Random Factor... Like A Tractor

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Random factor, like a tractor...
by luckless_pedestrian on Sat 28 May 2011, 5:06 pm

Hello. Following its roaring success on the old 606 (winner of six Luckies*) I thought I'd provide a space on 606v2 for you to post any irrelevant little things you fancy sharing.

I'll start: I've always had trouble with the line 'Love grows where my Rosemary goes.' If they'd chosen another name like Anne or Susan there'd be no problem, but rosemary's a herb so it could be 'Love goes where my rosemary grows.'

People are pheasants. Sometimes colourful - when they want a ride. But in reality - they are all drawers and no substantial, coloured - knickers.

'Fail to prepare, prepare to fail.'

What happens if you fail to prepare to fail? Do you succeed?

Well if you do absolutely nothing, you don't risk failing at something.

"sometimes I sits and thinks"

"Other times I just sits"

luckless_pedestrian wrote:'Fail to prepare, prepare to fail.'

What happens if you fail to prepare to fail? Do you succeed?

yes. it's a double negative.

there's an old story about a philosopher of language who was talking about how there are many languages where a double negative means a positive, but none where a double positive means a negative.

Someone in the audience yelled out 'yeah yeah'.

ahh gull "snifffff" gull...

gull oria GULL L O R I A

Adam and the Cormorants.

fi yw gobaith gull y clacwydd

Who put the 'wam' in the 'wam-a-lama-ding dong'?

I thought it was 'ram.' If it was, then the answer is that it was a shepherd.

'He's going to need some treatment on that...'
1991 RWC commentator on Marty Roebuck's cut eye.

I watched highlights of that match the other day, Linebreaker. John Taylor was the commentator here, but for you it would've been Gordon Bray I imagine. I've got a video of the Lions tour of Australia in 1989 and Gordon Bray's the commentator for all the matches. I remember him saying after a successful penalty in the NSW - Lions match, "that's more like it, Marty Roebuck!"

I remember that even though I haven't watched it for at least ten years.

Yes, Gordon Bray used to live up the road from me... he always used to dig up some obscure fact, e.g.

"and here comes Jean-Pierre Rives.... the sculptor from Toulouse..."

Since Monday morning it's been non-stop RWC QFs, SFs and Finals and that series "RWC The Greatest".

I've seen a few episodes of that on ESPN Classic, Linebreaker. I've already seen highlights of Fiji beating Wales in 2007 and Samoa beating Wales in 1991 and 1999...

"...what if they had to play all of Samoa? One day Wales were beaten by a passer by...and she hadn't been playing rugby long"

Max hasn't lost it.

Duck my sick.

They're working their way through each one... they've just had 1991 final.

NF-J holding the Cup aloft.

About 2-3 years ago, a young girl drove her car onto the other side of the road near my parents place. NF-J was coming the other way... he was very lucky. My Mum heard a screach and rushed down. Asked him if he needed anything... to make a call or a glass of water? He was sitting on the side of the road looking rather shaken for about 10 mins.

He was taught a lesson in West Wales scrum half play by Robert Jones in those '89 Lions tests though wasn't he. Ieuan Evans knocking the ball off Campo isn't shown half enough either.

That's another thing I remember from the Lions' 1989 tour: a Welsh fan holding up a sign that read 'Robert Jones is FARR superior.'

Those two really didn't get on in that Test series, did they?

Jeremy Guscott was my hero then. Bath were my least reviled English team, and it was boys own stuff.

That's the first Lions tour I ever watched and it was a great Test series. There looked to be no way back after the first Test.

Jeremy Guscott your hero? How many World Cups did he win?

Then, I said then. He fell out of favour once he stopped wearing the red shirt.

Once you cross that line.... you're OUT!

Look, when the Lions play the other nation's players become honorary Welshmen (as proven by the red shirts)

Like Taffy Beaumont in 1980.

And Erica Roe.

And Eric Liddell, immortalised in the film Chariots of Fire for doing the 100-yard dash with his clackers out.

And Austin Heally for being an harse.

Replay of 1999 QF1 begins in 5 mins.

Was Erica's appearance in the early 80's? She had a perfectly formed upper torso - that image is burnt onto my mammary....

Where are those girls next door who get them out nowadays.

They do it anywhere, everywhere these days... sort of devalues the art of Erica.

(nothing worse than tattoos there... would be kind of off-putting I reckon. Unless it was a map or something useful to look at...)

No they are the wannabe starlets, I mean the proper girls next door.

Oh I see. Yeah... where are they?
Those wannabe starlets are so unattractive in my eyes but each to their own I suppose.

Unattractive, yet entertaining.

Not really.... well for about 90 seconds only.

If that's how long it takes you.

Oral B is like a spelling bee but with a very different way of impressing the judges.

Is that like the oral exams we used to have at school?

P.s. Have you heard, Ken Clarke's penal system is broken. Ouch!

My favourite dessert is syrup sponge remanded in custardy.

Definitely better than having spotted-dick in custardy

Is it my tern again? What's she done now?

Fancy a bit of rollypolly now mind.

Or lemon meringue π.

Julia Gillard called Bob Brown into her office one day and said "Bob, I have a great idea! We are going to go all out to win the country voters."

"Good idea Leader, how will we go about it?” asked Brown.

"Well", said Gillard, "We’ll get ourselves one of those Driza-Bone coats, some RM Williams boots, a stick and an Akubra hat. Oh, and a Blue Heeler cattle dog. Then we'll really look the part. We'll go to a typical old outback country pub and we'll show them how much we really enjoy the bush."

"Righto" said Brown.

Days later, all kitted out and with the requisite Blue Heeler, they set off from Canberra in a westerly direction. Eventually they arrived at just the place they were looking for and found a typical outback pub. They walked in with the dog and went up to the bar.

"G'day mate", said Gillard to the bartender, "Two middies of your best beer".

"Good afternoon Leader", said the bartender, "Two middies of our best coming up".

Gillard and Brown stood leaning on the bar drinking their beer and chatting, nodding now and again to whoever came into the bar for a drink. The dog lay quietly at their feet.

All of a sudden, the door from the adjacent bar opened and in came a grizzled old stockman, complete with stock whip. He walked up to the cattle dog, lifted its tail with the whip, looked underneath, shrugged his shoulders and walked back to the other bar. A few moments later in came another old stockman with his whip. He walked up to the dog and lifted its tail, looked underneath, scratched his head and went back to the other bar.

Over the course of the next hour or so another four or five stockmen came in and lifted the dog's tail, looked underneath and went away looking puzzled.

Eventually, Gillard and Brown could stand it no longer and called the barman over.

"Tell me" said Brown, "Why did all those old stockmen come in and look under the dog's tail like that? Is it an old outback custom?"

"Strewth no", said the barman. "Someone told 'em there was a cattle dog in the bar with two bumholes."

I wish I had steak. Then I could have steak and chips.

I wish I had chips...

A steak through my hart.

glas "At Home With Julia" premiered last night... 7/10

Updated classics:

what do you get when you kiss a girl,
You get enough germs to catch Chlamydia
When you do
She'll text to dump ya
I'll never fall in love again...

What breed of sheep do you have glas? Long haired ones?