The Culture Cup Round x - Adam is a naughty naughty boy

First topic message reminder :

I love you all, not in a massively gay way, apart from Tina obviously.

991

seanmichaels wrote:

My budget almost done this year getting a new engine on one mower and the other re-ground. Looks like I'll be buying fertiliser from my own pocket unless you have some going spre from your own stash?

Come and see me, Seany. We quite often have huge manure piles in the fields near us. They bolt up in the summer months, smells like a French toilet. The farmers don't mind people taking it for the garden. We have taken the odd bucket load in the past.

You can fill up the Kia with some for free.

seanmichaels wrote:

ShahenshahG wrote:

seanmichaels wrote:Congrats.

Rope is a phenomenally expensive thing. Have always wanted to get  some of 30mm diameter stuff for a boundary rope at our ground. £270 + VAT for 220m and you need 2. Then you need a rope winder for them which is £495 + VAT

Have a look on durant cricket mate. The rope will be marginally cheaper but you'll save serious money on the winder

Aye. Quite familiar with them. They do the cheapest winder (still £495+VAT) but their rope is outrageous.

My budget almost done this year getting a new engine on one mower and the other re-ground. Looks like I'll be buying fertiliser from my own pocket unless you have some going spre from your own stash?

I have some left over been a busy year for us won't have enough to cover your needs on its own, however if you combine it with the amount that comes out of your mouth and the amount stuck to the grizzly bear you've used for a sex toy then Bob's your uncle ...should the neighbours ask.

ShahenshahG wrote:That guy is a pompous Tinkywinky. He came over to the boxing board during the chisora haye brawl got his arse handed to him and went away with his tail between his legs

He's alright in general. Can just get quite opaque. Remember getting into an argument with him because he refused to believe the Top 14 having a bigger budget than Super15 did not make it a better league

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

You can fill up the Kia with some for free.

Manure is full of organic fibrous material - a no no for a cricket square. You want a hard surface not a sponge.

See the darkish layer in the core below? Fibrous material causing pans within the square. The pans will take all the energy out of the ball, cushioning it and producing low slow bounce.

seanmichaels wrote:New years eve 1999 I was at a club in Southampton and some bird was trying to release my hampton from my trousers. Couldn't get the bloody knot undone and then I ended up bugling in the bogs and getting chucked out.

You had a knot in your trousers?

superflyweight wrote:

seanmichaels wrote:New years eve 1999 I was at a club in Southampton and some bird was trying to release my hampton from my trousers. Couldn't get the bloody knot undone and then I ended up bugling in the bogs and getting chucked out.

You had a knot in your trousers?  

I think he is Compo from Last of the Summer Wine.

seanmichaels wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

You can fill up the Kia with some for free.

Manure is full of organic fibrous material - a no no for a cricket square. You want a hard surface not a sponge.

See the darkish layer in the core below? Fibrous material causing pans within the square. The pans will take all the energy out of the ball, cushioning it and producing low slow bounce.

Fascinating stuff, Seany. Sorry for the late reply, I fell asleep reading your post.

I didn't realise that there was a difference between fertilizer and manure. I don't know sh1t.

JuliusHMarx wrote:I didn't realise that there was a difference between fertilizer and manure. I don't know sh1t.

This is why I love you, Jules.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

superflyweight wrote:

seanmichaels wrote:New years eve 1999 I was at a club in Southampton and some bird was trying to release my hampton from my trousers. Couldn't get the bloody knot undone and then I ended up bugling in the bogs and getting chucked out.

You had a knot in your trousers?  

I think he is Compo from Last of the Summer Wine.

I'm just hoping that "bloody knot" isn't a euphemism for mimsy.

superflyweight wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

superflyweight wrote:

seanmichaels wrote:New years eve 1999 I was at a club in Southampton and some bird was trying to release my hampton from my trousers. Couldn't get the bloody knot undone and then I ended up bugling in the bogs and getting chucked out.

You had a knot in your trousers?  

I think he is Compo from Last of the Summer Wine.

I'm just hoping that "bloody knot" isn't a euphemism for mimsy.  

Bugling. Read that as bulging first time round, which is something else entirely. Had visions of Sean with an inaccessible erection  being manhandled from the premises.

I would like to know why he had a knot in his trousers.

Could he have been wearing canvas trousers like those sported by Don Johnson in Miami Vice? Surely not possible in 1999?

Girls dont want to pull your trousers all the way down, they would go in through the fly hole area.

Knotted-fly trousers?

superflyweight wrote:I would like to know why he had a knot in his trousers.  

Could he have been wearing canvas trousers like those sported by Don Johnson in Miami Vice?  Surely not possible in 1999?  

He has just bought a parka had a parka forced upon him by his missus.  Last seen modeled by Liam Gallagher in 1995.

I think Don Johnson trousers is a perfectly reasonable assumption.

Visions of Sean dressed like the man from Del Monte in a white linen suit.

"The man from Del Monte. He here and he look like Jurgen Klopp wearing a dirty white sack. He also have erection."

"He sweating lots. Weather hot. Coat too big".

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

superflyweight wrote:I would like to know why he had a knot in his trousers.  

Could he have been wearing canvas trousers like those sported by Don Johnson in Miami Vice?  Surely not possible in 1999?  

He has just bought a parka had a parka forced upon him by his missus.  Last seen modeled by Rowley at weekend whilst watching the charlatans.

They were flannel-y type blue things. A string woven into the waistline (32inch). I think I'd lost a bit of weight so had to double knot to keep them up. Shed had a go at it (the knot) one handed and cocked it up.

He waving his hampton at my grandma. She just his type. He not gay at all.

seanmichaels wrote:
They were flannel-y type blue things.

On new years eve?

You must have been freezing. And looked like a knob.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

seanmichaels wrote:
They were flannel-y type blue things.

On new years eve?

You must have been freezing.  And looked like a knob.

More scruffy in those days. Probably had them paired up with my sergio tacchini tracksuit top. It was the Walkabout if I remember correctly.

JuliusHMarx wrote:I didn't realise that there was a difference between fertilizer and manure. I don't know sh1t.

Achingly morose on here today.

Turgid.

Flaccid.

Limp.

Bizkit.

JuliusHMarx wrote:Bizkit.

What is everyone's favourite biscuit?

Mine is a bourbon.  Closely followed by a chocolate hobnob.  Custard creme would complete the podium.

Custard creme, followed by Viscount mint biscuits.

Fox's shortcake round, finger cream (not a librarian creaming on my fingers), jammy dodger.

ShahenshahG wrote:Custard creme

Do you bite the top lid off and scrape the creme with your front teeth or do you eat it in the conventional way?

Great shout on jammy dodgers, super. I do enjoy them.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

ShahenshahG wrote:Custard creme

Do you bite the top lid off and scrape the creme with your front teeth or do you eat it in the conventional way?

Great shout on jammy dodgers, super.  I do enjoy them.

Both, depends on if im high or not, my daughter does the former and my wife stares hungrily from her cage then morosely at her gruel.

Julius do you live near Weybridge?

http://metro.co.uk/2015/03/04/men-in-their-80s-are-wearing-tennis-skirts-and-having-sex-in-a-surrey-park-because-why-the-hell-not-5087719/

Hibbz wrote:Julius do you live near Weybridge?

http://metro.co.uk/2015/03/04/men-in-their-80s-are-wearing-tennis-skirts-and-having-sex-in-a-surrey-park-because-why-the-hell-not-5087719/

I don't, but thanks for the heads-up.

I think Sean lives near the Surrey border.

Just a hop, skip and a mince from Desborough Island.

Maybe he turned to tennis skirts after knot getting his way in the Southampton toilets.

Hibbz wrote:Maybe he turned to tennis skirts after knot getting his way in the Southampton toilets.

Have you ever been to Reykjavik?

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:I think Sean lives near the Surrey border.

Just a hop, skip and a mince from Desborough Island.

I can just imagine seans funeral, they have to tie his legs (splayed) to either side of an offroader and drag his arse around a landfill, both to dispose of the rubbish and prevent his arse swallowing the graves around him after burial. Then Billy Connolly leads the prayers and ends up with a tragic tale of his mate attempting to park his bike.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Hibbz wrote:Maybe he turned to tennis skirts after knot getting his way in the Southampton toilets.

Have you ever been to Reykjavik?

No, it's too cold for tennis skirts.

First. How embarrassing for the culture cup.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:I think Sean lives near the Surrey border.

Weybridge not near a Surrey boarder[sic]. Fairly central. Used to play rugby against a catholic school called St Georges there. They used to wear pink and white hoops. Had a massive ginger lad playing for them.

Michaelsed on here today. Morning liars thieves wasters arsebanditees and Julius

Hmm left out TLD. What do you do for a living mate?

architect

The only honest worker here is an aussie. What the Frak is going on.

Here lies the remains of the culture cup. May it rest in peace.

I'm thinking of a career change.

I'm interested in studying birds (pigeons, parrots and song birds) now.
Maybe I can get a huge grant from the Government if I ask nicely?

(hah, I almost saw a pun in there........................ Julius?)

The Loaded Dog wrote:

I'm interested in studying birds (pigeons, parrots and song birds) now.
Maybe I can get a huge grant from the Government if I ask nicely?

It won't be cheep.

seanmichaels wrote:

The Loaded Dog wrote:

I'm interested in studying birds (pigeons, parrots and song birds) now.
Maybe I can get a huge grant from the Government if I ask nicely?

It won't be cheep.

Would be a major mitchell coop if I could get it.

A feather in your cap.

You are the wind beneath my ears....

The Loaded Dog wrote:You are the wind beneath my ears....

Said the engineer as he installed the service lift in seans arse