The Culture Cup Round x - Adam is a naughty naughty boy

by Mind the windows Tino. Tue Mar 08, 2016 11:59 am

First topic message reminder :

rick_dagless wrote:
The Loaded Dog wrote:
rick_dagless wrote:
Tino wrote:Why would they advise not to kill them? Not that anyone listens I guess but why would they advise that?

They keep the mosquito, cockroach, silverfish, etc... numbers in check. They are always open for spider donations from the general public for venom milking purposes.

Good answer. Very well said.

Cheers TLD, I learnt from the best...

I know that, but I just find it odd that there is actually specific advice on the subject.

It must be fact you actually have an arthropod world worth talking about.

by **superflyweight** Wed Mar 30, 2016 1:38 pm

rick_dagless wrote:Just for you Tino, for some unknown reason some guy send round some facts every week here, most are mundane/obvious but today he sent over these Ant facts...

There are more than 12,000 species of ants all over the world.
Ants don’t have ears. Ants "hear" by feeling vibrations in the ground through their feet.
When foraging, ants leave a pheromone trail so that they know where they’ve been.
Queen ants have wings, which they shed when they start a new nest.
Ants don’t have lungs. Oxygen enters through tiny holes all over the body and carbon dioxide leaves through the same holes.
In certain ant species, the soldier ants have modified heads, shaped to match the nest entrance. They block access to the nest by sitting just inside the entrance, with their heads facing out like a cork in a bottle.

The total biomass of all the ants on Earth is roughly equal to the total biomass of all the people on Earth.

Ants sometimes herd or tend to insects of other species, like aphids or leafhoppers.
Ants will do just about anything to get the sugary secretions of sap-sucking insects, called honeydew. To keep the sweet stuff in close supply, some ants will herd aphids, carrying the soft-bodied pests from plant to plant. Leafhoppers sometimes take advantage of this nurturing tendency in ants, and leave their young to be raised by the ants. This allows the leafhoppers to go raise another brood.

Ants will enslave other ants, keeping them captive and making them do work for the colony.
Quite a few ant species will take captives from other ant species, forcing them to do chores for their own colony. Some honeypot ants will even enslave ants of the same species, taking individuals from foreign colonies to do their bidding. Polyergus queens, also known as Amazon ants, raid the colonies of unsuspecting Formica ants. The Amazon queen will find and kill the Formica queen, then enslave the Formica workers. The slave workers help her rear her own brood. When her Polyergus offspring reach adulthood, their sole purpose is to raid other Formica colonies and bring back their pupae, ensuring a steady supply of slave workers.

Ants lived alongside the dinosaurs.
Ants evolved some 130 million years ago during the early Cretaceous period. Most fossil evidence of insects is found in lumps of ancient amber, or fossilized plant resin. The oldest known ant fossil, a primitive and now extinct ant species named Sphercomyrma freyi, was found in Cliffwood Beach, NJ. Though that fossil only dates back 92 million years, another fossil ant that proved nearly as old has a clear lineage to ants of present day. This suggests a much longer evolutionary line than previously thought, leading scientists to estimate the appearance of ants on Earth as somewhere around 130 million years ago.

Ants started farming long before humans.
Fungus farming ants began their agricultural ventures about 50 million years before humans thought to raise their own crops. The earliest evidence suggests ants began farming as early as 70 million years ago, in the early Tertiary period. Even more amazing, these ants used sophisticated horticultural techniques to enhance their crop yields. They secreted chemicals with antibiotic properties to inhibit mold growth, and devised fertilization protocols using manure.

Some ants form "supercolonies," massive communities of ants that can stretch for thousands of miles.
Argentine ants, native to South America, now inhabit every continent except Antarctica due to accidental introductions. Each ant colony has a distinctive chemical profile that enables members of the group to recognize each other, and alerts the colony to the presence of strangers. Scientists recently discovered that massive supercolonies in Europe, North America, and Japan all share the same chemical profile, meaning they are, in essence, a global supercolony of ants.

Ants follow scent trails laid by scout ants to gather food.
By following pheromone trails created by other ants from the colony, foraging ants can gather and store food efficiently. A scout ant first leaves the nest in search of food, and wanders somewhat randomly until it discovers something edible. It will then consume some of the food and return to the nest in a straight, direct line. It seems these scout ants can observe and recall visual cues that enable them to navigate quickly back to the nest. Along the return route, the scout ant leaves a trail of pheromones, special scents that will guide her nestmates to the food. The foraging ants then follow her path, each one adding more scent to the trail to reinforce it for others. The workers will continue walking back and forth along the line until the food source is depleted.

Fire ants defend their nests aggressively, and will swarm any organism they perceive as a threat. The bites and stings of fire ants are said to feel like you're being set on fire – thus the nickname. People with bee and wasp venom allergies may also be allergic to fire ant stings. Fire ants from South America that cause the most problems. Fire ants build mounds, usually in open, sunny places, so parks, farms, and golf courses are particularly vulnerable to fire ant infestations.

What a waste of evolution. Why don't they just shape the entrances to match the shape of their heads?

I am still alive - was working off-site at client's offices last week and then been busier than a Japanese prisoner of war ever since.

by Mind the windows Tino. Wed Mar 30, 2016 1:59 pm

ShahenshahG wrote:
rick_dagless wrote:Now calm down lads, TopHat is currently busy on the light hearted and jokey gear grinding thread, turning it into a downbeat conversation about noncery...

So pop over there if you want to throw insults around..

Can you feel the love tonight?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z53-KrhOveE

A peace offering Tino.

I don't believe that is a hornet. Could be a European hornet (the Spanish just call them wasps but they are different to what we call a wasp) but it looks more like a paper wasp to me.

It certainly isn't a 'proper' hornet of the British, or more pertinently, the giant Asian variety.

by **rIck_dAgless** Wed Mar 30, 2016 2:55 pm

Sausage, egg, chips and beans, 2/10

by **ShahenshahG** Wed Mar 30, 2016 3:13 pm

Portion of chips, Oasis Citrus. 5/10.

Was the food crap or you just sulking due to lack of soup Ricko?

by **ShahenshahG** Wed Mar 30, 2016 3:16 pm

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dh0al5iubSI

by **rIck_dAgless** Wed Mar 30, 2016 3:19 pm

ShahenshahG wrote:Portion of chips, Oasis Citrus. 5/10.

Was the food crap or you just sulking due to lack of soup Ricko?

Both, the only reason it got 2 was because one of the resident hotties was dining with me...

Who wants me GOSPEL etc..

by **ShahenshahG** Wed Mar 30, 2016 3:24 pm

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kjN_VFQZ8dg

by Mind the windows Tino. Wed Mar 30, 2016 3:31 pm

ShahenshahG wrote:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kjN_VFQZ8dg

This is great stuff. Buzzards are f*cking awesome. Honey buzzards even more so.

Bit like honey badgers really. Search and destroy merchants.

by **ShahenshahG** Wed Mar 30, 2016 4:26 pm

http://www.uswitch.com/mobiles/contract_deal/d276e08ca4556f77f6c16efc78e1550f6150ab9b?page=%2Fmobiles%2Fcompare%2Fcontract_phones%2F&position=6&sorted_by=bestseller

If you guys are interested - seems to be a fairly good deal.

by Guest Wed Mar 30, 2016 4:47 pm

It's a link to an IS "grooming" site

by **ShahenshahG** Wed Mar 30, 2016 4:52 pm

DAVE667 wrote:It's a link to an IS "grooming" site

To be honest, with the paucity of a sexes you guys get, I wouldn't need to groom you.

by Guest Wed Mar 30, 2016 4:54 pm

ShahenshahG wrote:
DAVE667 wrote:It's a link to an IS "grooming" site

To be honest, with the paucity of a sexes you guys get, I wouldn't need to groom you.

We'd* still appreciate you making an effort, damn it!

*Not Rowley, he'd happily be bummed without even a mention of Radox or jazz

by **ShahenshahG** Wed Mar 30, 2016 5:08 pm

I think Rick and Tino hurt Rowleys feelings yesterday with their relentless assault. A terse "Morning notches" and gone without so much as a by-your-leave.

by Guest Wed Mar 30, 2016 5:17 pm

He'll probably claim some sort of National emergency demands his attention although I fail to see how The Adsa running out of lavender Radox constitutes an emergency

by **ShahenshahG** Wed Mar 30, 2016 5:23 pm

DAVE667 wrote:He'll probably claim some sort of National emergency demands his attention although I fail to see how The Adsa running out of lavender Radox constitutes an emergency

What made him think that he could get Radox of all things, in an obscure Bengali village?

by Guest Wed Mar 30, 2016 5:29 pm

ShahenshahG wrote:
DAVE667 wrote:He'll probably claim some sort of National emergency demands his attention although I fail to see how The Adsa running out of lavender Radox constitutes an emergency

What made him think that he could get Radox of all things, in an obscure Bengali village?

I have no idea, I'm bored of my own ramblings at the minute and coming down from a rather intense drinking binge that has last somewhere in the region of 44 years. I may explain a lot, if not all, of my failings

by **ShahenshahG** Wed Mar 30, 2016 5:33 pm

DAVE667 wrote:
ShahenshahG wrote:
DAVE667 wrote:He'll probably claim some sort of National emergency demands his attention although I fail to see how The Adsa running out of lavender Radox constitutes an emergency

What made him think that he could get Radox of all things, in an obscure Bengali village?
I have no idea, I'm bored of my own ramblings at the minute and coming down from a rather intense drinking binge that has last somewhere in the region of 44 years. I may explain a lot, if not all, of my failings

It's all "me, me, me" with you. I quite enjoy our sessions of "which of these two, finds himself funniest, than the other?"

by **Galted** Wed Mar 30, 2016 6:23 pm

Here are some more arthropod facts:
northern wood ants go crunch
rhinocerous beetles go crunch
goliath birdeater tarantulas go scrrch
cockroaches go crunch

by Guest Wed Mar 30, 2016 8:16 pm

ShahenshahG wrote:
DAVE667 wrote:
ShahenshahG wrote:
DAVE667 wrote:He'll probably claim some sort of National emergency demands his attention although I fail to see how The Adsa running out of lavender Radox constitutes an emergency

What made him think that he could get Radox of all things, in an obscure Bengali village?
I have no idea, I'm bored of my own ramblings at the minute and coming down from a rather intense drinking binge that has last somewhere in the region of 44 years. I may explain a lot, if not all, of my failings

It's all "me, me, me" with you. I quite enjoy our sessions of "which of these two, finds himself funniest, than the other?"

Well it's obviously me even if all evidence points to the contrary. The opinions of all others are virtually worthless (except Tina obviously)

by **ShahenshahG** Thu Mar 31, 2016 8:27 am

Fist notches. Morning, Rantallion Rick

Energy abounds. Gorgeous blue sky.

clue number one was when you knocked on my door
clue number two was the look that you wore
n' that's when i knew, it was a pretty good sign
that something was wrong up on cloud number nine

well it's a long way up and we won't come down tonight
well it may be wrong but baby it sure feels right

and the moon is out and the stars are bright
and whatever comes s'gonna be alright
cause tonight you will be mine - up on cloud number nine
and there ain't no place that i'd rather be
and we can't go back but you're here with me
yeah, the weather is really fine - up on cloud number nine

now he hurt you and you hurt me
and that wasn't the way it was supposed to be
so baby tonight let's leave the world behind
and spend some time up on cloud number nine

well it's a long way up and we won't come down tonight
well it may be wrong but baby it sure feels right

well we won't come down tonight
ya we won't come down tonight
no we won't come down tonight

we can watch the world go by - up on cloud number nine

by **rIck_dAgless** Thu Mar 31, 2016 8:30 am

Morning dude, another banging tune to start the day off with a smile.

How you doing mate?

#sick

by **ShahenshahG** Thu Mar 31, 2016 8:59 am

Pretty good my friend, feeling alive and kicking, all the gym soreness has worn off just in time for another gym session tonight. Have been doing without the protein shakes and it seems to make me recover slower but can already see results. Practicing scales on the piano last night, getting my left hand coordinating properly seems to be an issue but managed to play a couple of tunes and keep the women happy. On another plus seems my right hand only needs to play something a couple of times to memorize it So pretty much all is good. What about you? Man who was born on April fools day?

by Mind the windows Tino. Thu Mar 31, 2016 9:02 am

Good morning.

by **rIck_dAgless** Thu Mar 31, 2016 9:05 am

ShahenshahG wrote:Pretty good my friend, feeling alive and kicking, all the gym soreness has worn off just in time for another gym session tonight. Have been doing without the protein shakes and it seems to make me recover slower but can already see results. Practicing scales on the piano last night, getting my left hand coordinating properly seems to be an issue but managed to play a couple of tunes and keep the women happy. On another plus seems my right hand only needs to play something a couple of times to memorize it So pretty much all is good. What about you? Man who was born on April fools day?

All good here mate, last day in for the week today, then friends and family over to go the racing on Saturday which should be a good day, and ploughed through the boring research bit and on to the shouty bit today, and the sun is shining... Nce.

Morning Tino

by **ShahenshahG** Thu Mar 31, 2016 9:14 am

Morning timorous Tino, all good in le hood?

by Mind the windows Tino. Thu Mar 31, 2016 9:15 am

ShahenshahG wrote:Morning timorous Tino, all good in le hood?

Truly magnificent, Shah.

You?

by **ShahenshahG** Thu Mar 31, 2016 9:18 am

rick_dagless wrote:
ShahenshahG wrote:Pretty good my friend, feeling alive and kicking, all the gym soreness has worn off just in time for another gym session tonight. Have been doing without the protein shakes and it seems to make me recover slower but can already see results. Practicing scales on the piano last night, getting my left hand coordinating properly seems to be an issue but managed to play a couple of tunes and keep the women happy. On another plus seems my right hand only needs to play something a couple of times to memorize it So pretty much all is good. What about you? Man who was born on April fools day?

All good here mate, last day in for the week today, then friends and family over to go the racing on Saturday which should be a good day, and ploughed through the boring research bit and on to the shouty bit today, and the sun is shining... Nce.

Morning Tino

Research? What on their chances of winning you mean?

by **rIck_dAgless** Thu Mar 31, 2016 9:28 am

Shah wrote:Research? What on their chances of winning you mean?

Nah on the software company and their sieve like contracts that I am going to tear to shreds today with any luck.

The Horses are just random...

by **ShahenshahG** Thu Mar 31, 2016 9:37 am

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
ShahenshahG wrote:Morning timorous Tino, all good in le hood?

Truly magnificent, Shah.

You?

Excellent start to the day, looks like everyone is in fine fettle. Could do with a pastry though.

by **seanmichaels** Thu Mar 31, 2016 9:39 am

Morning homies

by **rIck_dAgless** Thu Mar 31, 2016 9:46 am

Morning sean, how is life in the fast lane mate?

by **seanmichaels** Thu Mar 31, 2016 10:04 am

Surviving. Need a bit more work though. Cut and split over a ton of logs yesterday. Feeling it now.

What's been going on? Hear Haye has taken on a risky fight? Enjoying t20 at the moment. Some astonishing shots. Will enjoy watching some of the youngsters reverse scooping the ball straight into their noggings this season. Not playing till June I think. Have a torn lateral collateral ligament.

by **rIck_dAgless** Thu Mar 31, 2016 10:07 am

Not sure how risky the Haye fight is but looks ok on paper, T20 is really enjoyable, but it always is when we are doing well, it will be shoite again when we get our pants pulled down in the final.

If you want to watch balls slapping against young boys faces, who can blame you.

Barring that, TLD is on a hiatus, a proper one, not a Trussy one, Jeff is in a mood, Tino is busy, and Shah is... Shah, pretty quiet to be fair.

by **ShahenshahG** Thu Mar 31, 2016 10:16 am

Morning Sean the Horn. How goes your bumgardening? Been quiet on here without your anecdotes and general crass stupidity/winding up. Jeff really is in a mood, he's been ignoring us mostly except for the times he wants us to know he is ignoring us.

by Mind the windows Tino. Thu Mar 31, 2016 10:21 am

Seany! Glad you're alive.

You can come and do so work for me, I have sh*t loads to do in the garden that I have neither the time or inclination to do.

You must promise not to shag Mrs Windows senseless every time you see her though. She finds ugly German football managers irresistible and with you being a prolific swordsman, she will be dripping at the gash when you turn up. Especially if you're wearing denim shorts and an faded Ramones t-shirt.

by **seanmichaels** Thu Mar 31, 2016 10:27 am

I could wear arseless chainsaw trousers with nothing underneath?

by Mind the windows Tino. Thu Mar 31, 2016 10:31 am

seanmichaels wrote:I could wear arseless chainsaw trousers with nothing underneath?

Does it for me.

by **ShahenshahG** Thu Mar 31, 2016 10:37 am

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
seanmichaels wrote:I could wear arseless chainsaw trousers with nothing underneath?

Does it for me.

Rick Dagless esquire. as a representative of the law you shall notarize this post for (seans) posteriorty.

by Mind the windows Tino. Thu Mar 31, 2016 11:00 am

ShahenshahG wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
seanmichaels wrote:I could wear arseless chainsaw trousers with nothing underneath?

Does it for me.

Rick Dagless esquire. as a representative of the law you shall notarize this post for (seans) posteriorty.

I'm trying to tempt him back to the CC as membership is slipping round here.

I'm well aware I am grooming him but needs must.

by **rIck_dAgless** Thu Mar 31, 2016 11:10 am

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
ShahenshahG wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
seanmichaels wrote:I could wear arseless chainsaw trousers with nothing underneath?

Does it for me.

Rick Dagless esquire. as a representative of the law you shall notarize this post for (seans) posteriorty.

I'm trying to tempt him back to the CC as membership is slipping round here.

I'm well aware I am grooming him but needs must.

I am on it, and a colleague has witnessed, both the statement, and seen it in real life.

by **ShahenshahG** Thu Mar 31, 2016 11:12 am

I truly believe that Sean doesn't even have a lawnmower, its actual a pedal power toilet on wheels with his arse hoovering up or composting depending on which one of his testicles he squeezes.

by **ShahenshahG** Thu Mar 31, 2016 11:28 am

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J3766FEkaqQ

Like so

by Alistair Thu Mar 31, 2016 11:41 am

Morning.

by **ShahenshahG** Thu Mar 31, 2016 11:44 am

Morning Alistair, much obliged for the save. Are you well?

by Alistair Thu Mar 31, 2016 11:46 am

No problem!

Very well thanks, Year End today, nice and busy watching everyone panic.

How are you?

by **Pal Joey** Thu Mar 31, 2016 11:55 am

rick_dagless wrote:Blimey TLD is this a TRUSSY style eulogy to you TLD persona?

At least you can wait on till the pool has finished, or pop on to update, I feel a part of that project now...

G'day Ricko and all,
Hiatus interuptious. Don't worry mate, I'll post some updates of the project (which is now rolling along quite nicely) or PM you some pictures.

Had a fantastic day in court the other day.

After 6 hearings; the 'builder' did everything to stall proceedings and his 'evidence' was not accepted last September because it was late - by about a year! He then sacked his legal representative and expert building inspector a month or so back and then tried to represent himself.

He had me in the dock for about 4 hours before the case was adjourned back in Feb. It was very embarrassing for him that day. Then the c*nt had the most pathetic of excuses and didn't turn up on Tuesday to finish his cross examination of me. I was under oath for more than a month. The beak gave him until 10am to show up... which he didn't... so the case continued ex parte. My solicitor then did the most perfect summing up. Put the words literally in the judge's ears. The chronology of events were neatly presented in a letter to aid his decision. It was so good to see him faintly nodding in agreement with every thing that was listed in the points of claim.

Looks like I'll get a very positive order in my favour. The respondent will have little or no grounds for appeal (since he submitted no evidence!).
As soon as I get the written response from the court I can then go about making this d!ckhead's life very miserable indeed. For the record - I've been fighting this j*rk for 800 days (2 years 2 months 10 days). They don't normally award legal costs for this sort of thing apparently but my lawyer thinks I have a very good chance because of the nature of this crook's criminal and contemptuous behaviour.

by Guest Thu Mar 31, 2016 11:56 am

In years gone by we'd be smashing the f*ck out of the overtime budget but now....nothing!

by **ShahenshahG** Thu Mar 31, 2016 11:59 am

Alistair wrote:No problem!

Very well thanks, Year End today, nice and busy watching everyone panic.

How are you?

Fantastic my friend. Things going smoothly for a bit. The calm before the storm I think but i'll enjoy it while it lasts.

Congrats Tenacious TLD, we knew you'd get there some day.

Morning Dave-O. Surely one of your sprees would serve to create overtime?

by Alistair Thu Mar 31, 2016 12:13 pm

ShahenshahG wrote:
Alistair wrote:No problem!

Very well thanks, Year End today, nice and busy watching everyone panic.

How are you?

Fantastic my friend. Things going smoothly for a bit. The calm before the storm I think but i'll enjoy it while it lasts.

Good to hear.

by Mind the windows Tino. Thu Mar 31, 2016 12:41 pm

The Loaded Dog wrote:
rick_dagless wrote:Blimey TLD is this a TRUSSY style eulogy to you TLD persona?

At least you can wait on till the pool has finished, or pop on to update, I feel a part of that project now...

G'day Ricko and all,
Hiatus interuptious. Don't worry mate, I'll post some updates of the project (which is now rolling along quite nicely) or PM you some pictures.

Had a fantastic day in court the other day.

After 6 hearings; the 'builder' did everything to stall proceedings and his 'evidence' was not accepted last September because it was late - by about a year! He then sacked his legal representative and expert building inspector a month or so back and then tried to represent himself.

He had me in the dock for about 4 hours before the case was adjourned back in Feb. It was very embarrassing for him that day. Then the c*nt had the most pathetic of excuses and didn't turn up on Tuesday to finish his cross examination of me. I was under oath for more than a month. The beak gave him until 10am to show up... which he didn't... so the case continued ex parte. My solicitor then did the most perfect summing up. Put the words literally in the judge's ears. The chronology of events were neatly presented in a letter to aid his decision. It was so good to see him faintly nodding in agreement with every thing that was listed in the points of claim.

Looks like I'll get a very positive order in my favour. The respondent will have little or no grounds for appeal (since he submitted no evidence!).
As soon as I get the written response from the court I can then go about making this d!ckhead's life very miserable indeed. For the record - I've been fighting this j*rk for 800 days (2 years 2 months 10 days). They don't normally award legal costs for this sort of thing apparently but my lawyer thinks I have a very good chance because of the nature of this crook's criminal and contemptuous behaviour.

You should have got riCk or Superfly (actually, not Superfly) to represent you.

riCk would have had it wrapped up months ago. The bloke would be banged up, paying all your costs and compensation and been forced to let you have a go on his missus every 3rd Wednesday in the month.

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