The Culture Cup Round x - Adam is a naughty naughty boy

by Rowley Fri 08 Apr 2016, 7:45 am

First topic message reminder :

Hugh Jackman is a sunglasses indoors wearing obnoxious cockwomble.

by **ShahenshahG** Mon 25 Apr 2016, 1:18 pm

rick_dagless wrote:I have balls, Shah, though I sincerely hope that all my little chaps are swimming in random directions, as I have no wish to breed...

Interestingly sperm are attracted to the smell of Lily of the Valley.

And probably repulsed by the lily liveried hence tinos ability to breed so quickly. I shall pretend sympathy to assuage any feelings of inadequacy he rightly feels. Thank you for setting me straight rick.

by **rIck_dAgless** Mon 25 Apr 2016, 1:21 pm

No problem Shah...

Myself and Tino had a drunken conversation at "The View" whereby it was agreed that he was going to have my quota for the North West...

This quota has now been hit and we have both stuck by our guns, as a good, honest, Man of the North should...

by **ShahenshahG** Mon 25 Apr 2016, 1:23 pm

rick_dagless wrote:No problem Shah...

Myself and Tino had a drunken conversation at "The View" whereby it was agreed that he was going to have my quota for the North West...

This quota has now been hit and we have both stuck by our guns, as a good, honest, Man of the North should.

Man as in singular? Sympathy in short supply rick? Harsh man harsh.

by Mind the windows Tino. Mon 25 Apr 2016, 1:27 pm

Rowley wrote:

Have to say I think you're being a little harsh on Tina. He is operating on a pretty high fertility rate, it is virtually a superpower. Even having the snip has only reduced the chances of him knocking Mrs Windows up down to 30%, the man is a virtual machine.

Thanks Jeff.

It's bloody tiring taking on Shah when he has you in his sights (pun intended). He's like a dog with a bone.

by **ShahenshahG** Mon 25 Apr 2016, 1:32 pm

Rowley wrote:I do indeed have balls Shah. TSMR finding me absolutely sexually repellent is as effective a means of contraception as we need.

Have to say I think you're being a little harsh on Tina. He is operating on a pretty high fertility rate, it is virtually a superpower. Even having the snip has only reduced the chances of him knocking Mrs Windows up down to 30%, the man is a virtual machine.

It might be for the best mate if Tino is anything to judge by, you could wake up one morning and start speaking like zed from the police academy

by **ShahenshahG** Mon 25 Apr 2016, 1:33 pm

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
Rowley wrote:

Have to say I think you're being a little harsh on Tina. He is operating on a pretty high fertility rate, it is virtually a superpower. Even having the snip has only reduced the chances of him knocking Mrs Windows up down to 30%, the man is a virtual machine.

Thanks Jeff.

It's bloody tiring taking on Shah when he has you in his sights (pun intended). He's like a dog with a bone.

Whereas you're like a dog without a bone. Ever again.

by Rowley Mon 25 Apr 2016, 1:35 pm

I think he can still get an erection Shah, am no doctor but think it is only his ability to jizz his load that has now gone.

by Mind the windows Tino. Mon 25 Apr 2016, 1:37 pm

Rowley wrote:I think he can still get an erection Shah, am no doctor but think it is only his ability to jizz his load that has now gone.

No, I can still jizz.

Just the babymaking component of my jizz is missing.

by Rowley Mon 25 Apr 2016, 1:38 pm

So it's like non alcoholic lager, Kaliber for all intents?

by **ShahenshahG** Mon 25 Apr 2016, 1:40 pm

Rowley wrote:So it's like non alcoholic lager, Kaliber for all intents?

Or oranjeboom, which might make the absence of Sean more sinister

by Mind the windows Tino. Mon 25 Apr 2016, 1:40 pm

Rowley wrote:So it's like non alcoholic lager, Kaliber for all intents?

Exactly that. Tastes the same but lacks the magic.

by **ShahenshahG** Mon 25 Apr 2016, 1:43 pm

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
Rowley wrote:So it's like non alcoholic lager, Kaliber for all intents?

Exactly that. Tastes the same but lacks the magic.

First a ball less wonder now a c*m guzzler. If Tino isn't Kellie maloney, I dont know who is.

by **rIck_dAgless** Mon 25 Apr 2016, 2:28 pm

You are on one today Shah me old china...

You bored at work I take it?

by **ShahenshahG** Mon 25 Apr 2016, 2:53 pm

Yeah got v long shifts and a lot of work I've managed to automate using excel and copy/paste. Hence 14 hours of gruelling work is done in 5 ish and I sit around pretending I'm focusing

by **rIck_dAgless** Mon 25 Apr 2016, 2:59 pm

Fair enough, explains the vitriol mate...

by Mind the windows Tino. Mon 25 Apr 2016, 3:26 pm

rick_dagless wrote:Fair enough, explains the vitriol mate...

At least we have stopped talking about my genitals.

by **ShahenshahG** Mon 25 Apr 2016, 3:56 pm

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
rick_dagless wrote:Fair enough, explains the vitriol mate...

At least we have stopped talking about my genitals.

Aye, snipped that one in the bud.

by **ShahenshahG** Mon 25 Apr 2016, 4:06 pm

We're gonna rock around the clock tonight
we're gonna rock rock rock till broad daylight
We're gonna rock around the clock tonight
We're gonna rock We're gonna rock around the clock tonight

by Rowley Tue 26 Apr 2016, 7:20 am

https://youtu.be/9buNckusos0

First notches.

by **rIck_dAgless** Tue 26 Apr 2016, 7:30 am

Morning Jeff...

by **ShahenshahG** Tue 26 Apr 2016, 7:45 am

Third, Morning Men with Testes and Tino. All well?

Not too bad Rowley

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aib4HAXbuXc

Zen like today. Serenity thy name is ShahenshahG

by Rowley Tue 26 Apr 2016, 7:46 am

Morning Rick. Where's shah? Been checking sky news. No stories of dawn raids or foiled plots. Need we be worried?

by Rowley Tue 26 Apr 2016, 7:46 am

Phew, a relief, but made my post a bit unnecessary.

by **rIck_dAgless** Tue 26 Apr 2016, 7:51 am

I was thinking the same to be honest Jeff, that or a lack of sleep meltdown...

Good to see you are in rude health Shah.

by **ShahenshahG** Tue 26 Apr 2016, 7:58 am

A product has passed approval in the U.S so the big guns were in early doors strategizing, patting each other on the back and finding the best way to roll out the product. Was in at 6 but pretty busy until now. Watching craftsmen work their magic in their respective fields always gives me peace, then destroying their work gives me a boner #Palmyra.

Are you boys well?

by Rowley Tue 26 Apr 2016, 8:02 am

I'm well shah. Day off tomorrow so just today to tolerate before a day of doing nothing.

by **rIck_dAgless** Tue 26 Apr 2016, 8:04 am

I am also well cheers mate, though I have an all day induction today FFS...

But off on Friday to watch Civil War so all good!

by **ShahenshahG** Tue 26 Apr 2016, 8:05 am

Rowley wrote:I'm well shah. Day off tomorrow so just today to tolerate ~~before~~then another day of doing nothing.

Fixed that for you. Why didn't you take Thursday off so you could have a 4 day weekend?

by Mind the windows Tino. Tue 26 Apr 2016, 8:13 am

Good morning all.

The common garden worm has five pairs of hearts.

by **rIck_dAgless** Tue 26 Apr 2016, 8:15 am

Morning Tino...

by **JuliusHMarx** Tue 26 Apr 2016, 8:17 am

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:Good morning all.

The common garden worm has five pairs of hearts.

That's uncommon.

by **ShahenshahG** Tue 26 Apr 2016, 8:19 am

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:Good morning all.

The common garden worm has five pairs of hearts. Whereas I don't even have a pair of balls

by **ShahenshahG** Tue 26 Apr 2016, 8:25 am

Morning Tino and nice to see you again Jules.

by **rIck_dAgless** Tue 26 Apr 2016, 9:00 am

Morning Jules...

by Adam D Tue 26 Apr 2016, 9:06 am

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:Good morning all.

The common garden worm has five pairs of hearts.

Which is why the worm community were largely unmoved by Janis Joplins records in the 60s.

by Guest Tue 26 Apr 2016, 9:16 am

Morning all, has Adam surfaced as there's just the faintest whisper of tumbleweed.

Anyway, delighted to have missed yesterday's mocking of Tina's nadbag and the contents therein. Unsurprised that Shah is still in a feisty mood.

Sad news that Kanye West has been found alive and well

by Mind the windows Tino. Tue 26 Apr 2016, 9:18 am

DAVE667 wrote:Morning all, has Adam surfaced as there's just the faintest whisper of tumbleweed.

Anyway, delighted to have missed yesterday's mocking of Tina's nadbag and the contents therein. Unsurprised that Shah is still in a feisty mood.

Sad news that Kanye West has been found alive and well

Serial, can you pop over to the Last Film Watched thread and confirm The Big Lebowski is the last decent Coen brothers film.

Galted and Jeff and some other people appear to have incorrect opinions on it.

by Rowley Tue 26 Apr 2016, 9:19 am

Adam D wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:Good morning all.

The common garden worm has five pairs of hearts.

Which is why the worm community were largely unmoved by Janis Joplins records in the 60s.

It was Big brother holding company. Do you remember nothing from Tina's CC

by Adam D Tue 26 Apr 2016, 9:26 am

I try to remember nothing to be honest but unfortunately my night terrors are filled with librarians, chips, sinks, Jackman and everyones favourite bird, seagulls.

by Guest Tue 26 Apr 2016, 9:50 am

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
DAVE667 wrote:Morning all, has Adam surfaced as there's just the faintest whisper of tumbleweed.

Anyway, delighted to have missed yesterday's mocking of Tina's nadbag and the contents therein. Unsurprised that Shah is still in a feisty mood.

Sad news that Kanye West has been found alive and well

Serial, can you pop over to the Last Film Watched thread and confirm The Big Lebowski is the last decent Coen brothers film.

Galted and Jeff and some other people appear to have incorrect opinions on it.

Done...although I guess the result would be the same as trying to use a cigarette filter to staunch the blood flow after ~~severing someone's femoral artery~~ someone accidentally had their femoral artery severed (probably after slipping on the hastily discarded dvd case of a vastly-inferior-to-The-Big-Lebowski-Coen-Brothers-film and falling onto numerous knives that had mysteriously appeared in the hands of a masked intruder)

by Mind the windows Tino. Tue 26 Apr 2016, 9:58 am

DAVE667 wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
DAVE667 wrote:Morning all, has Adam surfaced as there's just the faintest whisper of tumbleweed.

Anyway, delighted to have missed yesterday's mocking of Tina's nadbag and the contents therein. Unsurprised that Shah is still in a feisty mood.

Sad news that Kanye West has been found alive and well

Serial, can you pop over to the Last Film Watched thread and confirm The Big Lebowski is the last decent Coen brothers film.

Galted and Jeff and some other people appear to have incorrect opinions on it.
Done...although I guess the result would be the same as trying to use a cigarette filter to staunch the blood flow after ~~severing someone's femoral artery~~ someone accidentally had their femoral artery severed (probably after slipping on the hastily discarded dvd case of a vastly-inferior-to-The-Big-Lebowski-Coen-Brothers-film and falling onto numerous knives that had mysteriously appeared in the hands of a masked intruder)

Thank you.

I particularly enjoyed the offer of a straightener at the end.

I doubt anyone will take you on though. Galted couldn't punch his way out of a wet bag of acai berries and Jeff wouldn't want to risk injury with the prospect of doing a sex on TSMR this Friday.

by **ShahenshahG** Tue 26 Apr 2016, 10:12 am

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
DAVE667 wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
DAVE667 wrote:Morning all, has Adam surfaced as there's just the faintest whisper of tumbleweed.

Anyway, delighted to have missed yesterday's mocking of Tina's nadbag and the contents therein. Unsurprised that Shah is still in a feisty mood.

Sad news that Kanye West has been found alive and well

Serial, can you pop over to the Last Film Watched thread and confirm The Big Lebowski is the last decent Coen brothers film.

Galted and Jeff and some other people appear to have incorrect opinions on it.
Done...although I guess the result would be the same as trying to use a cigarette filter to staunch the blood flow after ~~severing someone's femoral artery~~ someone accidentally had their femoral artery severed (probably after slipping on the hastily discarded dvd case of a vastly-inferior-to-The-Big-Lebowski-Coen-Brothers-film and falling onto numerous knives that had mysteriously appeared in the hands of a masked intruder)

Thank you.

I particularly enjoyed the offer of a straightener at the end.

I doubt anyone will take you on though. Galted couldn't punch his way out of a wet bag of acai berries and Jeff wouldn't want to risk injury with the prospect of doing a sex on TSMR this Friday.

So it begins. Today a straightener, tommorow a curler then a perm and then he turns into a prince tribute act.

by Mind the windows Tino. Tue 26 Apr 2016, 10:15 am

ShahenshahG wrote:

So it begins. Today a straightener, tommorow a curler then a perm and then he turns into a prince tribute act.

You wouldn't know what a straightener is because -

A) You're southern
B) You folk just detonate rucksacks in enclosed spaces. That just isn't cricket

by **ShahenshahG** Tue 26 Apr 2016, 10:23 am

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
ShahenshahG wrote:

So it begins. Today a straightener, tommorow a curler then a perm and then he turns into a prince tribute act.

You wouldn't know what a straightener is because -

A) You're southern
B) You folk just detonate rucksacks in enclosed spaces. That just isn't cricket

Neither is you having to use a gumshield in your jockstrap instead of a cup but you don't hear me complaining

by **ShahenshahG** Tue 26 Apr 2016, 11:11 am

Rowley wrote:Another one bites the dust.

by **rIck_dAgless** Tue 26 Apr 2016, 1:10 pm

Afternoon all, flying visit to say there was no soup, and inductions suck balls...

by **ShahenshahG** Tue 26 Apr 2016, 1:11 pm

10 fish fingers 0/10

by Alistair Tue 26 Apr 2016, 1:37 pm

ShahenshahG wrote:10 fish fingers 0/10

Wizards Sleeve?

by **ShahenshahG** Tue 26 Apr 2016, 1:45 pm

Alistair wrote:
ShahenshahG wrote:10 fish fingers 0/10

Wizards Sleeve?

Why didn't you tell us you were bumming tino?

by Mind the windows Tino. Tue 26 Apr 2016, 1:48 pm

Hook Hand Hamza wrote:
Alistair wrote:
Hook Hand Hamza wrote:10 fish fingers 0/10

Wizards Sleeve?

I wish I was bumming tino?

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