The Culture Cup Round x - Adam is a naughty naughty boy

First topic message reminder :

Great idea, Rick. Like windscreen wipers on a duck's butt.

or better than posting the same fact two days in a row and twice ignoring Jules rather excellent response first day was forgivable but to miss the exact same response two days in a row and heavily loaded with irony was atrocious.

Cheers, Jeff, I shall look forward to it, I probably won't sleep at all tonight wondering what it is. Please don't be offended when it takes me 8 or so hours to reply as I'm unlikely to see the song when it's first posted but I shall hurry home as fast as the Docklands Light Railway will carry me to give it a listen.

Fist notches, morning Shah/Jeff/SERIAL and anyone else lurking around.

BUENOS DIAS RICKOOO.

Wife due in for her op at 09:15 will update later. also my cousins birthday as well so I cant pretend to have forgotten anymore.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vt3N-ljC6aY

Nice easy morning listening

Namaste, kaise ho aap?

Exciting times mate, you can claim not to give a f**k about your cousins birthdays however, that's what I do.

I am sure the CC will be on tenterhooks for the day.

You know the name or sex or anything, or just winging it?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XXUkddrnsXQ

Morning Notches.

Cava bien merci

Boy I reckon, she's been matching me bite for bite lately, the heavier eating usually means boy. Name is probably going to be Hassan so look out for that name in 11 years time

Morning Jeff...

I shall update my terror top trumps accordingly Shah!

Good morning.

Female velvet ants have no wings but are the only ones with a stinger.

Great FACT Tina. Your best yet.

Rowley wrote:Great FACT Tina. Your best yet.

Thanks Jeff.

Fascinating species, the velvet ant.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:Good morning.

Female velvet ants have no wings but are the only ones with a stinger.

They're also wasps and are nearly indestructible. put some effort in, you skimmed soy southern nancy.

ShahenshahG wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:Good morning.

Female velvet ants have no wings but are the only ones with a stinger.

They're also wasps and are nearly indestructible. put some effort in, you skimmed soy southern nancy.

Not under the sole of a Hi-Tec wielded by Galted.

You're very much on edge these days, Shah. More so than normal.

Is the new arrival stressing you out or is it the swathes of territory lost in Iraq and Syria?

Neither, it's the distinct lack of cannabis in recent months, plus testosterone overload from the gym.

ShahenshahG wrote:Neither, it's the distinct lack of cannabis in recent months, plus testosterone overload from the gym.

For the sake of f*ck Shah.  If sean posted something like that you would be all over it claiming that he'd been bent over the treadmill console and buggered senseless by the big boys.

superflyweight wrote:

ShahenshahG wrote:Neither, it's the distinct lack of cannabis in recent months, plus testosterone overload from the gym.

For the sake of f*ck Shah.  If sean posted something like that you would be all over it claiming that he'd been bent over the treadmill console and buggered senseless by the big boys.

Shah's like a magician directing your attention elsewhere whilst he completes his magic trick. Get everyone concerned about Sean's (frankly alarming) episodes on bum stuffery and people will be oblivious to his own.

Shah, a master of the dark arts (specifically the brown, sh!t coloured ones)

Anyway, morning notches. A grim, grey and dreadfully dull day here in Bradders (the weather's cr*p as well...arf) but I care not as today is all about the anticipation of a Cup win tonight for my beloved Liverpool...closely followed by crushing disappointment...quickly followed by prodigious alcohol consumption and watching my wife for signs of Manc-based sniggering.

Down south again, and happy to report the weather is poo here too.

I think it will be tough for Liverpool tonight, but you should win...

rick_dagless wrote:Down south again, and happy to report the weather is poo here too.

I think it will be tough for Liverpool tonight, but you should win...

All things being equal we should but you never know. Sevilla are used to winning it and like Liverpool in the 70's/80's might look upon trophies as their property. Looking for Sturridge to have a good game and show Hodgson that he's the main man but, to be brutally honest, I couldn't give a f*ck if we win with a scrappy goal that comes off the defender's backside!

superflyweight wrote:

ShahenshahG wrote:Neither, it's the distinct lack of cannabis in recent months, plus testosterone overload from the gym.

For the sake of f*ck Shah.  If sean posted something like that you would be all over it claiming that he'd been bent over the treadmill console and buggered senseless by the big boys.

If Sean had written that this is how it would have gone.

Seanmichaels wrote:

Adam D wrote:

Shahenshahg wrote:

Seanmichaels wrote:
''For fecks sake, it's the distink lack of poon that's getting on my wick. Especially at the gym where all the men are overloaded with Toblerone and could do with a dose of eastrogen. Stop wearing spandex you fat feckers''

That's not spandex Sean. It's latex and they wont eschew it as they don't know what or who has been in you

Morning guys!

F*ck off shah you f*cking anthropod[/quote


You've been away too long.

Can someone inform the Police that Shah is ticking and get him away from that f*cking computer?

DAVE667 wrote:Can someone inform the Police that Shah is ticking and get him away from that f*cking computer?

You sit next to them....

rick_dagless wrote:

DAVE667 wrote:Can someone inform the Police that Shah is ticking and get him away from that f*cking computer?

You sit next to them....

Rick mate. Do me a favour and tell Dave on this thread that I think he is a lazy c*nt.

Hmm, he is within stabbing distance of me Shah usually, so get Tino to do it...

He's not well disposed towards me at the moment as he's such a f*cking fact stealing b*stard and we called him out on it. It's going to take him a long time to get over being called a pale imitation of galted. I would get superflyweight or TLD to do it but Dave  would take that as friendly banter instead of a deadly insult.

'stair? He might be up for it.

Or that other green admin guy that pops in from time to time.

DAVE, Shah thinks you're a lazy c*nt.

I'm finding it hard to disagree with him.

rick_dagless wrote:

DAVE667 wrote:Can someone inform the Police that Shah is ticking and get him away from that f*cking computer?

You sit next to them....

You'd think that would give me some kind of inside track or ability to jump the queue wouldn't you but you'd be very, VERY wrong. My 20 year service has gone unacknowledged so my calls for officers to taser Shah, however justified, would fall of deaf and uninterested ears.

Alistair wrote:DAVE, Shah thinks you're a lazy c*nt.

I'm finding it hard to disagree with him.

Thanks Al, would you be kind enough to inform Shah that it shouldn't be long before all this attendance at the gym has him as bloated and obnoxious as TRUSSMAN which means, as sure as day follows night, that he'll also soon become a rectum-for-hire exotic dancer in a seedy club desperately begging people to pay for a peek at his bumhole

rick_dagless wrote:'stair?  He might be up for it.

Or that other green admin guy that pops in from time to time.

We normally throw his kind from the roof

Shah, DAVE says that it shouldn't be long before all this attendance at the gym has you as bloated and obnoxious as TRUSSMAN which means, as sure as day follows night, that you'll also soon become a rectum-for-hire exotic dancer in a seedy club desperately begging people to pay for a peek at your bumhole

http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/celebrity/queen-drops-slayer-song-titles-into-speech-20160518108925

Afternoon funny...

Alistair wrote:Shah, DAVE says that it shouldn't be long before all this attendance at the gym has you as bloated and obnoxious as TRUSSMAN which means, as sure as day follows night, that you'll also soon become a rectum-for-hire exotic dancer in a seedy club desperately begging people to pay for a peek at your bumhole

Tell Dave that should that ever come to pass it would be better than his fate. Which is to stand amongst one direction fans and form mosh pits because he can't be arsed to walk 10 steps to the SLAYER concert in the phone booth next door.

DAVE, Shah said you're a fat c*nt.

Alistair, tell Shah I'm not fat. He won't believe you because he's quite frankly a distrustful c*nt....and I'm a bit fat!

Also, please let it be know that I have no sympathy for people who quote Barry Scott when exploding homemade devices at airports or ejaculating into their boyfriends' mouths. We know Shah believes Westerners are filth but screaming "BANG...and the dirt is gone" is unseemly

Rowley wrote:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XXUkddrnsXQ

Morning Notches.

I'm deeply touched, Jeff. That's made my evening.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:Good morning.

Female velvet ants have no wings but are the only ones with a stinger.

Super, super fact, Tino. Your post has really put the velvet ant on the map.

Galted wrote:

Rowley wrote:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XXUkddrnsXQ

Morning Notches.

I'm deeply touched, Jeff.  That's made my evening.

I genuinely thought Jeff would post this one - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0-ms33LwO2k

JuliusHMarx wrote:

Galted wrote:

Rowley wrote:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XXUkddrnsXQ

Morning Notches.

I'm deeply touched, Jeff.  That's made my evening.

I genuinely thought Jeff would post this one - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0-ms33LwO2k

I'm deeply touched, Julius, but in a Jimmy Saville way. That's unmade my evening.

Galted wrote:

Rowley wrote:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XXUkddrnsXQ

Morning Notches.

I'm deeply touched, Jeff.  That's made my evening.

No problem Galted. If I can think of anything appropriate tomorrow's song might celebrate Villa's takeover my new Chinese owners. Have not really thought of a song yet. Was considering Turning Japanese and just hiding behind the fact that it is hard to tell the difference, but lazy racism is more Sean's thing. Am sure I'll think of something between then and now.

The Monty Python Chinese Song.
China In Your Hands.
After The Watershed mentions Chinese.

I'm not posting anything I think is shyte. As such China in your Hand is not happening. Various jazzists have done Slow Boat to China, but to be honest I think I am losing my audience as it stands, jazz is too big a risk. Could be lazy and go with China Crisis, but not sure it sends quite the right message.

I used to have a Chinese mate at school who liked the House of Love so it's an ideal opportunity to play Christine.

His name is Steve and he emigrated to Canada so look him up if you're ever there. Don't stand too close to him though because his breath f*cking stank.

No-brainer Jeff - Visions Of China by Japan.

Or the Chinese Dance from the Nutcracker, the Mariinsky ballet do a particularly impressive version.

Fist notches... have a dreadful hangover but not as bad as the entire Liverpool squad must have. We got f*cked more badly than Sean at a school reunion.

Morning DAVE, you just looked knackered and shell shocked when their goal went in, and capitulated after that.

Should have played Sakho, he knows how to keep Coke in his pocket...

Think they'll throw Moreno under the bus but there were half a dozen who failed big time. Player of the Year Coutinho being the main one for me. Never got off the plane at the airport. Still, had a fiver on Liverpool and a cheeky fiver on Sevilla.... got £30 which paid for my beer.

The trouble with that all action style of pressing is that if the head goes down, or someone is not at full tilt, it is tough to enforce. Klopp will bring in his own guys who fit his systems and should be fine.

At least you are in the Premiership mate.

https://youtu.be/RLwRf6kO16w

Morning notches. Some top scouse pop. Team may have lost Dave, but they know their way with a melody your scouse types.