The Culture Cup Round x - Adam is a naughty naughty boy

First topic message reminder :

Hugh Jackman is a sunglasses indoors wearing obnoxious cockwomble.

RIP Howard Julius Marks.

Rowley this daily thing isn't an excuse for you to put up sh*t music. That's three sh*t tracks in a row from you

I can't legislate for you having no taste Shah. Also, if you think today's is bad wait till tomorrow.

rick_dagless wrote:Morning Shah good weekend?

Sick

All good my friend was just about to send out a search party for you but realised in time that I was so horrified with Jeff's taste that I overlooked your post. Learning to play scales again as the technique I learned first up is pretty inefficient and doesnt lend itself to smooth pianism. Other than that was gifted four colognes by accident by my colleague's wife, who gave my present to her husband (a vase) . I would have returned them but my colleague has resorted to bitching and sniping, and doing petty things like leaving the heating off, switching the water machine off and leaving the general area in a mess. So I am now the proud owner of 4 100/150 ml Davidoff colognes collection which all smell fecking nice. Davidoff adventure today, it smells like fresh woodland and spice and judging by the look my unfortunate colleague is giving me periodically, it's having the effect I intended.

Rowley wrote:I can't legislate for you having no taste Shah. Also, if you think today's is bad wait till tomorrow.

I assure you, you need to try to have a sh*t taste in music, just put up whatever you like to listen to.

Happy mistake indeed mate, but don't get drawn into his pettiness, it is beneath you... Just murder all his family, and his families friends, and their pets, and do it smelling nice.

Morning Jeff

Sorry mate, forgot to ask how was your weekend? The Racing cost you a packet?

Morning all - nice to see Jeff post a 1980s pseudo-goth post-punk classic. Radox nowhere in sight.

Morning all.

Locusts can eat their own weight in food in a day. A person eats his own body weight in about half a year.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:Morning all.

Locusts can eat their own weight in food in a day. A person eats his own body weight in about half a year.

Morning Tino, excellent fact about Tophat's tea break and Julius stop encouraging the eejit.

ShahenshahG wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:Morning all.

Locusts can eat their own weight in food in a day. A person eats his own body weight in about half a year.

Morning Tino, excellent fact about Tophat's tea break and Julius stop encouraging the eejit.

You didn't like 'Shah Sells Sanctuary'?

JuliusHMarx wrote:

ShahenshahG wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:Morning all.

Locusts can eat their own weight in food in a day. A person eats his own body weight in about half a year.

Morning Tino, excellent fact about Tophat's tea break and Julius stop encouraging the eejit.

You didn't like 'Shah Sells Sanctuary'?

It's supposed to be a secret.

Michaelsed

Morning.

Great fact, Tino. Been looking forward to that.

Lost a little bit on the National. What annoys me is the amount of 'Tipster' pages that have appeared on the interweb and claim to be brilliant. One bloke claimed to have tipped the winner weeks ago; was quite funny watching his response when some questioned his credentials over tipping a horse that had never won over hurdles in 13 attempts.

I had two quid each way on the winner, got 80 odd quid back. Pure dumb luck on my part. Caught sky sports news Saturday morning and somebody tipped it on there.

What price did you get? 33/1? It was 66/1 at one point.

Took the starting price like an idiot. Would have been 50/1 had I not. Don't really gamble so make such schoolboy errors.

A rookie mistake indeed, Rowley.

Still, a win is a win. I lumped a last minute bet on Goonyella which got me a few quid back but ended up shoving that on something else which lost.

My £10 on Red Rum was a waste of money.

Thanks Alistair.  Some more great bug related facts to follow.

I lost on both my sweepstake horses but I did get some sex with Mrs Windows this weekend so it wasn't a disaster.

Funny article....

http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/arts-entertainment/queen-fan-suddenly-realises-they-were-Love sacks-20160411107905

Morning notches. Spent a whole £20 on four EW bets for the family on the National (last of the big spenders). I backed Last Samuri (even thought it grated on me that they couldn't spell Samurai correctly). Got a tenner back, bunged it on AJ winning in 7-8....f*cking c*nts (that's both AJ and Martin for not having the decency to be tentative for a few rounds). Anyway, Utd lost, Liverpool won...happy days (although wife went to be early citing "illness" ie she must have been as sick as a parrot after watching that b*llocks)

Juts realised in that Link the swear filter has change B*ll*cks

Just sent a reply to a text where it changed the recipient's name in my message from Phuong (correct) to Phuket. Should have stuck with his more familiar nickname; Paul.

Morning all

Morning, TLD!

G'day Alistair!

Was looking at some photos of the GN.
Did many horses tumble? Some quite spectacular photos... one horse looked really scared. Hope it was OK.

Good morning all...

TLD wrote:Just sent a reply to a text where it changed the recipient's name in my message from Phuong (correct) to Phuket. Should have stuck with his more familiar nickname; Paul.

He doesn't work on a technical help line does he? Nearly everyone on those things are called Paul or Dave....

The Loaded Dog wrote:G'day Alistair!

Was looking at some photos of the GN.
Did many horses tumble? Some quite spectacular photos... one horse looked really scared. Hope it was OK.

Out of 39 starters, only 16 finished. Many were pulled up or fell, but no fatalities. It was a bit of a nightmare for the runners as the loose horses did end up getting in the way going round the course.

rick_dagless wrote:Good morning all...

TLD wrote:Just sent a reply to a text where it changed the recipient's name in my message from Phuong (correct) to Phuket. Should have stuck with his more familiar nickname; Paul.

He doesn't work on a technical help line does he?  Nearly everyone on those things are called Paul or Dave....

No, he is the air conditioning bloke. Very proficient the Vietnamese here - compared to some other cultures that offer their 'services'.
Understood exactly what was required and provided a very reasonable quote. The other two just didn't quite get it... they wanted to plaster my outside walls with trunking and locate the units on racks or on the ground. Bloody awful. They are going up on the roof (behind the parapet) which will make the runs a lot shorter and drainage a cinch... straight into the box gutter, down the downpipe and out into the mains. Easy access for service too if required.

Alistair wrote:

The Loaded Dog wrote:G'day Alistair!

Was looking at some photos of the GN.
Did many horses tumble? Some quite spectacular photos... one horse looked really scared. Hope it was OK.

Out of 39 starters, only 16 finished. Many were pulled up or fell, but no fatalities. It was a bit of a nightmare for the runners as the loose horses did end up getting in the way going round the course.

Quite funny watching the loose horses clearing the jumps without their riders and causing a bit of mayhem.

Jules will attest to the hilarious finale in the Marx Bros film At The Races. They alter the course and try to put off the favourite by playing the owner's voice through the PA system... which scares the horse. They do this a couple of times and it almost works. You have to see the film.

Sort of reminds me of this in an obscure way. I thought it was hysterically funny at the time, especially at around 1:43

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LvIu8XxUKIw

I always like to see the loose horses jumping the fences at the National as I used to work with a woman who loved horses but said it was cruel to make them jump those big fences. I said she should be quiet, that the horses loved it so much they had to have jockeys to curb their natural enthusiasm for it and prevent them from getting hurt.

It used to wind her up no end and there are few things in life better than watching a pretty but stuck up cow losing her rag

Pea and ham soup, beef salad sandwich, Seabrooks Salt and Vinegar crisps... 8/10

rick_dagless wrote:Pea and ham soup, beef salad sandwich, Seabrooks Salt and Vinegar crisps... 8/10

Probably my favourite soup.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

rick_dagless wrote:Pea and ham soup, beef salad sandwich, Seabrooks Salt and Vinegar crisps... 8/10

Probably my favourite soup.

It's just mushy peas with a bit of ham scrag sprinkled on...it's a f*cking con Tina, don't do it!

I was thinking of you guys yesterday not in a lets kill the infidels sort of way. Got a 50 percent off voucher from Robert Dyas so went on to see what they sold. Thought of galted first then thought of Tino building his shack when there were some relevant items and thought of dave when they showed a massive knife collection. Just as I was about to purchase some diy kit there was an option to purchase a soup maker and knew I had to let rick know about this southern magic thing.

Tino wrote:
Probably my favourite soup.

One of mine, and an absolute piece of p155 to make...

We have soup makers up North Shah, but we just use a pan...

rick_dagless wrote:

Tino wrote:
Probably my favourite soup.

One of mine, and an absolute piece of p155 to make...

We have soup makers up North Shah, but we just use a pan...

I thought you used the sink for that

ShahenshahG wrote:

rick_dagless wrote:

Tino wrote:
Probably my favourite soup.

One of mine, and an absolute piece of p155 to make...

We have soup makers up North Shah, but we just use a pan...

I thought you used the sink for that

You are mixing up soup with urine mate, which, to be honest, is a bit of a worry. If I was in your harem, I wouldn't eat anything you have prepared by the sounds of it.

rick_dagless wrote:

Tino wrote:
Probably my favourite soup.

One of mine, and an absolute piece of p155 to make...

We have soup makers up North Shah, but we just use a pan...

Or a pot. Everything is cooked in a pot.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

rick_dagless wrote:

Tino wrote:
Probably my favourite soup.

One of mine, and an absolute piece of p155 to make...

We have soup makers up North Shah, but we just use a pan...

Or a pot.  Everything is cooked in a pot.

Yup, I have a small pot and a big pot, depending on what I am cooking...

Some people don't have a pot to p*ss in.

Alistair wrote:Some people don't have a pot to p*ss in.

That phrase comes from when people used to sell pots of urine to Tanners for a pittance...

rick_dagless wrote:

Alistair wrote:Some people don't have a pot to p*ss in.

That phrase comes from when people used to sell pots of urine to Tanners for a pittance...

Surely it should be "for a pi$$ance"?

BTW tremendous non-insect related factoid there Rick

Dolphin Ziggler wrote:Tonight I rewatched Boy in the Striped Pyjamas. Worst decision ive made in a long time

That's pretty much what I thought of that pile of bum-ooze.

I have never seen it.

Rowley wrote:I have never seen it.

I bow to your superior film-snobbishness.

It's the way forward Galted, what you need to do is refuse to watch anything vaguely well regarded like that, then you can be snippy and superior. After a while of doing this you can start watching Jason Statham films and the like and people will assume you're doing it in some ghastly ironic post modern way. It's a win-win.

Today I am up so early I can do the fist post of the day.

Afraid it's not a very good post.

Now I have to go to work.

Seec*nt, hi Galted.

Morning Reaper Rick and Toiletry TLD

I'm smelling of Davidoff Hot water today. Colleague is staring at me again and muttering to himself. P**fter.

You shake my nerves and you rattle my brain
Too much love drives a man insane
You broke my will, oh what a thrill
Goodness gracious great balls of fire

I learned to love all of Hollywood money
You came along and you moved me honey
I changed my mind, looking fine
Goodness gracious great balls of fire

You kissed me baby, woo, it feels good
Hold me baby, I wanna love you like a lover should
You're fine, so kind I'm gonna tell this world that your mine mine mine mine

I chew my nails and I twiddle my thumbs
I'm really nervous but it sure is fun
Come on baby, you drive me crazy
Goodness gracious great balls of fire

Well kiss me baby, woo-oooooo, it feels good,
Hold me baby
I want to love you like a lover should
You're fine, so kind
I gonna this world that your mine mine mine mine

I chew my nails and I twiddle my thumbs
I'm real nervous but it sure is fun
Come on baby, you drive me crazy
Goodness gracious great balls of fire

https://youtu.be/Q1mCYgjhnGg

Morning notches.