The Culture Cup Round x - Adam is a naughty naughty boy

by **seanmichaels** Thu 01 Oct 2015, 1:17 pm

First topic message reminder :

Daddy long legs are a nightmare for cricket groundsman. Their larvae are called Leatherjackets feed on the roots of the grass and can devastate the square. Season is done but the crows are digging up the bastards on my square at the moment.

by **ShahenshahG** Wed 07 Oct 2015, 11:40 am

He laughs
Out loud
He's made his prefect proud
Michaels!
Michaels!

by **JuliusHMarx** Wed 07 Oct 2015, 12:05 pm

A bromance
Is brewing
It could be their undoing

Sean & Shah!
Sean & Shah!

by Mind the windows Tino. Wed 07 Oct 2015, 12:22 pm

JuliusHMarx wrote:A bromance
Is brewing
It could be their undoing

Sean & Shah!
Sean & Shah!

I am
A Believer
Sean is the receiver

Sean & Shah!
Sean & Shah!

by **JuliusHMarx** Wed 07 Oct 2015, 12:32 pm

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
JuliusHMarx wrote:A bromance
Is brewing
It could be their undoing

Sean & Shah!
Sean & Shah!

I am
A Believer
Sean is the receiver

Sean & Shah!
Sean & Shah!

A punctured
Liver
If Shah is the giver

Shah & Sean!
Shah & Sean!

by **Dolphin Ziggler** Wed 07 Oct 2015, 12:40 pm

Talksport have got the countries "foremost Jurgen Klopp lookalike" on air.

by **superflyweight** Wed 07 Oct 2015, 12:40 pm

This is beneath Jeff.

by Alistair Wed 07 Oct 2015, 12:54 pm

I'm waiting for the BBC to break the story...

'Bearded Culture Guru in Mass Killing Spree'.

by **seanmichaels** Wed 07 Oct 2015, 1:14 pm

Alistair wrote:I'm waiting for the BBC to break the story...

'Bearded Culture Guru in Mass Killing Spree'.

Spoiler:

by Rowley Wed 07 Oct 2015, 1:15 pm

superflyweight wrote:This is beneath Jeff.

Not at the minute fly, spending time with these bell ends is beneath me

by trottb Wed 07 Oct 2015, 1:16 pm

JuliusHMarx wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
JuliusHMarx wrote:A bromance
Is brewing
It could be their undoing

Sean & Shah!
Sean & Shah!

I am
A Believer
Sean is the receiver

Sean & Shah!
Sean & Shah!

A punctured
Liver
If Shah is the giver
T
Shah & Sean!
Shah & Sean!

Sean tripped
Shah fell
And entered his bell

Sean and Shah
Sean and Shah

by Mind the windows Tino. Wed 07 Oct 2015, 1:19 pm

He entered
Shah's slot
We know him as Trott

Trott!
Trott!

by trottb Wed 07 Oct 2015, 1:25 pm

Pretends
He's rich
His son made him his bitch

Tino
Tino

by Mind the windows Tino. Wed 07 Oct 2015, 1:27 pm

He lost
His dog
His ex drowned it in a bog

Trott!
Trott!

by trottb Wed 07 Oct 2015, 1:35 pm

by 1GrumpyGolfer Wed 07 Oct 2015, 2:28 pm

His outlook
Is bleak
He's not even been there a week

Rowley
Rowley

by **JuliusHMarx** Wed 07 Oct 2015, 2:37 pm

1GrumpyGolfer wrote:His outlook
Is bleak
He's not even been there a week

Rowley
Rowley

Would've been good but you said 'Rowley' instead of 'Rowley'.

by 1GrumpyGolfer Wed 07 Oct 2015, 2:41 pm

I know it's 'Rowley' as in 'Rowley', not 'Rowley as in 'Rowley'

by **seanmichaels** Wed 07 Oct 2015, 2:51 pm

Who said dis?

1. The reason we're successful, darling? My overall charisma, of course.

2. I used to go missing a lot... Miss Canada, Miss United Kingdom, Miss World.

3. I'll die before I'm 25, and when I do I'll have lived the way I wanted to.

4. If you even dream of beating me you'd better wake up and apologize.

5. Americans want grungy people, stabbing themselves in the head on stage. They get a bright bunch like us, with deodorant on, they don't get it.

6. I've never had a problem with drugs. I've had problems with the police.

7. I'm a businessman first and a boxer second. I'm looking for the readies. The aim is to win at all costs. The reason why I'm such a successful pugilist is that no one knows my limitations better than me.

8. You should treat women the same way as any good Yorkshire batsman used to treat a cricket ball. Don't stroke 'em, don't tickle 'em, just give 'em a ruddy good belt.

9. I just want you to know that, when we talk about war, we're really talking about peace.

10. I would like to go to Russia very much, although the b@stards murdered half my family

by Mind the windows Tino. Wed 07 Oct 2015, 2:56 pm

seanmichaels wrote:Who said dis?

2. I used to go missing a lot... Miss Canada, Miss United Kingdom, Miss World. George Best?

4. If you even dream of beating me you'd better wake up and apologize. Ali?

5. Americans want grungy people, stabbing themselves in the head on stage. They get a bright bunch like us, with deodorant on, they don't get it. Oasis? Noel probably.

7. I'm a businessman first and a boxer second. I'm looking for the readies. The aim is to win at all costs. The reason why I'm such a successful pugilist is that no one knows my limitations better than me. Chris Eubank?

8. You should treat women the same way as any good Yorkshire batsman used to treat a cricket ball. Don't stroke 'em, don't tickle 'em, just give 'em a ruddy good belt. Geoff Boycott?

by **seanmichaels** Wed 07 Oct 2015, 2:57 pm

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
seanmichaels wrote:Who said dis?

2. I used to go missing a lot... Miss Canada, Miss United Kingdom, Miss World. George Best?

4. If you even dream of beating me you'd better wake up and apologize. Ali?

5. Americans want grungy people, stabbing themselves in the head on stage. They get a bright bunch like us, with deodorant on, they don't get it. Oasis? Noel probably.

7. I'm a businessman first and a boxer second. I'm looking for the readies. The aim is to win at all costs. The reason why I'm such a successful pugilist is that no one knows my limitations better than me. Chris Eubank?

8. You should treat women the same way as any good Yorkshire batsman used to treat a cricket ball. Don't stroke 'em, don't tickle 'em, just give 'em a ruddy good belt. Geoff Boycott?

2,4 ,7 correct

by **Pal Joey** Wed 07 Oct 2015, 2:58 pm

3. James Dean?
6. Keith?
9. George W.

by **seanmichaels** Wed 07 Oct 2015, 3:03 pm

The Loaded Dog wrote:3. James Dean?
6. Keith?
9. George W.

6. 9. correct

by Guest Wed 07 Oct 2015, 3:04 pm

1/ Brendan Rodgers
3/ Bruce Forsythe

by Alistair Wed 07 Oct 2015, 3:05 pm

5? Coldplay or Arctic Monkeys

by Guest Wed 07 Oct 2015, 3:08 pm

5/ Boyzone, Westlife, Take That

by **seanmichaels** Wed 07 Oct 2015, 3:13 pm

5 is oasis just not noel.

by Guest Wed 07 Oct 2015, 3:24 pm

JuliusHMarx wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
JuliusHMarx wrote:A bromance
Is brewing
It could be their undoing

Sean & Shah!
Sean & Shah!

I am
A Believer
Sean is the receiver

Sean & Shah!
Sean & Shah!

A punctured
Liver
If Shah is the giver

Shah & Sean!
Shah & Sean!

You speaking from experience, Jules?

by Mind the windows Tino. Wed 07 Oct 2015, 3:24 pm

seanmichaels wrote:5 is oasis just not noel.

Oh for the sake of f*ck. I said Oasis. Just give me the point you cretin.

by **seanmichaels** Wed 07 Oct 2015, 3:35 pm

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
seanmichaels wrote:5 is oasis just not noel.

Oh for the sake of f*ck. I said Oasis. Just give me the point you cretin.

I'll give you 1/5th of a point for correctly identifying the band.

by Mind the windows Tino. Wed 07 Oct 2015, 3:36 pm

Moron.

by **seanmichaels** Wed 07 Oct 2015, 3:40 pm

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:Moron.

3.20 is enough to give you 1st place at the moment.

by Mind the windows Tino. Wed 07 Oct 2015, 3:42 pm

seanmichaels wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:Moron.

3.20 is enough to give you 1st place at the moment.

Liam?
The base player. Paul McGuigan. Is that right?
The baldy one (Rowley)
The drummer. Used to drum for Paul Weller but his name escapes me.

by **seanmichaels** Wed 07 Oct 2015, 3:45 pm

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
seanmichaels wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:Moron.

3.20 is enough to give you 1st place at the moment.

Liam?
The base player. Paul McGuigan. Is that right?
The baldy one (Rowley)
The drummer. Used to drum for Paul Weller but his name escapes me.

Alan White was the second drummer and he didn't drum for Paul Weller, his brother did.

McGuigan and Bonehead lucked out. They wouldn't look out of place in Wetherspoons at half 7 in the morning.

by Adam D Wed 07 Oct 2015, 4:10 pm

Force and Styles - Heart of Gold?

by **ShahenshahG** Thu 08 Oct 2015, 6:45 am

Fist bitches

It's clear
Their addiction
is homoerotic fiction
Jultino!
Jultino!

by **rIck_dAgless** Thu 08 Oct 2015, 6:55 am

Sicond mofo

How goes it mate? Pleasant morning here

by **ShahenshahG** Thu 08 Oct 2015, 7:01 am

Not too bad actually mate. Blue sky, just a little bit nippy and my stomach is full. Have had worse days. Yourself?

by **rIck_dAgless** Thu 08 Oct 2015, 7:13 am

Fair to middling today, less audit action and more tail chasing, though could be worse, could have Jeff's job...

by **ShahenshahG** Thu 08 Oct 2015, 7:16 am

Shaping up to be a nice day. Sky is getting bluer! Have you ever done a raid or mock raid on one of your customers?

by **rIck_dAgless** Thu 08 Oct 2015, 7:26 am

Nope only raids I have done are online and mainly involve guns or dwarves...

Would be interesting to do though...

by **ShahenshahG** Thu 08 Oct 2015, 7:32 am

It's really not. Basically you wake up at an ungodly hour, wait for the security guard to open the building then act aggressively towards him to intimidate him. He knows that you can't go through and you know you can't go through without a legal escort (or at least a working knowledge of where anything is) but you risk catching one with an evil temper and being beaten to a pulp. Either that or he smiles politely at you to delay you while the company's legal team arrive in their underwear.

by **rIck_dAgless** Thu 08 Oct 2015, 7:47 am

Hmm, you are right, that does not sound fun, especially looking at most of my colleagues, the underwear part would be the worst bit.

by **ShahenshahG** Thu 08 Oct 2015, 7:57 am

About half and half on our legal team. Male female split 2 decent blokes but wouldn't want to see em in their skivvies but the three ladies are lovely looking lasses.

Ho Ho HO

The sun is out and the day is looking glorious.

by **rIck_dAgless** Thu 08 Oct 2015, 8:05 am

No split in my team, I don't socialise with them as they are boring, they probably think (rightly) that I am a massive tool, so it works for all of us.

Sun is nice here too, though that means I have no excuse to indulge in some actual exercise... Rats

by Mind the windows Tino. Thu 08 Oct 2015, 8:27 am

ShahenshahG wrote:It's really not. Basically you wake up at an ungodly hour, wait for the security guard to open the building then act aggressively towards him to intimidate him. He knows that you can't go through and you know you can't go through without a legal escort (or at least a working knowledge of where anything is) but you risk catching one with an evil temper and being beaten to a pulp. Either that or he smiles politely at you to delay you while the company's legal team arrive in their underwear.

Apparently, something like 80% of dawn raids happen on a Tuesday. Primarily because the lazy b*tard officials from Europe basically don't work on a Monday.

You're allowed to delay them at the front door for a "reasonable" time. 20 minutes or so, then you have to let them in. But you're allowed to 'shadow' them for the entire day if you want. You can stand as close as you like so long as you don't physically impede their work. And you can take copious notes about what they are doing.

If/when it happens to us, I am going to follow them to the toilet, wait outside and then start frantically scribbling down notes as they come out. I might stick my head in the cubicle, take a deep breath and scribble down some more notes.

That will freak them out.

by **seanmichaels** Thu 08 Oct 2015, 8:56 am

by **seanmichaels** Thu 08 Oct 2015, 9:00 am

Who is doing the raiding by the way?

by Mind the windows Tino. Thu 08 Oct 2015, 9:03 am

seanmichaels wrote:Who is doing the raiding by the way?

Depends on what you're being raided for, but my industry would be the financial regulators from the European Commission. Hence the lazy b*stard European part.

by Guest Thu 08 Oct 2015, 9:08 am

Dropped my Liverpool Cup this morning. Shattered everywhere. Seems apt somehow. Shower of sh!t all over, needs sorting out, new broom sweeping clean, start again with a new model...that sadly does the same thing as the last one!

by **rIck_dAgless** Thu 08 Oct 2015, 9:11 am

DAVE wrote:Dropped my Liverpool Cup this morning. Shattered everywhere.

Just need sean to come in and sort the mess to finish the analogy...

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