It's not 'Send', it's the 'Culture Cup', stupid.

First topic message reminder :

A booze-pilfering drunken feral pig has caused chaos by running amok at an Australian campsite and starting a fight with a cow.

The belligerent porker went on a drunken bender after stealing and drinking three six-packs of beer that had been left out by campers at the DeGrey River campsite in Port Hedland, Australia.

In the predictable series of events that followed the animal went on to ransack rubbish bin bags to find some late-night snacks before starting a fight with an innocent eyewitness cow.

Following the boarish rampage the pig decided to swim out into the middle of a river before collapsing drunk under a tree and falling asleep.

One camper named Merida recounted the tale to the ABC network: "It was in the middle of the night and it was these people camping opposite us and they heard this crunching of the can and they got their torch out and shone it on the pig and there he was scrunching away at their cans."

"Then he went and raided their rubbish that they had sort of covered over with a bin as well.

"And then there was some other people camped right on the river and they saw him running around their vehicle being chased by a cow.

"It was going around and around and then it went into the river and swam across to the middle of the river.

"The people that were camped on the river went across and crept up on it and it was hiding and sleeping under a big log right on the edge of the water."

"It was sort of coming from there for a couple of days but we didn't see it this morning or last night."

LaL could mean laughing a lot...

I have my moments.

Read Grisham's 'The King of Torts' recently. Sh*te book but I tend to remember what I read.

In Scotland, Tort is Delict...

If ever a post deserved a michaelsing, it was that one.

Could not agree more, still stuck on LaL though...

Turkey and cranberry Panini, milk. 7/10

Pizza Hut all you can eat buffet & unlimited soft drink 7/10

My cat is currently sitting next to her food bowl thinking she's about to be fed when in actual fact she's about to be taken to the vet.
Hahahahaha, teach her to slap me awake at 1 every f*cking morning.

Fist notches.

Morning all.

Gutentag Notches

Happy day before the last day

Morning mate, you all excited for a break?

I'm so excited...I just can't hide it, You know you know you know I want weed. 10 days of bedded bliss my friend and lots of seeing people I do like to see and don't get to very often...like my kids. What about you mate?

Similar, though probably without the weed, and defiantly without the kids to be fair, but substitute booze and friends you are about there.

Just waiting on Amazon to get their @sses in gear and I am gravy, and finally look like exchanging contracts on my new place soon, so all good.

Fully expecting to do knack all, all week, I have been the only person in the office for the last hour so I can not for the life of me expect much to come my way today.

And, finally, most of the old faces back on the cup, good times...

rick_dagless wrote:Similar, though probably without the weed, and defiantly without the kids to be fair, but substitute booze and friends you are about there.

Just waiting on Amazon to get their @sses in gear and I am gravy, and finally look like exchanging contracts on my new place soon, so all good.

Fully expecting to do knack all, all week, I have been the only person in the office for the last hour so I can not for the life of me expect much to come my way today.

And, finally, most of the old faces back on the cup, good times...

Not a bad typo considering the topic

Never had a problem with an amazon delivery, what you waiting on?

Haha, just noticed that too, it can stay in...

Me neither, I ordered late, so they are dispatched and on schedule, Amazon have always been spot on, and one of the main benefits in living in a gated complex is that the security lodge handles all the packages, so I can walk down and pick them up at any time.

My mother still believes I live in a state of constant squalor and near starvation, so the food situation normally sorts itself out.

rick_dagless wrote:Haha, just noticed that too, it can stay in...

Me neither, I ordered late, so they are dispatched and on schedule, Amazon have always been spot on, and one of the main benefits in living in a gated complex is that the security lodge handles all the packages, so I can walk down and pick them up at any time.

My mother still believes I live in a state of constant squalor and near starvation, so the food situation normally sorts itself out.

Ah mother food. My mum is pretty much disorganized so can go from the sublime to the useless in pretty much the next course of the same meal.So I always have a takeaway number to hand.

My mother has actually said during a phone call that I sounded hungry, and proceeded to send a food package.

She is a good cook to be fair, so I don't complain too much.

rick_dagless wrote:Me neither, I ordered late, so they are dispatched and on schedule, Amazon have always been spot on, and one of the main benefits in living in a gated complex is that the security lodge handles all the packages, so I can walk down and pick them up at any time.

Are you banged up in a open prison rick?

JuliusHMarx wrote:

rick_dagless wrote:Me neither, I ordered late, so they are dispatched and on schedule, Amazon have always been spot on, and one of the main benefits in living in a gated complex is that the security lodge handles all the packages, so I can walk down and pick them up at any time.

Are you banged up in a open prison rick?

Mrs D would have it that way mate, but there is a bar onsite, so could be worse.

Though the bar is populated by folk who insist on calling flats, apartments, and take laptops into the bar and talk loudly about work, so swings and roundabouts.

rick_dagless wrote:

JuliusHMarx wrote:

rick_dagless wrote:Me neither, I ordered late, so they are dispatched and on schedule, Amazon have always been spot on, and one of the main benefits in living in a gated complex is that the security lodge handles all the packages, so I can walk down and pick them up at any time.

Are you banged up in a open prison rick?

Mrs D would have it that way mate, but there is a bar onsite, so could be worse.

Though the bar is populated by folk who insist on calling flats, apartments, and take laptops into the bar and talk loudly about work, so swings and roundabouts.

He lives in a playground jules

No can do, by law...

Damn, though it would explain why you don't want children.

Ham, f***ing salad, and salted nuts, no milk, 6/10

Two paratha and yellow curry. 76 out of 5. Fecking lush.

Can not get going this afternoon, but, as they say...

Hard work tends to pay off over time, but laziness always pays off now.

Gated community, security lodge, milk for lunch. I had no idea you were such a bourgeois c*nt rick. That's ruined my Christmas.

Running water in Bradders puts you in the top 1% Jules, if the zombie apocalypse started here no-one would know.

JuliusHMarx wrote:Gated community, security lodge, milk for lunch. I had no idea you were such a bourgeois c*nt rick. That's ruined my Christmas.

Probably uses a bidet as well Jules

Youve outposhed Tino rick. Not sure you can recover from this. This is funnier than the time we realised Jeff used a candle to heat his home...OK maybe not but it's close.

It is all relative Shah, life on the commuter belt out poshes Bradford suburbs, and everything out poshes Luton.

Even Rotherham?

I'm fairly posh. My building (work and home) has a lift and I shop at Waitrose.

A tramp
Was noshed
By he who thinks he's posh
Galted
Galted

Someone less posh than myself might react to Shah's provocative post but I just turn the other cheek due to my poshness.

He turns
His cheek
The Russian's made him meek
Galted
Galted

Might buy some parsnips from M&S on the way home and throw two of them away.

Two snips
Are par
Said Tino from afar
Eunuch
Eunuch

Shah's wit's
Revered
Like Julius with a beard
And not as old
Not as old

Galted wrote:Shah's wit's
Revered
Like Julius with a beard
And not as old
Not as old

An extra
'And'
He's no Russell Bertrand
Galted
Galted

Not sure I've mentioned this before but I've broken into the top 35000 Amazon reviewers so now you can all say that you know a celebrity even though I'd tell most of you to f*ck off if you approached me in the street.

He gives
Reviews
And subscribes to Mummy News
Galted
Galted

Excellent work Galts, are you responsible for the sugar free gummy bear review? Or the immac of the ball sack one?

Cheers, Dagless. No gummy bear review. Nor immac though if I did one it would make for gripping yet gory reading.

I am sure it would Galts, I would like to think that if I stumbled on one, I would instantly know it to be you.

Galted wrote:I'm fairly posh. My building (work and home) has a lift and I shop at Waitrose.

Misses out
the 'The'
All I can say is 'Huh'
Galted
Galted

JuliusHMarx wrote:

Galted wrote:I'm fairly posh. My building (work and home) has a lift and I shop at Waitrose.

Misses out
the 'The'
All I can say is 'Huh'
Galted
Galted

Jeff doesn't appear to be on the thread today so there was no point making any effort.

Makes up
The rules
Just to spite old Jules
Galted
Galted

his name
is Marx
and he bites where Shah just barks
Julius
Julius

He wants
rabies
because Tino can't give him babies
Galted
Galted

he's here
he's there
he's f*cking everywhere
damn Shah
damn Shah