The Culture Cup Round x - Adam is a naughty naughty boy

by Rowley Thu 05 Mar 2015, 9:03 am

First topic message reminder :

I love you all, not in a massively gay way, apart from Tina obviously.

991

by **rIck_dAgless** Mon 16 Mar 2015, 8:53 am

'sup Tino

by **seanmichaels** Mon 16 Mar 2015, 8:53 am

Morning homes.

by **Pal Joey** Mon 16 Mar 2015, 8:58 am

Homes ahoy.

by **rIck_dAgless** Mon 16 Mar 2015, 9:48 am

I remember when this place used to be cool... (well cool may be stretching it somewhat, but you catch my drift)

by **seanmichaels** Mon 16 Mar 2015, 10:04 am

I have nothing interesting to say. Missus is away this week so may have a random pub night tonight. See if I can work the old magic.

by Rowley Mon 16 Mar 2015, 10:20 am

TSMR is out all day this coming Saturday, would love to pretend I would be doing something exciting, will probably just catch up on some films.

by **ShahenshahG** Mon 16 Mar 2015, 10:27 am

Have we all just become very dull?

by **Pal Joey** Mon 16 Mar 2015, 10:28 am

I think so. I blame the weather.

by **rIck_dAgless** Mon 16 Mar 2015, 10:34 am

I have always been dull I think.

by **Pal Joey** Mon 16 Mar 2015, 10:36 am

I fear I'm losing my spark.

by **seanmichaels** Mon 16 Mar 2015, 10:37 am

I'm still rock and roll. The world has just moved on.

by **ShahenshahG** Mon 16 Mar 2015, 10:38 am

seanmichaels wrote:I'm still c0ck and roll. The world has just moved on.

Fixed that for you

by **Pal Joey** Mon 16 Mar 2015, 10:39 am

Not sure it's going in the right direction though.
I'm not really interested in things which billions of others find so captivating.

by **ShahenshahG** Mon 16 Mar 2015, 10:43 am

The Loaded Dog wrote:Not sure it's going in the right direction though.
I'm not really interested in things which billions of others find so captivating.

I used this as an excuse during a prolonged absence of sex also.

by **JuliusHMarx** Mon 16 Mar 2015, 10:43 am

We still have each other.

by **seanmichaels** Mon 16 Mar 2015, 10:44 am

Actually I do have something fairly interesting to say.

I was at a dinner party in Twickenham on Saturday night. Mutual friends of myself and the missus. About 5 couples in total.

The host, mid dinner, declared that she had had a dream the night before that she was fingering Peter Andres arris, but woke up to find out she was fingering her blokes arris.

Then after a main course (served cold) guests were offered lines of coke for desert. Not really my thing so I abstained but quite a surreal situation nonetheless.

by **ShahenshahG** Mon 16 Mar 2015, 10:44 am

JuliusHMarx wrote:We still have each other.

This is how I consoled myself also

by **seanmichaels** Mon 16 Mar 2015, 10:47 am

ShahenshahG wrote:
The Loaded Dog wrote:Not sure it's going in the right direction though.
I'm not really interested in things which billions of others find so captivating.

I used this as an excuse during a prolonged absence of sex also.

All of your wives decided not to put out at the same time?

by **Pal Joey** Mon 16 Mar 2015, 10:49 am

seanmichaels wrote:Actually I do have something fairly interesting to say.

I was at a dinner party in Twickenham on Saturday night. Mutual friends of myself and the missus. About 5 couples in total.

The host, mid dinner, declared that she had had a dream the night before that she was fingering Peter Andres arris, but woke up to find out she was fingering her blokes arris.

Then after a main course (served cold) guests were offered lines of coke for desert. Not really my thing so I abstained but quite a surreal situation nonetheless.

That's some dinner party.

by **ShahenshahG** Mon 16 Mar 2015, 10:52 am

seanmichaels wrote:
ShahenshahG wrote:
The Loaded Dog wrote:Not sure it's going in the right direction though.
I'm not really interested in things which billions of others find so captivating.

I used this as an excuse during a prolonged absence of sex also.

All of your wives decided not to put out at the same time?

They were all 7-9 months pregnant at the time.

by Mind the windows Tino. Mon 16 Mar 2015, 11:03 am

ShahenshahG wrote:

They were all 7-9 months pregnant at the time.

I see a couple of your 'friends' got stopped in Turkey over the weekend.

by **seanmichaels** Mon 16 Mar 2015, 11:04 am

Mistake. They were on their way to Club Med 18-30

by **Pal Joey** Mon 16 Mar 2015, 11:15 am

seanmichaels wrote:Mistake. They were on their way to Club Med 18-30

Yes. It's so easy to get Ibiza mixed up with Istanbul. The words look almost identical from a distance.

by **JuliusHMarx** Mon 16 Mar 2015, 11:18 am

The Loaded Dog wrote:
seanmichaels wrote:Actually I do have something fairly interesting to say.

I was at a dinner party in Twickenham on Saturday night. Mutual friends of myself and the missus. About 5 couples in total.

The host, mid dinner, declared that she had had a dream the night before that she was fingering Peter Andres arris, but woke up to find out she was fingering her blokes arris.

Then after a main course (served cold) guests were offered lines of coke for desert. Not really my thing so I abstained but quite a surreal situation nonetheless.

That's some dinner party.

I'd be well p1ssed off if there wasn't a proper dessert.

by **Pal Joey** Mon 16 Mar 2015, 11:35 am

JuliusHMarx wrote:
The Loaded Dog wrote:
seanmichaels wrote:Actually I do have something fairly interesting to say.

I was at a dinner party in Twickenham on Saturday night. Mutual friends of myself and the missus. About 5 couples in total.

The host, mid dinner, declared that she had had a dream the night before that she was fingering Peter Andres arris, but woke up to find out she was fingering her blokes arris.

Then after a main course (served cold) guests were offered lines of coke for desert. Not really my thing so I abstained but quite a surreal situation nonetheless.

That's some dinner party.

I'd be well p1ssed off if there wasn't a proper dessert.

I could do with some Eton Mess right now actually...

by Mind the windows Tino. Mon 16 Mar 2015, 11:36 am

The Loaded Dog wrote:
JuliusHMarx wrote:
The Loaded Dog wrote:
seanmichaels wrote:Actually I do have something fairly interesting to say.

I was at a dinner party in Twickenham on Saturday night. Mutual friends of myself and the missus. About 5 couples in total.

The host, mid dinner, declared that she had had a dream the night before that she was fingering Peter Andres arris, but woke up to find out she was fingering her blokes arris.

Then after a main course (served cold) guests were offered lines of coke for desert. Not really my thing so I abstained but quite a surreal situation nonetheless.

That's some dinner party.

I'd be well p1ssed off if there wasn't a proper dessert.

I could do with some Eton Rifles.

I could do with some Eton Mess right now actually...

by **Pal Joey** Mon 16 Mar 2015, 11:38 am

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
The Loaded Dog wrote:
JuliusHMarx wrote:
The Loaded Dog wrote:
seanmichaels wrote:Actually I do have something fairly interesting to say.

I was at a dinner party in Twickenham on Saturday night. Mutual friends of myself and the missus. About 5 couples in total.

The host, mid dinner, declared that she had had a dream the night before that she was fingering Peter Andres arris, but woke up to find out she was fingering her blokes arris.

Then after a main course (served cold) guests were offered lines of coke for desert. Not really my thing so I abstained but quite a surreal situation nonetheless.

That's some dinner party.

I'd be well p1ssed off if there wasn't a proper dessert.

I could do with some Eton Rifles.

I could do with some Eton Mess right now actually...

Think I better go Underground now.

by Mind the windows Tino. Mon 16 Mar 2015, 11:39 am

The Loaded Dog wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
The Loaded Dog wrote:
JuliusHMarx wrote:
The Loaded Dog wrote:
seanmichaels wrote:Actually I do have something fairly interesting to say.

I was at a dinner party in Twickenham on Saturday night. Mutual friends of myself and the missus. About 5 couples in total.

The host, mid dinner, declared that she had had a dream the night before that she was fingering Peter Andres arris, but woke up to find out she was fingering her blokes arris.

Then after a main course (served cold) guests were offered lines of coke for desert. Not really my thing so I abstained but quite a surreal situation nonetheless.

That's some dinner party.

I'd be well p1ssed off if there wasn't a proper dessert.

I could do with some Eton Rifles.

I could do with some Eton Mess right now actually...

Think I better go Underground now.

I did a Sean on that quote.

Think I'll leave it though.

by Rowley Mon 16 Mar 2015, 11:40 am

Don't Start

by **Pal Joey** Mon 16 Mar 2015, 11:44 am

That can happen once in a while. I thought something looked odd!

Don't Stop...

by **JuliusHMarx** Mon 16 Mar 2015, 12:01 pm

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
The Loaded Dog wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
The Loaded Dog wrote:
JuliusHMarx wrote:
The Loaded Dog wrote:
seanmichaels wrote:Actually I do have something fairly interesting to say.

I was at a dinner party in Twickenham on Saturday night. Mutual friends of myself and the missus. About 5 couples in total.

The host, mid dinner, declared that she had had a dream the night before that she was fingering Peter Andres arris, but woke up to find out she was fingering her blokes arris.

Then after a main course (served cold) guests were offered lines of coke for desert. Not really my thing so I abstained but quite a surreal situation nonetheless.

That's some dinner party.

I'd be well p1ssed off if there wasn't a proper dessert.

I could do with some Eton Rifles.

I could do with some Eton Mess right now actually...

Think I better go Underground now.

I did a Sean on that quote.

That's entertainment.

by Mind the windows Tino. Mon 16 Mar 2015, 12:25 pm

We have some consultants in at work. No idea what for, probably IT related. It's irrelevant to the story anyway.

I was following one of them down the corridor earlier. Enjoying the view as they were wearing a rather short dress that was just about containing the person's bottom.

I get into the kitchen where they just happened to have gone as well. We get in there and start up a conversation. Turns out I can't actually be sure of what sex they are. It's a heshe. Or a shehe. I'm not sure which. Massive forearms, strong sturdy legs, nice bottom and definitely had boobs. Very deep voice though and just the merest hint of an Adam's apple although it was hard to tell. No hair to be seen. Apart from their head, of course. Wearing lippy and big sausage fingers.

Quite captivating in a way.

by Rowley Mon 16 Mar 2015, 12:28 pm

That's London for you Tina.

by Mind the windows Tino. Mon 16 Mar 2015, 12:30 pm

Rowley wrote:That's London for you Tina.

You say that, but she/he is American. That much I can be sure of.

Could well have been Truss, actually.

by Rowley Mon 16 Mar 2015, 12:32 pm

Have you given any consideration to bumping into them and trying a sly grab at the crotch area?

by **Union Cane** Mon 16 Mar 2015, 12:33 pm

Did you try the Dundee Test?

by Guest Mon 16 Mar 2015, 12:34 pm

Sean wrote:I could do with some Eton Mess in my bottom right now actually...

by **rIck_dAgless** Mon 16 Mar 2015, 12:36 pm

There is a shim at work at the moment, though defo pre-op...

by Mind the windows Tino. Mon 16 Mar 2015, 12:37 pm

Union Cane wrote:Did you try the Dundee Test?

Probably not as I don't know what it is.

Jeff: Yes, I have thinking about that for the last hour and a half. Working out how to manufacture a situation that enables just that.

by Rowley Mon 16 Mar 2015, 12:41 pm

Untie the laces on your brogues, tripping on an untied lace is perfect, plausible enough and easy to carry off.

by **ShahenshahG** Mon 16 Mar 2015, 12:44 pm

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
Union Cane wrote:Did you try the Dundee Test?

Probably not as I don't know what it is.

Jeff: Yes, I have thinking about that for the last hour and a half. Working out how to manufacture a situation that enables just that.

Just hold a pound coin and rub it into her crotch then claim you thought she was a vending machine

by **superflyweight** Mon 16 Mar 2015, 12:46 pm

Isn't the Dundee test just walking up to them and grabbing the crotch? Inspired by the scene in Crocodile Dundee as opposed to having anything to do with my home town of Dundee where receiving a hard kick to the Love sacks is infinitely safer than doing a sex on anyone.

by **Union Cane** Mon 16 Mar 2015, 12:46 pm

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
Union Cane wrote:Did you try the Dundee Test?

Probably not as I don't know what it is.

Similar to what Jeff suggested.

by Mind the windows Tino. Mon 16 Mar 2015, 12:47 pm

superflyweight wrote:Isn't the Dundee test just walking up to them and grabbing the crotch? Inspired by the scene in Crocodile Dundee as opposed to having anything to do with my home town of Dundee where receiving a hard kick to the Love sacks is infinitely safer than doing a sex on anyone.

That would make sense. I remember that scene.

I might try that if Jeff's slapstick shoe lace fall doesn't work.

by **ShahenshahG** Mon 16 Mar 2015, 12:53 pm

We really are a bunch of c*nts laughing

by Guest Mon 16 Mar 2015, 12:59 pm

Why not ask if they're going to watch Mayweather/Pacquiao. If they say "yes" and go on to say they hope Manny wins and KO's the women abusing sc*msucker then it's definitely a woman...however, if they say they hope Pacquiao KO's the arrogant w*nkstain then...hang on, it might still be a woman!

Maybe you should ask if they have any solutions to dampness and if they tell you about mould treatments then maybe it's a man or a woman who's really good at home improvement*

*No such thing...if a woman wanted to improve a home she'd stop filling it with decorative but functionless tat.

by Mind the windows Tino. Mon 16 Mar 2015, 1:04 pm

DAVE667 wrote:Why not ask if they're going to watch Mayweather/Pacquiao. If they say "yes" and go on to say they hope Manny wins and KO's the women abusing sc*msucker then it's definitely a woman...however, if they say they hope Pacquiao KO's the arrogant w*nkstain then...hang on, it might still be a woman!

Come on now, Dave. Do you not remember the last time I tried to impress a female with boxing talk? Those wounds are still open. The hot Ukrainian girl that rejected my Wladimir Klitschko knowledge? She has barely spoken to me since. Bloody rugmuncher.

Although that was before he was a neighbour of mine so I may well try again.

by **Union Cane** Mon 16 Mar 2015, 1:05 pm

You could attach a small mirror to your shoe, then by carefully positioning your foot between his / hers, if correctly angled, you should be able to ascertain whether there's a Cumberland in the gusset.

by Mind the windows Tino. Mon 16 Mar 2015, 1:08 pm

Union Cane wrote:You could attach a small mirror to your shoe, then by carefully positioning your foot between his / hers, if correctly angled, you should be able to ascertain whether there's a Cumberland in the gusset.

Good idea, but I don't have a small mirror with me. Mrs Windows probably has one or two I can take but there is no guarantee they'll be wearing a skirt tomorrow.

by **rIck_dAgless** Mon 16 Mar 2015, 1:19 pm

Tino wrote:Good idea, but I don't have a small mirror with me. Mrs Windows probably has one or two I can take but there is no guarantee they'll be wearing a skirt tomorrow.

Or really shiny shoes, If you have a shoe shine boy knocking around that would help, plus you can get his views on Quantum Theory.

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