The Culture Cup Round x - Adam is a naughty naughty boy

by Rowley Thu 05 Mar 2015, 9:03 am

First topic message reminder :

I love you all, not in a massively gay way, apart from Tina obviously.

991

by **Pal Joey** Wed 11 Mar 2015, 10:21 am

Press This Puffin In An Emergency.

by **ShahenshahG** Wed 11 Mar 2015, 10:27 am

The Loaded Dog wrote:Press This Puffin In An Emergency.

Then make sure to get to the assembly point across the road. In the interest of safety please cross at the pelican crossing.

by **rIck_dAgless** Wed 11 Mar 2015, 10:36 am

Morning peeps, not much happening on here today...

by Guest Wed 11 Mar 2015, 10:51 am

ShahenshahG wrote:
The Loaded Dog wrote:Press This Puffin In An Emergency.

Then make sure to get to the assembly point across the road. In the interest of safety please cross at the pelican crossing.

On arrival, report to Albert Ross

by **ShahenshahG** Wed 11 Mar 2015, 10:59 am

A pair of T*ts
a Robin too
a penguin and
a cockatoo

These are the things for TLD
to masturbate in the bird sanctuary

An ostrich running across the plain
a parrot for TLD to train
Kingfishers dives
and geese in fives
and a falcon dashing across the skies

For nature has its beauty so
and an aussie would be the one to know
There's such delight
at such great heights
observing graceful avian flights

From long necked swan
to flamingos pink
And poultry though, they stink, they stink
there's hummingbirds and woodpeckers
and pigeons the sh*tting feckers

All these things and so much More
For TLD to explore
from grassland to the sandy shore
are birds and birds and birds galore

So TLD, start a calling new
and wake up to the morning dew
A life so free is the one for thee
so good luck wherever youll be

But a word of warning a cautious note
about the birds upon whom you dote
when you pee or discharge sperm
pray they don't mistake it for a worm.

by **Pal Joey** Wed 11 Mar 2015, 11:47 am

Wow... I didn't know you were such a ~~bomb~~wordsmith, shah.

Very good.... in fact excellent.

Had a few of these creating havoc recently. They rip off branches and throw them everywhere. Not as noisy as a cockatoo though.

Little Corella:

They have that grey circle around their eyes. Like they've been boxing and have permanent bruises. Friendly phuckers though...

Here's a better photo of one.

Spoiler:

by **ShahenshahG** Wed 11 Mar 2015, 12:13 pm

TLD ya dopey stalkerish w* nker sl*g why didn't you share that bird here before. It looks like Tino started a pillow fight with his son and this was the end result. Laugh

I've always wanted to be falconer amongst other things. Something mad about them appeals to me.

by **Pal Joey** Wed 11 Mar 2015, 12:18 pm

Would you believe I took the grainy first photo on the walk back from the station on Saturday morning?

I saw all these shredded branches on the road then looked up in the tree.
They are quite human friendly. I walked right up under the tree. There were 3 of them.
One then threw another large twig with leaves attached onto the road... right at my feet (just missed my head) as if to impress me. Laugh

by **ShahenshahG** Wed 11 Mar 2015, 12:22 pm

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=BGPGknpq3e0

Might want to observe the simple crow.

by **ShahenshahG** Wed 11 Mar 2015, 12:27 pm

There was a report in germany of exploding toads that had scientists baffled for a brief period. Apparently the crows and had learned to pluck out the liver of the toad without killing it immediately. The liver controls or regulates rather how much a toad can expand to frighten off predators. Thus deprived of their liver they expanded and exploded. So if you've still got that toad problem I'd advise your government to import some German crows.

by **Pal Joey** Wed 11 Mar 2015, 12:29 pm

ShahenshahG wrote:https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=BGPGknpq3e0

Might want to observe the simple crow.

Brilliant. I love crows.

by **ShahenshahG** Wed 11 Mar 2015, 12:40 pm

Hundreds of others like that mate proper little problem solvers

by **Pal Joey** Wed 11 Mar 2015, 12:45 pm

Just watched the puppy/magpie and kitten/crow ones. Some bizzare behaviour there.

I remember one of an owl and a black cat in Spain... it was hillarious to watch the owl swoop at speed (with its funny face) then come to a screeching halt next to the cat.

by **ShahenshahG** Wed 11 Mar 2015, 12:53 pm

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Opv8vZ6RvB0

Just for you mate. This is one pervert. Might want to focus on the look on its face

by **ShahenshahG** Wed 11 Mar 2015, 12:59 pm

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=BAySycTIau0

by **Pal Joey** Wed 11 Mar 2015, 1:00 pm

This is the one. Galted's cat would go nuts in that situation.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Iqmba7npY8g

by **Pal Joey** Wed 11 Mar 2015, 1:05 pm

ShahenshahG wrote:https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Opv8vZ6RvB0

Just for you mate. This is one pervert. Might want to focus on the look on its face

Gives a whole new meaning to being "phucked in the head". Fry deserves it! Laugh

by Rowley Wed 11 Mar 2015, 4:56 pm

Rubbish on here today. I have two days off and the place falls to bits.

by **ShahenshahG** Wed 11 Mar 2015, 5:00 pm

Rowley wrote:Rubbish on here today. I have two days off and the place falls to bits.

It wasnt your absence that did this Rowley, it was the fact you took the time to breastfeed tino and therefore left no one to make this place work. I was called away to work LD my apologies was quite enjoying the videos.

by **Pal Joey** Wed 11 Mar 2015, 7:54 pm

Not to worry, shah.

It was either that or another Bond quiz I suppose.

Good licking, everyone.

by **Galted** Wed 11 Mar 2015, 10:23 pm

The Loaded Dog wrote:This is the one. Galted's cat would go nuts in that situation.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Iqmba7npY8g

She's too devious to go nuts. She's worked out the tactic of flinching when we have a stare-down which forces my hand and then she strikes like a phucking cobra. I'm sure she'd just set a trap for an owl and then pounce.

by **Galted** Thu 12 Mar 2015, 6:05 am

Phist!

Get in there.

by Mind the windows Tino. Thu 12 Mar 2015, 8:08 am

Galted wrote:Phist!

Get in there.

Here you are.

You left so early this morning.

by Mind the windows Tino. Thu 12 Mar 2015, 9:12 am

How are you, Tino?

by Mind the windows Tino. Thu 12 Mar 2015, 9:12 am

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:How are you, Tino?

All good thanks, you?

by Mind the windows Tino. Thu 12 Mar 2015, 9:12 am

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:How are you, Tino?

All good thanks, you?

Pretty good thanks. Quiet on here?

by Mind the windows Tino. Thu 12 Mar 2015, 9:13 am

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:How are you, Tino?

All good thanks, you?

Pretty good thanks. Quiet on here?

Desperate. Where the hell is everyone?

by Mind the windows Tino. Thu 12 Mar 2015, 9:16 am

Jessica Alba wrote:Hey, Tino. Thanks for last night. You were so good. AGAIN! LOL! Can't wait to see you again once the bruises have cleared up. Love you babes. xxx

by Rowley Thu 12 Mar 2015, 9:27 am

Morning Tina, hope you are well, apparently the boxing board has now been reduced to arguing over who is richest and who has the most important job. Obviously as a lowly northern scumbag I am way out of my depth. Don't suppose you will go in as my proxy?

On the off chance the conversation veers off into obscure sixties garage groups I will happily return the favour.

by **JuliusHMarx** Thu 12 Mar 2015, 9:29 am

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:How are you, Tino?

All good thanks, you?

Pretty good thanks. Quiet on here?

Desperate. Where the hell is everyone?

The culture cup passed away yesterday. I'm only here to tend the grave.

by Mind the windows Tino. Thu 12 Mar 2015, 9:30 am

Rowley wrote:Don't suppose you will go in as my proxy?

As the great Meatloaf once said, Jeff, I'd do anything for love, but I won't do that.

Glad you're here though. I guess everyone else is on a different site that I haven't been invited to.

by Mind the windows Tino. Thu 12 Mar 2015, 9:31 am

JuliusHMarx wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:How are you, Tino?

All good thanks, you?

Pretty good thanks. Quiet on here?

Desperate. Where the hell is everyone?

The culture cup passed away yesterday. I'm only here to tend the grave.

What the hell happened?

I was off for my youngest girls 1st birthday. I should have said something. I feel awful now.

by Rowley Thu 12 Mar 2015, 9:33 am

The price we pay for giving Shah and Sean a free reign. I can't help but blame myself to some extent.

by Mind the windows Tino. Thu 12 Mar 2015, 9:35 am

Rowley wrote:The price we pay for giving Shah and Sean a free reign. I can't help but blame myself to some extent.

Shah and Sean?

Surely that was just Shah spending a day talking about things that fit in Seans bumhole?

by **JuliusHMarx** Thu 12 Mar 2015, 9:40 am

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
Rowley wrote:The price we pay for giving Shah and Sean a free reign. I can't help but blame myself to some extent.

Shah and Sean?

Surely that was just Shah spending a day talking about things that fit in Seans bumhole?

Told you it died.

by **Galted** Thu 12 Mar 2015, 9:46 am

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
Galted wrote:Phist!

Get in there.

Here you are.

You left so early this morning.

You looked so peaceful I didn't want to wake you. I did wedge a note into Jess's flaps but it must've been swallowed.

by **ShahenshahG** Thu 12 Mar 2015, 10:18 am

Frak you bitches you left me here alone with rick I've got no dag so cheer me up dagless, dave must have sipped on hippy blood by mistake he was completely tame. Kingraf was being a snooty bitch to Truss over on the boxing board and Julius was sitting here tutting away with prophecies and statements of doom. Only TLD was good company and that was cut short by a call from my manager who chose yesterday of all days to actually give me work to do. Oh, and Sean was a complete void and that was just his arse.

by **Pal Joey** Thu 12 Mar 2015, 10:45 am

ShahenshahG wrote: Only TLD was good company and that was cut short by a call from my manager who chose yesterday of all days to actually give me work to do.

Please shah, you can call me Mongrel. TLD is synonymous with The Light of Day.
It's always pitch dark here and a bloody miracle my paws can actually hit the right keys.

So when do you leave on your assignment?

by Guest Thu 12 Mar 2015, 11:02 am

Been off one day this week and came back to discover b*st*rds had given me actual work to do...I'd complain to the Union (that's UNISON not the Culture Cup's Union) but what good would it do me?

On second thoughts CC's Union couldn't be much worse.

by Mind the windows Tino. Thu 12 Mar 2015, 11:37 am

Killed off again.

By a BON JOVI singing rozzer of all things.

by **rIck_dAgless** Thu 12 Mar 2015, 12:49 pm

I am stupidly busy at the moment, so apologies to all the C-Cup krew

by Mind the windows Tino. Thu 12 Mar 2015, 1:01 pm

http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/you-live-britains-most-adulterous-5315144

Runcorn at number 5 Laugh

Well, there is f*ck all else to do there apart from fight and steal stuff.

Luton at 94. Do you know where your missus is today, Shah?

by **ShahenshahG** Thu 12 Mar 2015, 1:03 pm

Classics -name the book from where each character comes from.

James Forster
John Felton
Vincent Spaulding
Baron Blakely
Becky Thatcher

by **ShahenshahG** Thu 12 Mar 2015, 1:05 pm

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/you-live-britains-most-adulterous-5315144

Runcorn at number 5 Well, there is f*ck all else to do there apart from fight and steal stuff.

Luton at 94. Do you know where your missus is today, Shah?

In Norfolk. I traded her for two cows.

by **ShahenshahG** Thu 12 Mar 2015, 1:09 pm

With regards to that Tino. You'd have to take 70% of that off because of the bullshite factor

by Mind the windows Tino. Thu 12 Mar 2015, 1:12 pm

ShahenshahG wrote:With regards to that Tino. You'd have to take 70% of that off because of the bullshite factor

What, the trade for your missus or the infidelity list?

by **Union Cane** Thu 12 Mar 2015, 1:13 pm

Passing through like a storm. This no sleep thing is more difficult than I remember, I'm bollocksed. Back to work on Monday, should be fun.

by **ShahenshahG** Thu 12 Mar 2015, 1:17 pm

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
ShahenshahG wrote:With regards to that Tino. You'd have to take 70% of that off because of the bullshite factor

What, the trade for your missus or the infidelity list?

Both. The former because cows cant do bullshite they're the wrong gender and the latter because the person answering hopes the person asking will be impressed by their fictional sexual prowess and offer them a rimjob

by Mind the windows Tino. Thu 12 Mar 2015, 1:18 pm

ShahenshahG wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
ShahenshahG wrote:With regards to that Tino. You'd have to take 70% of that off because of the bullshite factor

What, the trade for your missus or the infidelity list?

Both. The former because cows cant do bullshite they're the wrong gender and the latter because the person answearing hopes the person asking will be impressed by their fictional sexual prowess and offer them a rimjob

Are you suggesting that Seany bullsh*ts about all his sexual conquests?

by **ShahenshahG** Thu 12 Mar 2015, 1:24 pm

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
ShahenshahG wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
ShahenshahG wrote:With regards to that Tino. You'd have to take 70% of that off because of the bullshite factor

What, the trade for your missus or the infidelity list?

Both. The former because cows cant do bullshite they're the wrong gender and the latter because the person answearing hopes the person asking will be impressed by their fictional sexual prowess and offer them a rimjob

Are you suggesting that Seany bullsh*ts about all his sexual conquests?

Bing bong billy

Ask a silly question get a silly answer

The only thing more fictional than seans sexual conquests is tophats weight loss.

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