Music Section Morning Tea Society

First topic message reminder :

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

alfie wrote:nomenclature

Lovely stuff, alfie. Not a word we see often on here.

Reminds of the time Jeff used 'oeuvre' when describing some j*zz singer.

Although he was being deliberately pompous whereas I suspect yours is accidental pomposity.

F*ck off, Tino, can you not see that I'm already grooming alfie?

Fist and possibly last

Reminds me of those Peter Kay John Smith's ads.

Fist. Cracking on here this week.

I'm here Galted. Not sure if that ups the standards or not but at least I'm not dead.

That's a relief. Posting on your own is a bit like drinking on your own in public.

At least posting on your own you'll know that everyone reading it will appreciate it.

I'm sure people appreciate my forceful opinions on subjects I know nothing about when I've had a few.

I'm particularly fond of your cricket musings, Galted.

Athers can go f*ck himself when you're posting on the cricket threads.

Thanks, Tino. I used to own a Duncan Fearnley Attack so I know what I'm talking about.

A Duncan Fearnley. There's a name I haven't heard in a long time. No one has had a Duncan Fearnley since the 90's.

What a lovely anecdote.

I never hit a single boundary with it.

On less serious matters, am thinking of moving oop north where I'll likely be treated as a guru by the locals on account of my wisdom and reasonable knowledge of Microsoft Excel.

Where would you recommend, being from round that way yourself? Was thinking of Harrogate/Ripon, but had a jokey look at Runcorn and discovered the most expensive rental property there is below £1K.

I can recommend not moving to Runcorn. For 2 main reasons. Firstly it is sh*t. Secondly, it is a rough place and I would fully expect you to be killed within a month. I'm fond of you and don't want that.

Also, avoid Widnes (smells of death), Wigan (see Widnes), Sen Telens (talk weird. Even I can't understand them), Warrington (the women are all harder than the men and have beards) and all parts of Manchester, Salford and Liverpool.

Depends what you want really. Chester is a lovely city but won't be cheap, even by northern standards. Frodsham is a nice place. Weaverham is OK. RIck would probably tell you to avoid Northwich.

How minted are you? Guessing you don't earn a terrible salary in the City. Wilmslow and that area is pretty nice but expensive. And you might bump into Rio Ferdinand and no one deserves to meet that c*nt. Quite a few nice towns in Lancashire.

Why are you considering it out of interest? I'd love to go back but Mrs Windows would divorce me. Don't get me wrong, that has its appeal but I can't be arsed to start dating again.

Manchester and surrounding areas are OK, just a bit variable like in every city. We have been living on the edge of the Peak District for something like 10 years now, and it has felt more like home than anywhere else I have lived.

Don't listen to LiW, Galted. This is what happens. They tell you Manchester is 'OK'. You move there and next thing you know, you're getting whipped in the face with jump leads by my old mate Gav King.

Multiple l*ls out loud.

Not terribly minted as I work for a managed services company who are c*ntishly tight-fisted, but Galtova has a proper job so we wouldn't be looking at the cheapest option.  Would like to leave London as it's a bit sh*t for kids, not much to do once you pass the age of 8 apart from joining a gang.

No hurry yet, not really sure what we want so just looking for a few names and taking it from there - Chester, Frodsham and Weaverham will be next to get the Right Move treatment.  Knowing Galtova and my record for coming to agreements we'll have probably done f-all in five years time but sometimes we surprise ourselves.

I have just looked at a barn conversion in the Yorkshire Dales that doesn't allow pets, and the crime stats for Bentham include 'Voilent Crime' which sounds like it should be in Birmingham.

lostinwales wrote:Manchester and surrounding areas are OK, just a bit variable like in every city. We have been living on the edge of the Peak District for something like 10 years now, and it has felt more like home than anywhere else I have lived.

The Peak District is a possibility, would be good to move somewhere rural not least so we could see a blurry photo of our cat on the local news site setting off an 'is this a panther?' panic.

If you've got decent dual income and can work remotely, I would say Chester is a good bet. Although I am very fond of Frodsham. The Bears Paw is a great pub (Rick will confirm) but not sure if that is a solid enough reason on its own.

The people are generally nice in the North. Just don't order a lager shandy or express surprise when you meet one of us with a full set of teeth. Either of those are likely to see you get headbutted. And that is just the ladies.

Final word of warning. You'll be closer to Scotland.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:If you've got decent dual income and can work remotely, I would say Chester is a good bet. Although I am very fond of Frodsham. The Bears Paw is a great pub (Rick will confirm) but not sure if that is a solid enough reason on its own.

The people are generally nice in the North. Just don't order a lager shandy or express surprise when you meet one of us with a full set of teeth. Either of those are likely to see you get headbutted. And that is just the ladies.

L*l out loud.

Would be closer to Wales as well but those are just hardships we'll have to bear.    Probably not too much worse than shifting towards Devon/Cornwall or into the heart of Kent.  Harrogate is near to the Theakston's brewery so I might be able to order an Old Peculier if there are any pubs remaining.  It's been a dream of mine for about a year now.

Chesire looks promising.  I'd always assumed it was just footballers and gold thieves/wine bootleggers like yourself but seems there are proper towns and villages.  I currently work remotely but, the more of these places I see, the more I fancy becoming a blacksmith.

lostinwales wrote:Manchester and surrounding areas are OK, just a bit variable like in every city. We have been living on the edge of the Peak District for something like 10 years now, and it has felt more like home than anywhere else I have lived.

I've been here exactly 10 years tomorrow.

It was originally meant to be a 'social experiment' to see if I could survive the change of habitat, a higher density area and a more diverse culture.

Where I was before was a little boring and too much of a cosseted environment... but very green and leafy with an abundance of exotic wildlife.

Where I am now is quite noisy and a much more exposed environment... but less green and leafy with an abundance of exotic foreign cultures but not so much wildlife - of the animal kind. There's plenty of wild human animals though.

Where I was before; you could fall off a cliff and nobody would find you for a week... if ever.

Where I am now; you can trip over on the paving outside the shops, split your head open and people will just walk around you... and completely ignore you. Or take a video of your predicament on their phone. Luckily, this hasn't happened to me yet.

Where I was before; you'd occasionally hear a car exhaust backfire and the friendly neighbour mowing their lawn.

Where I am now; you often hear very noisy crackling and popping car exhausts, the odd gunshot, many more angry neighbours mowing their lawns (all at once) and people wailing in agony as if they're being tortured or violently murdered. And that's just the kids.

Where I was before it was 10 degrees cooler in summer, 5 degrees warmer in winter... but a bit more rain.

Where I am now it's 10 degrees hotter in summer, 5 degrees cooler in winter... but a bit less rain.

Thus far, the jury is still out on whether the social experiment has been a beneficial move but I'm definitely more tolerant and loud noises don't startle me as they used to.

Pal Joey wrote:

lostinwales wrote:Manchester and surrounding areas are OK, just a bit variable like in every city. We have been living on the edge of the Peak District for something like 10 years now, and it has felt more like home than anywhere else I have lived.

I've been here exactly 10 years tomorrow.

It was originally meant to be a 'social experiment' to see if I could survive the change of habitat, a higher density area and a more diverse culture.

Where I was before was a little boring and too much of a cosseted environment... but very green and leafy with an abundance of exotic wildlife.
Where I am now is quite noisy and a much more exposed environment... but less green and leafy with an abundance of exotic foreign cultures but not so much wildlife - of the animal kind. There's plenty of wild human animals though.

Where I was before; you could fall off a cliff and nobody would find you for a week... if ever.
Where I am now; you can trip over on the paving outside the shops, split your head open and people will just walk around you... and completely ignore you. Or take a video of your predicament on their phone. Luckily, this hasn't happened to me yet.

Where I was before; you'd occasionally hear a car exhaust backfire and the friendly neighbour mowing their lawn.
Where I am now; you often hear very noisy crackling and popping car exhausts, the odd gunshot, many more angry neighbours mowing their lawns (all at once) and people wailing in agony as if they're being tortured or violently murdered. And that's just the kids.

Thus far, the jury is still out on whether the social experiment has been a beneficial move but I'm definitely more tolerant and loud noises don't startle me as they used to.

You should be an estate agent.

l*l

I added the climatic variables to complete the picture for you, Galts.

L*l out loud but this is exactly the kind of wit that will get you beaten senseless.

At least you die being true to yourself. I'll respect that.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:L*l out loud but this is exactly the kind of wit that will get you beaten senseless.

At least you die being true to yourself. I'll respect that.

Well saved Tino!

Where you are sounds really nice. I imagine it to be flat and relatively peaceful and only a stone's throw from the bustle of the great metropolis.
Note: I still have a 'romantic' view on London but I know things have changed drastically (and dramatically) since I was last there.

After watching many TV shows I think I'd like to be in the south if I had a choice. Probably Kent, West Sussex or Surrey, then my next choice would be a bit further west around Hampshire.

The Norf scares me. I blame Happy Valley and Last Tango in Halifax for that. Although there are still some very nice areas (and people) from there too... I'd imagine. You and RiCk for starters.

But what do I really know about real life in the UK? Bugger all...

Pal Joey wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:L*l out loud but this is exactly the kind of wit that will get you beaten senseless.

At least you die being true to yourself. I'll respect that.

Well saved Tino!

Where you are sounds really nice. I imagine it to be flat and relatively peaceful and only a stone's throw from the bustle of the great metropolis.
Note: I still have a 'romantic' view on London but I know things have changed drastically (and dramatically) since I was last there.

After watching many TV shows I think I'd like to be in the south if I had a choice. Probably Kent, West Sussex or Surrey, then my next choice would be a bit further west around Hampshire.

The Norf scares me. I blame Happy Valley and Last Tango in Halifax for that. Although there are still some very nice areas (and people) from there too... I'd imagine. You and RiCk for starters.

But what do I really know about real life in the UK? Bugger all...

L*l. I made a complete micheals of the quote. Thought I'd got away with it but might have known you'd get me.

I don't mind it so much here. Flat and peaceful is certainly a good description. Cambridge and London are relatively near so it isn't all bad. I just miss the people in the Norf more than anything. They are just a good bunch of people in general. They'll have a chat with you in the Asda whereas down here, they look at you like you're about to mug them for their Bran Flakes.

We will end up in Canada at some point. Mrs Windows wants to live out our days there when the moment comes. I love the place but need to get my mind around the winter weather.

Galted wrote:...blacksmith.

Racist.

If I were a racist I'd have typed 'colouredsmith'.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:Final word of warning. You'll be closer to Scotland.

Final warning.

superflyweight wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:Final word of warning. You'll be closer to Scotland.

Final warning.  

Just helping a mate out. Can you imagine Galted walking into a pub in Scotland and asking for a lager and lime.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

superflyweight wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:Final word of warning. You'll be closer to Scotland.

Final warning.  

Just helping a mate out. Can you imagine Galted walking into a pub in Scotland and asking for a lager and lime.

Not without l*l'ing out loud.

A mate asked for a lager top once when I lived in one of the old mining villages around Durham, and the landlord told him to f**k off as they don't serve cocktails.

Completely warranted TBF.

I'll be alright, thanks for the tips. I'll more than likely wear one of my mid-90s Villa strips and demand as loudly as I can without shouting, 'oi, I'll 'ave a pint of Thwaite's, you daft northern c*nt'.
I know how to get on the right side of remote communities.

Ironically, calling a Man (or woman, sometimes hard to distinguish other than beard length) of the North a 'daft northern c*nt' wouldn't necessarily get you ironed out. Considered a compliment in many areas.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:Ironically, calling a Man (or woman, sometimes hard to distinguish other than beard length) of the North a 'daft northern c*nt' wouldn't necessarily get you ironed out. Considered a compliment in many areas.

L*l out loud. If that doesn't win them over I'll be sure to joke about unemployed coal miners and whippets.

Apparently The League of Gentlemen was shot not too far away from here. One house we looked at had been used in a TV series called Sunshine starring Steve Coogan, but I have never seen it.

Kids was a major incentive for getting out of London (Both boys were born in Lewisham). there are good schools but being close to them is a question of either luck or finances. The biggest problem was that we followed London by moving to Swansea. After 8 years of that I guess anywhere would seem like an improvement but I do genuinely like where we live

The League of Gentlemen has probably put me off the North without me realising.

Edward and Tubbs are considered quite the hotties in Runcorn and Widnes.

What's all this posting? We'll have no electronic communications here.

lostinwales wrote:Apparently The League of Gentlemen was shot not too far away from here. One house we looked at had been used in a TV series called Sunshine starring Steve Coogan, but I have never seen it.

You looked at it, but you never saw it.
It's philosophical musings like that, that make you one of my top 14 posters on this site.

JuliusHMarx wrote:

lostinwales wrote:Apparently The League of Gentlemen was shot not too far away from here. One house we looked at had been used in a TV series called Sunshine starring Steve Coogan, but I have never seen it.

You looked at it, but you never saw it.
It's philosophical musings like that, that make you one of my top 14 posters on this site.

Looked at the house, never saw the series, which just goes to show that I am in fact an unconscious philosopher.

And an unconscious michaeliser...

The Unconscious Michaelser would be a good name for a self-help book.

Not sure it would get through the censors as it starts with a Fist chapter.

Authored by Sicond Fraud

Michaels envy.

Fist.

Sicond.
At the office which means interaction with real people. Not sure if I can cope.

Tird.

Off to Molenbeek tomorrow to stay with a friend for the weekend.

If I get radicalised I'll find out what became of Shah.

Friday FIST!

Yesterday was a surprisingly good day, but hanging around with humans does get very tiring

lostinwales wrote:Friday FIST!

Yesterday was a surprisingly good day, but hanging around with humans does get very tiring

Good thing you're on here then.