The Culture Cup Round x - Adam is a naughty naughty boy

by **Pal Joey** Mon Dec 08, 2014 8:41 am

First topic message reminder :

Raf wrote:Newcastle not being relegated, ey?

Черная вдова Японии взимается в связи со смертью 4 мужем
A Japanese black widow is to be charged with the death of her 4th husband.

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by **seanmichaels** Mon Dec 22, 2014 11:16 am

Is there a jazz Christmas album Jeff?

by **ShahenshahG** Mon Dec 22, 2014 11:18 am

You really are Boris Johnsons dad rowley

by Rowley Mon Dec 22, 2014 11:19 am

seanmichaels wrote:Is there a jazz Christmas album Jeff?

No idea Sean, something of a new convert to its many joys.

by Mind the windows Tino. Mon Dec 22, 2014 11:26 am

The Loaded Dog wrote:Was there much traffic around you at the time, sean?

I was once swigging some cheap bourbon with a mate in a carpark when he cracked a joke.
Bad timing on my part... it went down backwards (or sideways?) and I ended up spraying his dashboard. It was quite a painful experience actually. Put me off bourbon ever since (c.1992)

I once went to the airport to pick up my then girlfriends dad. He lived and worked in Africa but his wife and two kids lived in Warrington. He was from the Sudan.

I had never met him, seeing as the Sudan wasn't on my bucket list at the time, so I was pretty nervous. I'm waiting, with the girlfriend, as this big black dude in full ceremonial dress wanders through John Lennon looking confused. We meet and he kisses me twice on both cheeks (face), tells me what a lovely 'boy' I am despite never having met me and we head off to the car. I had a tatty VW Polo (old style) at the time. We get in the car, he gets in the passenger seat whilst my girlfriend gets in the back. He is telling me about the flight and how he needs to freshen up so he pulls out a mini mouthwash from his bag. Takes a swig, swirls it around, gargles a little and gobs it out of the window that he had wound down 5 minutes earlier. Problem was, he had already wound the window back up so sprayed the entire front of the car, including himself and me, with a mixture of his saliva and mouthwash as I'm bombing down the Speke Rd.

Me and his daughter didn't last.

As an aside, it's not true what they say about dating black girls.

by Rowley Mon Dec 22, 2014 11:28 am

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

As an aside, it's not true what they say about dating black girls.

What do they say Tina, that you're over compensating for your inherent racism?

by Mind the windows Tino. Mon Dec 22, 2014 11:30 am

Rowley wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

As an aside, it's not true what they say about dating black girls.

What do they say Tina, that you're over compensating for your inherent racism?

No, that once you've had black, you'll never go back (to white).

by **seanmichaels** Mon Dec 22, 2014 11:33 am

Didn't Amy Winehouse do the opposite?

by **Pal Joey** Mon Dec 22, 2014 11:41 am

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
The Loaded Dog wrote:Was there much traffic around you at the time, sean?

I was once swigging some cheap bourbon with a mate in a carpark when he cracked a joke.
Bad timing on my part... it went down backwards (or sideways?) and I ended up spraying his dashboard. It was quite a painful experience actually. Put me off bourbon ever since (c.1992)

I once went to the airport to pick up my then girlfriends dad. He lived and worked in Africa but his wife and two kids lived in Warrington. He was from the Sudan.

I had never met him, seeing as the Sudan wasn't on my bucket list at the time, so I was pretty nervous. I'm waiting, with the girlfriend, as this big black dude in full ceremonial dress wanders through John Lennon looking confused. We meet and he kisses me twice on both cheeks (face), tells me what a lovely 'boy' I am despite never having met me and we head off to the car. I had a tatty VW Polo (old style) at the time. We get in the car, he gets in the passenger seat whilst my girlfriend gets in the back. He is telling me about the flight and how he needs to freshen up so he pulls out a mini mouthwash from his bag. Takes a swig, swirls it around, gargles a little and gobs it out of the window that he had wound down 5 minutes earlier. Problem was, he had already wound the window back up so sprayed the entire front of the car, including himself and me, with a mixture of his saliva and mouthwash as I'm bombing down the Speke Rd.

Me and his daughter didn't last.

As an aside, it's not true what they say about dating black girls.

Thought for a moment you were going to say he spat it out beside the passenger foot rest.

by **seanmichaels** Mon Dec 22, 2014 12:08 pm

Interested to know if Union was knocked out or passed out?

by Mind the windows Tino. Mon Dec 22, 2014 12:30 pm

seanmichaels wrote:Interested to know if Union was knocked out or passed out?

Passed out.

Cane doesn't get knocked out. He punches toilet walls. That sort of hard bastard never gets knocked out.

by **Galted** Mon Dec 22, 2014 12:40 pm

Went to the Wildlife Photographer of the Year Exhibition at the Natural History Museum on Saturday. Had bought tickets online the day before so was looking forward to strutting past the queue to the museum with a little smirk playing on my lips. Was pretty damn cross when I got there and discovered that there wasn't a queue. Pretty bloody infuriated, in fact. Still, you know what they say, when life deals you lemons rub them into a toddler's eyes. Toddler's are idiots.

by **seanmichaels** Mon Dec 22, 2014 12:40 pm

This reminds me of the downs syndrome theory (not mine) that was discussed at my mate's office.

by **seanmichaels** Mon Dec 22, 2014 12:42 pm

Galted wrote:Went to the Wildlife Photographer of the Year Exhibition at the Natural History Museum on Saturday.

Did Bill Oddie win?

by Guest Mon Dec 22, 2014 12:56 pm

Many years ago we frequented a rock/metal club in Bradford called "The Frog and Toad" (a proper "wipe your feet on the way out" sh!thole). We were in our late teens and completely unused to drinking alcohol in the vast quantities that come as second nature now. A mate of mine was particularly fond of a drink called a "Red Witch" and being 6'2" and 17 stone had quite a capacity for it. One evening he had consumed an heroic amount of these and was starting to feel the effects of it. The DJ then put on some, at the time, thrash classic so we headed onto the dancefloor for full on windmilling mayhem. Seems the sudden and repeated headbanging has taken it's toll on my mate and up came his stomach contents...all over the girl in front of him. The best bit is that he didn't even stop headbanging and spayed her from top to toe.

by **Union Cane** Mon Dec 22, 2014 1:13 pm

seanmichaels wrote:This reminds me of the downs syndrome theory (not mine) that was discussed at my mate's office.

by **superflyweight** Mon Dec 22, 2014 1:37 pm

That's a bit much.

by Mind the windows Tino. Mon Dec 22, 2014 1:40 pm

superflyweight wrote:That's a bit much.

Yeah, he really shouldn't have kicked that little boy.

by **superflyweight** Mon Dec 22, 2014 2:36 pm

You've gone and michaelsed the thread, Tina.

by **Union Cane** Mon Dec 22, 2014 2:52 pm

And now you've done it as well, super.

by Rowley Mon Dec 22, 2014 2:58 pm

Fear not Union, I'm here I'll save it. What is everyone getting for Christmas

by **superflyweight** Mon Dec 22, 2014 3:01 pm

A number of bottles of 7% IPA. I bought it for myself and will be drinking it from this evening until the 26th.

by Mind the windows Tino. Mon Dec 22, 2014 3:02 pm

Rowley wrote:Fear not Union, I'm here I'll save it. What is everyone getting for Christmas

Eastbound and Down complete box set and some Scotch. That's about it.

What are you getting, Jeffo?

by Rowley Mon Dec 22, 2014 3:06 pm

Got an Ipod off TSMR and a docking station off her parents. Bought myself a bottle of Scotch for Christmas day.

by Mind the windows Tino. Mon Dec 22, 2014 3:10 pm

Rowley wrote:Bought myself a bottle of Scotch for Christmas day.

What Scotch do you drink?

by **Union Cane** Mon Dec 22, 2014 3:10 pm

Me and TIMC have agreed not to get each other anything and to save the money for Union Junior when he pops out, but I know that if I did actually not get her anything she would not be happy so I got her lots of things.

by **JuliusHMarx** Mon Dec 22, 2014 3:10 pm

An expensive ballpoint pen. I expect & hope for lots of chocolate, fudge etc.
Never read On The Road or The Grapes of Wrath so have asked my mother to get one of those instead of the usual load of crap she buys (I didn't word it quite like that).

by **JuliusHMarx** Mon Dec 22, 2014 3:12 pm

Union Cane wrote:Me and TIMC have agreed not to get each other anything and to save the money for Union Junior when he pops out, but I know that if I did actually not get her anything she would not be happy so I got her lots of things.

No win situation Union - now she'll be upset you've spent Junior's nappy fund.

by Rowley Mon Dec 22, 2014 3:13 pm

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
Rowley wrote:Bought myself a bottle of Scotch for Christmas day.

What Scotch do you drink?

I don't much, but have bought a bottle of Pendryn. I am half Welsh and, for reasons beyond my comprehension, actually proud of the fact so bought a Welsh whiskey.

by Mind the windows Tino. Mon Dec 22, 2014 3:16 pm

Rowley wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
Rowley wrote:Bought myself a bottle of Scotch for Christmas day.

What Scotch do you drink?

I don't much, but have bought a bottle of Pendryn. I am half Welsh and, for reasons beyond my comprehension, actually proud of the fact so bought a Welsh whiskey.

Jesus!

by **seanmichaels** Mon Dec 22, 2014 3:16 pm

I wanted a battery powered chainsaw so I can leave it in the boot of the car without it stinking of petrol. Not sure whether she's joking but missus said she hasn't got me it. Will be phucked off if that is the case.

by Rowley Mon Dec 22, 2014 3:18 pm

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
Rowley wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
Rowley wrote:Bought myself a bottle of Scotch for Christmas day.

What Scotch do you drink?

I don't much, but have bought a bottle of Pendryn. I am half Welsh and, for reasons beyond my comprehension, actually proud of the fact so bought a Welsh whiskey.

Jesus!

Sorry Tina, don't think less of me. To be honest am not even sure I am half Welsh. I know most on my mother's side are very Welsh though. Do love the place dearly though.

by **Union Cane** Mon Dec 22, 2014 3:19 pm

I'm half Welsh too. My mother is from Merthyr.

Presumably Welsh Scotch would be called Welsh wouldn't it?

by **ShahenshahG** Mon Dec 22, 2014 3:23 pm

Rowley wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
Rowley wrote:Bought myself a bottle of Scotch for Christmas day.

What Scotch do you drink?

I don't much, but have bought a bottle of Pendryn. I am half Welsh and, for reasons beyond my comprehension, actually proud of the fact so bought a Welsh whiskey.

Half welsh and half yorkshireman? Are you the only Yorkshireman with a guttural tongue or the only welshman who won't be fleeced?

by Mind the windows Tino. Mon Dec 22, 2014 3:24 pm

Union Cane wrote:I'm half Welsh too. My mother is from Merthyr.

Presumably Welsh Scotch would be called Welsh wouldn't it?

You as well!

What the f*ck is happening round here. I'm going to have to seriously look at the renewal of certain Culture Cup memberships for 2015.

by Rowley Mon Dec 22, 2014 3:25 pm

My mothers side is staggeringly welsh, she has three aunties who were called Gladys, Dylis and Blonwyn. Blonwyn! I am not even sure it is a real name.

by Adam D Mon Dec 22, 2014 3:26 pm

JuliusHMarx wrote:
Union Cane wrote:Me and TIMC have agreed not to get each other anything and to save the money for Union Junior when he pops out, but I know that if I did actually not get her anything she would not be happy so I got her lots of things.

No win situation Union - now she'll be upset you've spent Junior's nappy fund.

The Culture Cup Round x - Adam is a naughty naughty boy - Page 16 40905241

by Rowley Mon Dec 22, 2014 3:26 pm

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
Union Cane wrote:I'm half Welsh too. My mother is from Merthyr.

Presumably Welsh Scotch would be called Welsh wouldn't it?

You as well!

What the f*ck is happening round here. I'm going to have to seriously look at the renewal of certain Culture Cup memberships for 2015.

Don't threaten us, we will form a splinter group, you know Galted would come with us.

by Mind the windows Tino. Mon Dec 22, 2014 3:27 pm

Rowley wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
Union Cane wrote:I'm half Welsh too. My mother is from Merthyr.

Presumably Welsh Scotch would be called Welsh wouldn't it?

You as well!

What the f*ck is happening round here. I'm going to have to seriously look at the renewal of certain Culture Cup memberships for 2015.

Don't threaten us, we will form a splinter group, you know Galted would come with us.

Is that supposed to put me off?

by **ShahenshahG** Mon Dec 22, 2014 3:27 pm

Rowley wrote:My mothers side is staggeringly welsh, she has three aunties who were called Gladys, Dylis and Blonwyn. Blonwyn! I am not even sure it is a real name.

Didn't she play for man utd?

by **Union Cane** Mon Dec 22, 2014 3:28 pm

Rowley wrote:My mothers side is staggeringly welsh, she has three aunties who were called Gladys, Dylis and Blonwyn. Blonwyn! I am not even sure it is a real name.

I had a great aunt called Morthrith or something, although it was spelled Morfffyyydyddyfff.

Summat like that.

by Rowley Mon Dec 22, 2014 3:30 pm

I feel me and Union are closer together now for our shared Welshness. Have to say annoying Tina is a small price to pay for that.

by **seanmichaels** Mon Dec 22, 2014 3:31 pm

Are you sure it isn't Bronwyn? I used to go out with a Bronwyn (female) when I lived in Wales.

by **Union Cane** Mon Dec 22, 2014 3:32 pm

Rowley wrote:I feel me and Union are closer together now for our shared Welshness. Have to say annoying Tina is a small price to pay for that.

Isn't it. Wasn't it.

by **ShahenshahG** Mon Dec 22, 2014 3:32 pm

Rowley wrote:I feel me and Union are closer together now for our shared Welshness. Have to say annoying Tina is a small price to pay for that.

If you judge by Unions linear threads hes probably picked the one with the most robotic personality to befriend Wink

by **ShahenshahG** Mon Dec 22, 2014 3:33 pm

seanmichaels wrote:Are you sure it isn't Bronwyn? I used to go out with a Bronwyn (female) when I lived in Wales.

by Mind the windows Tino. Mon Dec 22, 2014 3:36 pm

Rowley wrote:I feel me and Union are closer together now for our shared Welshness. Have to say annoying Tina is a small price to pay for that.

This may well drive me and Superfly closer together as Jocks.

Although I doubt it.

by Rowley Mon Dec 22, 2014 3:38 pm

I think he finds you a bit needy if I was to be honest Tina.

by Adam D Mon Dec 22, 2014 3:38 pm

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
Rowley wrote:I feel me and Union are closer together now for our shared Welshness. Have to say annoying Tina is a small price to pay for that.

This may well drive me and Superfly closer together as Jocks.

Although I doubt it.

I am Welsh and live in Scotland. And I hate Galted. I am the middle section of the culture cup Venn diagram.

by Mind the windows Tino. Mon Dec 22, 2014 3:42 pm

Rowley wrote:I think he finds you a bit needy if I was to be honest Tina.

I find him a bit c*ntish so it probably evens itself out.

by **ShahenshahG** Mon Dec 22, 2014 4:02 pm

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
Rowley wrote:I think he finds you a bit needy if I was to be honest Tina.

I find him a bit c*ntish so it probably evens itself out.

You've got a mean streak a mile wide Tino.

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