The Culture Cup Round x - Adam is a naughty naughty boy

First topic message reminder :

Daddy long legs are a nightmare for cricket groundsman. Their larvae are called Leatherjackets feed on the roots of the grass and can devastate the square. Season is done but the crows are digging up the bastards on my square at the moment.

Beggars can't be choosers, sean.

I actually don't think I have ever done a northerner (Jock excluded).

Can't say i've ever bothered to check.

Alistair wrote:Can't say i've ever bothered to check.

surely they would smell of gravy which would give it away?

seanmichaels wrote:

Alistair wrote:Can't say i've ever bothered to check.

surely they would smell of gravy which would give it away?

Thought that was a myth?

windows would know if he were here.

Perhaps he is Sue Lloyd-Roberts?

Sorry for being tardy to the party...was busy weeping with joy over Jules' poem (and a recently slaughtered crackhead)

Probably with Northern birds is that they sound even grubbier when moaning. However, they are easier.

An old school friend once had a bag of chips off a northern bird's back whilst he was hanging out the back of her.

Lad i knew once told his bird he wanted to write 'Standing on the Shoulder of Giants' on her back cause it was his favourite Oasis album. Ended up writing something we told him to and he showed the entire pub.

Alistair wrote:Lad i knew once told his bird he wanted to write 'Standing on the Shoulder of Giants' on her back cause it was his favourite Oasis album. Ended up writing something we told him to and he showed the entire pub.

Fascinating story Al but missing one vital component.

DAVE667 wrote:

Alistair wrote:Lad i knew once told his bird he wanted to write 'Standing on the Shoulder of Giants' on her back cause it was his favourite Oasis album. Ended up writing something we told him to and he showed the entire pub.

Fascinating story Al but missing one vital component.

The video?

The name Sean

FIST....BITCHES!!!!!

Morning DAVE, unruly sprogs again?

Sicond

Moving down the Pecking order pretty sharpish.

Morning slayerfloozie and Rick the Sick.

Morning Shah how you doing?

Not bad, got a 16 hour day today so that'll change a few hours into the shift. Bit brisk this morning, might need to start wearing a coat soon. Hows things with you?

Similar mate, cold morn and long day ahead, but almost the weekend so all good.

Though aware that DAVE may well be hiding somewhere, so if I go quiet, delete my browsing history...

l*l

I promise mate. I'll even leave the Jew alive long enough to do it although hero has been offering in to replace Adam for free.

Rick your badge is gone

I'm not happy...wife at work, still plenty of darkness but I'm with my children and even I balk at the idea of taking them along for one last hacking before the sun's up

Shah wrote:Rick your badge is gone Shocked

I can never see it anyway, I will complain to Adam...

DAVE wrote:I'm not happy...wife at work, still plenty of darkness but I'm with my children and even I balk at the idea of taking them along for one last hacking before the sun's up

Fine morn for a stabbing spree as well mate, are the kids up to full blade usage now?

Morning.

Morning sean.

seanmichaels wrote:An old school friend once had a bag of chips off a northern bird's back whilst he was hanging out the back of her.

No he didn't Sean. Either you've done your usual thing of making it up, or he made it up and you, being simple and easily led, believed him.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

seanmichaels wrote:An old school friend once had a bag of chips off a northern bird's back whilst he was hanging out the back of her.

No he didn't Sean.  Either you've done your usual thing of making it up, or he made it up and you, being simple and easily led, believed him.

It isn't that far fetched. I've heard worse.

sean wrote:It isn't that far fetched. I've heard worse.

From people who are lying and/or p0rn mag agony aunt pages.

Does anyone still buy porn mags?

Why? Are you selling some? Sure an old schooler like Jules would be interested

Playboy are no longer going to publish pictures of naked women.

So Playboy will now be completely pointless?

Morning.

I remember stealing a few porn mags as a kid.

Had a great technique. Pick two up, one on top of the other. Then roll one up underneath the other one (into a kind of half circle) and slip it up the arm of your sleeve and it sat nicely around ones forearm.

Put the other one back and casually wander out of the shop.

Shoplifting techniques got passed down from older kids in the north west. I assume RicK used something similar.

Greetings Alistair Tino Sean and Jules

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:I remember stealing a few porn mags as a kid.

Had a great technique.  Pick two up, one on top of the other.  Then roll one up underneath the other one (into a kind of half circle) and slip it up the arm of your sleeve and it sat nicely around ones forearm.

Put the other one back and casually wander out of the shop.

Shoplifting techniques got passed down from older kids in the north west.  I assume RicK used something similar.

I remember stealing on school trips at my first school. It always used to be pointless stuff like rubbers or those rulers with all the kings/queens of England listed.

A few years after I left my senior school there was a Geography field trip to Swanage and 10+ kids were arrested for thievery. The story made the local rags.

Alistair wrote:So Playboy will now be completely pointless?

Morning.

Yes, even worse than Japanese porn where they pixilate everything out. What's the point?
Also on the subject... why do Americans blank out jugs when there is so much violence & sleaze in every other aspect of their society?

Good method, Tino. Used a similar method to yours once or twice. Must have had rocks in my head.

The Loaded Dog wrote:

Alistair wrote:So Playboy will now be completely pointless?

Morning.

Yes, even worse than Japanese porn where they pixilate everything out. What's the point?
Also on the subject... why do Americans blank out jugs when there is so much violence & sleaze in every other aspect of their society?

Good method, Tino. Used a similar method to yours once or twice. Must have had rocks in my head.

They keep doing that over here, Dog.

The Daily Mail and Mirror keep blurring out nipples. B*stards.

Morning Shah!

Heff must be getting ready to settle down with his 127th wife, it's not like anyone reads Playboy for the articles.

You're joking, Tino! I always thought the UK was ahead of the curve when it came to smut.
The page 3 girl is finished now isn't it? They were half covered up were they not?

The Loaded Dog wrote:You're joking, Tino! I always though the UK was ahead of the curve when it came to smut.
The page 3 girl is finished now isn't it? They were half covered up were they not?

I think page 3 is still going. Sean can probably confirm that.

But no, I'm not joking about the nipples. They will show a girls bare backside, but not a nipple. Very selective smut.

The Sun no longer do page 3, at least not topless. You'll probably still get in the Sport though, along with tales or the homeless dude that w*nked a dog off for a pack of quavers.

Bastards.

Alistair wrote:along with tales or the homeless dude that w*nked a dog off for a pack of quavers.

Sean?

Had a bag of quavers the other day. The grab bags are quite sickly if you make it through one in a sitting.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Alistair wrote:along with tales or the homeless dude that w*nked a dog off for a pack of quavers.

Sean?

Probably.

Makes sense, especially if we adopt Sean's method of storytelling which is either making up sh!t to sound cool or blindly believing any old b*ll*cks a random stranger (that Sean then thinks is his friend) tells him then repeats it as GOSPEL

Alright Dave, keep you 'hair' on.

seanmichaels wrote:Alright Dave, keep you 'hair' on.

Sloppy.

I am feeling very apathetic. Noticed the error but couldn't be arsed to change it.