The Culture Cup Round x - Adam is a naughty naughty boy

First topic message reminder :

I hope Jules is quick enough to get the thread split with one of his puns. Would hate it to be something tedious.

Morning Notches.

Buenos notches, what's going down in cup town? You all good Shah?

Knackered, spent a night on the sofa, i'm too old for that sh*t now, a snickers has partially revived me but I think a pastry and a hot chocolate should keep me going till 10:30. How did your catch up go on the paperwork, did you fake it? Did you copy and paste it? Did you turn it into spitcumballs and launch them down the blouse of the nearest passable female?

Copy and paste mainly mate then put headphones on a pretended to be in a con call for a while so idiots don't ask stupid questions, you know, the usual...

Why were you on the sofa? Harem outgrown the bedroom? I am back in the North today which is always a pleasure, and they have a lovely sandwich shop right near the office which always do cracking coffee, pity the women who work in it are minging...

You know the score, I like to break in a new woman on her own and mark her with a unique scent so I can retrieve her from the well worn fannies of either of my first two wives should they swallow her in a jealous rage.

My wife's mate came down, scratch what I said about her being pretty, she was f*cking stunning until giving birth three times. Now her hourglass figure looks like a monthglass figure. You can't beat a good sandwich. I'd love to have a tiger bread baguette every day but the fecking thing only lasts two days before it goes stale.

New joiner at work rick:

Butt,Tosh/has been issued with an access card.

ah yes I forgot about her, at least the temptation is not there mate.

You have to wonder why some people just do not change their name via deed poll sometimes...

rick_dagless wrote:Where is TLD when you need him, I want to know if he is deeply offended by this.

http://www.bbc.com/news/uk-england-derbyshire-37163416

Not offended rick. There are always people like that. "We" did do well though... thanks to your wonderful GB athletes.

My God that heifer is fugly. She ought to be wheeled off the cliffs (near Whitby) so we can all get some sleep.

Morning all. How is everyone today? Torrential rain here. I quite like a bit of minor flooding every now and then.

I never see how people can be offended by badly thought out comments by utter bell ends but such is life!

I am all good cheers mate, cracking the flags here at the moment so many sights good and bad, you should always dress for the body you have not the body you want...

rick_dagless wrote:I never see how people can be offended by badly thought out comments by utter bell ends but such is life!

I am all good cheers mate, cracking the flags here at the moment so many sights good and bad, you should always dress for the body you have not the body you want...

A wonderful expression that...

I suppose there will be a few medium rare pinkos feeling sorry for themselves. Do the streets get more violent when the temperature rises?

Streets seem to be less violent during the day mate and more so at night, because drinking starts earlier and carries on longer, but in the day they are too warm to productively riot I think.

The AC in here seems to be either sub zero or non existent however...

Samosas and roasted chicken legs. 10/10

I have a ham salad sandwich with all the trimmings made by the local portacabin ladies, and will be procuring some chips to put onto it for variation in texture and temperature when I eat it in the canteen.

I will report back...

Afternoon all, wife cooked some chicken thighs this morning and I've snaffled a couple for my dinner along with a bowl of steamed veg to bung in the microwave later. Just need a potato and some gravy (and a knife, fork and plate) and I'm away.

8/10 for my dinner =, details above.

I have sourced a desk fan, the day is getting better, 'stair needs a new tipster also.

Afternoon notches.

Decided to eat my chicken cold, and not bother with the veg. I should have perhaps pointed out that I am MASSIVELY hungover again and am beginning to think that I may have to address my dependency issues at some point.

Hangovers are not something I suffer from DAVE, don't know whether that is better or worse to be honest.

DAVE667 wrote:Decided to eat my chicken cold, and not bother with the veg. I should have perhaps pointed out that I am MASSIVELY hungover again and am beginning to think that I may have to address my dependency issues at some point.

Have a word with sean, he'll have some advice.

JuliusHMarx wrote:

DAVE667 wrote:Decided to eat my chicken cold, and not bother with the veg. I should have perhaps pointed out that I am MASSIVELY hungover again and am beginning to think that I may have to address my dependency issues at some point.

Have a word with sean, he'll have some advice.

Am fairly certain his advice will be, "Have a drink and forget about it!"

Which, to be honest, is what I'm planning to do anyway.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3756430/Ice-hockey-player-cleared-groping-woman-Swedish-bar-victim-gigantic-breasts.html

Can't accept that at face value. Need tangible evidence

Morning Notches, crappy weather here today...

Misf*ckingerable here too. Couldn't sleep till about 3-4 am then come in to bloody rain. Why couldn't it rain down during the night so i could sleep. How are you anyway?

Not too bad cheers mate looking forward to this week being over to be fair, and wrangling with the never too difficult decision of whether to go for employee loyalty, or more money nearer to home potentially.

I always enjoy sleeping to the sound of rain also, instead of being stuck behind people who have no idea how to drive in the fecker...

Yup, strong wind and rain while you're wrapped up safe and snug, between 4 wives makes for the best sleep.

I could well believe that mate, maybe if I don't run out of rohypnol anytime soon I may get the opportunity, who knows.

Wonder what delights the cup will bring today?

Just Me, you, Dave and Julio I suspect with a cameltoe from tld. I think the absence of Rowley and subsequent disappearance of Tino and Superfly can only mean one thing. They gone to Spain on their honeymoob. When science conceived the idea of three people embryos I don't think these three w*nkers was exactly what they had in mind.

I guess someone has to keep this place going whilst the founder is away planning the 3.0 mate.

We can take a break and on go on holiday when they all come back, so all will be good in the world I expect.

Also I am moving my mother out of my Flat today and into a different house, so it is shaping up to be a good day...

I am meeting up with my father today, so it is shaping up to be a bad day...

JuliusHMarx wrote:I am meeting up with my father today, so it is shaping up to be a bad day...

Is he well?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=boobie-WiNkB8g

Jules' father must have broken his serve. Tense first set this...

Morning all, watched "Bake off" last night with the wife and we played the double entendre drinking game. As a result, both Mrs667 and I were absolutely wrecked by the end.

It doesn't help that I have a dirty mind and a drinking problem!

DAVE667 wrote:Morning all, watched "Bake off" last night...

...followed by action netball.

Morning.

'Stair well?

Good, but tired thanks, Jules. Yourself?

DAVE667 wrote:Morning all, watched "Bake off" last night with the wife and we played the double entendre drinking game. As a result, both Mrs667 and I were absolutely wrecked by the end.

It doesn't help that I have a dirty mind and a drinking problem!

My showstopper cake would have been a mirror glazed c0ck and balls.  The balls would have been filled with cream and the c0ck would have had a worrying jam discharge.

JuliusHMarx wrote:I am meeting up with my father today, so it is shaping up to be a bad day...

Well, I was right. Tw@t.

superflyweight wrote:

DAVE667 wrote:Morning all, watched "Bake off" last night with the wife and we played the double entendre drinking game. As a result, both Mrs667 and I were absolutely wrecked by the end.

It doesn't help that I have a dirty mind and a drinking problem!

My showstopper cake would have been a mirror glazed c0ck and balls.  The balls would have been filled with cream and the c0ck would have had a worrying jam discharge.

Mary Berry changes habit of a lifetime and, instead of cutting a slice off to taste, decides to deep throat the whole thing

'sup notches

Morning Rick the Notchnik, didn't think you were on today and with the absence of High councillor Moob Rowley, I was going to wait till about 9 to post. All good in the hood?

Morning all

A fine day today. Sun's out in Edinburgh, dress-down day in the office and the firm's finest BobFoc is through from Glasgow and is wearing tight jeans.

ShahenshahG wrote:Morning Rick the Notchnik, didn't think you were on today and with the absence of High councillor Moob Rowley, I was going to wait till about 9 to post. All good in the hood?

Morning mate, the sun is shining, I have managed to clear my calendar for an early dart, and I have friends over tonight for food and drink.

Morning supes, always good to get a BoBFoC in as long as they face the right way.

Whaddup Notcherinooos

Lovely day in Bradders...won't stay like that!

In Wakefield today mate, but it was nice when I left and hoping to be nice when I get back... Out for food tonight in Idle.

How is your weekend shaping up?

Daughter has another party to go to, I wanna watch the Liverpool game at lunch time but feel certain the party is slap bang in the middle of it. Told wife it might be nice to swap but she's already made plans to go out with our son...bloody hell. Rest of weekend seems as though it will be spent looking for new wallpaper for my daughter's room with lots of arguments before we finally settle on buying her a hideously overpriced self adhesive border which does of course mean my Bank Holiday will not be spent shifting bedroom furniture and trying to remember where in the garage I put the paste table.

I love not having kids, it's ace, there is nothing like that moment when you get back from a hard days work, and you walk through the door, and you are not greeting by any small demanding face, and you just dump your stuff and go to the pub.  You wouldn't understand unless you don't have kids...

On a football note, I did see someone comment that Leicester, Porto, Bruges and Copenhagen is not Champions league group, it is an advert for Easy Jet summer deals...

Which made me chuckle.

rick_dagless wrote:I love not having kids, it's ace, there is nothing like that moment when you get back from a hard days work, and you walk through the door, and you are not greeting by any small demanding face, and you just dump your stuff and go to the pub.  You wouldn't understand unless you don't have kids...

On a football note, I did see someone comment that Leicester, Porto, Bruges and Copenhagen is not Champions league group, it is an advert for Easy Jet summer deals...

Which made me chuckle.

Oh no Rick, I do understand. Although, "understand" is the wrong word..."Appreciate", "remember fondly", "miss like f*ck". I didn't always have kids, mate!

DAVE667 wrote:

rick_dagless wrote:I love not having kids, it's ace, there is nothing like that moment when you get back from a hard days work, and you walk through the door, and you are not greeting by any small demanding face, and you just dump your stuff and go to the pub.  You wouldn't understand unless you don't have kids...

On a football note, I did see someone comment that Leicester, Porto, Bruges and Copenhagen is not Champions league group, it is an advert for Easy Jet summer deals...

Which made me chuckle.

Oh no Rick, I do understand. Although, "understand" is the wrong word..."Appreciate", "remember fondly", "miss like f*ck". I didn't always have kids, mate!

haha, was just reversing the words around of the usual response when you ask those, over gushing, new dads you hear all the time, this does not apply to you, or anyone on this thread to be fair.

I have to sit in a cramped coffee area with dozens of screaming kids for 90 minutes tomorrow while my oldest daughter is at her various dance classes. I'll then have to go home and take my youngest daughter for a long walk in her pram, regardless of the weather, because that's the only way she'll sleep during the day - and she's a f*cking nightmare if she doesn't sleep during the day.

I then have to build various items of furniture because my wife decided to turn the 2nd living room into a toy room and got rid of the battered old armchair (which I loved) and couch and replaced them with bean bag chairs and now wants all kinds of kid-friendly shelving in there. That's the room I usually watch football in so Frak knows what I'm going to sit on because the bean bags are built for 5 year olds and I'll split the f*ckers if I sit in them.