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Bustard tird.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

superflyweight wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Duty281 wrote:

Pal Joey wrote:I think Duty has a connection to the West Indies... maybe his Mum? Anyway, he'll probably tell me I'm dreaming but I do remember him saying something about it once.

Very good, yes, my mother lives in the West Indies. She doesn't care for cricket, though.

Does she live in Barbados? Does she fancy meeting up for a rum and maybe a swim? First two weeks in August.

I think she'll find me a very pleasant person to be around.

Not enough rum in the world.  

Don't be so rude about Duty's ma. She might be lovely.

i was conscious that there was a fair amount of ambiguity in that statement. She could be lovely, it's not always the parents' fault.

JuliusHMarx wrote:

Pal Joey wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Duty281 wrote:

Pal Joey wrote:I think Duty has a connection to the West Indies... maybe his Mum? Anyway, he'll probably tell me I'm dreaming but I do remember him saying something about it once.

Very good, yes, my mother lives in the West Indies. She doesn't care for cricket, though.

Does she live in Barbados? Does she fancy meeting up for a rum and maybe a swim? First two weeks in August.

I think she'll find me a very pleasant person to be around.

Don't you walk through her words
You got to show some respect.

Ah - Dreadlock Holiday. I wish I'd thought of that three minutes before you did.

The things we do for recognition.

Have a great 21,000th post, Jules! We're expecting one of your best.

superflyweight wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

superflyweight wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Duty281 wrote:

Pal Joey wrote:I think Duty has a connection to the West Indies... maybe his Mum? Anyway, he'll probably tell me I'm dreaming but I do remember him saying something about it once.

Very good, yes, my mother lives in the West Indies. She doesn't care for cricket, though.

Does she live in Barbados? Does she fancy meeting up for a rum and maybe a swim? First two weeks in August.

I think she'll find me a very pleasant person to be around.

Not enough rum in the world.  

Don't be so rude about Duty's ma. She might be lovely.

i was conscious that there was a fair amount of ambiguity in that statement.  She could be lovely, it's not always the parents' fault.  

l*l.

I'll set em up, you knock em down.

Pal Joey wrote:

JuliusHMarx wrote:

Pal Joey wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Duty281 wrote:

Pal Joey wrote:I think Duty has a connection to the West Indies... maybe his Mum? Anyway, he'll probably tell me I'm dreaming but I do remember him saying something about it once.

Very good, yes, my mother lives in the West Indies. She doesn't care for cricket, though.

Does she live in Barbados? Does she fancy meeting up for a rum and maybe a swim? First two weeks in August.

I think she'll find me a very pleasant person to be around.

Don't you walk through her words
You got to show some respect.

Ah - Dreadlock Holiday. I wish I'd thought of that three minutes before you did.

The things we do for recognition.

Have a great 21,000th post, Jules! We're expecting one of your best.

Civic.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Duty281 wrote:

Pal Joey wrote:I think Duty has a connection to the West Indies... maybe his Mum? Anyway, he'll probably tell me I'm dreaming but I do remember him saying something about it once.

Very good, yes, my mother lives in the West Indies. She doesn't care for cricket, though.

Does she live in Barbados? Does she fancy meeting up for a rum and maybe a swim? First two weeks in August.

I think she'll find me a very pleasant person to be around.

I can't pass on your request as I don't like the idea of you being my stepfather, sorry x

JuliusHMarx wrote:

Duty281 wrote:

Pal Joey wrote:I think Duty has a connection to the West Indies... maybe his Mum? Anyway, he'll probably tell me I'm dreaming but I do remember him saying something about it once.

Very good, yes, my mother lives in the West Indies. She doesn't care for cricket, though.

Does she like reggae? Or Jamaica?

Reggae *and* Jamaica, unbelievably enough.

Duty281 wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Duty281 wrote:

Pal Joey wrote:I think Duty has a connection to the West Indies... maybe his Mum? Anyway, he'll probably tell me I'm dreaming but I do remember him saying something about it once.

Very good, yes, my mother lives in the West Indies. She doesn't care for cricket, though.

Does she live in Barbados? Does she fancy meeting up for a rum and maybe a swim? First two weeks in August.

I think she'll find me a very pleasant person to be around.

I can't pass on your request as I don't like the idea of you being my stepfather, sorry x

There are worse people on 606v2 to be your stepfather.

None immediately spring to mind but if I put some thought into it.

Duty281 wrote:

JuliusHMarx wrote:

Duty281 wrote:

Pal Joey wrote:I think Duty has a connection to the West Indies... maybe his Mum? Anyway, he'll probably tell me I'm dreaming but I do remember him saying something about it once.

Very good, yes, my mother lives in the West Indies. She doesn't care for cricket, though.

Does she like reggae? Or Jamaica?

Reggae *and* Jamaica, unbelievably enough.

So are the Windies your second cricket team so to speak? Or no connection whatsoever?
I hope you get a chance to visit your Mum soon. You probably need a break too... like the rest of us.
I need to get over to NZ to see my uncle and cousins. Jacinda is apparently allowing us back into the country quarantine free now.

Pal Joey wrote:
I need to get over to NZ to see my uncle and cousins. Jacinda is apparently allowing us back into the country quarantine free now.

I'm still waiting for you to visit the Home Counties. I promised you I'd take you to the pub where the US 398th Bomber Group were based in WWII.

Went there the other week for Sunday lunch. Lovely place.

Duty281 wrote:

JuliusHMarx wrote:

Duty281 wrote:

Pal Joey wrote:I think Duty has a connection to the West Indies... maybe his Mum? Anyway, he'll probably tell me I'm dreaming but I do remember him saying something about it once.

Very good, yes, my mother lives in the West Indies. She doesn't care for cricket, though.

Does she like reggae? Or Jamaica?

Reggae *and* Jamaica, unbelievably enough.

I love it.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Pal Joey wrote:
I need to get over to NZ to see my uncle and cousins. Jacinda is apparently allowing us back into the country quarantine free now.

I'm still waiting for you to visit the Home Counties. I promised you I'd take you to the pub where the US 398th Bomber Group were based in WWII.

Went there the other week for Sunday lunch. Lovely place.

I dream about returning to the UK, Tino. You know, it's very different for me not living there. I have a sort of romantic memory of the place.

I have the occasional vivid dream about being there too. A recent one (we must have been talking about pubs on here at the height of covid... or maybe it was after watching "Harry Brown") and I was going through the doors of this lovely pub when this nice woman gave me a plastic envelope with some documents and a stamp (like those yum cha ones) to do with covid certification I presume (of all things). So I was "all set" apparently. I was thinking how organised you all are! The place was bustling with people. Can't remember much more but I think there were more happy people there at the time... rather than murderers and swindlers. I'll definitely let you know if I make my way over again.

Pal Joey wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Pal Joey wrote:
I need to get over to NZ to see my uncle and cousins. Jacinda is apparently allowing us back into the country quarantine free now.

I'm still waiting for you to visit the Home Counties. I promised you I'd take you to the pub where the US 398th Bomber Group were based in WWII.

Went there the other week for Sunday lunch. Lovely place.

I dream about returning to the UK, Tino. You know, it's very different for me not living there. I have a sort of romantic memory of the place.

I have the occasional vivid dream about being there too. A recent one (we must have been talking about pubs on here at the height of covid... or maybe it was after watching "Harry Brown") and I was going through the doors of this lovely pub when this nice woman gave me a plastic envelope with some documents and a stamp (like those yum cha ones) to do with covid certification I presume (of all things). So I was "all set" apparently. I was thinking how organised you all are! The place was bustling with people. Can't remember much more but I think there were more happy people there at the time... rather than murderers and swindlers. I'll definitely let you know if I make my way over again.

If you're coming over in the second half of May I can offer you a flat to stay in*, if you're prepared to look after an unhinged mini-panther adorable little cat.

Fist.


* depending on PCR test results.

Galted, you are aware there is a certain etiquette when it comes to being a Stalkerish Little W*nker?

Right now, you are very close to breaching that etiquette.

If PJ can pass himself off as a Ukrainian refugee, there's a good opportunity for Galted to get some cash from the government.

JuliusHMarx wrote:If PJ can pass himself off as a Ukrainian refugee, there's a good opportunity for Galted to get some cash from the government.

I wonder if that is why super_insecure has disappeared again? Too busy getting his house ready for a Ukrainian refugee. Frantically searching for the box you can tick to ensure they are not fat.

Thanks for your offer, Galted. The mini panther sounds like a challenge. It's unlikely I'd be there this May though.

Jules, I'll just sew a Ukrainian flag on my jacket and get the same tattooed on my forehead... see if that works. It's a good initiative I think... 350 quid to house a refugee. That's per week, yes?

Tino, did you hear about the 3-year old that got mauled by a kangaroo? Quite scary. They can be absolute bastardes when they turn aggressive. Hope the kid recovers.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:Galted, you are aware there is a certain etiquette when it comes to being a Stalkerish Little W*nker?

Right now, you are very close to breaching that etiquette.

A trans-continental stalking is beyond my arsedness, will be much easier to lure him over here.

Pal Joey wrote:

Tino, did you hear about the 3-year old that got mauled by a kangaroo? Quite scary. They can be absolute bastardes when they turn aggressive. Hope the kid recovers.

Jesus. Just when you think Australia can't get any more dangerous, the bloody roos start attacking babies.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Pal Joey wrote:

Tino, did you hear about the 3-year old that got mauled by a kangaroo? Quite scary. They can be absolute bastardes when they turn aggressive. Hope the kid recovers.

Jesus. Just when you think Australia can't get any more dangerous, the bloody roos start attacking babies.

That's vaguely acceptable, they are mean creatures. If koalas started attacking babies it would be a cause for concern.

Many years ago we had an unfriendly male black cat. It always seemed angry and would scratch anyone who tried to pet him. Gave my Hungarian grandma a nasty scratch on the hand once I recall. She was always giving it the best off-cuts of meat so I don't understand why their relationship wasn't better. For some inexplicable reason the male cat was called Samantha but Gran called him Manta... so we just used that name as well.

Towards the end of one hot summer there was no sign of Manta. A few days passed... still no Manta. I'd just mown the front lawn and was pushing the mower up the path along the side of the house when a piece of fluff caught my eye. Dad happened to pass by just at that time and said in a very calm manner: "Tom, grab the shovel.." We then both noticed there was a bad aroma coming from under that part of the house in the heat of that day.

We can't be 100% sure but it seemed Manta got into a duel with either another cat (unlikely since there weren't that many dominant males nearby) but more probably a feisty ring-tailed possum. They can be vicious creatures. Razor sharp claws. They were always jumping from the jacaranda tree (right near where this fluff was found) and onto the metal roof. You'd hear large heavy thuds a night and then the usual horrible wheezing sounds as they were doing whatever possums do during the night.

Anyway, to put it simply... Manta had basically been slashed across the throat. Can still see the line of the cut almost from right shoulder to up under the left jaw. As Dad eased the shovel under him bits of Manta fell away and hundreds of juicy maggots poured out. "Oh!" said Dad in an understated way. I was pretty shocked and surprised too. He did the usual thing. Waited for a short break in the Saturday morning traffic (not so busy back then) crossed the road (we lived opposite where the large area of bushland started) and hurled the corpse down into the scrubby area. It would have been devoured by whatever inhabits that area by nightfall or early the next day I reckon. Nature is always best suited for cleaning up all evidence of such viscous crimes.

Great anecdote Peej, ruined only by the use of the word 'viscous' rather than 'vicious' at the end.

JuliusHMarx wrote:Great anecdote Peej, ruined only by the use of the word 'viscous' rather than 'vicious' at the end.

I'd say that's negated by the excellent use of the name 'Samantha' for a male cat. It's an anecdote on its own.

Galted wrote:

JuliusHMarx wrote:Great anecdote Peej, ruined only by the use of the word 'viscous' rather than 'vicious' at the end.

I'd say that's negated by the excellent use of the name 'Samantha' for a male cat. It's an anecdote on its own.

Also, I would imagine Samantha's remains were quite viscose viscous at the end.

Yeah, as viscous as baked beans rolling off your plate. I note I got vicious right the first time I. You see, spellcheck has a secondary benefit after all!

I'll save viscose for another thread, Jules.

Pal Joey wrote:Yeah, as viscous as baked beans rolling off your plate. I note I got vicious right the first time I. You see, spellcheck has a secondary benefit after all!

I'll save viscose for another thread, Jules.

By all means - don't let me rayon on your parade.

Just a post equinox fist.

Slow monday siconds

Tird.

Sh*t on here this week.

Galted wrote:Tird.

Sh*t on here this week.

Absolute sh1te.
I'll be up t'North tomorrow in the wilderness of Sheffield. Hopefully I'll be OK as long as I just say 'Ayup lad' a lot.

JuliusHMarx wrote:

Galted wrote:Tird.

Sh*t on here this week.

Absolute sh1te.
I'll be up t'North tomorrow in the wilderness of Sheffield. Hopefully I'll be OK as long as I just say 'Ayup lad' a lot.

I think Tuesday's the day they collect corpses in the wagon so try not to pass out in the street if you drink too much mead.

Galted wrote:

JuliusHMarx wrote:

Galted wrote:Tird.

Sh*t on here this week.

Absolute sh1te.
I'll be up t'North tomorrow in the wilderness of Sheffield. Hopefully I'll be OK as long as I just say 'Ayup lad' a lot.

I think Tuesday's the day they collect corpses in the wagon so try not to pass out in the street if you drink too much mead.

Thanks Galted. I may also be in Sheffield Wednesday.

Galted wrote:

JuliusHMarx wrote:

Galted wrote:Tird.

Sh*t on here this week.

Absolute sh1te.
I'll be up t'North tomorrow in the wilderness of Sheffield. Hopefully I'll be OK as long as I just say 'Ayup lad' a lot.

I think Tuesday's the day they collect corpses in the wagon so try not to pass out in the street if you drink too much mead.

That is Thursday you c*nt.

Tuesday is bath day.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Galted wrote:

JuliusHMarx wrote:

Galted wrote:Tird.

Sh*t on here this week.

Absolute sh1te.
I'll be up t'North tomorrow in the wilderness of Sheffield. Hopefully I'll be OK as long as I just say 'Ayup lad' a lot.

I think Tuesday's the day they collect corpses in the wagon so try not to pass out in the street if you drink too much mead.

That is Thursday you c*nt.

Tuesday is bath day.

Thought bath day was the first full moon in t'summer.

Sheffield only Just counts as North, and they don't bathe.

Fist.

Sicond.

Is crossing a stream on horseback in a suit of armour counted as a bath?

How are you going rIck?

Why not I guess, peej.

Going well mate, really skewed hours at the moment due to doing work for various parts of the world but barring that all good. I have some colleagues in the Ukraine who have to keep dropping from calls a sirens are going off, so kind of puts things in perspective a wee bit.

How goes the antipodes?

rIck_dAgless wrote:Sheffield only Just counts as North

Don't start, riCK. Just don't.

rIck_dAgless wrote:Why not I guess, peej.

Going well mate, really skewed hours at the moment due to doing work for various parts of the world but barring that all good.  I have some colleagues in the Ukraine who have to keep dropping from calls a sirens are going off, so kind of puts things in perspective a wee bit.

How goes the antipodes?

Pretty good here being so far away from it physically... but it's obviously dominating the news and there are large Ukrainian and Russian communities here. Lots of other things going on locally too, so to me it amounts to a big shift away from the covid times to a frightening new war dynamic with these horrific realities being brought to our senses. I guess we can see it as some sort of wake up call. It must be horrible for your colleagues to have to try and live through it all with the Russians forming several encirclements. Most of us in the West don't fully understand how barbaric war in that part of the world is.

They are unbelievably chill about it. The company I work for is American, so all the colleagues are big on the thoughts and prayers vibe, where as the UK guys are more "Are you OK? cool2 right down to work" which I think they prefer as the work is adding a sliver or normality in that sh!t show.

It helps that they are in Lyiv which is away from the action but they look absolutely knackered.

In the latest of my excellent Galted Tours London, the South East and Elsewhere series, I explored the Horniman Museum, Aquarium and Gardens in South London.

The name itself is tremendously funny.  To me ‘Horniman’ sounds a lot like ‘horny man’, which could cause all sorts of misunderstanding and hilarity.
The collection itself is varied and comprehensive - I saw a stuffed walrus, all manner of musical instrument and a large clock with space to store trinkets.  The aquarium is not very big, but the fish looked content and healthy so no criticisms in that respect.  One shortcoming was that the windows to the tanks tended to be on the same side so I was unable to observe visiting children and their mothers through the displays.  While on the subject of visitors, the make-up was quite diverse.  Negro families mixed freely with indigenous peoples with little evidence of animosity or ethnic violence.  There was an Indian chap in the gardens who spoke with the most delightful accent, I watched and listened for a good long time and had many a chuckle at his pronunciations, though he did grow quite comically distressed when I repeatedly screamed 'birdy num-nums' at his face.
Cost-wise I found the whole experience most reasonable for London, just £9 for a family of three.  I say for London, I’m sure up north one could buy an entire porbeagle and tank in which to house it for a similar amount of money.  I didn’t visit the canteen so was unable to try the chips but, if I had, I’m sure I would have found them mediocre yet expensive, as that is the way with chips.

All in all, I’d recommend it for those living locally, but not those travelling from further afield.

Galted wrote:In the latest of my excellent Galted Tours London, the South East and Elsewhere series, I explored the Horniman Museum, Aquarium and Gardens in South London.

The name itself is tremendously funny.  To me ‘Horniman’ sounds a lot like ‘horny man’, which could cause all sorts of misunderstanding and hilarity.
The collection itself is varied and comprehensive - I saw a stuffed walrus, all manner of musical instrument and a large clock with space to store trinkets.  The aquarium is not very big, but the fish looked content and healthy so no criticisms in that respect.  One shortcoming was that the windows to the tanks tended to be on the same side so I was unable to observe visiting children and their mothers through the displays.  While on the subject of visitors, the make-up was quite diverse.  Negro families mixed freely with indigenous peoples with little evidence of animosity or ethnic violence.  There was an Indian chap in the gardens who spoke with the most delightful accent, I watched and listened for a good long time and had many a chuckle at his pronunciations, though he did grow quite comically distressed when I repeatedly screamed 'birdy num-nums' at his face.
Cost-wise I found the whole experience most reasonable for London, just £9 for a family of three.  I say for London, I’m sure up north one could buy an entire porbeagle and tank in which to house it for a similar amount of money.  I didn’t visit the canteen so was unable to try the chips but, if I had, I’m sure I would have found them mediocre yet expensive, as that is the way with chips.

All in all, I’d recommend it for those living locally, but not those travelling from further afield.

Great stuff, Galted. Sparking life into this moribund thread. I particularly liked the layers of detail you've gone into, although I was slightly alarmed by the observation of visiting children. I'm sure it is innocent but does sound a bit noncey.

I myself am heading into the city this weekend. I'm going to see the Titanic exhibition with some of the kids. 3 of them in fact. Mrs Windows is away so I foolishly agreed to go, but it is only now I realise how far away it is. South of the f*cking river! I hate London as it is, but if I have to go back, I really don't want to be going Sarf.

I'll report back next week assuming I don't die. I did survive many years as a commuter but that was before I let myself go a bit. I look like a tramp these days. Or at best, Catweazle. So walking along with 3 children in London could get me arrested and/or killed by a vigilante mob.

Hopefully the chips are good though.

I was disappointed by the lack of description of what kind of jacket and footwear Galted was sporting. I assume it was some kind of horrific Jack Wolfskin / Hi-Tec combo car crash, but the not knowing is worse than the knowing.

superflyweight wrote:I was disappointed by the lack of description of what kind of jacket and footwear Galted was sporting.  I assume it was some kind of horrific Jack Wolfskin / Hi-Tec combo car crash, but the not knowing is worse than the knowing.  

He has made a concerted effort not to talk about his dress sense these days. Almost like he is hiding something.

Which I find strange since he has admitted to both being noshed off by a tramp and falling off a prozzie with a semi on (Galted, not the prozzie).

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

superflyweight wrote:I was disappointed by the lack of description of what kind of jacket and footwear Galted was sporting.  I assume it was some kind of horrific Jack Wolfskin / Hi-Tec combo car crash, but the not knowing is worse than the knowing.  

He has made a concerted effort not to talk about his dress sense these days. Almost like he is hiding something.

Which I find strange since he has admitted to both being noshed off by a tramp and falling off a prozzie with a semi on (Galted, not the prozzie).

Maybe Galted is the Naked Rambler? He fits the profile.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Galted wrote:In the latest of my excellent Galted Tours London, the South East and Elsewhere series, I explored the Horniman Museum, Aquarium and Gardens in South London.

The name itself is tremendously funny.  To me ‘Horniman’ sounds a lot like ‘horny man’, which could cause all sorts of misunderstanding and hilarity.
The collection itself is varied and comprehensive - I saw a stuffed walrus, all manner of musical instrument and a large clock with space to store trinkets.  The aquarium is not very big, but the fish looked content and healthy so no criticisms in that respect.  One shortcoming was that the windows to the tanks tended to be on the same side so I was unable to observe visiting children and their mothers through the displays.  While on the subject of visitors, the make-up was quite diverse.  Negro families mixed freely with indigenous peoples with little evidence of animosity or ethnic violence.  There was an Indian chap in the gardens who spoke with the most delightful accent, I watched and listened for a good long time and had many a chuckle at his pronunciations, though he did grow quite comically distressed when I repeatedly screamed 'birdy num-nums' at his face.
Cost-wise I found the whole experience most reasonable for London, just £9 for a family of three.  I say for London, I’m sure up north one could buy an entire porbeagle and tank in which to house it for a similar amount of money.  I didn’t visit the canteen so was unable to try the chips but, if I had, I’m sure I would have found them mediocre yet expensive, as that is the way with chips.

All in all, I’d recommend it for those living locally, but not those travelling from further afield.

Great stuff, Galted. Sparking life into this moribund thread. I particularly liked the layers of detail you've gone into, although I was slightly alarmed by the observation of visiting children. I'm sure it is innocent but does sound a bit noncey.

I myself am heading into the city this weekend. I'm going to see the Titanic exhibition with some of the kids. 3 of them in fact. Mrs Windows is away so I foolishly agreed to go, but it is only now I realise how far away it is. South of the f*cking river! I hate London as it is, but if I have to go back, I really don't want to be going Sarf.

I'll report back next week assuming I don't die. I did survive many years as a commuter but that was before I let myself go a bit. I look like a tramp these days. Or at best, Catweazle. So walking along with 3 children in London could get me arrested and/or killed by a vigilante mob.

Hopefully the chips are good though.

Cheers, Tino.

I do observe children these days so that I'm aware of how lacking my own offspring is when it comes to social skills and the ability to hear the word 'no' without flying into a floor shattering tantrum.  I like to observe their mothers too as this makes my c*ck tumescent.

I'm quite keen on the Titanic exhibition though the organisers did seem a bit cagey on revealing the whereabouts.  Probably because they've heard accounts of my own offspring (see above) on his many visits to the National Maritime Museum and his refusal to obey any suggestions that he keep off the exhibits.

superflyweight wrote:I was disappointed by the lack of description of what kind of jacket and footwear Galted was sporting.  I assume it was some kind of horrific Jack Wolfskin / Hi-Tec combo car crash, but the not knowing is worse than the knowing.  

These days I wear the jacket my father-in-law bought me the last time I was in the States, I'm not sure of the brand.  It's way too warm for this weather but my father-in-law reminds me a lot of Don Corleone and I don't really fancy waking up to an animal's head next to me (all jokes about Galtova aside).

Footwear takes the form of a pair of Rockports, a brand which my mother-in-law supplies me about twice a year.  They are quite practical yet stylish although the soles do wear smooth quite quickly which makes walking when it's raining quite treacherous.  I assume it doesn't ever rain in Texas which would make this less of a problem there.

As we're approaching summer, any future outings will involve me wearing a T-shirt, the jacket mentioned above, cargo shorts and sandals.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
Which I find strange since he has admitted to both being noshed off by a tramp and falling off a prozzie with a semi on (Galted, not the prozzie).

I'm getting f*cking tired of correcting people with regards to this.  I had lost my semi by the time I disembarked the prozzie, a fact which she pointed out to me and led to the cessation of relations between us.

Galted wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Galted wrote:In the latest of my excellent Galted Tours London, the South East and Elsewhere series, I explored the Horniman Museum, Aquarium and Gardens in South London.

The name itself is tremendously funny.  To me ‘Horniman’ sounds a lot like ‘horny man’, which could cause all sorts of misunderstanding and hilarity.
The collection itself is varied and comprehensive - I saw a stuffed walrus, all manner of musical instrument and a large clock with space to store trinkets.  The aquarium is not very big, but the fish looked content and healthy so no criticisms in that respect.  One shortcoming was that the windows to the tanks tended to be on the same side so I was unable to observe visiting children and their mothers through the displays.  While on the subject of visitors, the make-up was quite diverse.  Negro families mixed freely with indigenous peoples with little evidence of animosity or ethnic violence.  There was an Indian chap in the gardens who spoke with the most delightful accent, I watched and listened for a good long time and had many a chuckle at his pronunciations, though he did grow quite comically distressed when I repeatedly screamed 'birdy num-nums' at his face.
Cost-wise I found the whole experience most reasonable for London, just £9 for a family of three.  I say for London, I’m sure up north one could buy an entire porbeagle and tank in which to house it for a similar amount of money.  I didn’t visit the canteen so was unable to try the chips but, if I had, I’m sure I would have found them mediocre yet expensive, as that is the way with chips.

All in all, I’d recommend it for those living locally, but not those travelling from further afield.

Great stuff, Galted. Sparking life into this moribund thread. I particularly liked the layers of detail you've gone into, although I was slightly alarmed by the observation of visiting children. I'm sure it is innocent but does sound a bit noncey.

I myself am heading into the city this weekend. I'm going to see the Titanic exhibition with some of the kids. 3 of them in fact. Mrs Windows is away so I foolishly agreed to go, but it is only now I realise how far away it is. South of the f*cking river! I hate London as it is, but if I have to go back, I really don't want to be going Sarf.

I'll report back next week assuming I don't die. I did survive many years as a commuter but that was before I let myself go a bit. I look like a tramp these days. Or at best, Catweazle. So walking along with 3 children in London could get me arrested and/or killed by a vigilante mob.

Hopefully the chips are good though.

Cheers, Tino.

I do observe children these days so that I'm aware of how lacking my own offspring is when it comes to social skills and the ability to hear the word 'no' without flying into a floor shattering tantrum.  I like to observe their mothers too as this makes my c*ck tumescent.

I'm quite keen on the Titanic exhibition though the organisers did seem a bit cagey on revealing the whereabouts.  Probably because they've heard accounts of my own offspring (see above) on his many visits to the National Maritime Museum and his refusal to obey any suggestions that he keep off the exhibits.

Absolutely delightful use of 'tumescent', Galted. Wonderful stuff.

Jules would be massively proud had he not died recently.

Galted wrote:

superflyweight wrote:I was disappointed by the lack of description of what kind of jacket and footwear Galted was sporting.  I assume it was some kind of horrific Jack Wolfskin / Hi-Tec combo car crash, but the not knowing is worse than the knowing.  

These days I wear the jacket my father-in-law bought me the last time I was in the States, I'm not sure of the brand.  It's way too warm for this weather but my father-in-law reminds me a lot of Don Corleone and I don't really fancy waking up to an animal's head next to me (all jokes about Galtova aside).

Footwear takes the form of a pair of Rockports, a brand which my mother-in-law supplies me about twice a year.  They are quite practical yet stylish although the soles do wear smooth quite quickly which makes walking when it's raining quite treacherous.  I assume it doesn't ever rain in Texas which would make this less of a problem there.

As we're approaching summer, any future outings will involve me wearing a T-shirt, the jacket mentioned above, cargo shorts and sandals.

Why are your in-laws feeling the need to buy you clothes and why is it that you are wearing those clothes exclusively? Are there no jumble sales in Greenwich where you can pick up something better?

superflyweight wrote:

Galted wrote:

superflyweight wrote:I was disappointed by the lack of description of what kind of jacket and footwear Galted was sporting.  I assume it was some kind of horrific Jack Wolfskin / Hi-Tec combo car crash, but the not knowing is worse than the knowing.  

These days I wear the jacket my father-in-law bought me the last time I was in the States, I'm not sure of the brand.  It's way too warm for this weather but my father-in-law reminds me a lot of Don Corleone and I don't really fancy waking up to an animal's head next to me (all jokes about Galtova aside).

Footwear takes the form of a pair of Rockports, a brand which my mother-in-law supplies me about twice a year.  They are quite practical yet stylish although the soles do wear smooth quite quickly which makes walking when it's raining quite treacherous.  I assume it doesn't ever rain in Texas which would make this less of a problem there.

As we're approaching summer, any future outings will involve me wearing a T-shirt, the jacket mentioned above, cargo shorts and sandals.

Why are your in-laws feeling the need to buy you clothes and why is it that you are wearing those clothes exclusively?  Are there no jumble sales in Greenwich where you can pick up something better?  

To make up for a lack of effort on Galtova's part.

Because I fear them.

No.