The Culture Cup Round x - Adam is a naughty naughty boy

First topic message reminder :

I hope Jules is quick enough to get the thread split with one of his puns. Would hate it to be something tedious.

The Loaded Dog wrote:Saw a pride of lions lounging around in this big circus yard whilst I was stuck in traffic alongside it a few weeks back.

Performing lions have no pride.

JuliusHMarx wrote:

The Loaded Dog wrote:Saw a pride of lions lounging around in this big circus yard whilst I was stuck in traffic alongside it a few weeks back.

Performing lions have no pride.

I agree, they're indifferent in the mane.

The Loaded Dog wrote:Saw a pride of lions lounging around in this big circus yard whilst I was stuck in traffic alongside it a few weeks back.

Thought it looked very odd... you know... African beasts trapped in Australia for our entertainment. They seemed to be enjoying themselves though. In fact, they looked quite at home and very relaxed in their new surroundings.

At least there's less chance of them getting shot by an American dentist.

Gutentag Notcherinos


Well I heard he needed some help on the farm
Somebody with a truck and two strong arms
Not scared of dirt and willin' to work
Till the sun goes down
So I pulled up and said I'm your man
I could start right now and we shook hands
He said the fence needs fixin',
The peaches need pickin'
And the cows need bringin' round

I was haulin' hay, I was feedin' the hogs
And that summer sun had me sweatin' like a dog
So I cooled off in the creek
Then it was back to work in the daggum heat
I was cussin' out loud, thinkin' bout quitin'
Lookin' back now I'm sure glad I didn't
Cause just when I thought it couldn't get no hotter
I caught glimpse of the farmer's daughter

She was just gettin' home from Panama city
She was all tanned up and my kinda pretty
When her eyes met mine
I was thinkin' that I would sure love my job
As the days got shorter our talks got longer
The kisses got sweeter and the feelings got stronger
So we'd hop in the truck and get all tangled up
Every chance we got
We were down by the river all night long
When the sun came up I was sneakin' her home
And draggin' my butt to work
With the smell of her perfume on my shirt
I'd be on the tractor she'd be on my mind
With that sun beatin' down on this back of mine
Just when I thought it couldn't get no hotter
I fell in love with the farmer's daughter
We got married last spring
Whoa and there ain't no better life for me

I'm still haulin' hay and feedin' the hogs
And that summer sun has me sweatin' like a dog
So I cool off in the creek
And she brings me outta glass of sweet ice tea
I'm on the tractor and shes on my mind
And I can't wait till its quitin' time
And just when I think it can't get no hotter
I come home to the farmer's daughter
Yeah, the farmer's daughter

Fecking Hell Michaelmas is here.

rick_dagless wrote:Morning sean, how goes the gardening business?

It is going alright. Have 3 regular full days and just fill the other days with odd jobs. Being lazy today, can't be arrised. Managed to lose 2.5stone over the summer which has been an added benefit. Winter is the litmus test but just come into a bit of cash from the old man. Want to use.it for an electrical course and a block.paving course

Morning shahreef

Morning Sean the porn, all good in the hood?

Morning notches nerds and nonces,

EEEENNNNGGGEEEERRRRLLLAAAANNNNDDDD...........are sh!t!

FFS I appear to have Michaelsed the internet!

It's f*cking desperate on here these days.

I've tried my best, Super but it's definitely grim. On the other hand, chances are it's me that's killed the site stone dead.

It's maybe time to resurrect The Culture Cup Round VI thread. I always preferred Round VI to Round X and the riff raff found it much harder to find.

Whatever works mate, even the news that I've tickets to see CLUTCH in Manchester is likely to be rec'd as warmly as an invitation to sponge Rowley down in his Radox bath whilst he listens to some j*zz

I pine for the days of insect facts and tales of the women that fancy sean.

JuliusHMarx wrote:I pine for the days of insect facts and tales of the women that fancy sean.

Nostalgia is a beech sometimes.

ShahenshahG wrote:

JuliusHMarx wrote:I pine for the days of insect facts and tales of the women that fancy sean.

Nostalgia is a beech sometimes.

Yew and your tree puns....

JuliusHMarx wrote:

ShahenshahG wrote:

JuliusHMarx wrote:I pine for the days of insect facts and tales of the women that fancy sean.

Nostalgia is a beech sometimes.

Yew and your tree puns....

Getting Alder does not excuse your inability to count.

ShahenshahG wrote:

JuliusHMarx wrote:

ShahenshahG wrote:

JuliusHMarx wrote:I pine for the days of insect facts and tales of the women that fancy sean.

Nostalgia is a beech sometimes.

Yew and your tree puns....

Getting Alder does not excuse your inability to count.

Oakay, you got me there.

JuliusHMarx wrote:

ShahenshahG wrote:

JuliusHMarx wrote:

ShahenshahG wrote:

JuliusHMarx wrote:I pine for the days of insect facts and tales of the women that fancy sean.

Nostalgia is a beech sometimes.

Yew and your tree puns....

Getting Alder does not excuse your inability to count.

Oakay, you got me there.

That's enough I think, as everyone would get sycamore.

Fir f*ck's sake, enough with the puns.

Galted wrote:Fir f*ck's sake, enough with the puns.

I don't think the opinion of a p*ssy willow like you will halt our punnery.

ShahenshahG wrote:

Galted wrote:Fir f*ck's sake, enough with the puns.

I don't think the opinion of a p*ssy willow like you will halt our punnery.

Quite right - we're not going to rest on our laurels.

JuliusHMarx wrote:

ShahenshahG wrote:

Galted wrote:Fir f*ck's sake, enough with the puns.

I don't think the opinion of a p*ssy willow like you will halt our punnery.

Quite right - we're not going to rest on our laurels.

Agreed, although (with heavy hearts) we may opt for someone else at the Elm.

ShahenshahG wrote:

JuliusHMarx wrote:

ShahenshahG wrote:

Galted wrote:Fir f*ck's sake, enough with the puns.

I don't think the opinion of a p*ssy willow like you will halt our punnery.

Quite right - we're not going to rest on our laurels.

Agreed, although (with heavy hearts) we may opt for someone else at the Elm.

Yes, although they wouldn't be as poplar as we are.

JuliusHMarx wrote:

ShahenshahG wrote:

JuliusHMarx wrote:

ShahenshahG wrote:

Galted wrote:Fir f*ck's sake, enough with the puns.

I don't think the opinion of a p*ssy willow like you will halt our punnery.

Quite right - we're not going to rest on our laurels.

Agreed, although (with heavy hearts) we may opt for someone else at the Elm.

Yes, although they wouldn't be as poplar as we are.

Perhaps, but I believe in the long term we'd get kudos for letting the noobs Spruce up this place.

Life is a beech

Bit off the boxing. Is kell brook gonna get marmalised this weekend?

seanmichaels wrote:Bit off the boxing. Is kell brook gonna get marmalised this weekend?

Yes.

seanmichaels wrote:Bit off the boxing. Is kell brook gonna get marmalised this weekend?

Yes

Morning Notches, I see I have missed nought after a couple of days off, how was the weekend?

Morning Rick, we were overwraught without you. Quiet and dull. How went your extended weekend?

It was excellent thanks mate, lots of music, drink and shenanigans with some good friends, happy days.

How was yours?

Dull apart from the w*nking. I realised that i'd w*nked far too much when i managed to pee on me own balls after the whole area started acting as a shrinkwrap.

rick_dagless wrote:

seanmichaels wrote:Bit off the boxing. Is kell brook gonna get marmalised this weekend?

Yes

Morning Notches, I see I have missed nought after a couple of days off....

F*ck you rick. Tree puns.

Fair point mate, it was probably like silly string towards the end anyway. Still at least your fitbit would have shown some quite vigorous exercise.

I am supposed to be in Northampton today, that is near you is it not?

JuliusHMarx wrote:

rick_dagless wrote:

seanmichaels wrote:Bit off the boxing. Is kell brook gonna get marmalised this weekend?

Yes

Morning Notches, I see I have missed nought after a couple of days off....

F*ck you rick. Tree puns.

Sorry Jules, I was barking up the wrong tree clearly.

rick_dagless wrote:Fair point mate, it was probably like silly string towards the end anyway.  Still at least your fitbit would have shown some quite vigorous exercise.

I am supposed to be in Northampton today, that is near you is it not?

Just shy of 50 minutes away Ricko. What area are you going to go?

rick, are you going to Northampton to meet Alan Moore to help launch his new novel Jerusalem?

Whittlebury, Shah, if that means anything to you?

Alas not Jules, though that would certainly be preferable to the forced networking event serenading as a strategy conference that I will be attending.

Whittlebury, Northamptonshire - my mind is refreshed, that's quite close to Milton Keynes about 5 miles away. Not much good to eat nearby except for the chinese and the Pub. The fox and hound in both Luton and Whittlebury is supposed to be really good. Maybe next time.

Ah well, I will make do with the 5h1tty canapés etc.

You can masquerade as me and attend if you so wish?

Can't pull off the accent. Otherwise I would enjoy waffling on about things I have no idea about.

Just tell them you are on your way back to Deanshanger from Towcester. Picking up a parcel for a mate. Noboby will blink.

Double breast burger meal. Lemon and herb flavour with chilli sauce and grated cheese on the burger. F*cking luscious. 10/10

The Loaded Dog wrote:Just tell them you are on your way back to Deanshanger from Towcester. Picking up a parcel for a mate. Noboby will blink.

P*ki's + parcels = panic!!!

Savoury cheese sarnie, salt and vinegar crisps 6/10

I need to do a quiz vaguely about IT for a works away day, anyone got any decent questions?

rick_dagless wrote:Savoury cheese sarnie, salt and vinegar crisps 6/10

I need to do a quiz vaguely about IT for a works away day, anyone got any decent questions?

Why did you pick the sewers as your killing ground?

Shuffle, Nano, Touch and Classic are variations of what?


A w*nk.

That's going in supes.

Cheers for that Shah, I was more confused with why pick a clown costume, but whatever works.

I would also accept masturbation, Rick.