The Culture Cup Round x - Adam is a naughty naughty boy

First topic message reminder :

I love you all, not in a massively gay way, apart from Tina obviously.

991

Union Cane wrote:

Union Cane wrote:

seanmichaels wrote: my housemate had lashed under her bed whilst going down on her.

Still not getting this bit.

Fixed for you.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Rowley wrote:Look if Sean says it is true that will do for me, otherwise what are we suggesting, that he makes up his sexual prowess potentially to mask deeply rooted and as of yet unresolved childhood trauma perhaps related to his public school upbringing.

Patently such a theory is nonsense completely out of left field and without any merit whatsoever.

Have I ever told you about the time I 'serviced' a bus load of pornstars who were on their way to a shoot but just happened to get lost in Runcorn?

GOSPEL.

Ched Evans' fiancée asked me to do a big sex in her as a means for getting back at her fella (even though she still believes he's innocent). She told me it would be a cathartic experience and out of all the people in the world, I was the only one who would do as she got my name from Ryan Giggs wife who'd asked me to do the same thing...GOSPEL

Damn your eyes, Rowley.

It is not out of the ordinary. My threesome one is good.

seanmichaels wrote:It is not out of the ordinary. My threesome one is good.

No, it isn't

windy liked it.

No, he didn't. He tolerated you telling him it and then pitied you and everyone who's ever had to endure if before or after.

He was eating the hairy pie and did a wee under the bed?

Union Cane wrote:He was eating the hairy pie and did a wee under the bed?

Apparently so.

It's GOSPEL.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Union Cane wrote:He was eating the hairy pie and did a wee under the bed?

Apparently so.

It's GOSPEL.

If it was gospel i'd have changed religion long ago

How did he get his willy pointing under the bed?

ShahenshahG wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Union Cane wrote:He was eating the hairy pie and did a wee under the bed?

Apparently so.

It's GOSPEL.

If it was gospel i'd have changed religion long ago

To be honest it makes the kind of argument for atheism that Richard Dawkins could only dream of.

Rowley wrote:

ShahenshahG wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Union Cane wrote:He was eating the hairy pie and did a wee under the bed?

Apparently so.

It's GOSPEL.

If it was gospel i'd have changed religion long ago

To be honest it makes the kind of argument for atheism that Richard Dawkins could only dream of.

If he saw seans arse in a dream, no wonder he denies the existence of any benevolent deity.

Union Cane wrote:How did he get his willy pointing under the bed?

a) There was hole in the mattress
b) His knob was massive
c) Sean is making things up again

ShahenshahG wrote:

Rowley wrote:

ShahenshahG wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Union Cane wrote:He was eating the hairy pie and did a wee under the bed?

Apparently so.

It's GOSPEL.

If it was gospel i'd have changed religion long ago

To be honest it makes the kind of argument for atheism that Richard Dawkins could only dream of.

If he saw seans arse in a dream, no wonder he denies the existence of any benevolent deity.

he would however believe in the existence of black holes

DAVE667 wrote:

ShahenshahG wrote:

Rowley wrote:

ShahenshahG wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Union Cane wrote:He was eating the hairy pie and did a wee under the bed?

Apparently so.

It's GOSPEL.

If it was gospel i'd have changed religion long ago

To be honest it makes the kind of argument for atheism that Richard Dawkins could only dream of.

If he saw seans arse in a dream, no wonder he denies the existence of any benevolent deity.

he would however believe in the existence of black holes

Thats just one of many events in space that are caused by sean. Why this upcoming friday morning his arse is going to be rolled off the top bunk and deposited onto the lower bunk.

I once sang. GOSPEL.

JuliusHMarx wrote:I once sang. GOSPEL.

Always rely on you to bring a touch of class to proceedings, Jules.

There is no anagram for "ploges".

GOSPEL.

On an night out with Bros I saw both Matt and Luke Goss pull

DAVE667 wrote:On an night out with Bros I saw both Matt and Luke Goss pull

In the john. Mark my words.

JuliusHMarx wrote:

DAVE667 wrote:On an night out with Bros I saw both Matt and Luke Goss pull

In the john. Mark my words.

To quote Windy (who definitely didn't like Sean's threesome story) 0 out of 10

Anyway, I've got trouble with a bandage on my hand that keeps catching/snagging. I don't know what's making the gauze pull.

News coming in from Spain.

"Role reversal shocker as matador gores bull"

Fist!

GOSPEL

Morning all.

Windows'd

Morning all. How are we all this Thursday?

Rowley wrote:Morning all. How are we all this Thursday?

Great Jeff. Tired after spending all night having a threesome with Jessica Alba and Rachel Weisz but other than that I'm good.

GOSPEL.

You?

I'm good Tina, looking forward to the weekend TSMR is out all day Saturday so Gemma Arterton has agreed to come round. She is apparently bringing loads of champagne and cocaine for a drug fuelled sex session.

GOSPEL

I once had an affair with Lynne Thigpen.

GODSPELL

JuliusHMarx wrote:I once had an affair with Lynne Thigpen.

GODSPELL

Google informs me that this is excellent work, Jules.

I know a football manager who named their child after a well known High Street retailer

ARGOS PELLEGRINI

Aspirin is a wonder drug.

GOD'S PILL

I once had a fire lighter that lasted for ages and never failed

GOOD SPILL

JuliusHMarx wrote:Aspirin is a wonder drug.

GOD'S PILL

Do you know if you spray dissolved aspirin on Tomatoes (whilst they are growing), it makes them sweeter?

seanmichaels wrote:

JuliusHMarx wrote:Aspirin is a wonder drug.

GOD'S PILL

Do you know if you spray dissolved aspirin on Tomatoes (whilst they are growing), it makes them sweeter?

GOSPEL?

When is DAVE's birthday. I have found him the perfect gift.

http://www.iconbeverages.co.uk/wine/slayer-reign-in-blood

Rowley wrote:When is DAVE's birthday. I have found him the perfect gift.

http://www.iconbeverages.co.uk/wine/slayer-reign-in-blood

Great find.

The letters on the bottle are in CAPITALS as well.

Good work.

Hugh Jackman has had to cancel a gig in Turkey on doctor's orders. A shame because he's a nice chap and his many fans were looking forward to it.

DAVE wrote:Great find.

The letters on the bottle are in CAPITALS as well.

Good work.

I can order it to mine and deposit it at the local police station... Though it may or may not be destroyed in a controlled explosion.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Rowley wrote:When is DAVE's birthday. I have found him the perfect gift.

http://www.iconbeverages.co.uk/wine/slayer-reign-in-blood

Great find.

The letters on the bottle are in CAPITALS as well.

Good work.

I thought so, goes without say we won't be buying him anything, but at least thinking about it to the extent of finding a gift shows we care.

Nice Tipple for Windows:


http://www.wine-searcher.com/wine-143019-0001-mick-hucknall-il-cantante-etna-rosso-sicily-italy

JuliusHMarx wrote:Hugh Jackman has had to cancel a gig in Turkey on doctor's orders. A shame because he's a nice chap and his many fans were looking forward to it.

What sort of 'gig'?

Just sat there talking, I expect? I'm sure he'll put on his best "look at me I'm such a humble guy, I'm so grateful for all my success and it's down to my brilliant fans".

I know the truth. He's a foul mouthed braggadocio who wears sunglasses indoors. At night.

Massive c*nt.

Massive, GOSPEL c*nt.

Rowley wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Rowley wrote:When is DAVE's birthday. I have found him the perfect gift.

http://www.iconbeverages.co.uk/wine/slayer-reign-in-blood

Great find.

The letters on the bottle are in CAPITALS as well.

Good work.

I thought so, goes without say we won't be buying him anything, but at least thinking about it to the extent of finding a gift shows we care.

Excellent work, Jeff.

Speaking of Birthdays... I see Union has one coming up soon.

Let's keep it to ourselves but I've bought him a present on behalf of all of us.

http://www.winestreet.com.au/wine-shop/red/angus-the-bull-wee-angus-cabernet-merlot/

And one for Jeff:

http://www.coalpitwine.com/

A Financial Adviser just come over to our section to ask a few questions. Holy mother of God she is fit. She can discuss protection with me anytime.

seanmichaels wrote:A Financial Adviser just come  over to our section to ask a few questions. Holy mother of God she is fit. She can discuss protection with me anytime.

I'm sure it's only a matter of time before you've got her in bed, tying her hair round your hampton and p*ssing under her parrot.

Nah, my Hampton is in retirement.

Morning non-wine-for-my-birthday-purchasing b!tches.

Have already seen the SLAYER wine, wife has already dismissed the idea out of hand, divorce proceedings imminent...GOSPEL*.


*not 100% sure I'm allowed to use the word GOSPEL in the same sentence as SLAYER. Think bad stuff happens...

seanmichaels wrote:Nah, my Hampton is in retirement.

May as well tie her parrot to your Hampton and p!ss in her hair instead...although I'm sure you have a story about some conquest who's into that stuff anyway.