The Culture Cup Round x - Adam is a naughty naughty boy

First topic message reminder :

rick_dagless wrote:

The Loaded Dog wrote:

rick_dagless wrote:

Tino wrote:Why would they advise not to kill them? Not that anyone listens I guess but why would they advise that?

They keep the mosquito, cockroach, silverfish, etc... numbers in check. They are always open for spider donations from the general public for venom milking purposes.

Good answer. Very well said.

Cheers TLD, I learnt from the best...

I know that, but I just find it odd that there is actually specific advice on the subject.

It must be fact you actually have an arthropod world worth talking about.

Tuna, olive, mozzarella toastie ...untoasted. was asked 5 times if I'd like it toasted and refrained from saying I'd like it any which way but loose. Prawn cocktail crisps and some weird lemongrass and blood orange combo. 5 out of 10 for taste but 15 out of 10 for cheap healthy stomach fillee. Won't be eating when I get home tonight.

Just to let you guys know the Egyptian Air plane that was hijacked a few hours ago was done by an idiot who wanted to talk to his ex wife. There was no suicide vest. Let me be the first to express my feelings on this matter














hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaah

Yeah I heard this earlier, just some numpty with relationship issues...

It would have been much funnier if a random IS spokesman had taken credit on behalf of the group prior to the Jeremy Kyle dude being unveiled...

rick_dagless wrote:Yeah I heard this earlier, just some numpty with relationship issues...

It would have been much funnier if a random IS spokesman had taken credit on behalf of the group prior to the Jeremy Kyle dude being unveiled...

I would have literally died laughing. Then I would forever be remembered on here as this fool in the absence of any other credible explanation.

What a way to go though mate, must be due a few virgins for popping your clogs literally laughing yourself to death at some extremist cockwomble making the mother of all feckups...

rick_dagless wrote:Yeah I heard this earlier, just some numpty with relationship issues...

It would have been much funnier if a random IS spokesman had taken credit on behalf of the group prior to the Jeremy Kyle dude being unveiled...

Like when Chemical Ali claimed that Baghdad would never be invaded by the US as their tanks rolled by in the background.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

rick_dagless wrote:Yeah I heard this earlier, just some numpty with relationship issues...

It would have been much funnier if a random IS spokesman had taken credit on behalf of the group prior to the Jeremy Kyle dude being unveiled...

Like when Chemical Ali claimed that Baghdad would never be invaded by the US as their tanks rolled by in the background.

It would be right up there to be honest...

Personally I'm gutted, I'm sick to the back teeth of grainy p!ss poor mobile phone footage of stuff exploding (by the way, who are these c*nts buying mobile phones with sh!tty cameras...every time I see ads for phones the cameras are apparently good enough to shoot a Hollywood blockbuster on)

I wanted to see the plane (obviously empty apart from this dippy c*nt in the "suicide vest) blown to smithereens in glorious HD from a multitude of angles.

Fist Notches

Morning Repeater Rick, looks like TLD has finally done the dirty and left us. B*stard.


No, Rowley, no cry;
No, Rowley, no cry;
No, Rowley, no cry;
No, Rowley, no cry.

'Cause - 'cause - 'cause I remember when a we used to sit
In a government yard in Trenchtown,
Oba - obaserving the 'ypocrites - yeah! -
Mingle with the good people we meet, yeah!
Good friends we have, oh, good friends we have lost
Along the way, yeah!
In this great future, you can't forget your past;
So dry your tears, I seh. Yeah!

No, Rowley, no cry;
No, Rowley, no cry. Eh, yeah!
A little darlin', don't shed no tears:
No, Rowley, no cry. Eh!

Said - said - said I remember when we used to sit
In the government yard in Trenchtown, yeah!
And then Georgie would make the fire lights,
I seh, logwood burnin' through the nights, yeah!
Then we would cook cornmeal porridge, say,
Of which I'll share with you, yeah!
My feet is my only carriage
And so I've got to push on through.
Oh, while I'm gone,
Everything's gonna be all right!
Everything's gonna be all right!
Everything's gonna be all right, yeah!
Everything's gonna be all right!
Everything's gonna be all right-a!
Everything's gonna be all right!
Everything's gonna be all right, yeah!
Everything's gonna be all right!

So no, Rowley, no cry;
No, Rowley, no cry.
I seh, O little - O little darlin', don't shed no tears;
No, Rowley, no cry, eh.

No, Rowley - no, Rowley - no, Rowley, no cry;
No, Rowley, no cry.
One more time I got to say:
O little - little darlin', please don't shed no tears;
No, Rowley, no cry.

Morning notches.

Morning all.

Morning Jeff and Tino, all good in le hoods?

ShahenshahG wrote:Morning Jeff and Tino, all good in le hoods?

Wonderful, Shah. Wonderful.

You?

Pretty shattered but otherwise grand. Regretting my gym resolution for the year though. I feel like you after Jr's first tantrum.

Hectic on here today, morning gents

rick_dagless wrote:Hectic on here today, morning gents

Morning riCk.

You've rescued the thread from ANOTHER Shahing.

Here to help with my one team attitude Tino, don't want to rock the boat with negative vibez...

rick_dagless wrote:Here to help with my one team attitude Tino, don't want to rock the boat with negative vibez...

He's gone as well. Came on here, destroyed the thread and then ran.

Almost like a suicide bomber. Without the running away part.

Or a man trying to speak with his ex wife...

How you doing Tino dear boy?

rick_dagless wrote:Or a man trying to speak with his ex wife...

How you doing Tino dear boy?

Not so bad. Markets causing me some headaches, but you can thank Yellen for that.

Other than her pontificating, I'm grand.

You? Are you dangerously southern today or back in the northern stronghold?

In the mighty north today mate, though doing some really tedious work of analysing some really lengthy stuff before I can do the fun shouty bits, so generally I am just annoying anyone in earshot by basically being a bored toddler, I should in theory be more adult than this but hey ho.

Might have chips with peas and gravy for dinner though, which is the meal between breakfast and tea as everyone knows...

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

rick_dagless wrote:Here to help with my one team attitude Tino, don't want to rock the boat with negative vibez...

He's gone as well.  Came on here, destroyed the thread and then ran.

Almost like a suicide bomber.  Without the running away part.

feck you, you c*nt. I was getting some pastries and settling in for the long haul when rick turned up. Luckily my ode to Rowley's dignity need not be published. Morning Rick, what kept you? I was frantically searching the news for dead lawyers at 8:20 this morning.

ShahenshahG wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

rick_dagless wrote:Here to help with my one team attitude Tino, don't want to rock the boat with negative vibez...

He's gone as well.  Came on here, destroyed the thread and then ran.

Almost like a suicide bomber.  Without the running away part.

feck you, you c*nt. I was getting some pastries and settling in for the long haul when rick turned up. Luckily my ode to Rowley's dignity need not be published. Morning Rick, what kept you? I was frantically searching the news for dead lawyers at 8:20 this morning.

It appears that Superfly is a dead lawyer.

Morning Shah, they say every time a lawyer dies and angel gets it's wings...

Meetings all morning alas, but at least we have the merry gang back together now.

How are the pastries...

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

ShahenshahG wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

rick_dagless wrote:Here to help with my one team attitude Tino, don't want to rock the boat with negative vibez...

He's gone as well.  Came on here, destroyed the thread and then ran.

Almost like a suicide bomber.  Without the running away part.

feck you, you c*nt. I was getting some pastries and settling in for the long haul when rick turned up. Luckily my ode to Rowley's dignity need not be published. Morning Rick, what kept you? I was frantically searching the news for dead lawyers at 8:20 this morning.

It appears that Superfly is a dead lawyer.

He had a cracking innings for a Scotsman to be fair

Just for you Tino, for some unknown reason some guy send round some facts every week here, most are mundane/obvious but today he sent over these Ant facts...

There are more than 12,000 species of ants all over the world.
Ants don’t have ears. Ants "hear" by feeling vibrations in the ground through their feet.
When foraging, ants leave a pheromone trail so that they know where they’ve been.
Queen ants have wings, which they shed when they start a new nest.
Ants don’t have lungs. Oxygen enters through tiny holes all over the body and carbon dioxide leaves through the same holes.
In certain ant species, the soldier ants have modified heads, shaped to match the nest entrance. They block access to the nest by sitting just inside the entrance, with their heads facing out like a cork in a bottle.

The total biomass of all the ants on Earth is roughly equal to the total biomass of all the people on Earth.

Ants sometimes herd or tend to insects of other species, like aphids or leafhoppers.
Ants will do just about anything to get the sugary secretions of sap-sucking insects, called honeydew. To keep the sweet stuff in close supply, some ants will herd aphids, carrying the soft-bodied pests from plant to plant. Leafhoppers sometimes take advantage of this nurturing tendency in ants, and leave their young to be raised by the ants. This allows the leafhoppers to go raise another brood.

Ants will enslave other ants, keeping them captive and making them do work for the colony.
Quite a few ant species will take captives from other ant species, forcing them to do chores for their own colony. Some honeypot ants will even enslave ants of the same species, taking individuals from foreign colonies to do their bidding. Polyergus queens, also known as Amazon ants, raid the colonies of unsuspecting Formica ants. The Amazon queen will find and kill the Formica queen, then enslave the Formica workers. The slave workers help her rear her own brood. When her Polyergus offspring reach adulthood, their sole purpose is to raid other Formica colonies and bring back their pupae, ensuring a steady supply of slave workers.

Ants lived alongside the dinosaurs.
Ants evolved some 130 million years ago during the early Cretaceous period. Most fossil evidence of insects is found in lumps of ancient amber, or fossilized plant resin. The oldest known ant fossil, a primitive and now extinct ant species named Sphercomyrma freyi, was found in Cliffwood Beach, NJ. Though that fossil only dates back 92 million years, another fossil ant that proved nearly as old has a clear lineage to ants of present day. This suggests a much longer evolutionary line than previously thought, leading scientists to estimate the appearance of ants on Earth as somewhere around 130 million years ago.

Ants started farming long before humans.
Fungus farming ants began their agricultural ventures about 50 million years before humans thought to raise their own crops. The earliest evidence suggests ants began farming as early as 70 million years ago, in the early Tertiary period. Even more amazing, these ants used sophisticated horticultural techniques to enhance their crop yields. They secreted chemicals with antibiotic properties to inhibit mold growth, and devised fertilization protocols using manure.

Some ants form "supercolonies," massive communities of ants that can stretch for thousands of miles.
Argentine ants, native to South America, now inhabit every continent except Antarctica due to accidental introductions. Each ant colony has a distinctive chemical profile that enables members of the group to recognize each other, and alerts the colony to the presence of strangers. Scientists recently discovered that massive supercolonies in Europe, North America, and Japan all share the same chemical profile, meaning they are, in essence, a global supercolony of ants.

Ants follow scent trails laid by scout ants to gather food.
By following pheromone trails created by other ants from the colony, foraging ants can gather and store food efficiently. A scout ant first leaves the nest in search of food, and wanders somewhat randomly until it discovers something edible. It will then consume some of the food and return to the nest in a straight, direct line. It seems these scout ants can observe and recall visual cues that enable them to navigate quickly back to the nest. Along the return route, the scout ant leaves a trail of pheromones, special scents that will guide her nestmates to the food. The foraging ants then follow her path, each one adding more scent to the trail to reinforce it for others. The workers will continue walking back and forth along the line until the food source is depleted.

Fire ants defend their nests aggressively, and will swarm any organism they perceive as a threat. The bites and stings of fire ants are said to feel like you're being set on fire – thus the nickname. People with bee and wasp venom allergies may also be allergic to fire ant stings. Fire ants from South America that cause the most problems. Fire ants build mounds, usually in open, sunny places, so parks, farms, and golf courses are particularly vulnerable to fire ant infestations.

That is bloody great stuff. Thanks.

I love the stuff about enslaving other ants.

Watch this when you get home. You need the sound. Have to watch it right to the end to see a big, strong, fully grown man weep like a baby after multiple bullet ant stings.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VarqiOM4-Fg

rick_dagless wrote:Just for you Tino, for some unknown reason some guy send round some facts every week here, most are mundane/obvious but today he sent over these Ant facts...

There are more than 12,000 species of ants all over the world.
Ants don’t have ears. Ants "hear" by feeling vibrations in the ground through their feet.
When foraging, ants leave a pheromone trail so that they know where they’ve been.
Queen ants have wings, which they shed when they start a new nest.
Ants don’t have lungs. Oxygen enters through tiny holes all over the body and carbon dioxide leaves through the same holes.
In certain ant species, the soldier ants have modified heads, shaped to match the nest entrance. They block access to the nest by sitting just inside the entrance, with their heads facing out like a cork in a bottle.

The total biomass of all the ants on Earth is roughly equal to the total biomass of all the people on Earth.

Ants sometimes herd or tend to insects of other species, like aphids or leafhoppers.
Ants will do just about anything to get the sugary secretions of sap-sucking insects, called honeydew. To keep the sweet stuff in close supply, some ants will herd aphids, carrying the soft-bodied pests from plant to plant. Leafhoppers sometimes take advantage of this nurturing tendency in ants, and leave their young to be raised by the ants. This allows the leafhoppers to go raise another brood.

Ants will enslave other ants, keeping them captive and making them do work for the colony.
Quite a few ant species will take captives from other ant species, forcing them to do chores for their own colony. Some honeypot ants will even enslave ants of the same species, taking individuals from foreign colonies to do their bidding. Polyergus queens, also known as Amazon ants, raid the colonies of unsuspecting Formica ants. The Amazon queen will find and kill the Formica queen, then enslave the Formica workers. The slave workers help her rear her own brood. When her Polyergus offspring reach adulthood, their sole purpose is to raid other Formica colonies and bring back their pupae, ensuring a steady supply of slave workers.

Ants lived alongside the dinosaurs.
Ants evolved some 130 million years ago during the early Cretaceous period. Most fossil evidence of insects is found in lumps of ancient amber, or fossilized plant resin. The oldest known ant fossil, a primitive and now extinct ant species named Sphercomyrma freyi, was found in Cliffwood Beach, NJ. Though that fossil only dates back 92 million years, another fossil ant that proved nearly as old has a clear lineage to ants of present day. This suggests a much longer evolutionary line than previously thought, leading scientists to estimate the appearance of ants on Earth as somewhere around 130 million years ago.

Ants started farming long before humans.
Fungus farming ants began their agricultural ventures about 50 million years before humans thought to raise their own crops. The earliest evidence suggests ants began farming as early as 70 million years ago, in the early Tertiary period. Even more amazing, these ants used sophisticated horticultural techniques to enhance their crop yields. They secreted chemicals with antibiotic properties to inhibit mold growth, and devised fertilization protocols using manure.

Some ants form "supercolonies," massive communities of ants that can stretch for thousands of miles.
Argentine ants, native to South America, now inhabit every continent except Antarctica due to accidental introductions. Each ant colony has a distinctive chemical profile that enables members of the group to recognize each other, and alerts the colony to the presence of strangers. Scientists recently discovered that massive supercolonies in Europe, North America, and Japan all share the same chemical profile, meaning they are, in essence, a global supercolony of ants.

Ants follow scent trails laid by scout ants to gather food.
By following pheromone trails created by other ants from the colony, foraging ants can gather and store food efficiently. A scout ant first leaves the nest in search of food, and wanders somewhat randomly until it discovers something edible. It will then consume some of the food and return to the nest in a straight, direct line. It seems these scout ants can observe and recall visual cues that enable them to navigate quickly back to the nest. Along the return route, the scout ant leaves a trail of pheromones, special scents that will guide her nestmates to the food. The foraging ants then follow her path, each one adding more scent to the trail to reinforce it for others. The workers will continue walking back and forth along the line until the food source is depleted.

Fire ants defend their nests aggressively, and will swarm any organism they perceive as a threat. The bites and stings of fire ants are said to feel like you're being set on fire – thus the nickname. People with bee and wasp venom allergies may also be allergic to fire ant stings. Fire ants from South America that cause the most problems. Fire ants build mounds, usually in open, sunny places, so parks, farms, and golf courses are particularly vulnerable to fire ant infestations.

Tino has just drowned in his own sp*nk

All about the one team today boys... (can you tell we have had a company strategy meeting)

Need to be more stakeholder centric and customer focussed...

I will have a gander at that video later mate

rick_dagless wrote:Morning Shah, they say every time a lawyer dies and angel gets it's wings...

Meetings all morning alas, but at least we have the merry gang back together now.

How are the pastries...

..he picks up the lawyer and flies him straight to hell?

Pastries are lovely but cold sadly. Too late in the day for them to still be warm. I'm looking forward to the Cheese flan meal they will be serving at lunch.

No soup in this office, I mean seriously, what kind of modern day office has no soup... C**ts

rick_dagless wrote:No soup in this office, I mean seriously, what kind of modern day office has no soup... C**ts

The Derby office is soupless as well?

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

rick_dagless wrote:No soup in this office, I mean seriously, what kind of modern day office has no soup... C**ts

The Derby office is soupless as well?

They learnt the error of their ways with my idea of leaving roadkill in the suggestion box.

Whats good for the goose is good for the gander. You know what to do rick.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

rick_dagless wrote:No soup in this office, I mean seriously, what kind of modern day office has no soup... C**ts

The Derby office is soupless as well?

It really is... What the hell is wrong with these people...

Shah wrote:They learnt the error of their ways with my idea of leaving roadkill in the suggestion box.

Whats good for the goose is good for the gander. You know what to do rick.

I am going to have to take drastic action, maybe those bullet ant chaps let loose in the canteen, that will send a message

rick_dagless wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

rick_dagless wrote:No soup in this office, I mean seriously, what kind of modern day office has no soup... C**ts

The Derby office is soupless as well?

It really is... What the hell is wrong with these people...

Shah wrote:They learnt the error of their ways with my idea of leaving roadkill in the suggestion box.

Whats good for the goose is good for the gander. You know what to do rick.

I am going to have to take drastic action, maybe those bullet ant chaps let loose in the canteen, that will send a message

Don't announce it here before you do it, else you'll have Tino swinging from the light fittings, furiously masturbating to requiem for a dream. With it, you'll have even less chance of soup.

Shah wrote:Don't announce it here before you do it, else you'll have Tino swinging from the light fittings, furiously masturbating to requiem for a dream. With it, you'll have even less chance of soup

He is the only man I know who may know someone, who knows someone, who can access said ants...

rick_dagless wrote:

Shah wrote:Don't announce it here before you do it, else you'll have Tino swinging from the light fittings, furiously masturbating to requiem for a dream. With it, you'll have even less chance of soup

He is the only man I know who may know someone, who knows someone, who can access said ants...

We could send Galted to Argentina and ask to bring back a hi tec full of ants. He'll be so thrilled that we acknowledged the the worthiness of his shoe that he won't even notice the stings.

ShahenshahG wrote:

rick_dagless wrote:

Shah wrote:Don't announce it here before you do it, else you'll have Tino swinging from the light fittings, furiously masturbating to requiem for a dream. With it, you'll have even less chance of soup

He is the only man I know who may know someone, who knows someone, who can access said ants...

We could send Galted to Argentina and ask to bring back a hi tec full of ants. He'll be so thrilled that we acknowledged the the worthiness of his shoe that he won't even notice the stings.

Or ask Adam, he would be so grateful that we recognised his existence, that he may do it anyway?

rick_dagless wrote:

ShahenshahG wrote:

rick_dagless wrote:

Shah wrote:Don't announce it here before you do it, else you'll have Tino swinging from the light fittings, furiously masturbating to requiem for a dream. With it, you'll have even less chance of soup

He is the only man I know who may know someone, who knows someone, who can access said ants...

We could send Galted to Argentina and ask to bring back a hi tec full of ants. He'll be so thrilled that we acknowledged the the worthiness of his shoe that he won't even notice the stings.

Or ask Adam, he would be so grateful that we recognised his existence, that he may do it anyway?

I think he would be adamant that he be the one

Nice work mate...

rick_dagless wrote:

Shah wrote:Don't announce it here before you do it, else you'll have Tino swinging from the light fittings, furiously masturbating to requiem for a dream. With it, you'll have even less chance of soup

He is the only man I know who may know someone, who knows someone, who can access said ants...

I can lend you our tarantula for the day. You can quietly walk up to the chef with her in your hand and politely inquire as to when soup will be on the menu.

Thank you, I was due one. It's nice to have someone to work with rather than carrying the slack for that work shy benefit scrounger Tino.

ShahenshahG wrote:Thank you, I was due one. It's nice to have someone to work with rather than carrying the slack for that work shy benefit scrounger Tino.

F*ck off TopHat.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

rick_dagless wrote:

Shah wrote:Don't announce it here before you do it, else you'll have Tino swinging from the light fittings, furiously masturbating to requiem for a dream. With it, you'll have even less chance of soup

He is the only man I know who may know someone, who knows someone, who can access said ants...

I can lend you our tarantula for the day.  You can quietly walk up to the chef with her in your hand and politely inquire as to when soup will be on the menu.

I suspect Rick being a normal person would make soup in his pants at having to hold a tarantula in his hand thus negating any reason for bothering the chef.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

ShahenshahG wrote:Thank you, I was due one. It's nice to have someone to work with rather than carrying the slack for that work shy benefit scrounger Tino.

F*ck off TopHat.

F*ck off Asshat

ShahenshahG wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

rick_dagless wrote:

Shah wrote:Don't announce it here before you do it, else you'll have Tino swinging from the light fittings, furiously masturbating to requiem for a dream. With it, you'll have even less chance of soup

He is the only man I know who may know someone, who knows someone, who can access said ants...

I can lend you our tarantula for the day.  You can quietly walk up to the chef with her in your hand and politely inquire as to when soup will be on the menu.

I suspect Rick being a normal person would make soup in his pants at having to hold a tarantula in his hand thus negating any reason for bothering the chef.

riCk is a man of the north. He would wear a hornets nest on his head if they would sit still long enough.

Now calm down lads, TopHat is currently busy on the light hearted and jokey gear grinding thread, turning it into a downbeat conversation about noncery...

So pop over there if you want to throw insults around..

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

ShahenshahG wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

rick_dagless wrote:

Shah wrote:Don't announce it here before you do it, else you'll have Tino swinging from the light fittings, furiously masturbating to requiem for a dream. With it, you'll have even less chance of soup

He is the only man I know who may know someone, who knows someone, who can access said ants...

I can lend you our tarantula for the day.  You can quietly walk up to the chef with her in your hand and politely inquire as to when soup will be on the menu.

I suspect Rick being a normal person would make soup in his pants at having to hold a tarantula in his hand thus negating any reason for bothering the chef.

riCk is a man of the north.  He would wear a hornets nest on his head if they would sit still long enough.

Only because being a man of the north he thinks hornets are a kind of aphrodisiac. If he knew they were fat foreign bees, he'd steer well clear of em.

Just for the record, I am not afraid of tarantulas...

rick_dagless wrote:Now calm down lads, TopHat is currently busy on the light hearted and jokey gear grinding thread, turning it into a downbeat conversation about noncery...

So pop over there if you want to throw insults around..

Can you feel the love tonight?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z53-KrhOveE

A peace offering Tino.