The Culture Cup Round x - Adam is a naughty naughty boy

First topic message reminder :

Great idea, Rick. Like windscreen wipers on a duck's butt.

Alistair wrote:

ShahenshahG wrote:

Alistair wrote:

Adam D wrote:I will go for a deer.

You want to have animal sex with Bambi?

This is why people ignore you. There's a line, Adam.

It's the only way he can claim to have shagged something so hard it had troubling getting to it's feet afterwards

He could just let the air out of his inflatable.

But then Rowley "the romping rubber" wouldn't be able to type on here and that would be a great loss.

Maybe we only have room for one?

Alistair wrote:Maybe we only have room for one?

You forgot to factor in Sean's bumhole. In fact, once that's taken into account, we've got so much room that we could paint Sean blue and christen him "The Retardis"

Bag of chips on the roof?

Alistair wrote:Bag of chips on the roof?

Donuts surely, first because donuts near a police box don't look suspicious and second because they could give a ring one to Sean and he could pretend he's an active participant rather than a receptacle for initiations into the Freemasons.

I'd f*ck a dolphin to see if my jizz shot out it's blowhole.  Wouldn't matter if it were male or female.

Galted wrote:I'd f*ck a dolphin to see if my jizz shot out it's blowhole.  Wouldn't matter if it were male or female.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x7RkJFFieqM

ShahenshahG wrote:

Galted wrote:I'd f*ck a dolphin to see if my jizz shot out it's blowhole.  Wouldn't matter if it were male or female.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x7RkJFFieqM

Hmm. Maybe I'd f*ck something else instead. A giant clam might be a reasonable replacement for a bearded clam.

Adam D wrote:I will go for a deer.

You'd do a deer? A female deer?

I'd have a go with a chicken to see which came first...........

https://youtu.be/KdELzBV9pyo

Morning.

Buenos Notches

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h2Ngh0Q6I4U

Not bad Rowley, but better to listen when mash up. Are you well? Bathing in the post coital glow?

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/food/article-3573009/Baffled-diners-share-hilarious-photos-restaurant-meals-served-bricks-shopping-trolleys-PIPES.html

Just for you, RICk.

C*nts...They must be realising this S**t doesn't work now...

Morning Shah

Morning Rick, did this sh*t happen up north? I can't remember the last time I ate out of a plate rather than the packaging the hot food usually comes with. I've been craving a whole Peri Peri chicken all night so will try to pick one up for lunch. Lemon and herb flavour and coat it in a deep red chilli sauce mixed with heinz ketchup. With a side order of mushy peas, sweetcorn, carrots and roast potatoes. Then a cornflake tart with double custard and an ice fecking cold coke, and all for 9 quid, hahahah you southern b*stard tino. F*ck you and your f*cking costa

Sorry, I get irritated and animated when i'm hungry.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6-kE-HMxxOg

Morning...f*cking c*nting snobby hipster food b*stards

Death to the f*cking lot of 'em...w8nkers!

Morning Rick/Shah

Morning Serial Dave, Thanks for the save. All good in the hood or are you gonna get bummed by Scargill and co?

I'm indifferent to any and all goings on after I learned that today we are having "Pray for the Police" day. Instead of actively investigating crimes it appears that we will be bowing our heads and asking the Almighty (pick one, they're all equally useless and completely made up) to help find the person who r*ped Grandma!

I'm not Hugh Bonneville, who whilst still very much alive, will probably wish he was dead

Dead on here today

It indeed, I have been locked in a room talking b011ocks most of the morning but kind of comes with the turf to be honest.

Have we had an insect fact yet/

There are more than 380,000 species of beetle, making up 40 per cent of all insect species.

JuliusHMarx wrote:There are more than 380,000 species of beetle, making up 40 per cent of all insect species.

How many of the beetles have AIDS?

Alistair wrote:

JuliusHMarx wrote:There are more than 380,000 species of beetle, making up 40 per cent of all insect species.

How many of the beetles have AIDS?

Well stepped into the breach Jules...

I think Ringo looks a bit gaunt 'stair...

Morning Rick, he does, and he doesn't narrate Thomas The Tank Engine any more, the two must be related.

Morning mate...

And all those trains going into tunnels has to represent something? Right?

rick_dagless wrote:Morning mate...

And all those trains going into tunnels has to represent something?  Right?

Alistair is frantically throwing away his childhood nd every train collection set. Well done Rick. Did you get him to sign our disclaimer before you did that?

Afternoon all. Hope the quiet day on here is because we are all hooked on the white knuckle thrill ride that is the police and crime commissioner elections.

Rowley wrote:Afternoon all. Hope the quiet day on here is because we are all hooked on the white knuckle thrill ride that is the police and crime commissioner elections.

My hooks are indeed tentered.

Scottish parliament elections today - here's my choices:

SNP - a cult for brain dead bigots and a poor performance in government.

Labour - daft tw@ts who don't know what they stand for in Scotland. A vote for them could be seen as a endorsement of bungle merchant Corbyn and his student politics

Conservative - their leader actually talks some sense and has put up a decent opposition to the SNP. Still, it's the f*cking Tories!

Liberal Democrats - next!

Greens - f*ck off. Happy to endorse SNP's plans for an oil based independent economy in order to gain independence. Yeah, like a country that requires a high oil price was going to invest heavily in renewables. No principle c*nts.

RISE - socialist version of the SNP who want to recreate the economic climate of 70's Britian in an independent Scotland. Daft b@stards.

Solidarity - see RISE but with a perjuring, fake-tanned, frequenter of swingers clubs at the helm.

Democracy does not work!

This is why you should vote for me Superfly.

I see you more as the non-benevolent dictator type. I'm fine with that.

You'll never have to vote again Superfly. I'm already making your life easier.

Fist notches...

Morning Shah, Jeff

Gutentag Rickhter

All good in the hood? Looks like fun times ahead rickotine, apparently 28 conservatives are being investigated for electoral fraud. Only thing is the statute of limitations on it which is due to expire soon. God, life is good. How's things for you me ol moocker?

https://youtu.be/O1Dg2xGxl74

Morning notches

Mothernotches

SEAN!!! How the devil is the cc's all time favourite homophobe and borderline alcoholic?

One for you Jeff. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=AIjVpRAXK18

I'm alright. Still no gash. Bar girl knows I like her now and ex.wants me back i think. Lovely working last few days. Looked at a job last night, digging out and relaying net for cricket pitch. Ridiculously wealthy and fit woman. Spent 30 mins there discussing other jobs. Could be a gold mine for me

Buenos Dias Rowley, Estas bien?

How you. Last I heard you were sulking

Welcome back Seany boy, it's been straight without you. Just to let you know that ya man Tino got his balls taken off while you was gone.

Tory fraud shock and sean is back, can see this is going to be a good day!

And it is Friday, winner...

He had the snip? Thought about you the other day. Was working on pitch a two cloaked muslim women walked across the rec. I felt like Samuel l Jackson at the start of Die Hard 3. Had to warn them off before the UKIP massive clocked them.

Hi rick.
Shall be a good day. Charging club to put a more secure fence around square then off to ascot races. Tidy. Only thing that could make it better would be if Danielle Haim accepted my offer of a drink at the cricket club.

seanmichaels wrote:How you. Last I heard you were sulking

You'd have to be more specific. Never an impossibility to be fair.

Morning mate, glad to see the career change is working out!  Be even better now the weather is changing I expect.

Should get your self to Chester races, the gash there is extraordinary

rick_dagless wrote:Morning mate, glad to see the career change is working out!  Be even better now the weather is changing I expect.

Should get your self to Chester races the gash there is extraordinary

He's looking for a different kind of filly rick, for that he has to go to a black history museum

Can't wait for Jules' bug fact of the day. I bet he has got a belter.

Ola Notches....

Seany Seany Seany, stay the F*CK away from your ex. The mealy mouthed b!tch just wants to drag you around by the yingyang and not in any way that will be good for you.

Voted yesterday, impressive turnout for a change...was then informed that the long queue was for the local slimmer's club and the desperately lonely people in a dusty room at the back were the unfortunate souls tasked with spending what little time they have left on the planet desperately hoping someone would come in and take advantage of the opportunities afforded to them by the sacrifices of others. Hey ho...anyway, voted for chap called Robert Watts. A lot of houses seemed to have his boards in their gardens...he even had his own office on the main road!!!

Bug Fact....there are too many spiders in the world to count but my wife is most likely terrified of the f*cking lot.

Other news, Liverpool in a European final for the first time in nearly a decade. Time to be optimistic for a fortnight then have my hopes and dreams cruelly dashed.