The Azzrentice - Task 1

Good morning.

You stand here before me, the brightest and best fake online football managers the country has to offer. One of you will be walking away with prestige. Bragging rights. A title to echo throughout the fake online football management ages. I am looking for someone with a rich knowledge of the history of our beautiful game. Someone who understands how to play the game, Someone who has the brains to get behind the football and into the business. And most importantly, someone who knows what fans of the game want, and how to grow and expand the game to even greater heights.

For the first task I am going to split you into two teams. Team 1 will have three managers - Viva, Marky and Nando. Team 2 will have the other three managers - GSC, Trebs and Miky.

The first task has three components. First, I want you to name your teams and give me sound reasoning as to why you have chosen that name. I don't want to hear silly names like 'Team Januzaj the diver' or 'Team Scholes the greatest player ever'. I want a name that you feel represents everything that is great about our game.

Second, you must elect a team manager. Choose wisely, choose effectively.

Finally, the meat of the task. Having dispensed with the veg, you will now sit down and craft me a vision for the future. The future of the global game. I want your teams to give me a strategy for FIFA. A blueprint to the improvement of our game. In 2015 there will be a vote on who will be the next leader of FIFA. I want your team to tell me what its plan would be. It can cover any aspect of football - business, grass roots development, profit sharing, anything - but you must limit ourselves to five points only. I also want an explanation of how you would practically go about implementing your five points, and how you would pay for them.

Submissions must be handed in by midnight next Monday 23 March. I'll see you in my Boardroom on Tuesday and I can tell you now that on the losing team, one of you will be fired.

My team I've created us a homepage.

Great task Lord Azzy.

"In 2015 there will be a vote on who will be the next leader of FIFA. I want your team to tell me what its plan would be."

Just to clarify Azzy, as if our team were running to be the next leader?

Yes. And you'll know from past Azzrentice competitions that I love a good clarification.

Can we expand our 5 points to lead into other things

Try it, see what happens.

A reminder for both teams that your submissions are required by midnight tonight. Any late submissions will receive a partial deduction on your scoring.

Which brings me on the topic of scoring - I will be giving you marks out of 10 for your submission. That will cover all three aspects of your submission and, obviously, some elements of the task will carry less weighting than others. Have a well-rounded submission handed in on time and you will stand a much better chance than handing in a late, well-written submission with some great points but with some flaws.

I will be in my Boardroom from 10:00 tomorrow morning. See you all then.

Corrupution in Fifa

To get rid off Corrupution in Fifa we would look to publish Michael Garcia's investigation on corruption in Fifa in which Sepp Blatter handled poorly. This will allow us to take action on any wrong doings by the Football Associations that were involved. We will also look at FA that were not involved to see if they have been involved in any corruption. We will punish the offenders and shake up each countries FA.


World Cup Hosts

We have decided that the fairest way to distribute the World Cup across the globe would be to create a system where each continent hosts the tournament in sequence. It seems unlikely many African countries would be able to host a World Cup, so will exclude them from this process. For example, 2014 World Cup was South America (Brazil), 2018 is Europe (Russia), 2022 is Asia/Oceania (Qatar), so 2026 would be North America (USA and/or Canada), 2030 would be South America (perfect for the 100 year anniversary/centenary tournament in Uruguay/Argentina), 2034 in Europe, 2038 in Australia and so on and so forth. There is potential for including Africa as one of the continents in this process but only joint bids would be able to be considered IMO as unless we're going to South Africa every time there wouldn't be any countries with the sufficient infrastructure to host a World Cup. Most likely bids from Africa would be merged with North America in our bidding process. It would be a fairer way to spread the World Cup to places that haven't yet been able to host this global event. It also means Europe would be hosting a tournament every 16 years which isn't disasterous at all. There are no additional costs to this.


Racism in Football

We plan to tackle racism in football grounds, primarily by fans, by issuing huge fines to the clubs (or FA's if it's a national team) and making them play in empty stadiums or in some cases banning them from competitions. This would directly affect the average fan who indulges in this behaviour and even if they aren't caught, they would be taught a lesson that racism isn't tolerated in football. Money earned from fining the guilty parties would go into Fifa's accounts to be spent on other means. Domestically, points deductions could be enforced in some cases, if it were a Premier League side a points deduction could do more damage to the club long term and would also be something for the fans to consider. Perhaps a set punishment for a first/second/third offence, starting with fines and leading up to points deductions and expulsion. Obviously in this process we would also hope any fans caught racially abusing anybody would be tried in a court of law. However fines should be relative to the club's income, if it's PSG then we're talking millions, if its Kidderminster Harriers then we're talking tens of thousands. It would be completely pointless fining a non league club the same as fining a Champions League club even for the same offence, as it just wouldn't be paid and the club would just fold in a business sense. In terms of racism from individual players, heavy fines and long suspensions would be sufficient deterrents in our opinion.

Stock Exchange

We would place Fifa who are a billion pound company on the stick exchange. It would make Fifa money they could spread between the Continent's boards so Uefa/Concacaf etc. It would also mean that Fifa would have to be honest about their finances in releasing quarterly & Annaul results which would show revenues & losses and to protect or show up potential bribery for World Cups. It would release payment details of what members are earning and how it's shared between Fifa nations which would lead to an equality payment for all nations from England to Faroe Islands to Tahiti.

Video Technology

We would like to implement the use of Goal Line technology through out football down into the lower leagues, which if listed on the stock market, Fifa would be able to give the FA's the funds so all teams in the football League & potentially lower could implement the system. We would also like to help the ref by bringing a video ref into the fold they can refer situations to at their request and not the teams. At the time of the request the clock would be stopped until a decision is made and will not be added into injury time. It would help with penalty decisions & correcting incorrect red cards. We feel that the instead of having just 1 video ref we should have a panel of 3 and which would give a majority and different opinions on the situation.

Woo!

Go Team F.U.C.K.E.D - O.F.F

We've been surprisingly competent

Good evening Azzy, I present to you the team submission from myself, GSC and Holymiky.

Our team name:

INTEGRITY
Integrity, as I’m sure you are aware, means the quality of being honest and having strong moral principles which is why we as a team chose this name to shape the future of FIFA. We feel that this name best shows our plans and our intensions moving forward and to make the footballing fans around the world start trusting and believing in FIFA again.

Our five main goals: We present our five points on FIFA. They have been put in order, with what we feel to be the most important first.

1. TRANSPARENCY OF FIFA
Ladies and Gentlemen, FIFA is a joke. A worldwide punchline that stumbles into one PR disaster after another. Confidence in FIFA is non existant. FIFA must begin earning back the trust of Football fans across the world. That starts with becoming a more transparent and open organisation. We will create a brand new organisation set up to investigate and punish those found responsible of corruption within FIFA. This organisation will be wholly independent on FIFA and have jurisdiction over everybody associated with FIFA, and is to be headed up by people with unchallengeable morals. These people will be replaced every 12 months. We also propose that every investigation carried out by this organisation is to be made public, and open to scrutiny by the outside world. They will have powers ranging from fines to suspensions and termination. By winning back trust and by that sponsors, we believe this organisation will fund itself in the long run.

2. CHARITABLE CAUSES
This links in with the earlier point that there is a lack of transparency on Fifa. According to the 2013 FIFA finances (the most recent available) 4% of the cash spent went to charitable causes, such as refereeing, amateur football, women's football etc. This is a start, as FIFA explain that their aims are to 'inspire communities... everybody has the right to play football' and promote cultural and humanitarian values. For being a big part of FIFA's aims, more money should be put into it.

We want to increase this to 10% to help these causes. FIFA spent $1.3 billion in 2013 and it is unclear how the money is spent in the report. We cannot see what the top executives make, the governors earn 5% which can be reduced by a couple of percent, and 72% was put into organising events. Is it necessary to have $2 billion set aside for Russia? I think not. The difference between 4% and 10% is a couple of hundred million. Another thing that could help to account for this is to get sponsors to be involved in such charitable causes, which I am sure they will only be too happy to do as this would be good publicity.

3. YELLOW CARD SIN BIN
We feel that a Sin Bin system should be implemented similar to orange cards however without adding any new punishments we can use the yellow card and the opinion of the referee to punish players during the game by deciding on if the level of the foul is deemed enough for a Sin Bin punishment. This would be for a set amount of time during the game and one of the advantages to this is as much as it is a punishment it will potentially give that player some time to cool off perhaps stopping them from receiving a possible red card straight away. Not only would the player be punished due to this but the team would be as well giving the opposition an advantage. We feel that this would then squeeze out the likes of diving and “Tactical fouls” especially if the player involved knows that they will be out of the game leaving their team short of a man for 10 minutes as an example.

4. RETROSPECTIVE ACTION.
With the amount of TV cameras at grounds and the increased scrutiny referees can be put under for wrong mistakes, it is time to reverse the rule stating organisations cannot take retrospective action against obvious wrong decisions if technology proves them wrong. We believe this will allow Football to clamp down on diving, something which is polluting Football's reputation.

5. WORLD CUP SLOTS
At present, the current split has Africa with 5 places, Asia 4 (with one additional play-off slot), and likewise for South America. However, Africa has approximately the same amount of teams that enter the world cup qualifying as Europe, who get 13 places. We want to increase their slots and make it fairer for countries here to qualify. While we appreciate that this may lead to one or two smaller European nations being unhappy, we feel that this will bring the world cup to the world and also give us favourable votes from these continents. Oceania would also get a 'proper' slot for the world, instead of only a play-off.


I hope you enjoyed reading our submission and we look forward to hearing your response.

Zidane, CF, you both look handsome today

I've got to go around 10:15, can post on my phone but would ideally know which team won by then

Good morning.

Good morning.

Good morning Mr Mahmood, good morning everybody

#Pimps&Hoes

Good morning Mr Mahmood, you're looking sharp this morning

Good Morning Lord Mahmood.

Good morning lord azzy.

You look fantastic Azzy, have you lost weight?

Good morning lord azzy, i never thought you were fat to begin with

That's not what you told me on JA Trebs

What happens on chat roulette, stays on chat roulette you two

This task was a very simple one. I asked you to do three things:

- Name your teams and give me sound reasoning as to why you have chosen that name
- Elect a team manager
- Give me a strategy for FIFA, five points maximum, including plans for implementation and financing.

I will tell you all what I thought of your submissions in a moment, but first I want to hear from the team captains. Viva and Trebs, tell me how your team performed.

I was the definite leader in this task. Both miky and gsc made suggestions, miky did some good work finding out what the other fifa candidates were proposing. I feel i lead the team well with some good work from the two guys, gsc and miky. Having said that, i feel i put the most into the task.

There's no "I" in team

Viva, if you have anything to say, say it now. I'm moving on at 1020.

Marky wrote:There's no "I" in team

5 in that post though

I can't have asked anymore from my team, they were supporting me 100%. They helped with ideas and the creative side of things, it was my choice at the end but they made it a lot easier for me. I wouldn't swap them for anything.

The underside of the bus I just got thrown under hurts

There is an i in win.

There's a W in Win & W*nk*r

Okay, I've heard enough. I've made my decision.

We were cheated

I blame Afro

Team F.U.C.K.E.D - O.F.F - some elements of your submission were very good, and you worked well together. However...

What did i say wrong? They both helped but i lead and did the most. I don't think gsc and miky can argue with that.

I would just like to say that we had no team name as Viva left it out & forgot to replace it.

Fernando wrote:I would just like to say that we had no team name as Viva left it out & forgot to replace it.

The cliffhanger means you won

We're called Team Pele.

Unlike the other candidates I haven't disrespected Lord Mahmood.

However, Team Integrity, you were a well-drilled machine with four very good ideas. You are this week's winners.

GSC wrote:

Fernando wrote:I would just like to say that we had no team name as Viva left it out & forgot to replace it.

The cliffhanger means you won

I don't care if we won or lost, Viva should be held accountable for his mistake...

Trebs wrote:What did i say wrong? They both helped but i lead and did the most. I don't think gsc and miky can argue with that.

I can and would have if we had lost

Which idea was crap?

Thank you azzy.

Can i ask which four were the good ideas?

Feedback for Team Integrity before I move onto the shambles that was Team F.U.C.K.E.D - O.F.F :

I gave you 13/17 in marks. 1 mark for team name, 1 for manager, then 11/15 on the points (one each for concept, implementation plan and financing).

Plan 1: 1 – just what is needed
1 – good plan for how it would operate, I like the 12 month terms
1 – although I do think in the long term this committee would become susceptible to bribery itself.

Plan 2: 1 – this is what fifa should be doing
1 – clear plan for doing this
1 – clear plan for where the funds are coming from

Plan 3: 0 – I don’t like this idea, as referees are far too inconsistent currently and this adds a further layer of difficulty to their roles. How many people can go in the sin bin at once? 9?
1 – well thought through
0 – no mention of player fines for set number of sin bin appearances, no mention of cheerleaders or any commercial exploitation of the idea

Plan 4: 1 – I agree this needs to be done, in moderation
0 – no detail of support for national associations, also, this is the briefest of the proposals
0 – this would be a costly thing to do and no mention of how it would be funded, nor of what level of football this would apply to. PL only?

Plan 5: 1 – very sensible proposal, fair to all continents
1 – good plan
1 – finances take care of themselves as the game is better off and more inclusive

I'll see the three of you later today for the next task.

The other team, I'll be back after I've had a tom t1t.

Think I would hav picked Integrity as the winner as well.

Although the giving more World Cup slots idea is terrible. Firstly, you say it gains you African votes - ignoring the ethics element, would it not cost you European votes as well? And secondly, one of your early points was about raising money. Europe (UEFA, tv companies and sponsorship focus) is one of the biggest contributor to FIFA funds, so reducing European teams will hit the FIFA finances.

Who ever came up with that one didn't think it through IMO

So, to the gist of it. I gave you 5/5 for the concepts - all were sound proposals. However, I gave you 0/5 for showing me how each concept would be funded, and only 3/5 for implementation.

Who came up with each of the ideas? And how much did you assist each other with the writing? Did you look over each person's submission or do stand-alone proposals?

And who came up with the team name?