The Culture Cup Round x - Adam is a naughty naughty boy

First topic message reminder :

I hope Jules is quick enough to get the thread split with one of his puns. Would hate it to be something tedious.

Hectic to be honest mate, people making life difficult for themselves, and causing work for others. C**ts.

I now have to stay awake for a 1 hour strategy con call, lame.

No way to put on a movie on in the background and pretend to be listening?

ShahenshahG wrote:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=asxrMSVrJ08

Afternoon notches

Buttered toast and eggs.

7/10

Have always assumed that anyone having toast is putting butter/low fat spread on it.

ShahenshahG wrote:No way to put on a movie on in the background and pretend to be listening?

You can almost guarantee that if you do that, then you will be asked to vocalise an opinion on something, and will look like a bell end.

I have the attention span of a drunk toddler so will need to focus up on something I reckon.

Marmalade, jam, marmite are just some of the things that I've seen put on toast. You should visit a cafe sometime

rick_dagless wrote:

ShahenshahG wrote:No way to put on a movie on in the background and pretend to be listening?

You can almost guarantee that if you do that, then you will be asked to vocalise an opinion on something, and will look like a bell end.

I have the attention span of a drunk toddler so will need to focus up on something I reckon.

I get caught out quite regularly on that front.

A good cover is either to claim that the line went bad and ask the person to repeat the question or just hang up completely and then dial back in claiming that you had phone issues..

Yup, that is my usual out, this one is with the big brass boys and girls, which, as you know, will just jump to an assumed opinion that they have heard in their heads, and quickly move on to the next point, whilst your name mysteriously gets put next to comments and actions that you did not agree to. C**ts

Stoke City sign Man City's Bony on loan.

There's a headline you don't see every day.

ShahenshahG wrote:Marmalade, jam, marmite are just some of the things that I've seen put on toast. You should visit a cafe sometime

I'm fully aware of that, you fat c*nt. My point, you know full f*cking well, is that prior to jam, marmalade or marmite, there will generally be butter or margarine (or whatever the f*ck they call it these days). No-one ever says "I had beans and buttered toast" do they? "Beans and toast" will suffice.

F*ck you, cue ball. Accuracy and detail are essentials in the pedant's paradise that is the culture cup.

ShahenshahG wrote:F*ck you, cue ball. Accuracy and detail are essentials in the pedant's paradise that is the culture cup.

You've confused accuracy and detail for stating the bleedin' obvious. Occasionally a person will have unbuttered (or dry) toast usually in the mistaken belief it's a decent hangover cure...it isn't. Outside of that, there's no reason to add that you toast is buttered, we'll just f*cking assume that it is because it's weird* not to have anything on it

* not like Galted's everyday kind of weird, but you know, just weird.

Always had a soft spot for bony....

Bloody hell Sean. At least go through the pretence of posting like your account's not been hacked by shah.

Are we to take it from your earlier post that you've got back together with the aged, fake-hipped, Gallic sex denier?

I like butter on toast but I never remember to take it out of the fridge beforehand so I always end up with a f*cking block which tears away the surface of the toast.

superflyweight wrote:Bloody hell Sean. At least go through the pretence of posting like your account's not been hacked by shah.

Are we to take it from your earlier post that you've got back together with the aged, fake-hipped, Gallic sex denier?

No. But i think I would like to. Just waiting for the euphoria of the week to die down to make sure the two things aren't related

Morning sean, how goes the gardening business?

GUTENTAG NOTCHES

Can't be doing too well Rick, he hasn't got mulch to say about it. Are you well?

I am indeed well thanks Shah, off tomorrow for a long weekend, so just need to plough through the day and on to Bingley Music Live festival, which is up the road from my house.

You?

seanmichaels wrote:Always had a soft spot for bony....

G'day sean,

Me too.

"Boney" (spelled "Bony" in the books) was a half-Aboriginal detective who tracked murderers by spotting an overturned twig or a crushed ant on the sand. A loner who never failed to crack a case, he was impatient with authority, charming, arrogant and an expert burglar, moving in a world of sunbaked claypans and the most distant reaches of the Outback where only the Aborigines could survive.

Expert burglar? You don't say...

How the f*ck is everyone else?

Sounds like that should have a HD remake at the cinema TLD

All is good in here I believe, how goes the antipodes?

rick_dagless wrote:Sounds like that should have a HD remake at the cinema TLD

All is good in here I believe, how goes the antipodes?

Think I heard talk about that, mate. Would be good with some modern violence... weird Dream Time sequences, etc.

Bony:

All good here too here. First day of spring. A hint of blistering heat in the distant sky. A feeling of uncontrollable growth somehow looms...

Morning all. TSMR's granddad's funeral today. Dare say I'll get the cold shoulder for a few days for not crying.

Rowley wrote:Morning all. TSMR's granddad's funeral today. Dare say I'll get the cold shoulder for a few days for not crying.

As long as you manage not to laugh or throw money about you will be fine. Hope it goes off without a hitch mate.

All well Rick, shaking off the bank holiday lethargy. Routine thrown to the wind for the moment as school rush is on. Evenoon TLD All well in the deep south?

Rowley wrote:Morning all. TSMR's granddad's funeral today. Dare say I'll get the cold shoulder for a few days for not crying.

You'll be fine. Had a funeral last Friday for a mate's Scottish Dad. It was so sad with the daughters all crying. Even my old mate choked up... after starting his speech so well. I was so sad too... the bagpipes seemed so appropriate yet not overbearing... he hit all the right notes... but I'm like a dry river bed now. Couldn't cry if I tried. I could understand why they were all crying though. It was so emotional.

Just give them, the close relatives of TSMR's, a couple of hugs - one near the start when everyone is milling around - the other just before you go.
A few simple carefully chosen words of genuine sympathy. Worked a treat for me. That should leave a good imprint on their minds in the aftermath.

Rowley wrote:Morning all. TSMR's granddad's funeral today. Dare say I'll get the cold shoulder for a few days for not crying.

http://home.bt.com/news/odd-news/prize-winning-whippet-killed-by-snake-in-freak-attack-11364034663248

Think of this when he's being lowered into the ground.

Any plans for your 13,500th, Shah?

A puff adder pun perhaps?

He'd claimed he'd adder but we all knew Sean was a grade A puff.

Well played mate.

Adder nough of all this mourning, wailing and uncontrollable sobbing at funerals.
Geez... some do carry on like a bunch of sensitive puffs!

Rowley wrote:Morning all. TSMR's granddad's funeral today. Dare say I'll get the cold shoulder for a few days for not crying.

As long as you don't complain about the poor quality of/lack of Wi-Fi you should be fine.

Turkey salad sandwich, Seabrook's salt and vinegar crisps, pint of full fat milk 9/10

Afternoon notches.

rick_dagless wrote:Turkey salad sandwich, Seabrook's salt and vinegar crisps, pint of full fat milk 9/10

Afternoon notches.

Bloody hell Rick - that's living a bit too fast for my liking!

Jesus supes! Coming from Scotland that is quite the statement.

Afternoon mate

Would have thought that a pint of full fat milk in Scotland would be the English equivalent of a sip of distilled water.

Anyway, ham and cheese sandwiches, bacon flavor crisps and a load of apple Maoam chews that my kids don't like. Also listening to MONO's new track, "Ely's Heartbeat" 9/10 (loses a point cos my cup of tea has gone cold)

Afternoon Rick and Dave (sounds a bit like a gay couple that might present some kind of youth travel show).  

My work carries out full medicals when we hit 40.  I'm only 18 months away from that and will no doubt be presented with an endless list of chronic ailments.  I'm going to need to cut something out and I'm not cutting out alcohol - much easier to switch to semi-skimmed milk.

superflyweight wrote:Afternoon Rick and Dave (sounds a bit like a gay couple that might present some kind of youth travel show).  

My work carries out full medicals when we hit 40.  I'm only 18 months away from that and will no doubt be presented with an endless list of chronic ailments.  I'm going to need to cut something out and I'm not cutting out alcohol - much easier to switch to semi-skimmed milk.

The only travel advice I'd give to young people is for them to f*ck off as far away from me as possible. I have no comment on how much of a suitable gay couple Rick and I would make!

Are gay couples allowed to present youth travel?

What a time to be alive, got to be better than those twunts off of Why Don't You?

rick_dagless wrote:Are gay couples allowed to present youth travel?  

What a time to be alive, got to be better than those twunts off of Why Don't You?

Just switch of ya television set and go out and do something less boring instead? Sitting at home watching tv, turn it off it's no good to me...

That's the one, I fricking hated that show...

Stuck up little ball sacks

Only really know the theme tune...I know loads of that useless cr*p.

Strawberry Medley from the Tesco, a Tiger Baton with red Leicester cheese and a pint of Jersey milk. 9/10

For the sake of f*ck! Another one writing cheques with milk that his body can't cash.

Roast Chicken and Sweetcorn Sandwich
T-Bone Steak McCoys
Galaxy (hadn't had one in years and I feel a little fruity today)
Pepsi Max (500 mls)

8/10.

Stop being a nonce, drink full fat milk to protect yourself from diabetes. I need to give up the fizzy so i have replaced with extra fat milk.

Buenos Notches.

Could potentially be the deadest CC day ever.

I saw a van this morning that said 'Crowley Bros.' and I wondered - is it pronounced 'Crowley' or 'Crowley'?

I'd wager good money that it's 'Crowley'.

Saw a pride of lions lounging around in this big circus yard whilst I was stuck in traffic alongside it a few weeks back.

Thought it looked very odd... you know... African beasts trapped in Australia for our entertainment. They seemed to be enjoying themselves though. In fact, they looked quite at home and very relaxed in their new surroundings.

Afternoon all,

Daughter's last day at Nursery so I'm going to feel that bit richer (little lad's still there so the diamond encrusted filleting knife will have to go on the backburner for a while longer).

Suspect Crowley is pronounced Crowley (as in Crowley) as opposed to Crowley (as in Crowley) (shame there's no-one on here who could assist)