The Culture Cup Round x - Adam is a naughty naughty boy

First topic message reminder :

I hope Jules is quick enough to get the thread split with one of his puns. Would hate it to be something tedious.

rick_dagless wrote:

SERIAL wrote:Phew, I prefer "good in the 'hood" to "blood in the 'hood"

It is a 50/50 what you get normally, keeps everyone on their toes...

Hope you find something Tino.  Speaking of career changes, where is our resident bummer boy these days?

Still sucking off old men whilst pretending to 'mow their lawns' I think.

I always assumed that "tending to their garden" was a euphemism anyway.

Morning.

Morning Alistair, I'm off to the Ebor on Saturday, any tips?

Alistair wrote:Morning.

Good morning.

Have you 'accidentally' fallen into bed with your ex again recently?

Morning, Rick!

I'll have a look and get back to you.

Tino, no i have not. I told her to take a long walk off a short pier.

Cheers Alistair, I have quite the record of not being able to pick my nose at York!

It's always a difficult meeting to judge, Rick.

How is everyone on here?

Yeah I always screw it up...

I am pretty good cheers, busy but looking forward to the weekend. Everything now settled down at your end since giving the ex the middle finger?

Yeah it has actually. Nicely chilled, keeping myself busy and banging someone from the office, so it's not too bad at all.

Alistair wrote:Yeah it has actually. Nicely chilled, keeping myself busy and banging someone from the office, .

Good stuff Sean.

rick_dagless wrote:Yeah I always screw it up...

I am pretty good cheers, busy but looking forward to the weekend.  Everything now settled down at your end since giving the ex the middle finger?

Thought he said he'd told her to get lost?

Rowley wrote:

Alistair wrote:Yeah it has actually. Nicely chilled, keeping myself busy and banging someone from the office, .

Good stuff Sean.

Not unless it's a mutual thing in which case it's definitely frowned upon (this bloke I know, told me as much...ahem!)

Alistair wrote:Yeah it has actually. Nicely chilled, keeping myself busy and banging someone from the office, so it's not too bad at all.

I reckon it's Gareth, or maybe Chris Finch.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3746691/Mother-two-scared-death-finds-venomous-seven-inch-tarantula-cleaning-house.html

"'My husband had his size nine work boots on but he wouldn't stamp on it in case he missed it."

Is he some sort of spazz? How can you miss a spider that big with a pair of size nines. Galted wouldn't miss it with his Hi-Tec sandals. No sir.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3746691/Mother-two-scared-death-finds-venomous-seven-inch-tarantula-cleaning-house.html

"'My husband had his size nine work boots on but he wouldn't stamp on it in case he missed it."

Is he some sort of spazz?  How can you miss a spider that big with a pair of size nines.  Galted wouldn't miss it with his Hi-Tec sandals.  No sir.  

Size nine feet, f*cking ballet dancing ponce. I'd have stomped the f*ck out of it (after first ensuring my wife was definitely going to give me a blowjob for being so brave)

Rowley wrote:

Alistair wrote:Yeah it has actually. Nicely chilled, keeping myself busy and banging someone from the office, .

Good stuff Sean.

Thanks, Jeff.

Egg and sausage sarnie, salt and vinegar Hula Hoops, 5/10

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3746691/Mother-two-scared-death-finds-venomous-seven-inch-tarantula-cleaning-house.html

"'My husband had his size nine work boots on but he wouldn't stamp on it in case he missed it."

Is he some sort of spazz?  How can you miss a spider that big with a pair of size nines.  Galted wouldn't miss it with his Hi-Tec sandals.  No sir.  

Very correct, Tino. However, I probably wouldn't harm it as I am fascinated by spiders and value their role in the natural world, particularly the manner in which they control the populations of annoying insects and small birds.

Galted wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3746691/Mother-two-scared-death-finds-venomous-seven-inch-tarantula-cleaning-house.html

"'My husband had his size nine work boots on but he wouldn't stamp on it in case he missed it."

Is he some sort of spazz?  How can you miss a spider that big with a pair of size nines.  Galted wouldn't miss it with his Hi-Tec sandals.  No sir.  

Very correct, Tino. However, I probably wouldn't harm it as I am fascinated by spiders and value their role in the natural world, particularly the manner in which they control the populations of annoying insects and small birds.

I often wonder why I like you, Galted. And then a post like this arrives and I remember exactly why.

rick_dagless wrote:Egg and sausage sarnie, salt and vinegar Hula Hoops, 5/10

Greasy spoon for lunch?

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Galted wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3746691/Mother-two-scared-death-finds-venomous-seven-inch-tarantula-cleaning-house.html

"'My husband had his size nine work boots on but he wouldn't stamp on it in case he missed it."

Is he some sort of spazz?  How can you miss a spider that big with a pair of size nines.  Galted wouldn't miss it with his Hi-Tec sandals.  No sir.  

Very correct, Tino. However, I probably wouldn't harm it as I am fascinated by spiders and value their role in the natural world, particularly the manner in which they control the populations of annoying insects and small birds.

I often wonder why I like you, Galted.  And then a post like this arrives and I remember exactly why.

I'm now smiling uncontrollably. Luckily the angry Kiwi's away this week or he'd have lots to say about my uncontrollable smile.

superflyweight wrote:

rick_dagless wrote:Egg and sausage sarnie, salt and vinegar Hula Hoops, 5/10

Greasy spoon for lunch?  

Unfortunately not mate, just a pre packed cold sandwich from the canteen, hence the low marks...

Galted wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Galted wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3746691/Mother-two-scared-death-finds-venomous-seven-inch-tarantula-cleaning-house.html

"'My husband had his size nine work boots on but he wouldn't stamp on it in case he missed it."

Is he some sort of spazz?  How can you miss a spider that big with a pair of size nines.  Galted wouldn't miss it with his Hi-Tec sandals.  No sir.  

Very correct, Tino. However, I probably wouldn't harm it as I am fascinated by spiders and value their role in the natural world, particularly the manner in which they control the populations of annoying insects and small birds.

I often wonder why I like you, Galted.  And then a post like this arrives and I remember exactly why.

I'm now smiling uncontrollably. Luckily the angry Kiwi's away this week or he'd have lots to say about my uncontrollable smile.

We now have a Kiwi working with us for a year, Galted. Ewan is his name. Ask your Kiwi if he knows him.

Our Kiwi is not particularly angry and actually a rather pleasant chap. He is not bald either, if that helps your Kiwi to narrow it down.

I brought Ewan along to a pre-season training session at our rugby club to help him settle in to the UK. F*cking hell he is good. Made us look even sh*tter than we are already. Couldn't get near him. Safe to say he will be playing at a better standard than we can offer him during his stay.

FFS Rick, what's going on there? Five large slices of pizza (BBQ pulled pork and Beef) piece of Vanilla Cheesecake, cup of tea, supervisor brought it in thinking there'd be more of us in the office 9/10 (got extra point for being free, lost a point cos I've eaten so much I feel sick now)

We used to have a Kiwi working with us years ago, he went back home but even so I doubt it's him that you know Tina, he'd be too old for Rugby now. He definitely wasn't angry though. He was (and probably still is) called Andy. Galted, find out if your guy knows him, Tina, ask your guy if he knows Andy the smiling Kiwi who used to work for the Police. There must only be about 56 of the f*ckers worldwide so it shouldn't be do difficult

DAVE667 wrote:We used to have a Kiwi working with us years ago, he went back home but even so I doubt it's him that you know Tina, he'd be too old for Rugby now. He definitely wasn't angry though. He was (and probably still is) called Andy. Galted, find out if your guy knows him, Tina, ask your guy if he knows Andy the smiling Kiwi who used to work for the Police. There must only be about 56 of the f*ckers worldwide so it shouldn't be do difficult

I'll ask him. Give me a few minutes.

My lunch feels inadequate now...

I have an ex in New Zealand and a mate is used to work with, I will ask them.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

DAVE667 wrote:We used to have a Kiwi working with us years ago, he went back home but even so I doubt it's him that you know Tina, he'd be too old for Rugby now. He definitely wasn't angry though. He was (and probably still is) called Andy. Galted, find out if your guy knows him, Tina, ask your guy if he knows Andy the smiling Kiwi who used to work for the Police. There must only be about 56 of the f*ckers worldwide so it shouldn't be do difficult

I'll ask him.  Give me a few minutes.

You take all the time you need

(we've been waiting 12 years for CC 3.0 so I'm not expecting answer til Xmas) is what some mealy mouthed c*nt might say but not me, oh no.

rick_dagless wrote:My lunch feels inadequate now...

I have an ex in New Zealand and a mate is used to work with, I will ask them.

For the f*cking sake of WTF, Rick

DAVE667 wrote:

rick_dagless wrote:My lunch feels inadequate now...

I have an ex in New Zealand and a mate is used to work with, I will ask them.

For the f*cking sake of WTF, Rick

It is the consequence of a sub standard meal, I am struggling on both motor and cognitive functions DAVE.

DAVE667 wrote:We used to have a Kiwi working with us years ago, he went back home but even so I doubt it's him that you know Tina, he'd be too old for Rugby now. He definitely wasn't angry though. He was (and probably still is) called Andy. Galted, find out if your guy knows him, Tina, ask your guy if he knows Andy the smiling Kiwi who used to work for the Police. There must only be about 56 of the f*ckers worldwide so it shouldn't be do difficult

Negative from me, Serial.

Ewan does know a couple of people called Andy but neither of them have been to the UK so they can't be the same person that you worked with.

It was worth a try.

rick_dagless wrote:

DAVE667 wrote:

rick_dagless wrote:My lunch feels inadequate now...

I have an ex in New Zealand and a mate is used to work with, I will ask them.

For the f*cking sake of WTF, Rick

It is the consequence of a sub standard meal, I am struggling on both motor and cognitive functions DAVE.

I'm saddened by this, perhaps Galted could cheer us up by telling about the time he walked around in sandals and pretended no-one was laughing at him

DAVE667 wrote:

rick_dagless wrote:

DAVE667 wrote:

rick_dagless wrote:My lunch feels inadequate now...

I have an ex in New Zealand and a mate is used to work with, I will ask them.

For the f*cking sake of WTF, Rick

It is the consequence of a sub standard meal, I am struggling on both motor and cognitive functions DAVE.

I'm saddened by this, perhaps Galted could cheer us up by telling about the time he walked around in sandals and pretended no-one was laughing at him

I hope I can muster the strength to laugh...

rick_dagless wrote:

DAVE667 wrote:

rick_dagless wrote:

DAVE667 wrote:

rick_dagless wrote:My lunch feels inadequate now...

I have an ex in New Zealand and a mate is used to work with, I will ask them.

For the f*cking sake of WTF, Rick

It is the consequence of a sub standard meal, I am struggling on both motor and cognitive functions DAVE.

I'm saddened by this, perhaps Galted could cheer us up by telling about the time he walked around in sandals and pretended no-one was laughing at him

I hope I can muster the strength to laugh...

He may to go one better and tell of the time he was turned down for a nosh by a tramp as the tramp he didn't want to be seen with someone who looked so bloody ridiculous

I will ask the angry Kiwi (Rob) if he knows Andy or Ewan when he gets back from his angry break*. I doubt he'd know them though as he's been in the UK for about 20 years now, hating all things British.

* depending on whether he's on speaking terms with me or not.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/video/news/video-1320977/Shocking-racist-diatribe-bikini-clad-woman-caught-camera.html
TRUSS on his day off!

DAVE667 wrote:FFS Rick, what's going on there? Five large slices of pizza (BBQ pulled pork and Beef) piece of Vanilla Cheesecake, cup of tea, supervisor brought it in thinking there'd be more of us in the office 9/10 (got extra point for being free, lost a point cos I've eaten so much I feel sick now)

Rotund c*nt.

Spaghetti with mashed steak and kidney pie with melted red Leicester cheese. 10/10

ShahenshahG wrote:

DAVE667 wrote:FFS Rick, what's going on there? Five large slices of pizza (BBQ pulled pork and Beef) piece of Vanilla Cheesecake, cup of tea, supervisor brought it in thinking there'd be more of us in the office 9/10 (got extra point for being free, lost a point cos I've eaten so much I feel sick now)

Rotund c*nt.

Spaghetti with mashed steak and kidney pie with melted red Leicester cheese. 10/10

I agree, someone said, "F*cking hell, Dave you've absolutely Shah'd that!"

DAVE667 wrote:

ShahenshahG wrote:

DAVE667 wrote:FFS Rick, what's going on there? Five large slices of pizza (BBQ pulled pork and Beef) piece of Vanilla Cheesecake, cup of tea, supervisor brought it in thinking there'd be more of us in the office 9/10 (got extra point for being free, lost a point cos I've eaten so much I feel sick now)

Rotund c*nt.

Spaghetti with mashed steak and kidney pie with melted red Leicester cheese. 10/10

I agree, someone said, "F*cking hell, Dave you've absolutely Shah'd that!"

That's a bald-headed lie.

I thought about going to New Zealand once. I didn't bother in the end.

My Auntie used to lie there in the 70's, they liked it but apparently liked Durham better

DAVE667 wrote:My Auntie used to lie there in the 70's, they liked it but apparently liked Durham better

You take after her Dave, you're also a fat biatch

ShahenshahG wrote:

DAVE667 wrote:My Auntie used to lie there in the 70's, they liked it but apparently liked Durham better

You take after her Dave, you're also a fat biatch

Why you being a c*nt about my Auntie? Oh yeah, because you're a c*nt!

Just f*ck off Shah, all the way off. When you get there, f*ck off some more, keep f*cking off until you're back where you started then f*ck off all over again!

Nice to see this place hasn't changed.

DAVE667 wrote:

ShahenshahG wrote:

DAVE667 wrote:My Auntie used to lie there in the 70's, they liked it but apparently liked Durham better

You take after her Dave, you're also a fat biatch

Why you being a c*nt about my Auntie? Oh yeah, because you're a c*nt!

Just f*ck off Shah, all the way off. When you get there, f*ck off some more, keep f*cking off until you're back where you started then f*ck off all over again!

That is onetwo level special Dave. You have surpassed yourself.

Morning Notches.

All well

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s70OsXlDD94

For Dave

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EzeDqRhM09w

Can't access the link so am going to assume that you're playing Damageplan's "F*ck You!" and have dedicated it to yourself