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6. 5. Civic

superflyweight wrote:It's been very homo-erotic on here today.  

I suggest that from tomorrow all talk should be strictly golf related and that you return to discussing the relative stiffness of each others' shafts, comparing grip styles, how often you've shaved the hole from only 2 feet away, problems with tugging and smoothness of stroke.  

Went for childish innuendo for number 8000. In keeping with the vast majority of the previous 7,999.

superflyweight wrote:

superflyweight wrote:It's been very homo-erotic on here today.  

I suggest that from tomorrow all talk should be strictly golf related and that you return to discussing the relative stiffness of each others' shafts, comparing grip styles, how often you've shaved the hole from only 2 feet away, problems with tugging and smoothness of stroke.  

Went for childish innuendo for number 8000.  In keeping with the vast majority of the previous 7,999.  

F*cking wasted on that lot.

I am not unmichaelsing Galted after he refused to do the same for me t'other day.

Not a f*cking chance.

Fine, I'm perfectly capable of unmichaelsing myself.

Galted wrote:Fine, I'm perfectly capable of unmichaelsing myself.

So am I.

Pal Joey wrote:

Galted wrote:Fine, I'm perfectly capable of unmichaelsing myself.

So am I.

I'm not.

Afternoon, all, have we all got the old "Statey Funes" off?

rIck_dAgless wrote:Afternoon, all, have we all got the old "Statey Funes" off?

I'm giving myself the day off, riCK. You off?

I was hoping for an influx of inquiries. Deaths are a good revenue stream for us. You'd think this would be boom time but it's all happening too quick. Selfish of them.

Yes, mate I'm off, long weekend is just the ticket.

Fingers crossed for more deaths for you then, but in a more manageable timeframe.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

rIck_dAgless wrote:Afternoon, all, have we all got the old "Statey Funes" off?

I'm giving myself the day off, riCK. You off?

I was hoping for an influx of inquiries. Deaths are a good revenue stream for us. You'd think this would be boom time but it's all happening too quick. Selfish of them.

It's probably a bit late now but this might have been a good time to get into biodegradable wrappings for flowers instead of all that nasty plastic.

Sort of like a lacy material you use for wedding dresses but biodegradable... or even edible. Pastel fruit flavours, etc... or your standard traditional white (vanilla) laced with vitamins or some energy-boosting chemicals. Maybe even feed it (dry kale lace) to the horses after all their hard work.

Only one suggestion.

The other was biodegradable wrist bands or edible ones for the pigeons - made out of modified oatmeal (with molecular bonding which breaks down after 8-12 hours or so) and which disintegrates in the rain.

That was my palindrome for you.

Pee Jay has been on the acid again I see.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:Pee Jay has been on the acid again I see.

l*l  

Perhaps this coffee is a bit too strong.

I'm pretty sure people are already onto it. Just need the Royal tick of approval (date not required) to roll them out for the next big gig.

Queue the self-unmichaelsing fist.

Pal Joey wrote:Queue the self-unmichaelsing fist.

I was hoping to be the fister today, Pee Jay. But you've beaten me too it and become the fistee.

Our delivery driver has called in sick so I'm out on the road, hence the early start. Proper f*cking working class hero stuff.

I'm looking forward to the M25 later. Hope I can get a parking space.

How is the land of outrageous danger?

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Pal Joey wrote:Queue the self-unmichaelsing fist.

I was hoping to be the fister today, Pee Jay. But you've beaten me too it and become the fistee.

Our delivery driver has called in sick so I'm out on the road, hence the early start. Proper f*cking working class hero stuff.

I'm looking forward to the M25 later. Hope I can get a parking space.  

How is the land of outrageous danger?

Pretty wet right now but apparently it will clear up tomorrow.

Going into town in the morning to meet Mum and sign the condolence book at St Andrew's (no relation) and the other one at the Capitol Theatre for Jules.

Tino, thought I heard some guy got murdered by his pet roo in WA. Did you see that on the news?

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Pal Joey wrote:Queue the self-unmichaelsing fist.

I was hoping to be the fister today, Pee Jay. But you've beaten me too it and become the fistee.

Our delivery driver has called in sick so I'm out on the road, hence the early start. Proper f*cking working class hero stuff.

I'm looking forward to the M25 later. Hope I can get a parking space.  

How is the land of outrageous danger?

You should've gathered all the offcuts into a tatty suitcase and driven your van down to central London. Plenty of people getting soaked queueing up to view her majesty's coffin who would've been grateful for a bit of dry cloth.

Pal Joey wrote:
Tino, thought I heard some guy got murdered by his pet roo in WA. Did you see that on the news?

Saw the headline, which inspired me to visit Youtube to watch that Aussie clumping the kangaroo which had his dog in a headlock.

A farmer near where my brother worked many years ago was killed by a pet duiker (a duiker is a small, innocuous looking antelope though I would expect you and Tino would know this, being men of the world).  The animal playfully butted the back of his leg and a horn (which I know from experience are f*cking sharp and f*cking hard) severed an artery and the poor bugger bled to death.

Galted wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Pal Joey wrote:Queue the self-unmichaelsing fist.

I was hoping to be the fister today, Pee Jay. But you've beaten me too it and become the fistee.

Our delivery driver has called in sick so I'm out on the road, hence the early start. Proper f*cking working class hero stuff.

I'm looking forward to the M25 later. Hope I can get a parking space.  

How is the land of outrageous danger?

You should've gathered all the offcuts into a tatty suitcase and driven your van down to central London.  Plenty of people getting soaked queueing up to view her majesty's coffin who would've been grateful for a bit of dry cloth.

We do produce funeral attire but I'm delivering wedding and bridesmaid dresses and some table favours today. Would be pretty funny to offer out some lovely white offcuts to a bunch of soaking wet mourners.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Galted wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Pal Joey wrote:Queue the self-unmichaelsing fist.

I was hoping to be the fister today, Pee Jay. But you've beaten me too it and become the fistee.

Our delivery driver has called in sick so I'm out on the road, hence the early start. Proper f*cking working class hero stuff.

I'm looking forward to the M25 later. Hope I can get a parking space.  

How is the land of outrageous danger?

You should've gathered all the offcuts into a tatty suitcase and driven your van down to central London.  Plenty of people getting soaked queueing up to view her majesty's coffin who would've been grateful for a bit of dry cloth.

We do produce funeral attire but I'm delivering wedding and bridesmaid dresses and some table favours today. Would be pretty funny to offer out some lovely white offcuts to a bunch of soaking wet mourners.  

Not if they were edible.

Don't think too many people are adopting an appropriate dress code.

At some stage the end of the queue is going to be significantly closer to our flat than to the coffin. Think I might go and pay my respects to the mourners.

Good afternoon, all, what's new?

rIck_dAgless wrote:Good afternoon, all, what's new?

The news.

JuliusHMarx wrote:

rIck_dAgless wrote:Good afternoon, all, what's new?

The news.

That hasn't changed since last Thursday.

rIck_dAgless wrote:Good afternoon, all, what's new?

Galted made an amusing post.

JuliusHMarx wrote:

rIck_dAgless wrote:Good afternoon, all, what's new?

Galted made an amusing post.

Callous.

JuliusHMarx wrote:

rIck_dAgless wrote:Good afternoon, all, what's new?

Galted made an amusing post.

l*l out loud.

Covid may have killed you, Jules, but it hasn't dulled that razor sharp wit.

The queue to get to the Palace of Westminster is now 14 hours. How gutted are they going to be when they discover that you don't even get to see the corpse?

Galted wrote:The queue to get to the Palace of Westminster is now 14 hours. How gutted are they going to be when they discover that you don't even get to see the corpse?

Do you reckon Serial is in the queue? I can picture him being in there and really kicking off with one of the Royal Household Guard when he realises what you've just pointed out?

Strong chance Shah is there with an IED in his KFC family bucket.

Galted wrote:The queue to get to the Palace of Westminster is now 14 hours. How gutted are they going to be when they discover that you don't even get to see the corpse?

Yeah, but the gift shop on the way out is worth it.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Galted wrote:The queue to get to the Palace of Westminster is now 14 hours. How gutted are they going to be when they discover that you don't even get to see the corpse?

Do you reckon Serial is in the queue? I can picture him being in there and really kicking off with one of the Royal Household Guard when he realises what you've just pointed out?

Strong chance Shah is there with an IED in his KFC family bucket.

That's completely unfair. Shah wouldn't fork out for actual KFC and would have a bucket of something from Chicken Cottage or some other knock-off joint.

Breaking news on the BBC, the queue is too long so joining it has been paused.

Never thought a queue would defeat the British, must be all the foreigners f*cking things up.

Duty281 wrote:

Galted wrote:The queue to get to the Palace of Westminster is now 14 hours. How gutted are they going to be when they discover that you don't even get to see the corpse?

Yeah, but the gift shop on the way out is worth it.

l*l

superflyweight wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Galted wrote:The queue to get to the Palace of Westminster is now 14 hours. How gutted are they going to be when they discover that you don't even get to see the corpse?

Do you reckon Serial is in the queue? I can picture him being in there and really kicking off with one of the Royal Household Guard when he realises what you've just pointed out?

Strong chance Shah is there with an IED in his KFC family bucket.

That's completely unfair.  Shah wouldn't fork out for actual KFC and would have a bucket of something from Chicken Cottage or some other knock-off joint.  

Covered in larva as he can't find a chilli sauce hot enough. Washed down with a 2 litre bottle of Vimto.

Queue update.

There is a queue in Southwark Park waiting for entry to the official queue to resume so that it can join the official queue. The park has been closed and there is a queue outside of people trying to get in to join the queue waiting to join the official queue.

Additional update:

Some of the people in the queue waiting to join the queue for the queue have travelled hundreds of miles to be there.

Once they join the queue they have 11 hours of talking to the same strangers who will likely turn out to be massive c*nts to look forward to.

Hope their houses aren't being burgled while they queue.

Galted wrote:

Once they join the queue they have 11 hours of talking to the same strangers who will likely turn out to be massive c*nts to look forward to.

It reminds me of my sex life. Massive build up, only for 10 seconds of inevitable disappointment.

And my wife can also be a massive c*nt sometimes.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Galted wrote:

Once they join the queue they have 11 hours of talking to the same strangers who will likely turn out to be massive c*nts to look forward to.

It reminds me of my sex life. Massive build up, only for 10 seconds of inevitable disappointment.

And my wife can also be a massive c*nt sometimes.

Wondered where you were going with it after the first few words - thought your lust for old dears had turned to one for corpses with the passing of time.

Fist at rest.

That was a fine and glorious show you guys put on over the last few days. Very moving and I would be surprised if any of you don't have sore feet.
I had them (sore feet) just watching it all unfold.

I must wholeheartedly commend you all on the lengths you all went to - to ensure such a well-planned, dignified and right-Royal michaelsing.
I shall always remember that one.  Nobody could ever do a job as well as you guys did over the last few days. And long live the unmichaelsing fist!

Thanks, PJ.

It's not easy laying to rest someone who's always been there and become an integral part of your life, but who you don't really know, who's more of an icon than a person.

As beautiful as it all was, I think it's time now to draw the proverbial line and get on with our lives, it's what Julius would have wanted.

Thanks Galted, I'm touched.
But not in the way Tino touches you.

Galted wrote:Thanks, PJ.

It's not easy laying to rest someone who's always been there and become an integral part of your life, but who you don't really know, who's more of an icon than a person.

As beautiful as it all was, I think it's time now to draw the proverbial line and get on with our lives, it's what Julius would have wanted.

Totally agree, Galts. We must now move on... somehow.

I'm a bit worried about Emma though. She looked so sad.
The corgis slightly less so. They have a tendency to take things in their tiny strides and move on regardless of the scale of the setback.

Pretty big setback for the corgis, they're off to live with Prince Andrew.

Duty281 wrote:Pretty big setback for the corgis, they're off to live with Prince Andrew.

Perhaps they didn't know that yet when we saw them yesterday.

Unless the King told them... but yes, that's a fair point Duty.

JuliusHMarx wrote:Thanks Galted, I'm touched.
But not in the way Tino touches you.

That's ok. I enjoy being touched in different ways.

The golf board's a bit tedious now that they keep chatting about golf.

Galted wrote:The golf board's a bit tedious now that they keep chatting about golf.

Fire that comment about their lord and saviour Prince Andrew in. Should spice things up.

Pretty sure there's a meme floating about of him being spotted in Loch Ness as the Loch Ness Nonc** if something more direct is required.

Pal Joey wrote:

Duty281 wrote:Pretty big setback for the corgis, they're off to live with Prince Andrew.

Perhaps they didn't know that yet when we saw them yesterday.

Everybody's got to learn sometime.

JuliusHMarx wrote:

Pal Joey wrote:

Duty281 wrote:Pretty big setback for the corgis, they're off to live with Prince Andrew.

Perhaps they didn't know that yet when we saw them yesterday.

Everybody's got to learn sometime.

They don't need his lovin' like the sunshine.

Galted wrote:Thanks, PJ.

It's not easy laying to rest someone who's always been there and become an integral part of your life, but who you don't really know, who's more of an icon than a person.

As beautiful as it all was, I think it's time now to draw the proverbial line and get on with our lives, it's what Julius would have wanted.

l*l. That was funnier than people realise.

Tell you what we need, a queue update. How is it looking GDog?

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Galted wrote:Thanks, PJ.

It's not easy laying to rest someone who's always been there and become an integral part of your life, but who you don't really know, who's more of an icon than a person.

As beautiful as it all was, I think it's time now to draw the proverbial line and get on with our lives, it's what Julius would have wanted.

l*l. That was funnier than people realise.

Tell you what we need, a queue update. How is it looking GDog?

Cheers, Tino, was sure I could rely on you. Massive relief that not everyone now thinks I'm a shameless royalist.

We're back to smaller food bank queues now that there are no coffins knocking about, though I'm sure there'll be a train strike soon enough.