The Culture Cup Round x - Adam is a naughty naughty boy

First topic message reminder :

Great idea, Rick. Like windscreen wipers on a duck's butt.

Nice to see Rotherham not making the list, guess we are all too busy noncing kids up.

Priorities and all that, Rowley.

If you had to choose, would you rather slip it to a living animal or a dead person?

How long have they been dead?

How hot is the animal?

Alistair wrote:More money to waste on take-away, Rick.

That's an awful lot of quinoa and cereal served in a cereal café though 'stair...

Recently dead (pre-rigor) and your choice on the animal.

Quinoa is such a pointless 'food'. There's a youtube advert with some bloke making a dish with Uncle Bens rice and quinoa, he sounds like he has a cold and it annoys the p*ss out of me.

Dead...

Seen some pretty hot vampires so I will go for that.

Quinoa is not even nice... it needs to get in the F***ing sea

Yes, I would go with dead.

Alistair wrote:Yes, I would go with dead.

I think I would as well.

I could probably get it up for a female gorilla or a maybe a large cat but not much else.

I don't think I'd have any problems with a deadie.

One caveat, what is the cause of death? Gonna struggle to get it up for someone whose had their face mangled by a car tyre or had their chest stabbed 47 times (DAVE).

Alistair wrote:One caveat, what is the cause of death? Gonna struggle to get it up for someone whose had their face mangled by a car tyre or had their chest stabbed 47 times (DAVE).

Didn't think of that. They just died. Not physical mutilation.

So, wake up next to your wife/girlfriend, she's dead but still warm?

Alistair wrote:So, wake up next to your wife/girlfriend, she's dead but still warm?

I was thinking more like someone who has keys to a morgue (DAVE) letting you in if you slip him a fiver and a signed copy of Reign in Blood.

Will there be a price list?

Alistair wrote:Will there be a price list?

It will be a bit like a tombola. You pay DAVE to get in, then you open a draw and whatever comes out is yours for an hour.

I see, seems like a fair deal.

I'd shag a polar bear. If you're going to have to do something like this at least make a statement with it. Making a polar bear your bitch is quite the statement.

Afternoon gents, good to see we are not letting the standards slip around here.

Sounds like a drunken conversation I had with a mate once, which divided the whole pub.

It kind of went: " if you had to shag a fox (the animal not a foxy lady) would it matter if it was male or female?"

Rowley wrote:I'd shag a polar bear. If you're going to have to do something like this at least make a statement with it. Making a polar bear your bitch is quite the statement.

I would as well.

Any kind of bear actually. Especially a panda.

What about Bear Grylls?

If you're going down that route, what about face f**cking a cobra?

Alistair wrote:If you're going down that route, what about face f**cking a cobra?

For the sake of f*ck, Alistair. I'm not a monster.

No, riCK. No I would not. I'd do Galted Ray Mears though.

Could go for a reach around from a spider monkey...

Has the dead person died of AIDS?

Or use the pincers of a Scorpion to knock one out?

Good point, Super.

superflyweight wrote:Has the dead person died of AIDS?  

Good AIDS or Bad AIDS?

rick_dagless wrote:

superflyweight wrote:Has the dead person died of AIDS?  

Good AIDS or Bad AIDS?

Good AIDS. Not the AIDS that bummers get.

So Tom Hanks AIDS?

Hmm, are we allowed to shave the primate? A blowhole would be quite tactile as well...

I see that SERIAL has jumped on Jeff's populist "Brook" thread bandwagon...

Alistair wrote:So Tom Hanks AIDS?

Yes, or Magic Johnson.

Definitely not Kenny Everett AIDS.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/food/article-3573009/Baffled-diners-share-hilarious-photos-restaurant-meals-served-bricks-shopping-trolleys-PIPES.html

Just for you, RICk.

What about Freddie Mercury AIDS? Where you have AIDS but you don't die from AIDS.

Alistair wrote:What about Freddie Mercury AIDS? Where you have AIDS but you don't die from AIDS.

I wasn't expecting so many questions on this.

Can we just say we all have to slip it to an animal instead?

Jeff has already claimed the polar bears, I'm doing a panda.

Over to the rest of you.

rick_dagless wrote:Hmm, are we allowed to shave the primate?  A blowhole would be quite tactile as well...

I see that SERIAL has jumped on Jeff's populist "Brook" thread bandwagon...

I'm glad somebody noticed that Rick. Start preparing a case, we're suing.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Alistair wrote:What about Freddie Mercury AIDS? Where you have AIDS but you don't die from AIDS.

I wasn't expecting so many questions on this.

Can we just say we all have to slip it to an animal instead?

Jeff has already claimed the polar bears, I'm doing a panda.  

Over to the rest of you.

You've created more debate. May I state that it's more debate than your 'Insect Facts'.

Granted, it's nowhere near as tasteful, informative and fascinating, but still.

Alistair wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Alistair wrote:What about Freddie Mercury AIDS? Where you have AIDS but you don't die from AIDS.

I wasn't expecting so many questions on this.

Can we just say we all have to slip it to an animal instead?

Jeff has already claimed the polar bears, I'm doing a panda.  

Over to the rest of you.

You've created more debate. May I state that it's more debate than your 'Insect Facts'.

Granted, it's nowhere near as tasteful, informative and fascinating, but still.

'Bug' facts, Alistair. Jules and Ray Mears get very upset if we call it 'insect' facts.

So, what animal are you going for?

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Alistair wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Alistair wrote:What about Freddie Mercury AIDS? Where you have AIDS but you don't die from AIDS.

I wasn't expecting so many questions on this.

Can we just say we all have to slip it to an animal instead?

Jeff has already claimed the polar bears, I'm doing a panda.  

Over to the rest of you.

You've created more debate. May I state that it's more debate than your 'Insect Facts'.

Granted, it's nowhere near as tasteful, informative and fascinating, but still.

'Bug' facts, Alistair.  Jules and Ray Mears get very upset if we call it 'insect' facts.

So, what animal are you going for?

I feel I should stick to face f**king a Cobra, but it doesn't seem as dangerous or cool as your choices. Might need some more thought.

Will the animal have AIDS?

Alistair wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Alistair wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Alistair wrote:What about Freddie Mercury AIDS? Where you have AIDS but you don't die from AIDS.

I wasn't expecting so many questions on this.

Can we just say we all have to slip it to an animal instead?

Jeff has already claimed the polar bears, I'm doing a panda.  

Over to the rest of you.

You've created more debate. May I state that it's more debate than your 'Insect Facts'.

Granted, it's nowhere near as tasteful, informative and fascinating, but still.

'Bug' facts, Alistair.  Jules and Ray Mears get very upset if we call it 'insect' facts.

So, what animal are you going for?

I feel I should stick to face f**king a Cobra, but it doesn't seem as dangerous or cool as your choices. Might need some more thought.

I'd say sticking your knob in a cobra is pretty dangerous.

l*l

superflyweight wrote:Will the animal have AIDS?

No. No good or bad AIDS.

Just normal, disease free animals.

Alistair wrote:l*l

Please don't encourage him.

I will go for a deer.

Adam D wrote:I will go for a deer.

Muntjac?

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Alistair wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Alistair wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Alistair wrote:What about Freddie Mercury AIDS? Where you have AIDS but you don't die from AIDS.

I wasn't expecting so many questions on this.

Can we just say we all have to slip it to an animal instead?

Jeff has already claimed the polar bears, I'm doing a panda.  

Over to the rest of you.

You've created more debate. May I state that it's more debate than your 'Insect Facts'.

Granted, it's nowhere near as tasteful, informative and fascinating, but still.

'Bug' facts, Alistair.  Jules and Ray Mears get very upset if we call it 'insect' facts.

So, what animal are you going for?

I feel I should stick to face f**king a Cobra, but it doesn't seem as dangerous or cool as your choices. Might need some more thought.

I'd say sticking your knob in a cobra is pretty dangerous.

Unless it's a spitting cobra.

I'd face f*ck a great white so I could recreate the death of Jaws every time I ejaculate

Adam D wrote:I will go for a deer.

You want to have animal sex with Bambi?

This is why people ignore you. There's a line, Adam.

Alistair wrote:

Adam D wrote:I will go for a deer.

You want to have animal sex with Bambi?

This is why people ignore you. There's a line, Adam.

It's the only way he can claim to have shagged something so hard it had troubling getting to it's feet afterwards

ShahenshahG wrote:

Alistair wrote:

Adam D wrote:I will go for a deer.

You want to have animal sex with Bambi?

This is why people ignore you. There's a line, Adam.

It's the only way he can claim to have shagged something so hard it had troubling getting to it's feet afterwards

He could just let the air out of his inflatable.