The Apprentice Thread (SPOILERS)

[NickisBHAFC]

First topic message reminder :

That girl last night shouldn't of been fired.

[sodhat]

I don't think anyone ever looks at Luisa's mole tbh. And as much as I hate her, loathe her in fact, the way she said "for once, Neil Clough isn't going to get his own way" makes me want her to win now.

Yeah, for once he won't get his own way. Because like always she'll be getting her own way.

She is horrendous. As is Neil to be fair. It's hard to pick a likeable one from those left. Maybe Myles, and I like Leah.

[GSC]

Leah has 1 facial expression

[sodhat]

There is a really obvious joke around the word "facial" I could make, but I won't drag the thread down.

She is competent, strong willed, and a good all-rounder. Less of a dick than some of the others in my opinion.

[GSC]

I like Neil.

Myles is a bit of a snob, tends to look down on everyone else.

[sodhat]

Neil is a cocky prat, though.

[GSC]

They're all cocky prats.

At least the Welsh guy is paying the price for throwing a strop down the phone every episode since no one wants him to be PM. I imagine Lord Sugar will make him PM this week.

[sodhat]

Yeah he has to be made to be now, surely. He makes me laugh, but he is also a prat, yes.

I don't think they are all as cocky as Neil is though. He has a cast iron cockiness.

[Hibbz]

I'm banking on Neil being the sort of pr!ck that wears glasses because he thinks they give him an air of intelligence that his mouth is unable to.

I'm another who loathes Luisa. That sickly, faux sweet, simpering way of speaking makes me want to ram snooker balls down her throat. That and the fact she thinks she can (any probably does most of the time) get her own way just by fluttering her eyelids would inspire me to murder.

Though I, likewise, will give her a smidgeon of credit if she obstructs Neil Guff in some way perhaps by unleashing her minion hugeheadlittlelegs.

[Kenny]

I'm banking on Neil being the sort of pr!ck that wears classes because he thinks they give him an air of intelligence that his mouth is unable to.

I'm another who loathes Luisa. That sickly, faux sweet, simpering way of speaking makes me want to ram snooker balls down her throat. That and the fact she thinks she can (any probably does most of the time) get her own way just by fluttering her eyelids would inspire me to murder.

Though I, likewise, will give her a smidgeon of credit if she obstructs Neil Guff in some way perhaps by unleashing her minion hugeheadlittlelegs.

fantastic name

[Duty281]

Apprentice on tonight, but with no Jason is there even a point?

Myles or Alex to win it I think.

[Kenny]

please please please let Luisa go tonight

[Guest]

please please please let Neil go tonight

[Kenny]

double eviction then

[Bull]

Neil wont go.

Lusia,Fran or Jordan will go Defo sure

[Kenny]

Neil wont go.

Lusia,Fran or Jordan hugeheadlittlelegs will go Defo sure

sorry but i just love that name

[Bull]

[Kenny]

can't take credit for it , it was Hibbz who put it up

but now everytime i see Jordan hugeheadlittlelegs i just can't help but laugh and think how spot on it is

[Adam D]

Who is going? Please stay Alex!!

[liverbnz]

The curtains are about to be drawn on Count Dracula here. Other 2 are too strong (for him)

[Adam D]

This could save Alex! Miles and Leah going at it!

[liverbnz]

Leah doing a great job of talking herself into a sacking here.

[Adam D]

Booooooooooooooo!!!!!!

[Duty281]

Thought Myles should have gone, since the failure of the task was down to the branding. Then again, it did seem like Alex was fired because of his business plan.

[NickisBHAFC]

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Alex is a legend and will be missed. Best line ever in the apprentice "Jason will you be quiet you silly sh*t"

Neil Clough will win it now. All of the girls will soon be fired.

[Trebs]

Neil and Myles are probably the best candidates there, other than this task Myles hasn't done anything wrong. He's a great pitcher. But with Jason not around, it's all pointless.

Also a quick note that the ready meals factory was in the area of Derby I grew up in

[Bull]

Happy Myles survived.

expect it to between Myles and Neil now, i can see Jordan surviving to the end if his team wins..the team with Myles and Neil judging by the preview its boys v girls..

if the girls lose i suspect that Lusia or Fran will go.

[Guest]

Alex is a legend and will be missed. Best line ever in the apprentice "Jason will you be quiet you silly sh*t"

Worst line ever imo, it was classic Alex bullying. And he's hardly a 'legend', what with his failed business, unethical behaviour irl and complete lack of business sense. The guy is a pratt and Sugar is very wise to get shot of him.

I can seriously see Leah winning this, Myles is useless, Jordan is full of himself, the blond bird is hopeless and Luisa is mouthy. Leah's the safe investment.

[Bull]

Alex is a legend and will be missed. Best line ever in the apprentice "Jason will you be quiet you silly sh*t"

Worst line ever imo, it was classic Alex bullying. And he's hardly a 'legend', what with his failed business, unethical behaviour irl and complete lack of business sense. The guy is a pratt and Sugar is very wise to get shot of him.

I can seriously see Leah winning this, Myles is useless, Jordan is full of himself, the blond bird is hopeless and Luisa is mouthy. Leah's the safe investment.

You left off the amazing Neil.

[Hulking_up]

Can't believe we didn't get the chance to see Alex in the interviews.
Would have been tv gold.

[Kenny]

Fran could get railroaded next week as i think Luisa and Leah could gang up on her and lay any blame squarely at her feet , the same could happen to hugeheadlittlelegs on the boys team

[Duty281]

"Two day business trip. Pack your bags. Someone find my teddy bear!"

That's the best line ever on the Apprentice.

Jason

[sodhat]

I don't like Jordan, but he is impressing at the right times. He led the task well last week and won, even if he was maybe criticised for being a back seat manager. Then this week he stepped up and showed he can operate on the front line with a great pitch.

It's a shame its a serious process sometimes. I would have loved Jason and Zee to still be in it.

[Guest]

Thought Myles should have gone, since the failure of the task was down to the branding.

Disagree, there was nothing wrong with the branding. Look at some of the stuff aimed at kids these days, what's the big film out at the minute? Monster University and Dispicable Me 2. Come on, the BBC did "Horrible Histories" series which was educational and tongue in cheek scary for the kids. ASDA is full of those books along with "Monster High" tat and yet they say they don't like it at all. Utter rubbish.

Jordan showed that with the right pitch, it would sell. Maybe a slight alteration to the packaging (a cartoon monster of some description would have been fine) and describe it as "Horribly Healthy Food" as opposed to "Horrible Healthy Food"

Adults are happy to eat food described as "Devilishy good" "Sinfully Good" "Wickedly delicious" etc so I think it smacks of hypocrisy for parents to say they don't want their kids eating that sort of stuff.

How a Supermarket would agree to take orders on something that the team promised to improve without tasting it first is ridiculous. What if Honda pitched a car at us and we said, it's not nearly powerful enough. Would you buy it if Honda promised to make it better but you still hadn't test driven it?

Leah needs to go, she annoys the carp out of me. Can you imagine being her patient and being diagnosed by her? "There's probably something wraaaang with yeeeeeoooou but eeeeeeyyyeeee deeeooon't knoooowww wheeeet eet eees and tuuu beeeeeyy ornest eeeye heeveen't gat the teeeeyym to deeeoouu onneey reeeeyseeeerch."

Stop talking or kill me now

[Enforcer]

I can't stand Leah. All she does is complain and moan in her irritating voice, even when Sugar asked what she had done all she could do was slag Myles off.

Myles is the strongest candidate. But the process has no bearing on who wins now, it's all down to the business idea so picking a winner is almost impossible.

[Hibbz]

I thought exactly the same as Dave/Enforcer. I see plenty of things that are targeted at kids pestering their parents into buying things. In fact I'm pretty sure in previous episodes of this very show they've even said you need to target the kids if you want the parents to purchase.

This series seems even more contrived than previous ones and it could be because they want to candidates with the decent business plans to survive and the others to be sacked booted off the show.

In which case I don't know why they don't just have a show where people stand in front of a panel asking for funding for their business plans..............

[Guest]

Alan Sugar sits in his high chair whilst a gaggle of pathetic souls beg cry whinge and lap dance for his approval.

Karen Brady's teeth get more uniformly straight and white as the weeks go by so she looks like she's eaten a piano and Nick sqints so hard he ends up rupturing the muscles around his eyes

[Hibbz]

Alan Sugar sits in his high chair whilst a gaggle of pathetic souls beg cry whinge and lap dance for his approval.

Karen Brady's teeth get more uniformly straight and white as the weeks go by so she looks like she's eaten a piano and Nick sqints so hard he ends up rupturing the muscles around his eyes

Whilst in the following show a big, bald, Irish comedian (backed up by a desperate stand up wannabe, a b list celebrity whose qualification is watching the show and some blowhard set up in business by their parents dough but who claims expert knowledge in the industry) pokes fun at the discarded corpse using unseen footage and Blue Peter style props.

[Guest]

Dave's comment would have been funny...if it was funny

[Bull]

Dave's comment would have been funny...if it was funny

Agree

[GSC]

The bloke who lied about having a broadcasting license on his CV was the best candidate ever tbqh.

[Guest]

Stuart "The Brand" Baggs? He was pretty funny, but also had a spark of genius in him. He'd have been a great person to have around the office. I wouldn't give him £250k though

[sodhat]

"I’m not a one-trick pony, I’m not a 10-trick pony, I have a whole field of ponies – and they’re literally all running towards this job"

[GSC]

2nd best line ever behind

'I've been speaking to my advisors, and they've been telling me that...basically... you're full of ****'

[sodhat]

"Excuse me, Sir, you look like a sausage connoisseur."

[Guest]

“Everything I touch turns to sold.” was another Baggsy classic

[GSC]

He was pretty much the best candidate ever in terms of entertainment

[sodhat]

I liked Jason for his utter obliviousness though. Like when he was getting someone to test the chair in episode 2 (?) and when Jordan went to sit down:

"No, not you Jordan, someone normal size."

[Marsh]

Best Apprentice quote has to be:

'Describe yourself without using any cliches'

Jim: 'I am what it says on the tin'  

[Mind the windows Tino.]

Does anybody remember the blond chap from the West country a few series ago? He was great value.

"I inspire people, by being inspirational".

I am paraphrasing here but he also said something along the lines of;

" When I was 19, I had a Porsche. When I was 21, I had another Porsche".

All said in his farmer's accent. Lovely stuff.

[Rowley]

Stuart Baggs was brilliant. I loved the argument he had about having a full telecoms licence for the Isle of Man in the interview stage. The guy interviewing him (probably Claude) said he didn’t have a full telecoms licence he had a basic licence anybody could buy online for a reasonably small fee and which he had purchased himself to prove it. They argued about it for about ten minutes and when Claude said for about the 50th time you do not have a full licence, Baggas answered “in my mind I do” quality response.

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