presumably.

by Mind the windows Tino. Thu 28 Nov 2013, 1:23 pm

Galted wrote:It's mental. Each of us has a Wasp scanner. And I've got two staplers.

What's a Wasp scanner?

Can we get this back to arthropods?

by **Galted** Thu 28 Nov 2013, 1:24 pm

Can do. A Wasp scanner is a scanner made by Wasp Technologies. They're black and yellow.

by Mind the windows Tino. Thu 28 Nov 2013, 1:25 pm

Galted wrote:Can do. A Wasp scanner is a scanner made by Wasp Technologies. They're black and yellow.

Cool.

by **seanmichaels** Thu 28 Nov 2013, 1:25 pm

Galted wrote:It's mental. Each of us has a Wasp scanner. And I've got two staplers.

I used to have the biggest whole puncher in the office but someone has commited larceny with it. Used to be able to through over 50 sheets.

by **seanmichaels** Thu 28 Nov 2013, 1:26 pm

Galted wrote:Can do. A Wasp scanner is a scanner made by Wasp Technologies. They're black and yellow.

Like the ones you get in Tesco's that don't work?

by **seanmichaels** Thu 28 Nov 2013, 1:29 pm

Spoiler:

by **Galted** Thu 28 Nov 2013, 1:30 pm

seanmichaels wrote:
Galted wrote:Can do. A Wasp scanner is a scanner made by Wasp Technologies. They're black and yellow.
Like the ones you get in Tesco's that don't work?

These ones work. I lobbed mine across the office so hard the battery came out a while ago when I realised that there was salsa in my chicken burrito and it still works fine.

by **Galted** Thu 28 Nov 2013, 1:32 pm

seanmichaels wrote:
Spoiler:

I got a decent shot of two millipedes having it off when I was on holiday, not sure how to post it though. Would be porn for Tino. Either that or they were fighting.

by **seanmichaels** Thu 28 Nov 2013, 1:40 pm

Galted wrote:
seanmichaels wrote:
Spoiler:
I got a decent shot of two millipedes having it off when I was on holiday, not sure how to post it though. Would be porn for Tino. Either that or they were fighting.

control printscreen, paste on paint and save as a jpeg then host it. Or if you're an IT professional, log off and log back on again and see if it works.

by Mind the windows Tino. Thu 28 Nov 2013, 1:48 pm

Galted wrote:Would be porn for Tino.

Please post it.

Incidentally, I watched a giant Asian centipede taking down a tarantula last night on youtube. It was one of the most impressive pieces of hunting I have ever seen.

by **Galted** Thu 28 Nov 2013, 1:49 pm

Is "paste on paint" something you just made up, michaels?

Will try to post it tonight as I'm a bit limited at work. Hope I haven't built it up too much as I'd hate for you to be disappointed, Tino.

by Mind the windows Tino. Thu 28 Nov 2013, 1:51 pm

Galted wrote:Is "paste on paint" something you just made up, michaels?

Will try to post it tonight as I'm a bit limited at work. Hope I haven't built it up too much as I'd hate for you to be disappointed, Tino.

Well, you continually disappoint me these days, Galted, so you're starting from a low base.

by **JuliusHMarx** Thu 28 Nov 2013, 1:53 pm

seanmichaels wrote:
Galted wrote:It's mental. Each of us has a Wasp scanner. And I've got two staplers.
I used to have the biggest whole puncher in the office but someone has commited larceny with it. Used to be able to through over 50 sheets.

How do you commit larceny with a whole (sic) puncher? Surely a gun, or a knife, would be more useful.
"Give me your wallet, or your little finger will be turned into something worthy of an A4 ring binder".

by **seanmichaels** Thu 28 Nov 2013, 1:58 pm

JuliusHMarx wrote:
seanmichaels wrote:
Galted wrote:It's mental. Each of us has a Wasp scanner. And I've got two staplers.
I used to have the biggest whole puncher in the office but someone has commited larceny with it. Used to be able to through over 50 sheets.
How do you commit larceny with a whole (sic) puncher? Surely a gun, or a knife, would be more useful.
"Give me your wallet, or your little finger will be turned into something worthy of an A4 ring binder".

no no no. someone committed the act of larceny on my whole puncher

by **JuliusHMarx** Thu 28 Nov 2013, 2:00 pm

seanmichaels wrote:
JuliusHMarx wrote:
seanmichaels wrote:
Galted wrote:It's mental. Each of us has a Wasp scanner. And I've got two staplers.
I used to have the biggest whole puncher in the office but someone has commited larceny with it. Used to be able to through over 50 sheets.
How do you commit larceny with a whole (sic) puncher? Surely a gun, or a knife, would be more useful.
"Give me your wallet, or your little finger will be turned into something worthy of an A4 ring binder".
no no no. someone committed the act of larceny on my whole puncher

Not just half your puncher? Your whole puncher?

by Mind the windows Tino. Thu 28 Nov 2013, 2:02 pm

JuliusHMarx wrote:
seanmichaels wrote:
JuliusHMarx wrote:
seanmichaels wrote:
Galted wrote:It's mental. Each of us has a Wasp scanner. And I've got two staplers.
I used to have the biggest whole puncher in the office but someone has commited larceny with it. Used to be able to through over 50 sheets.
How do you commit larceny with a whole (sic) puncher? Surely a gun, or a knife, would be more useful.
"Give me your wallet, or your little finger will be turned into something worthy of an A4 ring binder".
no no no. someone committed the act of larceny on my whole puncher
Not just half your puncher? Your whole puncher?

Stop tormenting him.

by **seanmichaels** Thu 28 Nov 2013, 2:12 pm

I'm not irritated. I don't understand all that (sic) stuff

by Rowley Thu 28 Nov 2013, 2:14 pm

Somebody at work has just asked, as a serious question, did Dinosaurs really exist?

I work with some quite stupid people.

by Mind the windows Tino. Thu 28 Nov 2013, 2:15 pm

seanmichaels wrote:I'm not irritated. I don't understand all that (sic) stuff

You don't understand the difference between 'hole' and 'whole'?

Fu*king hell, michaels, get a grip.

by **Galted** Thu 28 Nov 2013, 2:15 pm

Thanks for letting me know that I was approaching 4000 posts you b'stards, I wanted to do something memorable.

by Mind the windows Tino. Thu 28 Nov 2013, 2:16 pm

Rowley wrote:Somebody at work has just asked, as a serious question, did Dinosaurs really exist?

I work with some quite stupid people.

What is the answer?

by Mind the windows Tino. Thu 28 Nov 2013, 2:17 pm

Galted wrote:Thanks for letting me know that I was approaching 4000 posts you b'stards, I wanted to do something memorable.

Everything you write is memorable, Glated.

Congratulations.

by **seanmichaels** Thu 28 Nov 2013, 2:20 pm

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
Rowley wrote:Somebody at work has just asked, as a serious question, did Dinosaurs really exist?

I work with some quite stupid people.
What is the answer?

Yes. Have you not seen Jurassic Park?

by Mind the windows Tino. Thu 28 Nov 2013, 2:23 pm

seanmichaels wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
Rowley wrote:Somebody at work has just asked, as a serious question, did Dinosaurs really exist?

I work with some quite stupid people.
What is the answer?
Yes. Have you not seen Jurassic Park?

Yeah, I knew the answer. I was just curious.

by **Galted** Thu 28 Nov 2013, 2:24 pm

Rowley wrote:Somebody at work has just asked, as a serious question, did Dinosaurs really exist?

I work with some quite stupid people.

You get them in London as well, Rowley. One of my colleagues recently asked whether the latin name for the large-spotted genet is genetta genetta or genetta tigrina. Everyone knows it's not genetta genetta.

by Rowley Thu 28 Nov 2013, 2:24 pm

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
Rowley wrote:Somebody at work has just asked, as a serious question, did Dinosaurs really exist?

I work with some quite stupid people.
What is the answer?

I didn't answer, I went out for a walk.

by Mind the windows Tino. Thu 28 Nov 2013, 2:25 pm

Rowley wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
Rowley wrote:Somebody at work has just asked, as a serious question, did Dinosaurs really exist?

I work with some quite stupid people.
What is the answer?
I didn't answer, I went out for a walk.

Where did you walk to?

by **Galted** Thu 28 Nov 2013, 2:27 pm

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
Rowley wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
Rowley wrote:Somebody at work has just asked, as a serious question, did Dinosaurs really exist?

I work with some quite stupid people.
What is the answer?
I didn't answer, I went out for a walk.
Where did you walk to?

I'm picturing him in a flat-cap walking along a desolate moor with a shot-gun bent over his arm and an annoying dog getting in between his feet which is quite an achievement as I don't know what he looks like.

by Mind the windows Tino. Thu 28 Nov 2013, 2:30 pm

Galted wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
Rowley wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
Rowley wrote:Somebody at work has just asked, as a serious question, did Dinosaurs really exist?

I work with some quite stupid people.
What is the answer?
I didn't answer, I went out for a walk.
Where did you walk to?
I'm picturing him in a flat-cap walking along a desolate moor with a shot-gun bent over his arm and an annoying dog getting in between his feet which is quite an achievement as I don't know what he looks like.

I think he looks like Ray Winstone. I don't know why, that is just the mental image I have.

Jeff = Ray Winstone
michaels = Catweazel
Julius = Ming Campbell
Galted = A younger Jeffrey Archer

by Rowley Thu 28 Nov 2013, 2:31 pm

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
Rowley wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
Rowley wrote:Somebody at work has just asked, as a serious question, did Dinosaurs really exist?

I work with some quite stupid people.
What is the answer?
I didn't answer, I went out for a walk.
Where did you walk to?

Tescos

by **seanmichaels** Thu 28 Nov 2013, 2:31 pm

I don't f-ing look like catweasel.

by **Galted** Thu 28 Nov 2013, 2:35 pm

seanmichaels wrote:I don't f-ing look like catweasel.

Thanks, chaps, I'm in hysterics, silent so far but I'm going to let loose any second.

by Mind the windows Tino. Thu 28 Nov 2013, 2:36 pm

seanmichaels wrote:I don't f-ing look like catweasel.

The lady doth protest too much.

by **JuliusHMarx** Thu 28 Nov 2013, 2:46 pm

I imagine Tino looks like Gwyneth Paltrow. In fact, I imagine you all looking like Gwyneth Paltrow. It's the only way I can put up with you.

by Mind the windows Tino. Thu 28 Nov 2013, 2:47 pm

JuliusHMarx wrote:I imagine Tino looks like Gwyneth Paltrow. In fact, I imagine you all looking like Gwyneth Paltrow. It's the only way I can put up with you.

I'm not as thin.

by **seanmichaels** Thu 28 Nov 2013, 2:49 pm

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
JuliusHMarx wrote:I imagine Tino looks like Gwyneth Paltrow. In fact, I imagine you all looking like Gwyneth Paltrow. It's the only way I can put up with you.
I'm not as thin.

He does like Chris Martin though.

by **Galted** Thu 28 Nov 2013, 2:49 pm

Does anyone else imagine Marx wearing a monocle and a waistcoat (into which he hooks his thumbs)?

by Rowley Thu 28 Nov 2013, 2:50 pm

When I was a lot fatter people say I used to look like Peter Kay, since I have lost a bit and grown a beard the observation does not really get made anymore.

by Mind the windows Tino. Thu 28 Nov 2013, 2:50 pm

seanmichaels wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
JuliusHMarx wrote:I imagine Tino looks like Gwyneth Paltrow. In fact, I imagine you all looking like Gwyneth Paltrow. It's the only way I can put up with you.
I'm not as thin.
He does like Chris Martin though.

Never met him.

by Mind the windows Tino. Thu 28 Nov 2013, 2:51 pm

Rowley wrote:When I was a lot fatter people say I used to look like Peter Kay, since I have lost a bit and grown a beard the observation does not really get made anymore.

Now you look like Artem Chigvintsev?

by **JuliusHMarx** Thu 28 Nov 2013, 2:51 pm

Galted wrote:Does anyone else imagine Marx wearing a monocle and a waistcoat (into which he hooks his thumbs)?

Yes, sometimes, late at night, I imagine that.

by **seanmichaels** Thu 28 Nov 2013, 2:52 pm

Galted (sorry mate)

Spoiler:

by Rowley Thu 28 Nov 2013, 2:52 pm

I have not lost that much Tina, trust me I am unlikely to win any Karen Carpenter look a like competitions any time soon.

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