The Culture Cup round 6

First topic message reminder :

rick_dagless wrote:http://io9.com/5982701/ultrasound-makes-sonoluminescent-bubbles

I think it is a grey ground Julius rather than black and white, so we may agree to disagree on this one

You could be right. If only you'd stuck to sonoluminescence, it definitely would have merited a round of applause. As it is, I'm not sure my conscient will allow it.

seanmichaels wrote:Bugger is when you are wearing pale coloured trouser type garments. Shows up the drippage someting chronic. Perhaps there is a business case for a male sanitary pad?

What exactly are 'trouser type garments', if not trousers? I now imagine you poncing about in jodhpurs or plus fours, in some sort of poor Chris Eubank imitation.

seanmichaels wrote:Bugger is when you are wearing pale coloured trouser type garments. Shows up the drippage someting chronic. Perhaps there is a business case for a male sanitary pad?

Or dark trousers

Galted wrote:The word "hampton" has brought me to a state of near-hysteria.  One of my colleagues just complained that his three-cheese ravioli wasn't very good and even that set me off.  The walk to the station is going to be painful unless I can pull myself together, I'm worried I'll see a cyclist getting run over or a beggar wearing a hat.

Do you walk through Hampton Heath?

DAVE667 wrote:

seanmichaels wrote:Bugger is when you are wearing pale coloured trouser type garments. Shows up the drippage someting chronic. Perhaps there is a business case for a male sanitary pad?

Or dark trousers

Or dark trouser type garments, for those averse to actual trousers.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

seanmichaels wrote:Bugger is when you are wearing pale coloured trouser type garments. Shows up the drippage someting chronic. Perhaps there is a business case for a male sanitary pad?

Spoiler:

Someone has already patented it, seany.  In 1984.

Bad luck.

That looks sheeet? I'm not talking some origami rubbish, just something that can sit snuggly on your trousers like a nicotine patch. Needs to be portable so as to accomodate length as well as the angle of the dangle.

seanmichaels wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

seanmichaels wrote:Bugger is when you are wearing pale coloured trouser type garments. Shows up the drippage someting chronic. Perhaps there is a business case for a male sanitary pad?

Spoiler:

Someone has already patented it, seany.  In 1984.

Bad luck.

That looks sheeet? I'm not talking some origami rubbish, just something that can sit snuggly on your trousers like a nicotine patch. Needs to be portable so as to accomodate length as well as the angle of the dangle.

Why don't you use a pen lid.

ShahenshahG wrote:

seanmichaels wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

seanmichaels wrote:Bugger is when you are wearing pale coloured trouser type garments. Shows up the drippage someting chronic. Perhaps there is a business case for a male sanitary pad?

Spoiler:

Someone has already patented it, seany.  In 1984.

Bad luck.

That looks sheeet? I'm not talking some origami rubbish, just something that can sit snuggly on your trousers like a nicotine patch. Needs to be portable so as to accomodate length as well as the angle of the dangle.

Why don't you use a pen lid.

This is becoming a useful brainstorming session.

Hampton, drippage, pen lid........

seanmichaels wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

seanmichaels wrote:Bugger is when you are wearing pale coloured trouser type garments. Shows up the drippage someting chronic. Perhaps there is a business case for a male sanitary pad?

Spoiler:

Someone has already patented it, seany.  In 1984.

Bad luck.

That looks sheeet? I'm not talking some origami rubbish, just something that can sit snuggly on your trousers like a nicotine patch. Needs to be portable so as to accomodate length as well as the angle of the dangle.

Well make your own prototype, patent it, get it in mass production, sell it to the multitudes, float your company on the stock exchange and then live out your days popping over to Necker to borrow sugar from Dickie Branson.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

seanmichaels wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

seanmichaels wrote:Bugger is when you are wearing pale coloured trouser type garments. Shows up the drippage someting chronic. Perhaps there is a business case for a male sanitary pad?

Spoiler:

Someone has already patented it, seany.  In 1984.

Bad luck.

That looks sheeet? I'm not talking some origami rubbish, just something that can sit snuggly on your trousers like a nicotine patch. Needs to be portable so as to accomodate length as well as the angle of the dangle.

Well make your own prototype, patent it, get it in mass production, sell it to the multitudes, float your company on the stock exchange and then live out your days popping over to Necker to borrow sugar from Dickie Branson.

Bit difficult since his house burnt down...you could always ask for some warm treacle...although he may get the wrong idea

If my neighbour knocked on the door to ask for sugar she wouldn't get any because I never answer it.

No-one has ever knocked on my door to ask for sugar.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:No-one has ever knocked on my door to ask for sugar.

Truss did ask for sugar lips though?

seanmichaels wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:No-one has ever knocked on my door to ask for sugar.

Truss did ask for sugar lips though?

Truss can have whatever he wants, when he wants it.

Once I hid behind the sofa when the carol singers came. Luckily I don't live on the ground floor anymore.

I once slammed the door in Daniel Craigs face and told I would gut him like a fish if he ever stepped foot on my property again.

Fortunately, Rachel had just that minute climbed over the fence and sneaked back home.

I believed that until I got to the bit about Weisz.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:I once slammed the door in Daniel Craigs face and told I would gut him like a fish if he ever stepped foot on my property again.

Fortunately, Rachel had just that minute climbed over the fence and sneaked back home.

You really are buying into the Lego movie spirit tino.

Yeah, I lied about that part.

Sorry.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:I once slammed the door in Daniel Craigs face and told I would gut him like a fish if he ever stepped foot on my property again.

Fortunately, Rachel had just that minute climbed over the fence and sneaked back home.

It's "set foot" not "stepped foot".

Galted wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:I once slammed the door in Daniel Craigs face and told I would gut him like a fish if he ever stepped foot on my property again.

Fortunately, Rachel had just that minute climbed over the fence and sneaked back home.

It's "set foot" not "stepped foot".

I wasn't really thinking about grammar too much. I had James Bond on my doorstep looking for his wife. I had to think and act fast.

Galted wrote:Once I hid behind the sofa when the carol singers came.  Luckily I don't live on the ground floor anymore.

Good job you didn't jump out the window.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Galted wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:I once slammed the door in Daniel Craigs face and told I would gut him like a fish if he ever stepped foot on my property again.

Fortunately, Rachel had just that minute climbed over the fence and sneaked back home.

It's "set foot" not "stepped foot".

I wasn't really thinking about grammar too much.  I had James Bond on my doorstep looking for his wife.  I had to think and act fast.

Understood but I'm not criticizing you, just advising you in case you have other Bonds on your property looking for their wives. Roger Moore would laugh at you if you said "stepped foot" or "step foot".

Galted wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Galted wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:I once slammed the door in Daniel Craigs face and told I would gut him like a fish if he ever stepped foot on my property again.

Fortunately, Rachel had just that minute climbed over the fence and sneaked back home.

It's "set foot" not "stepped foot".

I wasn't really thinking about grammar too much.  I had James Bond on my doorstep looking for his wife.  I had to think and act fast.

Understood but I'm not criticizing you, just advising you in case you have other Bonds on your property looking for their wives.  Roger Moore would laugh at you if you said "stepped foot" or "step foot".

He'd called Connery over just for the double giggle of hearing him say "Schtepped foot"

Galted wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Galted wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:I once slammed the door in Daniel Craigs face and told I would gut him like a fish if he ever stepped foot on my property again.

Fortunately, Rachel had just that minute climbed over the fence and sneaked back home.

It's "set foot" not "stepped foot".

I wasn't really thinking about grammar too much.  I had James Bond on my doorstep looking for his wife.  I had to think and act fast.

Understood but I'm not criticizing you, just advising you in case you have other Bonds on your property looking for their wives.  Roger Moore would laugh at you if you said "stepped foot" or "step foot".

Noted for future reference.

If Moore laughed at me I would cave his wrinkled old face in with a shovel.

DAVE667 wrote:

Galted wrote:Once I hid behind the sofa when the carol singers came.  Luckily I don't live on the ground floor anymore.

Good job you didn't jump out the window.

Yep, they'd have been on me in a flash. It's really hard to outrun them as well, they're quite swift and can change their tactics mid-chase.

Galted wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Galted wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:I once slammed the door in Daniel Craigs face and told I would gut him like a fish if he ever stepped foot on my property again.

Fortunately, Rachel had just that minute climbed over the fence and sneaked back home.

It's "set foot" not "stepped foot".

I wasn't really thinking about grammar too much.  I had James Bond on my doorstep looking for his wife.  I had to think and act fast.

Understood but I'm not criticizing you, just advising you in case you have other Bonds on your property looking for their wives.

Fair point, you don't want to pi55 off Nigel Bond (I hear he's a stickler for correct grammar) unless you want a snooker cue wrapped around your head.

DAVE667 wrote:

Galted wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Galted wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:I once slammed the door in Daniel Craigs face and told I would gut him like a fish if he ever stepped foot on my property again.

Fortunately, Rachel had just that minute climbed over the fence and sneaked back home.

It's "set foot" not "stepped foot".

I wasn't really thinking about grammar too much.  I had James Bond on my doorstep looking for his wife.  I had to think and act fast.

Understood but I'm not criticizing you, just advising you in case you have other Bonds on your property looking for their wives.  Roger Moore would laugh at you if you said "stepped foot" or "step foot".

He'd called Connery over just for the double giggle of hearing him say "Schtepped foot"

His wife is only 85, she's way too young for Tino to bother.

seanmichaels wrote:

Galted wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Galted wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:I once slammed the door in Daniel Craigs face and told I would gut him like a fish if he ever stepped foot on my property again.

Fortunately, Rachel had just that minute climbed over the fence and sneaked back home.

It's "set foot" not "stepped foot".

I wasn't really thinking about grammar too much.  I had James Bond on my doorstep looking for his wife.  I had to think and act fast.

Understood but I'm not criticizing you, just advising you in case you have other Bonds on your property looking for their wives.

Fair point, you don't want to pi55 off Nigel Bond (I hear he's a stickler for correct grammar) unless you want a snooker cue wrapped around your head.

Or Jennie Bond. Although I would invite her in.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

seanmichaels wrote:

Galted wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Galted wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:I once slammed the door in Daniel Craigs face and told I would gut him like a fish if he ever stepped foot on my property again.

Fortunately, Rachel had just that minute climbed over the fence and sneaked back home.

It's "set foot" not "stepped foot".

I wasn't really thinking about grammar too much.  I had James Bond on my doorstep looking for his wife.  I had to think and act fast.

Understood but I'm not criticizing you, just advising you in case you have other Bonds on your property looking for their wives.

Fair point, you don't want to pi55 off Nigel Bond (I hear he's a stickler for correct grammar) unless you want a snooker cue wrapped around your head.

Or Jennie Bond.  Although I would invite her in.

I could only think of Nigel and Jennie. Perhaps we are like each other?

Who would win a fight between carol singers (none of whom are wearing hi-tecs) and that giant caterpillar thing that Tina is scared of?

seanmichaels wrote:

Galted wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Galted wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:I once slammed the door in Daniel Craigs face and told I would gut him like a fish if he ever stepped foot on my property again.

Fortunately, Rachel had just that minute climbed over the fence and sneaked back home.

It's "set foot" not "stepped foot".

I wasn't really thinking about grammar too much.  I had James Bond on my doorstep looking for his wife.  I had to think and act fast.

Understood but I'm not criticizing you, just advising you in case you have other Bonds on your property looking for their wives.

Fair point, you don't want to pi55 off Nigel Bond (I hear he's a stickler for correct grammar) unless you want a snooker cue wrapped around your head.

Who's playing snooker with a bendable cue? That's just weird.

seanmichaels wrote:

Perhaps we are like each other?

We are nothing like each other.

superflyweight wrote:Who would win a fight between carol singers (none of whom are wearing hi-tecs) and that giant caterpillar thing that Tina is scared of?  

The carol singers with little effort, a group of 5 of them can easily bring down a fully grown elk.  Tino is probably going to start some crap about pound for pound and mention a Klitchko and some 2' 3" Mexican.

superflyweight wrote:giant caterpillar thing

Goon.

Galted wrote:

superflyweight wrote:Who would win a fight between carol singers (none of whom are wearing hi-tecs) and that giant caterpillar thing that Tina is scared of?  

The carol singers with little effort, a group of 5 of them can easily bring down a fully grown elk.  Tino is probably going to start some crap about pound for pound and mention a Klitchko and some 2' 3" Mexican.

Wrong. I am going to call you a silly c*nt and walk away.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Galted wrote:

superflyweight wrote:Who would win a fight between carol singers (none of whom are wearing hi-tecs) and that giant caterpillar thing that Tina is scared of?  

The carol singers with little effort, a group of 5 of them can easily bring down a fully grown elk.  Tino is probably going to start some crap about pound for pound and mention a Klitchko and some 2' 3" Mexican.

Wrong.  I am going to call you a silly c*nt and walk away.

You call anyone a silly c*nt and I bet they'd beat you to death with your own severed leg

Why did the carol singers attack the Elk?

DAVE667 wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Galted wrote:

superflyweight wrote:Who would win a fight between carol singers (none of whom are wearing hi-tecs) and that giant caterpillar thing that Tina is scared of?  

The carol singers with little effort, a group of 5 of them can easily bring down a fully grown elk.  Tino is probably going to start some crap about pound for pound and mention a Klitchko and some 2' 3" Mexican.

Wrong.  I am going to call you a silly c*nt and walk away.

You call anyone a silly c*nt and I bet they'd beat you to death with your own severed leg

Anyone other than Galted.

DAVE667 wrote:

seanmichaels wrote:

Galted wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Galted wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:I once slammed the door in Daniel Craigs face and told I would gut him like a fish if he ever stepped foot on my property again.

Fortunately, Rachel had just that minute climbed over the fence and sneaked back home.

It's "set foot" not "stepped foot".

I wasn't really thinking about grammar too much.  I had James Bond on my doorstep looking for his wife.  I had to think and act fast.

Understood but I'm not criticizing you, just advising you in case you have other Bonds on your property looking for their wives.

Fair point, you don't want to pi55 off Nigel Bond (I hear he's a stickler for correct grammar) unless you want a snooker cue wrapped around your head.

Who's playing snooker with a bendable cue? That's just weird.

He is promoting a new low carbon footprint cue made from an ensemble of giant centipedes.

seanmichaels wrote:Why did the carol singers attack the Elk?

To get to the other side.

JuliusHMarx wrote:

seanmichaels wrote:Why did the carol singers attack the Elk?

To get to the other side.

Surely, "to protect them from the REINDEER" would have been a better answer

Atramentous on here tonight.

If I ever own a monitor lizard I'm going to name it "Atramentous".

I killed a spider this morning.  
 
It put up little fight and was possibly dying anyway.  I wish I could say it was a painless death, but the b**tard was sneaking its way towards my toast and I showed it no remorse.  A swift death but it's legs and body being crushed under the weight of my hand (wrapped in kitchen roll obviously) followed by a hefty dunt to take out its last remaining brain functions must have registered quite high on the pain scale.  
 
Clearly the hunted had become the hunter and this [Super]fly had struck back.

superflyweight wrote:I killed a spider this morning.  
 
It put up little fight and was possibly dying anyway.  I wish I could say it was a painless death, but the b**tard was sneaking its way towards my toast and I showed it no remorse.  A swift death but it's legs and body being crushed under the weight of my hand (wrapped in kitchen roll obviously) followed by a hefty dunt to take out its last remaining brain functions must have registered quite high on the pain skull.  
 
Clearly the hunted had become the hunter and this [Super]fly had struck back.

Disappointing.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Galted wrote:

superflyweight wrote:Who would win a fight between carol singers (none of whom are wearing hi-tecs) and that giant caterpillar thing that Tina is scared of?  

The carol singers with little effort, a group of 5 of them can easily bring down a fully grown elk.  Tino is probably going to start some crap about pound for pound and mention a Klitchko and some 2' 3" Mexican.

Wrong.  I am going to call you a silly c*nt and walk away.

I've had about 3/4 of a day to come up with a retort and haven't managed to do so yet.

You may have won this one, Tino, but don't think I'm taking it lying down, don't think that for even a second.

Galted wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Galted wrote:

superflyweight wrote:Who would win a fight between carol singers (none of whom are wearing hi-tecs) and that giant caterpillar thing that Tina is scared of?  

The carol singers with little effort, a group of 5 of them can easily bring down a fully grown elk.  Tino is probably going to start some crap about pound for pound and mention a Klitchko and some 2' 3" Mexican.

Wrong.  I am going to call you a silly c*nt and walk away.

I've had about 3/4 of a day to come up with a retort and haven't managed to do so yet.

You may have won this one, Tino, but don't think I'm taking it lying down, don't think that for even a second.

No need Galted.  I actually withdraw the comment.  It was driven by emotion and one should be more careful when feeding off ones emotions.

Instead, I will just highlight that you missed the letter 's' from Klitschko.

How about "It will be worth being called a silly c*nt as long as you stay away".

JuliusHMarx wrote:How about "It will be worth being called a silly c*nt as long as you stay away".

You would miss me, Jules.

Edit: That was very funny though.

Tino, I could take all the madness the world has to give, but I won't last a day without you.