The Culture Cup Round x - Adam is a naughty naughty boy

by **JuliusHMarx** Fri 10 Oct 2014, 10:46 am

First topic message reminder :

Phucking Phirst.

by **seanmichaels** Thu 16 Oct 2014, 10:32 am

when i try to host an image at work it says page blocked? i'll try on phone

by **superflyweight** Thu 16 Oct 2014, 10:34 am

Marco_Marky - Stuffington wrote:
rick_dagless wrote:
Marky... wrote:I've always found those that 'start' work at 6am generally do crosswords until 9am? Is that the case here?

Nope I "Start" work at 6 ish as there is no-one in to bother me, then I wait for the idiots to come in and bother me with irrelevant and ill thought out questions, then I can release the crosswords.

However if you are always finding this then do you work for a company that specialises in breakfasts and de-coding crosswords?

As for being the case "here" you are "there" so the question I guess is best answered by you.

Welcome to the cup by the way... (happier sean?)

Morning all, Fist

I can see me sacking today off (sack or sacking is a legalese term very specific to folk who work in Law associated with software companies Tino)

I worked with a guy he used to get into work at 7am. He'd pick his nose until 9, have 1 hour for breakfast, send a couple of emails out between 10 and 11 then head off to the pub. He'd usually spend 2/3 hours in the pub and would have at least 4 pints. He'd arrive back at the office, slightly tipsy sometimes, and do another few emails before going home. The guy was a real hero of mine, aside from being a fat, red-faced, alcoholic waste of space.
Glad to you hear you are not like this guy though

Don't think sean is fat, but 3 out of 4 isn't bad. Am sure he'd be happy to be your new hero.

by **Pal Joey** Thu 16 Oct 2014, 10:36 am

seanmichaels wrote:What are you creating / doing? Extending an existing property? How much land is there?

Extending an existing property. Old Federation bit out the front; brand spanking new modern out the back. It's 711m2 (15.24 x 46.65)

by **rIck_dAgless** Thu 16 Oct 2014, 10:37 am

Morning super, appears to have turned into an episode of phucking Ground Force on here...

by Mind the windows Tino. Thu 16 Oct 2014, 10:44 am

rick_dagless wrote:Morning super, appears to have turned into an episode of phucking Ground Force on here...

I bet you never thought you would yearn for some arthropod discussions did you?

by **rIck_dAgless** Thu 16 Oct 2014, 10:45 am

Tino wrote:I bet you never thought you would yearn for some arthropod discussions did you?

It is a new low for me... Though if anyone needs me to spread the word about sean's freelance log storage construction business I will be happy to do so...

by **seanmichaels** Thu 16 Oct 2014, 10:49 am

No joy on phone.

Watching series 4 of Walking Dead whiles missus away. Tank blew up the prison and someone copped it on the railway track. Am i about 7 episodes behind?

by **superflyweight** Thu 16 Oct 2014, 10:49 am

Morning all, but mostly to Rick because he took the time to personally welcome me. Don't cost anything, do they? Manners?

by **Pal Joey** Thu 16 Oct 2014, 10:51 am

rick_dagless wrote:Morning super, appears to have turned into an episode of phucking Ground Force on here...

Need to design a show where 8 Legal practitioners build an archery range in their back gardens with the best 2 having either a dance off or a 3-round cage fight... determined by which box a seal barks at. The winnings could then go to one of the victims of Kim JOng-Un's nasty regime... provided they can make a rendezvous with a yellow lifeboat moored off the DPRK coast. There would be a few red herrings thrown in along the way of course... just to make things more interesting.

by Mind the windows Tino. Thu 16 Oct 2014, 10:53 am

seanmichaels wrote:No joy on phone.

Watching series 4 of Walking Dead whiles missus away. Tank blew up the prison and someone copped it on the railway track. Am i about 7 episodes behind?

Yeah about that. Series 4 gets better from that point, but the last episode is a let down. Series 5 started with a blinding episode on Monday.

Morning Superfly. How are you today? Anything you want to talk about?

by **superflyweight** Thu 16 Oct 2014, 10:53 am

The Loaded Dog wrote:
rick_dagless wrote:Morning super, appears to have turned into an episode of phucking Ground Force on here...

Need to design a show where 8 Legal practitioners design an archery range in their back gardens with the best 2 having either a dance off or a 3-round cage fight... determined by which box a seal barks at. The winnings could then go to one of the victims of Kim JOng-Un's nasty regime... provided they can make a rendezvous with a yellow lifeboat moored off the DPRK coast. There would be a few red herrings thrown in along the way of course... just to make things more interesting.

I'm in.

by **seanmichaels** Thu 16 Oct 2014, 11:01 am

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Morning Superfly. How are you today? Anything you want to talk about?

He could start by disowning the jock w@nker who was on the apprentice last night.

by Mind the windows Tino. Thu 16 Oct 2014, 11:05 am

seanmichaels wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Morning Superfly. How are you today? Anything you want to talk about?

He could start by disowning the jock w@nker who was on the apprentice last night.

I'm half jock (and a complete w*nker) so I will disown him on Super's behalf.

Do you think the PM on the ladies team is Shah? Would explain where he has been.

by **superflyweight** Thu 16 Oct 2014, 11:08 am

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
seanmichaels wrote:No joy on phone.

Watching series 4 of Walking Dead whiles missus away. Tank blew up the prison and someone copped it on the railway track. Am i about 7 episodes behind?

Yeah about that. Series 4 gets better from that point, but the last episode is a let down. Series 5 started with a blinding episode on Monday.

Morning Superfly. How are you today? Anything you want to talk about?

No thanks.

by **rIck_dAgless** Thu 16 Oct 2014, 11:09 am

TLD wrote:Need to design a show where 8 Legal practitioners design an archery range in their back gardens with the best 2 having either a dance off or a 3-round cage fight... determined by which box a seal barks at. The winnings could then go to one of the victims of Kim JOng-Un's nasty regime... provided they can make a rendezvous with a yellow lifeboat moored off the DPRK coast. There would be a few red herrings thrown in along the way of course... just to make things more interesting.

You supply the bow and i'm In

I'd rather go back to talking about landscape gardening than the Apprentice...

by **rIck_dAgless** Thu 16 Oct 2014, 11:12 am

Apprentice skit:

by Mind the windows Tino. Thu 16 Oct 2014, 11:12 am

superflyweight wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
seanmichaels wrote:No joy on phone.

Watching series 4 of Walking Dead whiles missus away. Tank blew up the prison and someone copped it on the railway track. Am i about 7 episodes behind?

Yeah about that. Series 4 gets better from that point, but the last episode is a let down. Series 5 started with a blinding episode on Monday.

Morning Superfly. How are you today? Anything you want to talk about?

No thanks.

F*ck off then.

by **seanmichaels** Thu 16 Oct 2014, 11:20 am

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
Do you think the PM on the ladies team is Shah? Would explain where he has been.

No, Shah was lost on Tall Shair hill.

That woman is dodgy, thin face yet big body. Clearly wearing an explosives vest.

by Mind the windows Tino. Thu 16 Oct 2014, 11:22 am

seanmichaels wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
Do you think the PM on the ladies team is Shah? Would explain where he has been.

No, Shah was lost on Tall Shair hill.

That woman is dodgy, thin face yet big body. Clearly wearing an explosives vest.

Her teeth would set off trip wires as well.

by **Pal Joey** Thu 16 Oct 2014, 11:37 am

Is Raf covering the trial for ANN7? Haven't seen him on here lately.

by Rowley Thu 16 Oct 2014, 11:41 am

Morning all, made it safe to London, have not been mugged yet. My mood has somewhat improved from my normal London disposition. Obviously not because the place is any more tolerable, it is, as always, horrific. However I have come to realise I am looking at it all wrong.

The way to look at the place is as a depository for the nations bell ends, and I should be grateful that they are all kept in the one place and so not allowed to get in the way or annoy us normal folk. Once I realised this, and that this fact and the rarity of my visits here made my interactions with them minimal I was much cheerier.

by Mind the windows Tino. Thu 16 Oct 2014, 11:42 am

Rowley wrote:Morning all, made it safe to London, have not been mugged yet. My mood has somewhat improved from my normal London disposition. Obviously not because the place is any more tolerable, it is, as always, horrific. However I have come to realise I am looking at it all wrong.

The way to look at the place is as a depository for the nations bell ends, and I should be grateful that they are all kept in the one place and so not allowed to get in the way or annoy us normal folk. Once I realised this, and that this fact and the rarity of my visits here made my interactions with them minimal I was much cheerier.

I'm not a bell end.

by **Union Cane** Thu 16 Oct 2014, 11:45 am

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:I'm not a bell end.

Reminds me of Colonel Bob Sheridan, "The bell ends round two" always raises a chuckle.

by Rowley Thu 16 Oct 2014, 11:53 am

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
Rowley wrote:Morning all, made it safe to London, have not been mugged yet. My mood has somewhat improved from my normal London disposition. Obviously not because the place is any more tolerable, it is, as always, horrific. However I have come to realise I am looking at it all wrong.

The way to look at the place is as a depository for the nations bell ends, and I should be grateful that they are all kept in the one place and so not allowed to get in the way or annoy us normal folk. Once I realised this, and that this fact and the rarity of my visits here made my interactions with them minimal I was much cheerier.

I'm not a bell end.

Dressing like one is near enough for me.

by **Pal Joey** Thu 16 Oct 2014, 11:53 am

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
Rowley wrote:Morning all, made it safe to London, have not been mugged yet. My mood has somewhat improved from my normal London disposition. Obviously not because the place is any more tolerable, it is, as always, horrific. However I have come to realise I am looking at it all wrong.

The way to look at the place is as a depository for the nations bell ends, and I should be grateful that they are all kept in the one place and so not allowed to get in the way or annoy us normal folk. Once I realised this, and that this fact and the rarity of my visits here made my interactions with them minimal I was much cheerier.

I'm not a bell end.

I'm sure you're not.

I obviously haven't spent too much time there but I loved the place.

I remember walking down Shaftesbury Ave on a stunning spring day when some pretty bird strolled past wearing cheap perfume. (OK.. she was a snob and ignored me) However, I couldn't help but ooze a tiny bit of pre-come from my rapidly engorging bell end. That; along with the tingling sensation coming from deep within my gonads made it a very pleasant short walk indeed. Needless to say I walked right past the Tube entrance and had to double back.

by Guest Thu 16 Oct 2014, 11:58 am

Rowley wrote:Morning all, made it safe to London, have not been mugged yet. My mood has somewhat improved from my normal London disposition. Obviously not because the place is any more tolerable, it is, as always, horrific. However I have come to realise I am looking at it all wrong.

The way to look at the place is as a depository for the nations bell ends, and I should be grateful that they are all kept in the one place and so not allowed to get in the way or annoy us normal folk. Once I realised this, and that this fact and the rarity of my visits here made my interactions with them minimal I was much cheerier.

Surely the fact there's so many of them in one place should give cause for concern as there's the possibility of breeding and multiplying thus causing the southern bell end saga to rumble on without end.

by Rowley Thu 16 Oct 2014, 12:01 pm

By the time that becomes an issue I'll be dead Dave and as I have no kids it is not soemthing I need to worry about. Selfish I know, but I never claimed to be otherwise.

by **JuliusHMarx** Thu 16 Oct 2014, 12:02 pm

I like Nescafe Gold Bell End.

by **Pal Joey** Thu 16 Oct 2014, 12:05 pm

JuliusHMarx wrote:I like Nescafe Gold Bell End.

You know if you mix it a certain way and add just the right amount of milk it almost tastes like one made by a woofter barrista?

by **Pal Joey** Thu 16 Oct 2014, 12:06 pm

Costs heaps less though.

by **rIck_dAgless** Thu 16 Oct 2014, 12:20 pm

DAVE wrote:Surely the fact there's so many of them in one place should give cause for concern as there's the possibility of breeding and multiplying thus causing the southern bell end saga to rumble on without end

If TV has taught me anything, it is when they run out of room for bell ends, they go to Spain or Greece...

by **seanmichaels** Thu 16 Oct 2014, 12:45 pm

There's no real possibility of containment on an Isle as small as England. Hadrian's wall failed to keep the jocks out which is why we have Geordies and scousers. Similarly Offah's dyke failed to keep the welsh out which is why we have your west country hillbillies.

by **Union Cane** Thu 16 Oct 2014, 12:50 pm

I always thought that Scousers were descended from the would-be Irish who were too thick to get across to Ireland.

by **seanmichaels** Thu 16 Oct 2014, 12:55 pm

Union Cane wrote:I always thought that Scousers were descended from the would-be Irish who were too thick to get across to Ireland.

Scots and Irish are basically one and the same. It is the ginger gene that has been passed down by descendants of the ancient Leprechauns.

by **Union Cane** Thu 16 Oct 2014, 12:57 pm

You should write a book on this Sean, it's gripping stuff.

by **rIck_dAgless** Thu 16 Oct 2014, 12:58 pm

sean wrote:Hadrian's wall failed to keep the jocks out

Hadrians wall was built to attack not defend, all the sally ports face north.

Scousers are Irish people who could swim.

by Mind the windows Tino. Thu 16 Oct 2014, 1:01 pm

seanmichaels wrote:
Union Cane wrote:I always thought that Scousers were descended from the would-be Irish who were too thick to get across to Ireland.

Scots and Irish are basically one and the same. It is the ginger gene that has been passed down by descendants of the ancient Leprechauns.

David: "Look whether or not Anton is indeed a midget, or a dwarf-"
Alex: "No he’s a midget"
David: "What’s the difference?"
Alex: "A dwarf is someone who has disproportionately short arms and legs"
David: "Oh I know the ones"
Alex: "It’s caused by a hormone deficiency"
David: "Yeah… bloody hormones"
Alex: "A midget is still a dwarf but their arms and legs are in proportion"
Gareth: "So... what’s an elf?"

by **rIck_dAgless** Thu 16 Oct 2014, 1:09 pm

Fish Finger Butty, belter...

by **seanmichaels** Thu 16 Oct 2014, 1:13 pm

Union Cane wrote:You should write a book on this Sean, it's gripping stuff.

Everyone has a story. I'm a viking descendant.

by **Union Cane** Thu 16 Oct 2014, 1:20 pm

We're all Africans if you go back far enough. Or aliens.

by Rowley Thu 16 Oct 2014, 1:30 pm

rick_dagless wrote:

Scousers are Irish people who could swim.

Reminds me of an old joke. Why does Mexico not have an olympic team? Because every mexican that can run, swim or jump is in America now.

by **seanmichaels** Thu 16 Oct 2014, 1:35 pm

2 nuns in the bath and one says 'where's the soap?'. The other says 'It does doesn't it.'

by **rIck_dAgless** Thu 16 Oct 2014, 1:40 pm

Union wrote:We're all Africans if you go back far enough. Or aliens.

Or stardust...

Or Jules...

by Rowley Thu 16 Oct 2014, 1:43 pm

rick_dagless wrote:
Union wrote:We're all Africans if you go back far enough. Or aliens.

Or stardust...

Or Jules...

I'm not related to top hat, not now, not ever. Don't care how far you go back or how you choose to look at it.

by **rIck_dAgless** Thu 16 Oct 2014, 1:45 pm

Jeff wrote:I'm not related to top hat, not now, not ever. Don't care how far you go back or how you choose to look at it.

Toppy evolved from a black hole rather than a star, consuming everything, even light, something that is evident in his genes now.

by **superflyweight** Thu 16 Oct 2014, 1:49 pm

Scots people are evolved from Geordies.

by Mind the windows Tino. Thu 16 Oct 2014, 1:54 pm

superflyweight wrote:Scots people are evolved

by **superflyweight** Thu 16 Oct 2014, 2:13 pm

Phuck you, Tina. Those opposable thumbs of ours are primed and ready for the severe bottle hurling you'll suffer if you dare to step north of the border again.

Mprick!

by **rIck_dAgless** Thu 16 Oct 2014, 2:15 pm

Can anyone be bothered to set a quiz?

I have half an hour to kill...

by **seanmichaels** Thu 16 Oct 2014, 2:33 pm

give me 5.

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