The Culture Cup Round x - Adam is a naughty naughty boy

First topic message reminder :

seanmichaels wrote:

Rowley wrote:I'm trying to help Sean, genuinely believe eliminating such phrases from your vocabulary might assist you.

I am very polite in real life. Helped a blind lady on a train yesterday.

She wanted to get into a taxi though

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rxBMT0rH9hU

Hibbz wrote:A box without hinges, key or lid,
Yet golden treasure inside is hid.

Is it Sonia jackson's growler?

Your standards are getting lower, Sean.

seanmichaels wrote:

Hibbz wrote:A box without hinges, key or lid,
Yet golden treasure inside is hid.

Is it Sonia jackson's growler?

Ha ha brilliant. It's good but it's not tight.

Say what you see (smell).

Dolphin Ziggler wrote:Your standards are getting lower, Sean.

I think you underestimate his desperation. He's been there before.

I would guess an egg but that's quite boring

Hibbz wrote:

seanmichaels wrote:

Hibbz wrote:A box without hinges, key or lid,
Yet golden treasure inside is hid.

Is it Sonia jackson's growler?

Ha ha brilliant. It's good but it's not tight.

Say what you see (smell).

                             

Hibbz, you've dropped to Michaels' level of desperation. Disgraceful

Adam D wrote:I would guess an egg but that's quite boring

Eggs aren't boring. They can be boiled, fried, scrambled, poached, made into meringues etc

On a Glated scale of 1 to 10 mentioning meringue as a use for an egg is pretty glay. Yorkshire puddings didn't even make your list

Having a radox muscle soak. As Jeffrey would say, deeevine..

Think the mods should try to force this poster onto the Culture Cup thread...

TJ wrote:There is the herring Gull - thats the big stroppy one that eats rubbish but not herrings
There is the lessor and greater black backed gulls - that actually have black wings not backs
There is the black headed gull thats head is brown part of the year and white the rest
There is the common gull that is actually quite rare
There is the kittiwake thats not actually called a gull although it is one.
None of their names are actually true

There is no such bird as a seagull!

He is to the existence of seagulls debate what Dawkins and Hitchins are to the existence of God debate*.

* though the existence of Julius H Marx might prove Dawkins and Hitchins wrong.

God night to be a Villa fan Galted, and they don't come along too often.

Yep, at least they choose the right moments to get a win - makes being poor easier to take if your neighbours are poorer than you.

Galted wrote:Yep, at least they choose the right moments to get a win - makes being poor easier to take if your neighbours are poorer than you.

Humanity in a nutshell

Morning all.

rick_dagless wrote:Morning all.

Morning RiCK. You alright?

I'm liking this TJ chap. Knows sh*t loads about seagulls.

Hmm, looks promising, seems to be knowledge rather than wiki...

I am good today, pleasant morning here in Bradders, how is the south?

rick_dagless wrote:Hmm, looks promising, seems to be knowledge rather than wiki...

I am good today, pleasant morning here in Bradders, how is the south?

Apart from the obvious drawback of being in the south, it is a particularly pleasant today.

Bit of a crisp chill in the air but the sky is blue and the sun is shining.

Similar here, autumn is my favourite season so all good.

Though busy today and need to prep a best man speech which, considering the amount of presentations and stuff I do, I am absolutely papping it about...

rick_dagless wrote:Similar here, autumn is my favourite season so all good.

Though busy today and need to prep a best man speech which, considering the amount of presentations and stuff I do, I am absolutely papping it about...

Tell them the groom likes apples, wants to be big in Cider.

seanmichaels wrote:

rick_dagless wrote:Similar here, autumn is my favourite season so all good.

Though busy today and need to prep a best man speech which, considering the amount of presentations and stuff I do, I am absolutely papping it about...

Tell them the groom likes apples, wants to be big in Cider.

Or say they are going to Wales for the honeymoon. He is going to Bangor for two weeks.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

seanmichaels wrote:

rick_dagless wrote:Similar here, autumn is my favourite season so all good.

Though busy today and need to prep a best man speech which, considering the amount of presentations and stuff I do, I am absolutely papping it about...

Tell them the groom likes apples, wants to be big in Cider.

Or say they are going to Wales for the honeymoon.  He is going to Bangor for two weeks.

That is good.

seanmichaels wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

seanmichaels wrote:

rick_dagless wrote:Similar here, autumn is my favourite season so all good.

Though busy today and need to prep a best man speech which, considering the amount of presentations and stuff I do, I am absolutely papping it about...

Tell them the groom likes apples, wants to be big in Cider.

Or say they are going to Wales for the honeymoon.  He is going to Bangor for two weeks.

That is good.

As was yours.

I'd like to say I came up with it but I can't. Heard it at the last wedding I went to. Lots of tittering all round.

My mate married a Colombian and the best man said something like 'The Colombian contingent will be pleased to know I was up all night preparing some lines for today'. Bar one table, it was a pretty disastrous opening gambit.

seanmichaels wrote:My mate married a Colombian and the best man said something like 'The Colombian contingent will be pleased to know I was up all night preparing some lines for today'. Bar one table, it was a pretty disastrous opening gambit.

Quality.

I have a similar experience of a mate who married a septic. His best man opened up with "Being asked to be best man is like being asked to sh*g the Queen Mother. It's a great honour but no one really wants to do it".

The English contingent fell about laughing, the American half of the room sat there in stony faced silence.

They are both from Northwich so maybe a Floatel related pun? Or something about salt?

Morning all, up the Villa.

rick_dagless wrote:They are both from Northwich so maybe a Floatel related pun?  Or something about salt?

Definitely get the Floatel in there.

I'm sure you can get some sort of salt/jizz related pun in there. Man of your erudition.

Morning Jeff.

Ha!

The best man I was talking about is getting married next summer in France. He is marrying the ex's sister. That will be interesting as he is insisting I still have to go. Regardless, he'll get detroyed on his stag do and in the best man's speech. His best man is an animal. Rugby playing stockbroker in London

I like the queen mum joke so nice one...

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

rick_dagless wrote:Morning all.

Morning RiCK.  You alright?

I'm liking this TJ chap.  Knows sh*t loads about seagulls.

I need to know if the red mark on their beaks is the ketchup stain they get from years of eating chips at the seaside. Sounds like he's the man who'll have the right answer.

DAVE667 wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

rick_dagless wrote:Morning all.

Morning RiCK.  You alright?

I'm liking this TJ chap.  Knows sh*t loads about seagulls.

I need to know if the red mark on their beaks is the ketchup stain they get from years of eating chips at the seaside. Sounds like he's the man who'll have the right answer.

He knows more about them I do. Although I know the key fact that they don't exist. I would ask TJ, SerialDAVE. And if you're not happy with his answer then just decapitate him.

DAVE667 wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

rick_dagless wrote:Morning all.

Morning RiCK.  You alright?

I'm liking this TJ chap.  Knows sh*t loads about seagulls.

I need to know if the red mark on their beaks is the ketchup stain they get from years of eating chips at the seaside. Sounds like he's the man who'll have the right answer.

I always used to think that!

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

DAVE667 wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

rick_dagless wrote:Morning all.

Morning RiCK.  You alright?

I'm liking this TJ chap.  Knows sh*t loads about seagulls.

I need to know if the red mark on their beaks is the ketchup stain they get from years of eating chips at the seaside. Sounds like he's the man who'll have the right answer.

He knows more about them I do.  Although I know the key fact that they don't exist.  I would ask TJ, SerialDAVE.  And if you're not happy with his answer then just decapitate him.

I could then feed him to the gulls, terns, spoonbills, curlew, whimbrels and whatever else I choose in a psychotic fit of ironic whimsy...or just leave him to wash up on the shoreline.

seanmichaels wrote:My mate married a Colombian and the best man said something like 'The Colombian contingent will be pleased to know I was up all night preparing some lines for today'. Bar one table, it was a pretty disastrous opening gambit.

l*l

My best man made a joke about a Rotherham girl's usual protection during sex being a bus shelter. There were pockets of the room it did not go over too well with.

That is a belter.

It is a funny old tradition. Essentially the role is to offend 75% of the wedding party.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Apart from the obvious drawback of being in the south, it is a particularly pleasant

You seem to ignore or, more likely, forget the fact that when you're in the south you're closer to the equator, the most rock 'n roll of all the lines of latitude.



UTV

Rowley,

What did you make of Rowett's claim that he knew the Villa side on Monday? And what is Sherwood's problem with Gestede?

Not too sure what to make if it Ali, made little difference in the end. I like Gestede. He certainly looks more of a goal threat than Gabby (damning with faint praise I realise) Thought we looked way better second half. Grealish made such a difference, he makes things happen.

On my wedding speech I said that it really was the Cinderella wedding as my wife came with two ugly sisters. That didn't go down well with them.

Odd that he won't play to his strengths. Never bought the fascination with Gabby. It's certainly a strange claim to make, especially after the game.

Hero wrote:On my wedding speech I said that it really was the Cinderella wedding as my wife came with two ugly sisters. That didn't go down well with them.

You legend.

And to all your anecdotes. You guys are on fire today...er forget I told you that.

ShahenshahG wrote:And to all your anecdotes. You guys are on fire today...er forget I told you that.

Shah sees into the future

Rowley wrote:My best man made a joke about a Rotherham girl's usual protection during sex being a bus shelter. There were pockets of the room it did not go over too well with.

Closely followed by
How do you know when a Rotherham lass has had an orgasm?
She drops her chips!

Is TSMR a Rotherite Jeff?

I once attended a wedding in pakistan proper. An arranged marriage for one of the girls in the extended family. A proper beauty that had managed to tug at a campaigning politicians heartstrings. So being enamoured of her he got it sorted without realising he'd be inviting kashmiri hillbillies to the wedding. In the end only 6 of us ended up making the trip. So on the night before the wedding there were us 6 and a crowd of politicians clad in their facsimile of Tino clothing shou ting out pretty lame insults at the groom. Then suddenly dad tottered to his feet and approached the groom on the stage whose grin became rather fixed. Dad put his arm around the groom and started pointing at his godawful three striped jumper demanding people answer what colour each stripe was. In the spirit of things we started shouting out the answers.

Pointing at the top stripe
Dad: What colour is this ?
Us: WHITE

Pointing at middle stripe
Dad: What colour is this?
Us: GREY

Pointing at the last stripe
Dad: What colour is this?
Us: BLACK

So dad gives us all a Poopie eating grin and says that this man is a true politician - the closer you get to his heart the blacker it gets.

Only the 5 of us laughed.

seanmichaels wrote:Is TSMR a Rotherite Jeff?

Born and bred Sean.