The Culture Cup Round x - Adam is a naughty naughty boy

First topic message reminder :

Sean is a bummer.

Pretty sh1t on here today. Promising start, especially with Jeff getting himself settled early, then some decent posting from Dave but not much support from the rest. I was hoping to be nicely set up for my 8000 but looks like it's going to be a non-event.

Congrats Galted, long overdue.

Bloody love you galted. Cone down to clapham. C?unts galore. I am gonna get blinded

Thanks chaps. Thought my previous post was 7999 so f*cked that one up. Just another 1000 to go to the next milestone which, at the present rate of posting opportunities, should take me to mid 2017 when Tino starts the 3rd Culture Cup.

My cousin used to live in Clapham, she's very tasty and I certainly would risk being ostracised by the rest of the family if I could have a go on her.

Was walking by a house nearby and saw a "Beware of the Dog" sign attached to a neat, well painted picket fence.

Just as I was looking at the sign (wondering what sort of vicious canine beast lived there) a very old and extremely fat Labrador came careening down the side of the house, turning the corner like a keg of cider on 4 shaky legs... or 4 shaky trolley wheels more like. Sean would know...

It took ages to cover about 6m of well manicured easy lawn with no obstacles of any kind whatsoever to impede its 'movement'.
I noticed its eyebrows were very old indeed. Almost pure white they were.

It had a hoarse yet faint bark. Not very threatening at all.

Pathetic!

Maybe it had ebola fever.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3356357/Shocking-moment-middle-aged-streaker-sprinted-women-s-rights-march-wearing-pair-cowboy-boots-eight-hour-stag-drinking-binge.html#article-3356357

Sean the porn?

Morning Rick the tick. Lovely long weekend. Morning is brisk. How was yours?

It's just no good anymore since you went away
Now I spend my time just making rhymes of yesterday
One is the loneliest number
One is the loneliest number
One is the loneliest number that you'll ever do
One is the loneliest
One is the loneliest
One is the loneliest number that you'll ever do

Rick has a long weekend. Morning shahreef? Good one?

Morning Sean the Porn. Yeah went down to Whipsnade was pretty brilliant despite the rain and wind. Watched the cheetahs scare the chit out of the gazelle/antelopes by feinting attacks towards em. The rest of the weekend was spent driving or sleeping so feeling pretty refreshed. How was yours?

Out Friday night which was good but realised I'll probably have to tone down the drinking if I'm ever going to meet a chick. I couldn't speak by half 11 apparently.

Not much the rest of the weekend. Pretty dismal in fact.

seanmichaels wrote:Out Friday night which was good but realised I'll probably have to tone down the drinking if I'm ever going to meet a chick. I couldn't speak by half 11 apparently.

Not much the rest of the weekend. Pretty dismal in fact.

Get high Sean. Get High instead. Much more pleasant and you'll retain most of your senses. No beer goggles and food will taste good.

Every meal I have had since Friday has tasted like Tequila....

Good morning.

Yeah, maybe worth paring it down a little, cowboy.

We've all probably made a fool of ourselves on occasion (except Jules and Jeff) but you don't want to get too bad a name for yourself.

Otherwise you'll be thinking of moving on to the next town... again. That could get quite tiring I'd imagine.

Oh, and I murdered a large redback spider this morning. Female.
Just realised the very small one I let go was the male. It was about 4m away from the first.
Where they came from I'll never know. Probably from that messy neighbour's yard diagonally opposite the back corner.

It wasn't my 'home' patch. That was the problem, it was some fancy gastro pub sort of place in Clapham where they served Tequila shots with the chicken chimmichurra burger. No one drank theirs and I was egged on to drink them

The Loaded Dog wrote:Oh, and I murdered a large redback spider this morning. Female.
Just realised the very small one I let go was the male. It was about 4m away from the first.
Where they came from I'll never know. Probably from that messy neighbour's yard diagonally opposite the back corner.

Which ones are more dangerous? Male or female?

The female is more dangerous, opposite to funnel web.
Yeah, the male looks nothing like the female. Saw tiny bits of zig-zag web near the male... the female was hopelessly exposed.

Good old Clapham. Were you up the junction?

Had a mate living in Wandwsowrth Common (Airedale Rd)... some fantastic parties thrown back in the day.
I 'accidentally' offended some girl (not a bad sort at all) there one night. One of those misunderstandings you know.
It was about not saying "Hello" properly or something... can't remember all the details. I was too smashed.

The Loaded Dog wrote:The female is more dangerous, opposite to funnel web.
Yeah, the male looks nothing like the female. Saw tiny bits of zig-zag web near the male... the female was hopelessly exposed.

Good old Clapham. Were you up the junction?

Had a mate living in Wandwsowrth Common (Airedale Rd)... some fantastic parties thrown back in the day. I 'accidentally' offending some girl there one night. One of those misunderstandings you know. It was about not saying "Hello" properly or something... can't remember all the details. I was too smashed.

Not as much as that spider. Morning TLD

ha yes, Shah. Felt bad about doing it actually. Ground it into the dirt with my left flip flop.

Good morning. You were right about the Nepalese bloke.
He was hanging around Saturday evening when I had scaffolders here... getting in the way.
Had to politely tell him "I was busy" at the end and closed the door on him.

You are a courageous man. In pakistan they have these steel dishes, like plates, glasses, bowls. Coca sticks to it and the ants "about the length from the tip of your index to the joint" sniff it out immediately and swarm it. I picked up a glass without looking and it was covered in ants and I threw it to the ground. Wouldn't dare put my feet near a poisonous spider in anything less than steel toed boots.

The redback is quite slow moving... pretty much stationary when you unveil their hiding spot.
My steel capped boots were indoors. Too hot for them at the moment. I just had to act on the spot. Like squashing a black and red pea.

Hmm our badges have failed again.

They've been missing for weeks. Can only see Galted's on this page.

Do you have scorpions in Aus? Woke up once with a whole clan walking on my chest. The mother was carrying about 12 babies and I thought - If I move i'm dead. Then got smacked in the face with a broom as it swept the feckers off my chest. The bristles left a few scars on my face and I had to tell anyone who asked I got attacked by a wildcat while I was sleeping.

I can see everyone's?

ShahenshahG wrote:Do you have scorpions in Aus? Woke up once with a whole clan walking on my chest. The mother was carrying about 12 babies and I thought - If I move i'm dead. Then got smacked in the face with a broom as it swept the feckers off my chest. The bristles left a few scars on my face and I had to tell anyone who asked I got attacked by a wildcat while I was sleeping.

Not lethal ones apparently. Never seen one here. Definitely none in the urban areas as far as I know.

Who swept them off you? Someone else? A family member?

Alistair wrote:I can see everyone's?

It must be my ad-blocker then. I used to see them all but now all I can see is some duplicated text under the user name.

The Loaded Dog wrote:

ShahenshahG wrote:Do you have scorpions in Aus? Woke up once with a whole clan walking on my chest. The mother was carrying about 12 babies and I thought - If I move i'm dead. Then got smacked in the face with a broom as it swept the feckers off my chest. The bristles left a few scars on my face and I had to tell anyone who asked I got attacked by a wildcat while I was sleeping.

Not lethal ones apparently. Never seen one here. Definitely none in the urban areas as far as I know.

Who swept them off you? Someone else? A family member?

Alistair wrote:I can see everyone's?

It must be my ad-blocker then. I used to see them all but now all I can see is some duplicated text under the user name.

One of the maids. She did the whole "OMG WHAT HAVE I DONE" and grabbed her face when she looked at the cuts on mine. I waved her off thinking this mild stinging was nothing compared to the 20 odd stings I might have gotten.

Good morning.

Morning Tino. We're discussing your favourite subject today.

Round 5 of sheep is my Xmas present for windows.

ShahenshahG wrote:Morning Tino. We're discussing your favourite subject today.

I haven't seen any mention of see through leggings?

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

ShahenshahG wrote:Morning Tino. We're discussing your favourite subject today.

I haven't seen any mention of see through leggings?  

That's because they're see through. Duh.

Sean, I see they have released a trailer for Independence Day 2. That must be like porn for you?

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:Sean, I see they have released a trailer for Independence Day 2.  That must be like porn for you?

Saw that last night. Looks amazing.

Just saw it now. Does look good.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LbduDRH2m2M

Nuke em, nuke the b*stards.

I said this a while. A fist pumped at my desk when I saw it

seanmichaels wrote:I said this a while. A fist pumped at my desk when I saw it

W*nker.

I don't know whether he is taking the pi55, but Nadeem's answers have had me actually crying with laughter at my desk. Big Cat - Garfield

Lol out loud.

Haha

I was going to put Jeremy Clarkson as he's a f*cking massive p*ssy

Not even anger could salvage that one dodgy dave

michaelsed

seanmichaels wrote:michaelsed

And again.

Did you play this weekend?

What position do you play Tina? Have an image of you as a Phil De Glanville, scared of the ball centre. Picturing lots of flappy hands and a pristine uniform whilst all around you are covered in mud.