The Culture Cup Round x - Adam is a naughty naughty boy

First topic message reminder :

rick_dagless wrote:

The Loaded Dog wrote:

rick_dagless wrote:

Tino wrote:Why would they advise not to kill them? Not that anyone listens I guess but why would they advise that?

They keep the mosquito, cockroach, silverfish, etc... numbers in check. They are always open for spider donations from the general public for venom milking purposes.

Good answer. Very well said.

Cheers TLD, I learnt from the best...

I know that, but I just find it odd that there is actually specific advice on the subject.

It must be fact you actually have an arthropod world worth talking about.

Alas poor Ronnie "Julius" Corbett, I knew him well.

ha... yes.

Actually his missus left him for obvious reasons. It would have been good to have ricko or super on the case as you say.

On another note, some bloke got bitten by a snake whilst taking a pisss in the long grass somewhere in Qld.

http://www.brisbanetimes.com.au/queensland/outback-queensland-barman-bitten-by-snake-while-he-urinated-20160331-gnv6qq.html

What was he doing with a tea towel anyway?

The Loaded Dog wrote:ha... yes.

Actually his missus left him for obvious reasons. It would have been good to have ricko or super on the case as you say.

On another note, some bloke got bitten by a snake whilst taking a pisss in the long grass somewhere in Qld.

http://www.brisbanetimes.com.au/queensland/outback-queensland-barman-bitten-by-snake-while-he-urinated-20160331-gnv6qq.html

What a p*sstake

TLD, did you enjoy the hapless lover, hijacking the plane just to see his wife and kids?

ShahenshahG wrote:

The Loaded Dog wrote:ha... yes.

Actually his missus left him for obvious reasons. It would have been good to have ricko or super on the case as you say.

On another note, some bloke got bitten by a snake whilst taking a pisss in the long grass somewhere in Qld.

http://www.brisbanetimes.com.au/queensland/outback-queensland-barman-bitten-by-snake-while-he-urinated-20160331-gnv6qq.html

What a p*sstake

TLD, did you enjoy the hapless lover, hijacking the plane just to see his wife and kids?

Still trying to wrap my head around that one. I'd hate to be extradited back to Egypt. The Cairo Hilton only has half a star on tripadvisor.

ShahenshahG wrote:Alas poor Ronnie "Julius" Corbett, I knew him well.

Sad news. I liked his type of dry humour. Saw him live with the other Ronnie a while back.

Had to stand on my seat though to get a proper glimpse of him.

The Loaded Dog wrote:

ShahenshahG wrote:

The Loaded Dog wrote:ha... yes.

Actually his missus left him for obvious reasons. It would have been good to have ricko or super on the case as you say.

On another note, some bloke got bitten by a snake whilst taking a pisss in the long grass somewhere in Qld.

http://www.brisbanetimes.com.au/queensland/outback-queensland-barman-bitten-by-snake-while-he-urinated-20160331-gnv6qq.html

What a p*sstake

TLD, did you enjoy the hapless lover, hijacking the plane just to see his wife and kids?

Still trying to wrap my head around that one. I'd hate to be extradited back to Egypt. The Cairo Hilton only has half a star on tripadvisor.

He's going to end up in a mental home I hope. He will go down in history as a legend.

The curse of the Two Ronnies strikes again.

Ha... Afternoon supes, Alistair

Minestrone soup, beef salad sandwich, salt and vinegar crisps... 8/10

Did anyone see the results of the un-official twitter world cup of crisps?

rick_dagless wrote:Ha... Afternoon supes, Alistair

Minestrone soup, beef salad sandwich, salt and vinegar crisps... 8/10

Did anyone see the results of the un-official twitter world cup of crisps?

Soup!

Result.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

rick_dagless wrote:Ha... Afternoon supes, Alistair

Minestrone soup, beef salad sandwich, salt and vinegar crisps... 8/10

Did anyone see the results of the un-official twitter world cup of crisps?

Soup!

Result?

Bloating, diarrhea and heartburn

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

rick_dagless wrote:Ha... Afternoon supes, Alistair

Minestrone soup, beef salad sandwich, salt and vinegar crisps... 8/10

Did anyone see the results of the un-official twitter world cup of crisps?

Soup!

Result.

Back of the F***ing net Tino, it was acceptable soup as well...

I was in a cocktail bar the other day that did cocktails with food in it...

rick_dagless wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

rick_dagless wrote:Ha... Afternoon supes, Alistair

Minestrone soup, beef salad sandwich, salt and vinegar crisps... 8/10

Did anyone see the results of the un-official twitter world cup of crisps?

Soup!

Result.

Back of the F***ing net Tino, it was acceptable soup as well...

I was in a cocktail bar the other day that did cocktails with food in it...

Tino. Rowley is the last northerner standing.

ShahenshahG wrote:

rick_dagless wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

rick_dagless wrote:Ha... Afternoon supes, Alistair

Minestrone soup, beef salad sandwich, salt and vinegar crisps... 8/10

Did anyone see the results of the un-official twitter world cup of crisps?

Soup!

Result.

Back of the F***ing net Tino, it was acceptable soup as well...

I was in a cocktail bar the other day that did cocktails with food in it...

Tino. Rowley is the last northerner standing.

It was a leaving do, and for a f**king southerner I might add, the bar was called the Brew Haus so I thought it may be full of delicious beer, but it was a total misnomer. It was balls deep in hipsters and even had a craft fair on inside...

rick_dagless wrote:

ShahenshahG wrote:

rick_dagless wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

rick_dagless wrote:Ha... Afternoon supes, Alistair

Minestrone soup, beef salad sandwich, salt and vinegar crisps... 8/10

Did anyone see the results of the un-official twitter world cup of crisps?

Soup!

Result.

Back of the F***ing net Tino, it was acceptable soup as well...

I was in a cocktail bar the other day that did cocktails with food in it...

Tino. Rowley is the last northerner standing.

It was a leaving do, and for a f**king southerner I might add, the bar was called the Brew Haus so I thought it may be full of delicious beer, but it was a total misnomer.   It was balls deep in hipsters and even had a craft fair on inside...

Ok. You get away with it this time. But be careful else Rowley the sulking man bag ist will be the last representative of the north.

rick_dagless wrote:

ShahenshahG wrote:

rick_dagless wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

rick_dagless wrote:Ha... Afternoon supes, Alistair

Minestrone soup, beef salad sandwich, salt and vinegar crisps... 8/10

Did anyone see the results of the un-official twitter world cup of crisps?

Soup!

Result.

Back of the F***ing net Tino, it was acceptable soup as well...

I was in a cocktail bar the other day that did cocktails with food in it...

Tino. Rowley is the last northerner standing.

It was a leaving do, and for a f**king southerner I might add, the bar was called the Brew Haus so I thought it may be full of delicious beer, but it was a total misnomer.   It was balls deep in hipsters and even had a craft fair on inside...

Don't rise to it, RIck. I've had to put up with Shah calling me southern for months. I think he is trying to cover up his own insecurities at being a Babycham drinking, cord wearing southerner.

And Shah, Jeff has thrown his toys out of the pram in a spectacular tantrum. No self respecting Northerner would do such a thing.

True, there should be no flouncing allowed to be fair

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

rick_dagless wrote:

ShahenshahG wrote:

rick_dagless wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

rick_dagless wrote:Ha... Afternoon supes, Alistair

Minestrone soup, beef salad sandwich, salt and vinegar crisps... 8/10

Did anyone see the results of the un-official twitter world cup of crisps?

Soup!

Result.

Back of the F***ing net Tino, it was acceptable soup as well...

I was in a cocktail bar the other day that did cocktails with food in it...

Tino. Rowley is the last northerner standing.

It was a leaving do, and for a f**king southerner I might add, the bar was called the Brew Haus so I thought it may be full of delicious beer, but it was a total misnomer.   It was balls deep in hipsters and even had a craft fair on inside...

Don't rise to it, RIck.  I've had to put up with Shah calling me southern for months.  I think he is trying to cover up his own insecurities at being a Babycham drinking, cord wearing southerner.

And Shah, Jeff has thrown his toys out of the pram in a spectacular tantrum.  No self respecting Northerner would do such a thing.

I don't drink babycham and I don't wear cords. No self respecting northerner would drive a chrysler or marry a foreigner and he especially wouldn't suck his thumb and cry himself to sleep at night after being sent to bed without his pudding because jr has a sweet tooth.

2 piece chicken and chips with a can of coke. 10/10

God I've missed you.

Pic not working rick. A not so subtle attempt at reinforcing your northern credentials, might have worked had you not successful posted pictures before.

ShahenshahG wrote:Pic not working rick. A not so subtle attempt at reinforcing your northern credentials, might have worked had you not successful posted pictures before.

Rats, foiled again...

rick_dagless wrote:

ShahenshahG wrote:Pic not working rick. A not so subtle attempt at reinforcing your northern credentials, might have worked had you not successful posted pictures before.

Rats, foiled again...

Have you ever done any public service work for free/reduced rate?

ShahenshahG wrote:

rick_dagless wrote:

ShahenshahG wrote:Pic not working rick. A not so subtle attempt at reinforcing your northern credentials, might have worked had you not successful posted pictures before.

Rats, foiled again...

Have you ever done any public service work for free/reduced rate?

Friends and family, once for a local climbing centre who totally ignored my advice and went under, and for a local rugby team. You also tend to do a bit of CAB work during and just after Uni...

Generally though it makes me glad I don't tell people I am a proctologist

rick_dagless wrote:

ShahenshahG wrote:

rick_dagless wrote:

ShahenshahG wrote:Pic not working rick. A not so subtle attempt at reinforcing your northern credentials, might have worked had you not successful posted pictures before.

Rats, foiled again...

Have you ever done any public service work for free/reduced rate?

Friends and family, once for a local climbing centre who totally ignored my advice and went under, and for a local rugby team.  You also tend to do a bit of CAB work during and just after Uni...

Generally though it makes me glad I don't tell people I am a proctologist

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA You fell into my trap.

That means at one point or several points you were Pro Bono...and any fan of that c*nt can never be a northerner

ShahenshahG wrote:

I don't drink babycham and I don't wear cords. No self respecting northerner would drive a chrysler or marry a foreigner and he especially wouldn't suck his thumb and cry himself to sleep at night after being sent to bed without his pudding because jr has a sweet tooth.

I don't just drive a Chrysler. It just works with having too many kids. I do have another car for childless journeys.

But you're right about the foreigner and the sucking the thumb part. No arguments there.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

ShahenshahG wrote:

I don't drink babycham and I don't wear cords. No self respecting northerner would drive a chrysler or marry a foreigner and he especially wouldn't suck his thumb and cry himself to sleep at night after being sent to bed without his pudding because jr has a sweet tooth.

I don't just drive a Chrysler.  It just works with having too many kids.  I do have another car for childless journeys.

But you're right about the foreigner and the sucking the thumb part.  No arguments there.

Don't you start sulking as well sonny, in the interest of the survival of the culture cup. I'll even admit that you are an amalgamation of the best of both north and south.

ShahenshahG wrote:

rick_dagless wrote:

ShahenshahG wrote:

rick_dagless wrote:

ShahenshahG wrote:Pic not working rick. A not so subtle attempt at reinforcing your northern credentials, might have worked had you not successful posted pictures before.

Rats, foiled again...

Have you ever done any public service work for free/reduced rate?

Friends and family, once for a local climbing centre who totally ignored my advice and went under, and for a local rugby team.  You also tend to do a bit of CAB work during and just after Uni...

Generally though it makes me glad I don't tell people I am a proctologist

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA You fell into my trap.

That means at one point or several points you were Pro Bono...and any fan of that c*nt can never be a northerner

L*L out loud

ShahenshahG wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

ShahenshahG wrote:

I don't drink babycham and I don't wear cords. No self respecting northerner would drive a chrysler or marry a foreigner and he especially wouldn't suck his thumb and cry himself to sleep at night after being sent to bed without his pudding because jr has a sweet tooth.

I don't just drive a Chrysler.  It just works with having too many kids.  I do have another car for childless journeys.

But you're right about the foreigner and the sucking the thumb part.  No arguments there.

Don't you start sulking as well sonny, in the interest of the survival of the culture cup. I'll even admit that you are an amalgamation of the best of both north and south.

I think Tino might have offed himself after this well meaning insult.

Well I'm off for the weekend, so if any celebrity dies tomorrow it probably is not me

L8RZ

rick_dagless wrote:Well I'm off for the weekend, so if any celebrity dies tomorrow it probably is not me

L8RZ

LuLz

HaPpY BiRtHdAy RiCk, WiSh YoU a CoCkTaIl FiLlEd WeEkEnD, AlL tHe BeSt.

Aha, I can now kill Rick and no-one will miss him until Monday, by which time I will have pinned it on Sean. Apologies Rick but there will be some rectal disfigurement of your corpse using broom handles and such like for the deception to appear convincing

DAVE667 wrote:Aha, I can now kill Rick and no-one will miss him until Monday, by which time I will have pinned it on Sean. Apologies Rick but there will be some rectal disfigurement of your corpse using broom handles and such like for the deception to appear convincing

Would be easier just to kill Adam.

I don't have a mower. Was hoping to pick up some work with fallen trees but only got one job out of Katie. Nice to finish earlyish today and have a beer on the patio at the cricket club. Simple pleasures. Got a shed to fix this weekend which is a massive bonus.

Was thinking today it is a good job none of us are celebrities. Hell of a cull so far this year.

rick_dagless wrote:

ShahenshahG wrote:

rick_dagless wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

rick_dagless wrote:Ha... Afternoon supes, Alistair

Minestrone soup, beef salad sandwich, salt and vinegar crisps... 8/10

Did anyone see the results of the un-official twitter world cup of crisps?

Soup!

Result.

Back of the F***ing net Tino, it was acceptable soup as well...

I was in a cocktail bar the other day that did cocktails with food in it...

Tino. Rowley is the last northerner standing.

It was a leaving do, and for a f**king southerner I might add, the bar was called the Brew Haus so I thought it may be full of delicious beer, but it was a total misnomer.   It was balls deep in hipsters and even had a craft fair on inside...

I saw a hipster on the tube the other day who other hipsters would regard as a c*nt or perhaps a god.  He was wearing red trousers and a waistcoat, had a straw beard which reached past his throat and was wearing wanky sunglassy things with pink lens.  And his hair was a slicked back crest, like a cockatiel's laying flat.  There were a few more reasons to clump him but I've forgotten them even though I made an itemised list in my mind.  I'm not a violent person but I was close to going SerialDAVE on him.

This is an awful generation fashion wise. Kids self harming goths, adults roaming around looking like mo Ali but ginger

Evening all.

Bloke on master chef has a tw@t moustache.

Evening Jeff.

Evening Sean. Just had a lovely bath. No jazz I'm afraid, massive attack blue lines, absolute classic. Forgot how good it is.

Happy Friday Notches.

Morning Timid Tino and Dismembering Dave.

I walked across an empty land
I knew the pathway like the back of my hand
I felt the earth beneath my feet
Sat by the river and it made me complete

Oh simple thing where have you gone?
I'm getting old and I need something to rely on
So tell me when you're gonna let me in
I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin

I came across a fallen tree
I felt the branches of it looking at me
Is this the place we used to love?
Is this the place that I've been dreaming of?

Oh simple thing where have you gone?
I'm getting old and I need something to rely on
So tell me when you're gonna let me in
I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin

And if you have a minute why don't we go
Talk about it somewhere only we know?
This could be the end of everything
So why don't we go
Somewhere only we know?
Somewhere only we know?

Oh simple thing where have you gone?
I'm getting old and I need something to rely on
So tell me when you're gonna let me in
I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin

And if you have a minute why don't we go
Talk about it somewhere only we know?
This could be the end of everything
So why don't we go?
So why don't we go?

Ah-ah-ah
Ah-ah-ah

This could be the end of everything
So why don't we go
Somewhere only we know?
Somewhere only we know?
Somewhere only we know?

Bit of Keane in the morning. That will make tina's day.

Morning notches.

Morning Rumpelstiltskin Rowley. All good in the hood?

Rowley wrote:Bit of Keane in the morning. That will make tina's day.

Morning notches.

F*ck off, Jeff.

Morning all.

There's no need for that Tina. Morning Shah. All good with me. Got a meeting with a client this morning who got arrested at an airport for not being who his passport claimed. Any tips for sneaking through airport security Shah?

Rowley wrote:There's no need for that Tina. Morning Shah. All good with me. Got a meeting with a client this morning who got arrested at an airport for not being who his passport claimed. Any tips for sneaking through airport security Shah?

Tie a fake suicide vest around the waist.

Stone f*cking dead

Again.

There's only the two of us here today. I don't want to kill the last man standing

Alas poor Denise "Rick" Robertson, I knew him well

Would have thought that was Denise "Rowley" Robertson...

"Denise, my husband is cheating on me with my sister and her best mate and my best mate's 22 year old daughter"

"Have a lie down in a warm bath, listen to soothing music and I'm sure you'll feel better in 20 minutes (adopt sympathetic facial expression)"



"Denise, I lost my legs in an accident a few years ago, as a result, I lost my job, my home, my wife and kids. I'm tormented by suicidal thoughts daily and just want the pain to end."

"Have a lie down in a warm bath, listen to soothing music and I'm sure you'll feel better in 20 minutes (adopt sympathetic facial expression)"


"Denise, I'm filled with murderous rage every time I hear people calling in about their problems only to be given worthless, hollow platitudes and quasi-intelligent advice about healing. I'm currently assembling a cache of weapons that I'm going to use on all tv/radio/newspaper agony aunts if something doesn't change very quickly."

"Have a lie down in a warm bath, listen to soothing music and I'm sure you'll feel better in 20 minutes (adopt sympathetic facial expression)"